u/Bubbly-Air7302

sadly, I’d give it a few days. don’t think you can survive that toxin infiltrating your organs, tissue, brain etc

I just realized I’ve been hijacked - rather than have my own thoughts throughout the majority of my life, I’ve been replaying my father’s voice for years and years and years. I have felt completely imprisoned.

this has manifested in eating disorders, ocd, depression, anxiety, insomnia, nightmares.

it has controlled me and now I’m ready to break free.

I keep seeing commercials for fall clothing when it’s 95 F out with a real feel of 103.

not trying to be dramatic but this is not the weather of the past.

I hate it — I feel like fall will never come or be super short. anyone else feel like this?

I constantly internally berate myself for eating; for desiring a full meal but now allowing.

im constantly picking, snacking and trying not to be normal and eat meals.

i just had the realization that this is fragmentation that has happened due to years of trauma.

so after two months of trying to find a more suitable home for my 9 month rescue puppy, and not being successful, Ive had to make the decision to surrender her to a local shelter who will take her in and help her adopted to a new family.

preface this by saying I’m an animal lover — I already have one two year old dog who is my pride and joy. He’s done really well with the puppy but she’s been jealous of him the entire time and acts out a lot; chaotic / destructive behavior no matter how much training, exercise, attention she gets.

ive been in agony over this for weeks and my anxiety sky high. The people in my life are judging me claiming the puppy “is so sweet” despite what they don’t see behind closed doors.

the dog is sweet but a handful and I’m at my breaking point.

how do I deal with the anxiety and stress of giving her up permanently and waking up tomorrow and the next day without her in our home?

please help spread the word if you know someone who could give sweet Birdie a loving home.

thank you 🙏

are there any apps, books, or other resources that have truly made an impact?

and, if something could exist that isn’t already out there, what would you want to see?

I’ve realized that there’s no amount of money that could be in my account that would make me feel like i can spend freely.

I’ve had money and I’ve lost money.

have been trying to get over the panic of spending even tiny bits of money (when I have the resources) and know that it’s probably deeply engrained from how I grew up.

has anyone experienced this and successfully overcome their mindset around money without swinging to the opposite end and spending recklessly?