u/Captain_Oveur79

TLDR, and this is a slight rant.

I over extended myself too many times with someone I spent nearly every day because I would over extended myself with tasks. This in turn wound up breaking his trust by having constant plan changes and last minute rescheduling and playing the victim.

I’ve had this issue for a very long time, and I have gotten better, but it just starts snowballing and then I have angry friends or late work meetings, or missed therapy appointments, etc. I feel so awful. I can’t just say no sometimes. I can’t let my family down, I can’t let my friends down, I literally can’t screw up at work. I’m so scared of losing everyone I say I can do it all and instead I disappoint everyone.

I already try putting everything in my schedule. I had this happen with another friend a few years ago. After that situation, I started putting most things in my calendar. I’m a lot better, but I still screw up some times. My jobs are already rather erratic and change at a moments notice. If I say yes a week before the event, it’s possible I’ll get scheduled for work at a short notice, so I have to reschedule. If I say no, then there’s the chance I don’t get called and I missed out on something fun. I don’t know what to do. I don’t like my jobs anyway because of how hellish they are for the little pay I get. I have a laundry list of personal projects I have yet to complete because I’m so tired or someone needs me.

Instead of getting everything done, I have lost a friend and I’m so overloaded I’m creating this at 3am waiting for my sleeping pill to make me try and sleep. Maybe I do sound like a victim tonight. I just want it all to stop so I stop letting people down and I stop feeling like I’m about to explode.

There are days I’m working 12 hours with 6-7 different appointments set up and it runs like a well oiled machine. It feels amazing to manage that. There are days where I have nothing going on and then things start happening all at once.

I do have a therapist. But I’m not seeing them this week. Ironically, I missed half of my last session because it took me 4 hours to get my tires changed. I spent my only day off in a month at a tire center for 4 hours, missed half the session, and I feel like I upset my therapist. Ugh. I hate this.

So I have not been able to decide if this is a warped rotor situation or if it’s something else.

At 100% SOC when slowing down at low and high speeds I feel a noticeable cogging sensation. I don’t know how to describe it exactly. Basically when decelerating it basically feels like you having a jittery breaking sensation throughout the entire car. When driving at higher speeds and accelerating, the entire wheel starts to shake, and my car starts to pull to the right.

When having too hard to decelerate using the friction brakes, I have had some flutter, but never to this extent. The friction breaks feel fine after initial push through. That and I don’t get the severe situation when I charge to my normal 80%.

Is this just a case of warped rotors, or should I schedule a service appointment and see if somethings going on with my front motor?

I have posed here before talking about being lonely, questioning a lot of things and worrying about being alone. I own it, I admit it, and they’re all very real things that every only probably thinks about. However, I don’t have siblings, I’ll never know what it’s like to have siblings, so why get so depressed over something that doesn’t exist. The opportunity cost seems skewed to me.

What I’m having issues with, is the fact that so many of these “MY LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER WITH A SIBLING” posts. Can we please remember that imagining a sibling vs the reality of having one are different. Tons of siblings hate each other. Lots of people don’t talk to their siblings. A lot of people lose their siblings due to death. My grandpa was the youngest of 7, he hasn’t spoken to any of them in 30 years, 3 of them died in their 20s. The ones who do reach out only want money. My dad had a sister who disappeared one night to marry someone and moved away. My dad never spoke to her again. In my line of work, I see people being greedy, vindictive, and awful to their siblings to get a leg up after their parents die. Siblings are human, not superhuman, and they’d never be the imagined and ideal brother or sister that is often fantasized. Are there good relationship brothers and sisters? Of course but siblings, or even having kids of your own, doesn’t guarantee you won’t be alone when you are older.

If you had a rough childhood already, a sibling wouldn’t have solved it entirely. If financial issues were frequent, a sibling would have made everything worse. Could a sibling have taken some of the brunt if a parent was abusive? Maybe. Who knows. Maybe your older brother would have hated you for making the family poorer and causing more arguments ergo causing more drinking or physical abuse. Or maybe the younger sister was the favorite and got everything while you got yelled at and treated like shit.

All I’m trying to say is, whether you like it or not, you are an only child. Your experiences are valid and the trauma that comes with it, that a lot of us have, are all valid. But don’t hyper fixate on something you had no control over, and learn to be okay being alone in your own skin. There are ways to make friends who could become your extended family. Stop resenting your parents, they did what they thought was best.

I still struggle with the thought of being alone at some point. My dad is dead, my mom will be around for a long time, but I’ll eventually be alone. Do I wish I had a sibling to help me deal with my dad’s affairs? Sure, but it doesn’t guarantee they’d even help me through it. Do I wish I’d have a sibling to call when I’m 80 and I have no family left? Sure, but what’s to say they won’t be dead or mentally impaired by then? They could have married a demon and never talked to me again (true story with my step grandpa and his brother).

Finally, and I’ll repeat. A sibling DOESNT guarantee better parents, lifetime companionship, an easier life, nor an easier upbringing.

I just turned 25 and and I’m having a bit of a conundrum. I’ve never been a club person or a concert person. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m missing something, and seeing people, guys I’m interested in or acquaintances, going to such events. Not even necessarily going because they want to, but because that’s a 3rd space. I don’t drink and frequently work evenings so it’s never been much of an option to me. Atleast that what I tell myself, the reality is that I’m fairly introverted outside of my friend group and work, and feel awkward going alone. I don’t have friends who go out, and I genuinely am usually working. Most of my queer friends are also introverted. The only friend who does want to go out for moral support is a woman, which is not a gripe, it’s just that we look like a straight couple in a gay bar haha. The thing is, I love edm, rave and club music and I see all of these concert shorts and I’d love to go.

So what should I do? Man up and go? Force myself out of my comfort zone? Acknowledge that it’s okay to be busy and respect that I’d like to have someone go with me if I did want to go? All of the above? None of the above?

I got inspired by a post I saw doomscrolling this morning on this page. When I got my car it was ceramic coated and looked beautiful. 8 months, 20k miles, a few touchless washes (non wax car soap and rinse), and living mostly outdoors has definitely taken its toll. What steps should I take to get back to having some beading?

I’m guessing a good hand wash is in order to solve the issue, but are there any other things I should consider? Descaling maybe?

I just got back from an 11 day trip to Europe where I walked 10-15mi a day. The shoes were brand new and hadn’t been worn until I put them on to go to the airport. By the time the trip was over, the front tread was almost down to the foam, and in wet conditions it got pretty slick. The walking was in paved roads, some cobblestone. I’ve had this issue on my last 3 Ghost 17s in the last year where they wear down like this in the first 100mi. The shoes are comfy, they mold nicely to my feet, and are great to walk around in. I’ll admit I’m a big guy at 6’8” and 225lbs but a friend of mine with On Clouds walks similar distances, is heavier than me, and doesn’t have the treads being worn out after 100mi. I an a fairly neutral walker with a slight lateral wear pattern. Should I try a different Brooks product? I’ve worn Ghosts since the 12 and have really enjoyed the lineup, but I need my shoes to last a bit longer than they have.

25M. I’m out and proud to my friends, and usually don’t care who knows my orientation and have gay uncles who love and support me. My mother, well she says one thing then does the other. I came out as bi to her about 4 years ago when a guy friend from college was visiting and we shared a bed, it was rather funny in my opinion. I’ve since concluded that I’m gay and will wind up with a male as a spouse if the universe aligns. Well I’ve talked to her saying things like “I don’t care if I wind up with a man or a woman for my partner, I’d probably prefer a male though” which has been met with more dismissive comments as well as more pestering to talk to her co workers daughter, or one of the girls in my friend group that I’ve had since HS. My mom loves me dearly and has told me she doesn’t care, but she makes it a big deal if I mention being single and happy and maybe not ever having children. She sometimes is cold to the lgbtq community and still thinks being bi is fake. She also has a habit of forgetting any conversation we have about my sexuality. She has no recollection of what happened with my friend so long ago.

I want to talk to her about this, but it also feels like I already have and she just doesnt want to hear about it.

My friend and I had our flight cancelled, we’re at a hotel at T5 and would like to make the most of a unique situation. It’s the evening and we were considering taking the hour long bus ride to see the exterior of Windsor. Apart from that there’s not much else I can see to do unless we go back to central London. Got any thoughts?