I previously posted this late July 2026:
https://www.reddit.com/r/uofu/s/Arkf5Prlqn
I heard today that it's actually happening. Campus-wide. Still no communication from senior leadership but I heard from a reliable source that they going to go through with it.
Has anyone heard anything new?
I'm in the process of divorcing my abusive husband of 17 years. We have one child.
Before I woke up to the reality of the horror that was my relationship, I kept many things throughout my relationship. Some of it was to tell our child their parents' love story. Of course, all of that (the love story) is gone. I cannot tell what was real, forced, given out of manipulation, and more. Our entire relationship was built upon lies, fallacies, tall tales, insidious behavior, and broken promises.
So what do I keep? I don't want to erase my relationship but I just don't need to keep it all anymore.
Btw the things I'm talking about range from movie stubs, letters, notes, pictures, dried flowers, presents from him, etc. The dried flowers are getting thrown out because they were for appearance (he used to have them delivered to my office) or because he didn't know what to get me or he did something he shouldn't have. I just don't know what I'll regret throwing away like i have in the past. Cleansing my life of a relationship and then later wishing I have certain things.
Do you let your 3-4yr off watch PG rated movies and shows?
What is off limits or a definite no when it comes to PG entertainment? Meaning, are there just scenes you FF or specific movies or shows you find inappropriate for your preschoolers?
Example PG Movies: How to Train Your Dragon; Mr. Peabody and Sherman; Hoppers
Example PG Shows: Trolls: The Beat Goes On; SuperKitties; The Magic School Bus
Immediate repost to fix my title.
First, I have to say this movie had me saying (to myself) "WTF" throughout the movie.
My 3yr old child picked it. I only know the premise from the description United Airlines provided. I did not watch the trailer.
This was not a suitable movie for them. Without audio and CC it seemed like an animated horror movie. Thank goodness my child fell asleep.
It looks like President Randall is wanting to try again to implement "return-to-offoce" (RTO) like last year (2025). I'm hearing 3 days a week in office. My department absolutely doesn't have the space to accommodate this change. What have you heard from your leadership?
My (39F) daughter (3.5y) and I fly out this Friday taking the early bird flight (6am). We fly back a week later arriving around 11p. I'm trying to figure out what would be best, safest and easiest for transport to the airport. My ex-husband would pick us up after we get back but not drop us off for various reasons.
We live about a 30 to 40 min drive from the airport. I don't exactly feel safe taking an Uber or Lyft at 4a in the morning with a sleepy child. Not to mention the hassle of the car seat.
I'm considering mid level pricing parking or valet. Right now I don't care about the cost as much.
Advice please.
After I moved with my now ex-husband, we had been a couple for 14 months. We moved to a city about a hour and half from my hometown for college. We were non-traditional students. Anyway, all of this only happened during the first year of the three years we lived in the university couples/family housing. This fall, we would have been together for 17 years.
He never straight out punched, slapped, kicked, put his hands on my neck, or held me against my will. We'd rough house, which now seems a bit strange to me. I don't even remember how that all started. I only remember none of it was out of anger. At least that's what I thought. I remember that he would hold my wrist(s) or arm so hard that it would leave bruises. Which obviously was completely unnecessary. He'd poke me and maybe leave a bruise.
One time we somehow we were talking about finger flicking. Of course any flicking I even did barely stung. He flicked me straight on the forehead and it hurt! Some time later, he did it again. I cannot remember the circumstances around it, though he wasn't angry or anything. Nonetheless, he knew it would hurt, but did it anyway. He'd joke a few times about flicking me because I was teasing him or something similar. I'd joke for years to come that he had fingers of steel.
This is probably making something out of nothing. We were just tossing a basketball back and forth. He used to play basketball in high school. Out of nowhere, he passed the ball to me fast and hard. It landed straight in the face. He seemed to kind of feel bad but not really. Luckily, nothing broke or bled. Just a lot of tears and a runny nose.
There is probably more but I cannot remember right now.
Here's my theory about all of these was his way to show me just how strong he was. How he could inflict pain or cause bruising easily. He also knew I'd fight back in defense if he were to hurt me. So, as result that I knew just how strong he was and that he probably figured out I could be easily "trained" / controlled by non-physical violence, he went that direction. All of this stopped the longer we lived together. We never rough housed, nor poked me, or flicked me again.
Since then, his abuse was psychological and emotional. Eventually, financial abuse fully entered the picture.
Any possible abuse over the years post-wedding that could be classified as physical, he had pounded his fist once on the counter during an argument. I immediately went upstairs. Another time he was so angry about something that happened with our child and I didn't react well. He slapped the couch arm so hard that he sprain his thumb. What pushed me over seems so benign. He threw down a pull-up out irritation because I didn't come help him with our potty training toddler. He absolutely did not need me. I was finally able to eat breakfast and I was sick to boot. That didn't matter. He never brought up the whole situation ever.
Any tips, tricks, advice needed!
Next month (July), my 3.5 yr old daughter and I (single mom) will be flying home to visit my family. I'm in the West and my family lives in the Midwest. Here are the details:
- We will be gone 8 days.
- This is first time she has flown.
- I will be renting a car.
- Each way has one stop. First stop is an hour and the returning trip stop is 1.5 hrs.
‐ The trip to the Midwest is an early bird leaving at 6am.
- The trip home to the West is a late afternoon departure, getting us home just before midnight.
- We will visit and will stay in three different cities with family. They are about an hour to 1.5 hrs apart. Two nights for the first and second cities. The last city will be for three nights.
- She only met my family once when she was six months old. So this will be like meeting them for the first time.
- She is potty trained.
- She's a picky eater.
- She bedshares with me at home.
- She goes to daycare full-time.
S3 E5 @ 8:02 minutes in we see Maddie take a picture of a flyer for a 6-week Marketing in the Digital Age evening course. Imgur link below.
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I don't think this was ever brought up in the series. This is probably foreshadowing how S4 ended. With her busy life, not sure how she would fit in a 6-week course. Maybe she was taking marketing courses on the DL.
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Thoughts?
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I (39F) have always loved unsweetened iced tea. It was Liptons glass bottles of iced tea when I was in my early teens that got me hooked. Oh goodness, Nestea lemon in a can, I couldn't get enough of it. Ofc at the time, I had no concept of caffeine. I just loved the flavors.
I hated coffee. The smell. The taste. The aftertaste. Coffee breath on someone else. So gross, still. Old hot coffee smell still gives me a migraine. My parents drank their drip coffee black. It wasn't until I started dating my now husband 16 yrs ago (STBXH) that I slowly started to also drink coffee. He was an avid black coffee drinker and still is.
After all this time, I still love tea. However, I now have a somewhat elaborate setup at home to make a coffee latte every morning. In the summer, I usually gravitate to iced tea instead of any coffee drink.
I left her father three months ago. So we're separated. Custody is pretty much all me, but he does see her a few times a week. Please tell me if this normal or not. I can give more context if you ask.
What I find disconcerting is that he doesn't check up on how she's doing. He is well aware he can text me whenever about her. Even if I said I don't want to hear from him the days he does not see her, I'd still expect him to ask how she's doing if she's sick.
Not once in the three months he has checked up on her. One day she fell at daycare, busted her lip. Scratched up her face. I got the call from the center. I texted him to let him know it happened. After pick up, nothing. The next day, nothing.
Another time, he knew she was sick bc I texted him one night that she had a 102 fever. Next morning nothing.
This past Thursday, she was coming down with a cold. It was his day to pick her up. He made a thing about it. Next day, nothing. This morning, nothing. Even though he'd pick her up after her nap for his time.
I assume like most things in our whole relationship, he expects me to communicate with him. But he doesn't have to with me. I stopped doing that after I left him. Doesn't seem to bother him.
Edited spelling, missing words, and grammar
Just as the title stated.
I'll go first.
Apparently you can just claim to be a book agent and get a someone else's book published by a publishing company. No questions asked.
Who else has experienced this? How normal is this? Advice requested.
Last fall, her school did their usual move kids up in classes. My daughter was nearly 3 at the time. The move meant the older kids (3yr olds) were moved to the 3-5yr room. Along with her teacher, which she had a strong bond with. She lost her playmates (and her teacher) and ended up becoming the oldest child in the 2-3yr old room. It took her awhile but she eventually adapted and found new playmates.
Then today, without warning, they moved the super potty trained, just turned 3yr old kids to the 3-5yr room. This included her best playmate. The one she always mentioned playing with every day. My daughter (now almost 3.5yr) is out of pull ups and diapers. She's doing really well with potty training. She has some accidents.
Again, there was no conversation about her not being moved. And even when she would be able to be. Once again, she has been left behind. This happened to her in the 1-2yr room too.
I'm quite displeased. The director wanted to move her to the 3-5yr room earlier this year but changed her mind. Giving me some kind of (new to me) potty training accident rule. Rarely any accidents for 2-3 weeks. It's not in the parent handbook. We suspect they gave up her spot and didn't want to be upfront about it. The whole thing stunk. I asked her teacher about it at the time and that teacher said plenty of kids go to the 3-5yr room not fully potty trained.
If my daughter wasn't in the middle of potty training, I'd find a new place for her.
I know this is a venting/ranting because my heart aches for her. This is the 3rd time her friends "left" her. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I'm worried what this will do to her social development and self-esteem.
Someone please help talk me down before I go all mama bear on them.
Who else has experienced this? How normal is this? Advice requested.
Last fall, her school did their usual move kids up in classes. My daughter was nearly 3 at the time. The move meant the older kids (3yr olds) were moved to the 3-5yr room. Along with her teacher, which she had a strong bond with. She lost her playmates (and her teacher) and ended up becoming the oldest child in the 2-3yr old room. It took her awhile but she eventually adapted and found new playmates.
Then today, without warning, they moved the super potty trained, just turned 3yr old kids to the 3-5yr room. This included her best playmate. The one she always mentioned playing with every day. My daughter (now almost 3.5yr) is out of pull ups and diapers. She's doing really well with potty training. She has some accidents
Again, there was no conversation about her not being moved. And even when she would be able to be. Once again, she has been left behind. This happened to her in the 1-2yr room too.
I'm quite displeased. The director wanted to move her to the 3-5yr room earlier this year but changed her mind. Giving me some kind of (new to me) potty training accident rule. Rarely any accidents for 2-3 weeks. It's not in the parent handbook. We suspect they gave up her spot and didn't want to be upfront about it. The whole thing stunk. I asked her teacher about it at the time and that teacher said plenty of kids go to the 3-5yr room not fully potty trained.
If my daughter wasn't in the middle of potty training, I'd find a new place for her.
I know this is a venting/ranting because my heart aches for her. This is the 3rd time her friends "left" her. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I'm worried what this will do to her social development and self-esteem.
Someone please help talk me down before I go all mama bear on them.
I'm writing all of this to try to give you context and to demonstrate I'm not the problem*.*
Tldr: I share an article about phases of love dying. His response is to share an article about controlling partners. Saying that I'm controlling. He doubles down and then hits me with emotional manipulation. In the end, we're not discussing my article, we're discussing him and his article. I provide context and background to demonstrate why I know I'm not the problem. Well, I guess being an enabler is a problem. I didn't realize that's what I was doing until it was too late. I created some issues but I did all I could to save the marriage. He did all he could to destroy it.
I recalled the other day a situation that occurred awhile back with my STBXH. It happened via text message, so I looked it up. Funny think it happened exactly two years ago to the day. Here's what happened:
I read a Psychology Today article about the phases of love dying.
Me:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-marriage-of-equals/202108/when-love-dies
Don't get caught up or read too much into the title or the primary theme. The article itself has good information and actually provides insight to what I've been going through in the last how many years trying to improve our relationship and get you on a better track.
He responds back with:
I read through it and I recognize a lot of what was said. I've felt similar in several ways too.
-ok fair response. But that's not the bad part. On the same message he says this:
I also saw this article and wasn't sure if I was gonna share it, but that feeling in itself says a lot too. Not saying I relate to all of this one either, but parts of it absolutely did. Please read https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201506/20-signs-of-a-controlling-partner
It goes sideways from there. I admit yeah some are vaid, from the article read, however, the circumstances are important. My "controlling' behaviors are in the response to stop the emotional pain and damage to the relationship. I go on too say how I've tried everything to get the pain to stop. Being loving, supportive, understanding, explain my feelings. Blah blah
He comes back with: All I asked was for you to read the article because it resonated with me. You asked me to do the same for your article, yet I get dumped on?
I want to have a conversation. I want to talk about these things like adults. It seems you've made all of these assumptions about what I was or wasn't going to say about either article. This response makes me feel bad for even trying to express myself, which I've honestly learned to expect. This very thing was discussed in that article.
*he blames me for his behavior, I get upset. He refuses to partake in daily decision making then complains, I get upset. He says one thing and does another, I get upset. He fakes agrees on stuff and then acts like I made him agree or that's not how it went or never happened. I get upset. He lies to me, sneaks around, I get upset. You get it. Me reacting and holding him accountable to his poor behavior is the problem. I'm not saying I do no wrong. I know I do far more right then wrong.*
He goes on to say how we need to go to therapy to recognize hiw we're being hurtful to each. That he's not the selfish POS I describe anymore. *I never called him names. And refrained as much as possible to say things like you're selfish. You're a terrible person. Etc. Because that is hurtful and wrong. But he called me a robot, a monster, a mean spiteful person, miss know it all, and more*
Then he goes in for the emotional manipulative plea kill-
You're the only person I had to vent to, to share my concerns or fears with, to explain my personal pain or struggles, or any other emotion. You were my person. It's been a long time since I've felt like you were there to listen. To listen without judgement or distraction. That you were on my side and in my corner. That you valued my opinion and decisions. That you were capable of admitting you were wrong and that you were confident enough in yourself to allow yourself to be wrong. It's part of the reason I fell in love with you! You used to understand that. You talk about how I'm distracted, and I'm certainly often guilty of that, but I can't even tell you a story without feeling rushed or that you're uninterested most of the time. It feels forced and pointless.
I go into how he makes promises he won't keep, lied straight to my face for months, sneaking around (to indulge in his shopping addiction), and how if he really wanted things to be better then why not try to treat me better, stop the hurtful behaviors, not actually like I have no reasons to be angry or hurt.
I end with saying Let's do this. Do everything possible to cordial and positive this weekend. Thats means each other avoiding triggering words and issues that we know causes the other pain.
He said he wasn't skipping over my feelings, he just didn't wasn't comment until he knew what I was referring too. OK fair. But he didn't even ask. He turns around and says hey you're controlling.
This man has put himself into tens of thousands of debt on his obsessions/shopping addiction instead of paying for food, clothing for his daughter, hospital bills, and more. He would tell me he had to stay behind at work or a coworker stopped him. But he was actually out at hobby stores. I'd be upstairs caring for our baby. He'd take that opportunity to sneak in his purchases. He opened a secret Amazon account and had those purchases delivered to lockers for pick up. While I was in labor, he said he was bored, checked for work emails and online shopped. Yeah he has a problem. Oh he knows it. But absolutely refuses to get real help for it.
This all blew up back in November 2023. The message exchange above is from April 2024. You'd think he would have seen the light of day by now. Nope. He has over 20 open buy now pay later accounts- all opened in the last 6 months. Some opened after I left him late February 2026. I only know this because I took control over a joint cc (i was mislead when I co-signed it. He told me it was a loan.) That he racked it to over $10k. So I have access to his credit report. He knows I have that access. And shows absolutely no shame or guilt about the things he knows I now know.
All of this happening while I work full-time in a demanding management position, pay for everything but all of rent (usually), phone, and auto insurance. Take care of our toddler daughter 80% of the time (she does go to daycare) breastfeeding, keep the house up, cook and grocery shop (because I couldn't deal with the years of conflict over it), plan things, and more. Him either saying he'll help and then not. Him complaining, giving me backhanded compliments. I'd ask him to do things. I'd be very specific in time frame, the task, being flexible with it, and try not to remind him. All the things he has told me why he didn't do xyz. I meet his goal line, he moves it.
I could go on and on. This is starting to derail so I'll stop here. Thanks for hearing me out.