u/CheriColaProduct

I got too many emotions and grindr hookups make me sad

The raccoon wants adventure, good food, my vices, and great conversation, and performance

The accountant wants to be a halfway reasonable human being, keep my job, keep my place, save money, invest

I went to school for accounting for 3 years. I was also homeless 3 years during COVID (hard season to get a restroom I tell ya)

Im very split minded to the extent that I dont know which is the real me. Ive gotten accusations here of being fake or cosplay homeless (automod usualy zaps em), forgive me, I am just allowing myself to live an experience that has become second nature to me, and being willing to do this allows me to save on motels, spread my wings, and travel

I was never dishonest with anyone who got to talking

The main rhyme slogan I used while spanging was "every cent dents the rent, 10 percent sent to ladies and gents in tents" aka I was trying to be honest while still doing what i do and playing my life cheatcode.....

And it is a cheat code

My accountant brain sees the numbers, measures them, considers strategy, brand, image. The accountant sees the raccoon is onto something with their rascly performance; it's situationally very productive, and more importantly, under the table

Disability punishes you for working too hard. Arguably, rhymes for dimes isn't work, and this isn't income, theyre donations.

Feasibly i could crowd fund my pretzel business doing this and find success

Its been really rolling in my head.

Accountant brain wants to just work in a cubicle. But realistically, living that way, in an ivory tomb like that; idk i mighta jumped by now.

The accountant needs the raccoon to feel alive

Sometimes the raccoon needs the accountant to stay alive too.

Anyways im either returning back to normal or abandoning the airbnb im hardly in anyway. Should i flip a coin on it?

​

How about warm shawarma Summons the Simmons Swarm huh

Of retro tropes and antelope

Everybody clap together

Forever

80s songs sing along

Work it work it feel the burn you'll learn

And have a wholesome turn

You have the eye of the tiger baby

The thrill of the fight, and rabies

And little cute crotch babies

And the last known survivor stalks her prey in the night

While keeping her Cubs in her sight

Cause shes about to feed them maybe

Pounce for an ounce n trounce

RIP, rend, weave cleaves, breathe, give it a ferocious vorocious vicarious vicious bite this night

And maybe feed your baby cub club

​

Radish dish with fish I wish

A clay coloured carp caught cautiuosly at the Colborne canal

I didn't have a lisence

Climbed concrete crags carefuly where folk can't see

In that moment it made sense cause I had 0 cents and couldn't pay my rent

Cast my reel

Wait for that tug you feel

'Til the spirit of the lake cuts you a deal

Bring it to shore and club it for the kill

And now I have scales to peel

Rusty rare radish rooted roughly

Steamed til they're nice and fluffy

I found it on a ridge under a bridge so I smuggled it, snuggled it in my coat, got on my boat, and brought it to my friend's frosty full fridge

And my broth boiled and bubbled and brewed in sloth

Savory salty spicy soup for the soul have a bowl Im sharing with the group

The fish is back in water in bits and mash

And seasoned with spices from my stash

Radical radish reduction and a pices abduction

So don't you make the rude assumption

That I don't eat well......

YOU.DO.NOT.OWN.THE.SIDEWALK

We own the sidewalk, it is public property and no business can sass you for being on it in their proximity no matter how much of a rat goof they are.

That is to say, if they call the police, the police would actually be violating your civil rights by doing so AFAIK IANAL

As long as you are calm, collected, rational, and know these things, you.can.not.be.moved.

I once had this encounter at a specific location

The Margaritaville near Clifton Hill in Niagara Falls Ontario.

Most establishments own the sidewalk in that area; its weird and not normal. However. Casino security tipped me off that this particular plot of pavement was public property

I busked there. RHYMES 4 DIMES!

And when he sobbed "Im trying to run a business here buddy" I was like "Ya me too buddy" and then he was all like "doesn't look like one" I was like "You'd be surprised eh"

And then I recieved 5 bucks from a laughing bystander.

Ya r/thathappened

Anyways Id love to blow the place up with Oogles and I know oogles tend to wash up in the party casino town they have fond childhood memories in.....

(Bevause I dont want to be another trans person making us look bad over there)

The conversation was as follows:

Be professional!

Grow a pair

....

Of broader shoulders

Oh we dont want to get HR involved do we?

The union?

What about business needs CARRIE

If that is your *real* name

___

So it would seem the gay management gentleman Ive been watching my own mouth around has made a faux pas

He was being a silly goose and mispoke

A pair of broader shoulders you say huh?

*bE a MaN*?

ITS FAM

Gender nuetral you nincompoop!

And I know im probably holding back your rights twenty years or something by crossing the road the wrong way but Im about to do something really fucking stupid if you dont shut your fucking mouth next time

Im making everyone in the workplace use **no** pronouns for me; and they are going to have to get really creative with their language when referring to me in front of me or else thats a write up.

Dont make me place the workplace pronoun hostage

It seems like a uniquely houseless problem to me guys.....