u/Calm_Pumpkin_4304

Often when I see discussions about the lack of ethics in the porn industry, there will be people recommending ethical porn productions that claim to be by women, for women, educational etc.

Personally I don't watch any porn and I have it blocked on my phone, so I can't (and don't really want to) look it up, but maybe some of you did, or even if you don't, you have an opinion about it.

Like when I said many kinks (especially dom/sub ones) are influenced by the patriarchy, women within kink scene immediately come and deny it. They right away say "but it's consensual". Patriarchal ≠ non-consensual.

I'm not telling them "you can't engage in kink" "you're a bad person if you do that" etc., I'm only saying that it's influenced by the patriarchy. It's like they can't grasp that something they like might be rooted in patriarchy, so they immediately get defensive about it. Some women seriously think that patriarchy = everything I don't like. That patriarchy is only what directly, undoubtedly harms women. That there aren't subtleties within it, that there aren't patriarchal creations that are enjoyed by many women (ex. porn or being a SAHM).

Or there's always "but gays and lesbians also have sub/dom relationships" as if patriarchy does affect ALL of us, regardless of sexual orientation.

Just had an online discussion with a lady who compared her own job as a postal carrier out of financial necessity to people in sex trade who are there out of financial necessity. Are there really people who seriously think delivering letter and packages out of financial necessity is just like having sex with someone out of financial necessity?

It feels like I live in a totally different world.

I had never taken any SSRIs before. Tomorrow I'm starting fluoxetine (first 5 days 10mg, then 20mg). If you've taken it, what side effects did you experience and when did they go away?

I have anxiety so now I'm anxious at the prospect of starting to take it 😭

Everyday I realise how many people, men and women, watch pornography regularly. I'm not surprised by it, it's sexual stimulation that people enjoy and they got used to having access to it, but still... Knowing not only how unethical the industry is, but also the effects it has on human brain and how it affects people's perception of intimacy, I wonder if I'll ever find someone who doesn't watch it.

Sometimes I feel like an outcast with the experiences and views I have when it comes to pornography.

Encountered a post just now:

"Forceful sex is not rape.

Violent sex is not rape.

You can be gentle and it can still be rape. It can be slow and soft and pleasurable for the rapist, and still rape to the victim.

What makes it rape is the fact that the victim doesn’t want it to happen to them."

Which, yes, but also: guess what is being said when people under that post question why other want violent and forceful sex? "Virgin", "vanilla".

Do some people seriously never sit down and consider that certain things have more depth than a pond? That it's not just about harmless fun but about a negative side effect of patriarchy and misogyny that is only amplified by modern pornography?

Even among pornography watchers there are 'subgroups': those who are considered fun and adventurous because they like and watch 'kinky' stuff and those who are boring, vanilla people that watch and like 'regular' stuff.

I'm reluctant to get on meds because I don't want to experience vivid dreams or nightmares, if I could I would honestly prefer not to dream at all.

It's his affair girl-turned-girlfriend and I started to doubt his past love for me. I suppose it doesn't matter now, but like... How can you cheat on someone you love and how can you, a month after the breakup, take your new girlfriend to all the places you went to with the person you supposedly still loved just recently? Help me understand because I can't. The cheating was already a betrayal but doubting the love I thought we had feels like a bigger betrayal

Whether it's more time watching, relying on it too much, escalation in watched content, developing insecurities or something totally different

This includes many issues like strongly relying on it to orgasm, spending more and more time watching it, noticing escalation in watched content etc.?

Pornography addiction is usually talked about as male problem, no doubt it's more noticeable among men cause statistically they make a bigger % of pornography users overall, but I've lately seen many women also admitting to having it or experiencing it in the past, so I've been wondering as a woman who had that issue

Is there something that could help a person forget their own unwanted memories?

Do women seriously don't consider that if it wasn't for patriarchy and the suffering that women went through for centuries all those dark romance book would probably not exist or would be unpopular?

Women got so desensitised that they romanticise male violence towards us. These are themes based on what men actually make women go through, but since it's fiction it's branded as totally okay.

How is it totally normal to like these books but any criticism of them is considered pearl clutching or being a sex negative prude? I don't think I will ever understand it.

I'm just curious, how often do you do it or maybe some of you don't do it at all? Do you think it's healthy, unnecessary, whatever? And what drives you to do it? Are you just used to do it at a certain time of day or do you need something to get you in the mood specifically?

It was supposed to be my first time on a plane and it was overall my first time buying tickets. I was buying them via Booking along with an insurance. I requested refund thro Booking like it told me to, how does it work? Can I get the entire amount back (since I won't be flying to X) or only for the actually cancelled flight? No idea how this works and why are the refunds not automatic when a flight is cancelled

I used the paid one directly from Z.AI, but idk which model would be the best

My first ever relationship ended recently. We got together in high school, I just graduated university. We were together over 6 years.

Sexual intimacy was a big problem. We were each other firsts. I think I experienced vaginismus, sex was painful, then the pain faded and it was uncomfortable, then it was just not much. Overall my mindset around intimacy was really damaged, I avoided it. It just was a horrible experience for me.

We got together when we were young, so I didn't got into that relationship considering any sexual compatibility/attraction because I simply wasn't thinking about sex at that age at all. I think that + the bad experience with sex burned down the entire attraction I had, I associated intimacy with that pain/lack of pleasure. I loved him as a person, he was my best friend (he cheated so lowkey fuck that), but well, it's over now.

I feel sort of hopeless a lot of the time nowadays, like maybe I'm damaged in that aspect, but then I have these hopeful moments that maybe in a more mature relationship, with someone I am genuinely attracted to (now that I'm older and I know myself better, know more about what I want) things would be different.

So I guess after that vent, I want to hear something hopeful from you. How maybe you were in a similar situation and later met someone that just awoke something in you that you never knew existed lol. Or anything really.