u/ComfortableSpot6760

4 mo only falls asleep rocking or breastfeeding… then I put him on my chest. Then in the middle of the night I’ll be lucky if he stays asleep if I put him next to me in the safe sleep co-sleeping position.

I am so exhausted. Most of the time my body feels like it could collapse. I haven’t had more than 4 hours consecutive sleep since he was born!! And the 4 hours were weeks ago… recently it’s been every hour waking up as he just wants to suck my boob for comfort (not even for milk at night!)… he will suck for maybe 2 mins and then I can go back to sleep but it’s still waking me up!

I’m torn between practising cot sleep (not sleep training) just putting him in and being there when he cries but then he might not get any sleep in the night? And I might not get any either? So I’m terrified. I want to ensure he gets enough sleep for his development so I just go with whatever works best for him. He’s only a baby! There’s no reasoning with him. I can’t say ‘ baby please go to your own cot now’! He’s not got a clue.

The pros at the mo is that I don’t have to physically get out of bed. Getting out of bed every hour would be awful. But I’m not getting deep sleep because he’s on my chest and also because he wants so suckle every hour. Side lying is hurting my hips too.

I guess I have Mum guilt - I’ve tried to transfer a couple times before his night sleep but he wakes up instantly and looks confused.

What is the best course of action here without causing him sleep deprivation ?

4 month baby here and been co-sleeping due to LO always hating the crib / bassinet. We try a transfer sometimes and be wakes up immediately.

But for the past 3 months (post newborn stage)… I can’t get out of bed to go to the bathroom. I can’t even have a glass of water… he falls asleep on my chest and then i move him next to me but i am just terrified to move because then the mattress moves and he might wake up and then it might take ages to resettle him. I’m so scared of waking him up because I’m so scared of becoming chronically sleep deprived (I mean, I already am but even worse!).

I’m sure he’s going through regression. He wakes up for a suckle of breast every 45 mins but of course as we co-sleep it’s not as exhausting getting OUT of bed but it’s still damn tiring. I do actually get to drink water if he’s sucking because it’s less disruptive.

The sacrifices we make for baby!

Also… anyone able to just roll away from their baby after there asleep once they start going to sleep for the night earlier? He currently goes to bed when we do (9:30) after husband gets home and eats but I’m worried this is too late but as we co-sleep and he just WON’T sleep without us there’s not really another option

Since birth, LO only sleeps on my chest. He can fall asleep via rocking (usually for naps) and at bed time it’s BF to sleep … if he’s struggling it’s a combo of both to ‘reset’ him. But when we transfer him to the sidebar crib he wakes up, cries and I feel awful so cosleeping ensures everybody is happy.

He’s 16 weeks (nearly 4 months exactly) and he’s not had a stretch longer than 4 hours without stirring. The 4 hours happened maybe weeks ago and it’s maybe only happened twice. The norm is a first stretch of continuous sleep for 2 hours - then he turns his head around like 4 times and stirs … he doesn’t cry. Before intervening I pat his back but then he makes a little noise so i just stick him on the boob. But most of the time at light it’s just a tiny flutter suck… I guess it’s mostly for comfort. Anyway after the first stretch, it’s then every hour or 1.5 hours of the same thing. I’m the very early morning he will actually eat because he pukes a little so I know it’s still normal to have some feeds in the night.

I’m also just wanting to maybe get him to sleep next to me rather than on me. I’m assuming he might need an earlier bed time at some point but it’ll mean me confining to ned at 7pm? Well, my husband doesn’t get home until 7pm and it would be nice to eat dinner together without forcing the baby awake if he’s overtired. Will there be a time I can sneak away or the kitchen?

I guess I’m feeling overwhelmed with the logistics of it all and although cosleeping is great for him and me, this might be a bit OTT with the nightly stirring… maybe this is something I’ve caused (I know you can’t spoil a baby) but equally I’m so scared of him crying at night to protect our sleep I just JUMP in to save any potential escalation

- this was before any potential sleep regression: I’m not sure he can regress much more although do notice he’s fighting naps much harder so we are potentially going though one which might be way I haven’t seen a 4 hr stretch.

I constantly see online about babies doing 5+ hour stretches in their own crib too!! I can’t even get a 3 hour stretch and he is literally as close as he can be.

We’ve co slept with our LO since birth because he screamed whenever being put down in the bassinet. It was when he was awake too that he hated it for ages so we thought it was reflux but now he happily lies on his back when he’s awake, just always wakes upon transfer.

I value his sleep and think it’s important so to avoid any spike in cortisol I just immediately pick him up and be contact naps with me in the day and sleeps on me at night.

The ‘downside’ to this is they me and my husband never cuddle anymore. We used to nestle into each other every single night. You can forget about sex! We’ve had sex 3 times since his birth, twice when he was awake in playmat and once when I managed to roll away from him at night but it was such an ordeal which takes the ‘sexiness’ out of things (I’m Bf which probably doesn’t help)

I ‘miss’ my husband even though I see him everyday. We talk to each other, a peck on the lips when he’s home but I just miss him. I miss what we were. I think I was so naive in thinking that my baby would go down in his cot for naps and at night so that me and my husband could spend time as a couple. Hilarious I thought that!

I envisage one day an evening of watching TV on the sofa cuddled up. But this can’t even happen because of the co-sleeping. At the moment, husband is home at 7 from work. Baby is fussy, bath, bed. I’m in bed at 8:30 becsuse of the co-sleeping. I wonder when he gets older whether he’ll be less sensitive and I can roll away more easily?

Or once he’s old enough to be in his own nursery… I can practice putting him in the cot… not necessarily sleep training but just exposure practise.

If you ended co-sleeping… was it worth the closeness with your husband or did you end up missing your little baba with you?

I do often embrace this new form of chaotic family life, this IS part of expanding a family. But I do miss my husband and we just feel like roommates. Is this normal regardless of sleeping arrangements?

LO is approaching 16 weeks and recently in the day when nap time approaches… as soon as I start to rock him he SCREAMS Shrieks. My ear hurts this afternoon because of 30 mins of inconsolable crying. I offer him the boob to give him a chance to fall asleep there. He feeds but starts rubbing his eyes. OK still tired, rock again. Shrieks. I’ve had to take him out in the car for his naps today but they’ve only lasted 15 mins. I did a pram nap too which is completely unheard of because prior to this he only liked to contact nap.

At night he has also been waking up every 45 mins- 1 hr after a fresh stretch of 2 hours just to suckle for comfort. He usually does just suckle for comfort but not every hour. It used to vary from every hour to 2.5-3 hours.

Hoping it’s just a phase but at this point the way he’s shrieking when I’m rocking and sssshhing him, you’d think I just left him in his cot to cry! Idek if I’m soothing him anymore :(

I adore my 3.5 month old but I feel like a terrible ‘SAHM’ when my husband is doing most of the deep cleaning at the weekend. He doesn’t mind at all but I’m embarrassed that I’m not even working and things aren’t that clean. I genuinely don’t have the time. My baby is a Velcro baby… he stands maybe 10-15 mins in his bouncer at a time and I’m usually eating breakfast or talking to him. Same with his playmat - very short attention span. And when I do decide to quickly hoover in the 10 minutes he cries and I feel like a bad mum because interacting with him is obviously more important

I load the dishwasher and antibac the surfaces and can maybe do a quick hoover of the kitchen. On the surface things look clean but I know that I haven’t got into the nooks and cranny’s of the bathroom or cleaned the glass on the microwave mirror…. All things I did before I was heavily pregnant.

It probably doesn’t help that we’re still getting weekend visitors to see the baby so I feel like everything need to be spotless

When did you feel you had enough time to keep into of everything? When he goes to school?!? I want another baby too so it will probably be a few more years before the house feels clean before pre-baby times.

I know contact naps are normal but at the mo it really is a case of rocking / breastfeeding and then I literally lie down in bed with him in my chest for 4 naps a day and all night.

We got into this habit when he was a newborn because he just loved it and didn’t like his sidecar crib or bassinet so we rolled with it. I have since occasionally tried transferring him, he wakes up and cries and then I just feel like his cortisol levels will rise and worry it will then be harder to settle him so I’ll admit I’m just scared / reluctant to put him down into the crib… which is crazy because how is he going to learn if I don’t practise? I’m just worried of accidentally sleep depriving him (and myself!)

Does anyone have any tips please? I’m mindful that as he gets older, an earlier ‘bed time’ will be needed?? Is be this true? Atm he goes to bed with us because obviously he doesn’t lie down anywhere other than my chest. Once earlier bedtime becomes a thing, I won’t be able to have dinner or wait for my husband to come home (he’s home at 7:00, we eat, bathe baby and then bed) .

I dont mind helping him fall asleep at all, that’s never an issue. I guess it’s becoming a tad isolating the chest naps and the chest sleep… he has a baby bjorn carrier and he’s too aware of the environment to nap in it now…

I’m 27 and I remember at least since 2012, social media having horrifically damaging and dark elements. Or just, the internet in general. I remember having BBM, and although I thought it was great at the time to message friends, people’s pins were circulated like crazy to random people from other schools, people abusing the platform for ‘pictures’ (mainly teenage boys). The same with twitter (excuse me, ‘X’)… random people would DM via there too for dark things…

Not to mention Omegle?? Thank god, I think that’s banned now but why were there no age restrictions in place then? Sure, now I’m older I’d never go on a site like that but as a teenager who had multiple sleepovers with friends we’d find it highly amusing chatting to random people until the camera would show someone’s nether regions…. How is something like that not censored???

Skype too! I remember teenage boys from school abusing that as well and now no one gives Skype a second thought unless it’s for conference calls. Of course, a lot of it is down to age and a lot of it is just hormonal teenagers but I don’t think the dangers of social media is new with Snapchat or TikTok or whatever other new platforms there are. I think it’s always been bad, I remember a girl at school being bullied because a nude got leaked. Snapchat’s been around for ages, at least since I was in year 9 and it was even more awful then with being able to see who’s peoples frequently snap chatted were!

I was listening to radio 4 and how phones are put into a pouch at school and confiscated but back in 2012 our phones weren’t allowed in my school either. There aren’t handed in at the beginning of the day but we all knew they were banned and if we were caught with our phone it was confiscated so again, this isn’t a new thing?

So, why has it taken soooo long to propose a ban, when frankly it’s been seen as negative for at least 15 years?

My LO is nearly 13 weeks and they don’t sleep in their sidecar cot. As a newborn they hated it, so to ensure he got enough sleep as did we, he falls asleep on my chest. We do this safely but he’s getting so big it’s unsustainable. I’m exhausted because I’m never in a deep sleep and he’s getting very wriggly now.

The benefits are that I hardly have to get up to feed him in the night but it’s physically exhausting. Same goes for day naps - he’ll only lie on my chest when I’m lying down in bed and I’d argue this is tricky because this is 3/4 times a day of 45 mins - 1 hour naps. When I had a friend round I literally had to go upstairs every hour to rock him then lie down and of course he’s sensitive to noise so she couldn’t even come up and speak to me.

I have a baby bjorn carrier and he no longer sleeps in it as he did when he was younger as he’s more distracted by everything .

I love him so much and I feel bad about finding this too much but surely if I had a toddler or another child , going upstairs to lie down wouldn’t be feasible?

So how can I break this habit? I’m scared to put him in the cot in case he gets harder to resettle and scared he won’t get enough sleep for development.

I know he’s too young to sleep train and tbh I don’t even know if it’s for me yet but what can I do to help him go in his cot even for one nap?! He did it ONCE for 40 mins and I’ve since tried doing exactly what I did and he just wakes up and looks terrified that I’ve left him.

My parents generation all think I’m nuts and think it’s completely fine to let him cry(which I will not do because i hate hearing him cry) I mean fundamentally I’m sure it is as it seems they all did that with us and I’m developmentally OK but right now I’m wondering if there are any gentle techniques until he’s a bit older to get him to accept his cot… for even 1 nap!

LO is approaching 12 weeks and he generally has a consistent nap routine… about every 1 hr -90 mins. I try my best and follow his cues and start swaying / walking around the room before he gets cranky but sometimes he gets cranky whilst I’m walking him and then I wonder if I’m trying to get him down too soon which is making it a longer process than needs to be.

It’s 4 times a day and it’s exhausting. I could be walking him round for 30 mins? Is this normal? I’m a FTM so this might be standard but it seems excessive because most of my day is getting him to nap, and then he contact naps so at least I get to lie down. But then in his wake windows I feel guilty about grabbing food or getting some chores done because I feel like I need to be constantly interacting (although I do just narrate what I’m doing) and he will just go on his playmat for 10 mins sometimes.

As he gets older does the process of getting him down become easier? If I have to go out he might sleep in the car after 20 mins of screaming but generally he doesn’t sleep anywhere other than me… I thought it gets easier after 4th trimester!

If anyone has applied for their child’s passport recently, did you send yours or your husbands birth certificate as well as your child’s? Or just your child’s certificate?! It asked for all our passport details, issue date etc and I’m unclear whether we only need to send birth certificate if we were not originally UK citizens

I know you can’t over spoil a baby and I’ve read lots of threads where parents are saying their baby only contact naps too but I’m wondering is my degree of contact napping normal and is there a way to make my life even just a touch easier without upsetting LO?

11 week old sleeps on my chest 4-5 times a day. I will hold him upright on my chest for about 15-20 mins walking him round my dim room to get him to sleep. Then I lie down and he’ll sleep anywhere from 20 mins to 2 hours. Is this normal?! He no longer likes his baby bjorn carrier (he used to nap there and I could do some chores or go on a walk) but I think it’s too stimulating now.
So now I’m glued to my bed most of the day in darkness because that’s what helps him nap…. Sure, in hjs wake windows I quickly chop up beg for dinner and narrate stuff to him and I do still pop to the shops in wake windows but he usually ends up incredibly grumpy. He HATES his car seat which seems like he’s in a minority because usually babies love them. Sometimes he will scream hysterically the entire journey, other times he can sleep but will scream as soon as car stops at a red light etc.

Maybe I’m selfish for seeing this as a problem, but I feel like I can’t plan to go out because I’ve become obsessed at ensuring he gets his naps to ensure good development. He does sleep 9-11 hours at night though (with a few dream feeds but generally he stays asleep the entire night… even if I don’t!)

My neighbour invited me for lunch today and it means he might miss a couple naps because we live rurally so takes 20 mins to get anywhere and as he only contact naps I can’t even get him to sleep in his pram?? So then I feel guilty about leaving the house if he starts to fuss. Should I persevere and just stick him in the pram and rock him? Maybe I’m too scared and need to get him exposed to other ways of sleeping but I get scared it won’t work and then he’s overtired

BUT he also sleeps on my chest all night… we try transferring him to his side car bed but he usually wakes him up with the reflex. I’m wondering do sleeping sacks help?! Our room gets warm though. Again, another hurdle because he’s starting to go to bed earlier but of course that means I’ve got to be laid like a plank in bed

The cuddles are great and deep down the neediness from this little boy melts my heart but is this unsustainable?! I wonder if he will grow out of it in a few weeks? But I read sometimes babies can be like this until 18 months!

I’m probably being so cautious but before pregnancy I’d always get my nails done… I think it was biosculpture paint OR I would just get a manicure with normal polish…. I’ve a wedding to go to and it would be quite nice to spend an hour getting my nails done while my husband is on leave.

I’m worried about a few things:

1. Is it bad for the baby when you handle them? I know it’ll be dry so probably not

2. If I get biosculpture is the UV light somehow bad for breast milk?! I know there’s probably more risk to my skin

3. Is it safer to get normal polish? But that actually does smell of chemicals sometimes even when dry

I’m probably overthinking this…

I say ‘for the night’ loosely for obvious reasons but Google says that by ~3 months babies have an earlier ‘bedtime’ of 7:30…. But this seems almost impossible for us.

For staters, our 11 week old only contact sleeps. Literally on our chest day and night (we’re very safe about it). Secondly, my husband doesn’t get home from work until 7-7:30 so after 7:30 we have dinner (sometimes I will eat on my own beforehand to make things easier when he gets home)… then I will shower while he holds baby , then recently I’ve been trying to ‘create a routine’ by bathing him… usually at 8:30. Then of course because he only contact sleeps I’m in bed by 9:00 and he breastfeeds to sleep and stays mostly asleep until 8:00. But I’m still awake every 45 mins to an hour as he stirs to comfort suck so it’s not as pleasant as it seems but he technically does rest a lot at night.

Anyway, do I need to adjust our schedule for an earlier bedtime? I guess if we got him into his bedside crib to sleep then first stretch would solve the issue as then we can eat dinner and watch him via baby monitor…

Thankfully I don’t have social media so I’m not getting worked up by perfect routines but if the baby needs an earlier bedtime for brain development then of course I will adjust my eating habits and be in bed by 7:30…. it doesn’t seem sustainable so wondered what other people do?!

I am petrified of them - I think it’s because I know they carry diseases (or at least the fleas on them do), their tails, and where they travel to (drains, unhygienic places etc!)

We have a cat and overtime she’s made my fear even worse because she brings dead ones in twice a night most nights; granted we’ve recently moved to a farm. My husband tried to reassure me and tells me these mice are ‘cleaner’ than city mice?? I’m actually thinking they might just already be in the house and she’s killing them as she sees them which is even worse than her just bringing them back. I’ve just stepped out onto my landing and there were three mouse (or maybe rat!!!!) droppings that looked fresh. So they must be coming in from somewhere. I’m having a complete meltdown. What if they are in the kitchen cupboards contaminating my food?! We are very clean but now I’m worried not clean enough! We’ve recently moved so we have some cardboard in corners of the lounge etc and now I’m panicked that it’s attracted them!

We live in a converted barn but it’s modern so I’m surprised that there would be any major entry points (I know they can fit into really small gaps… again this accentuates my fear!) but to poo in the middle of the landing isn’t really surreptitious behaviour you’d expect? Which must mean it’s just running around in open spaces! What if it sees me and climbs up my leg??? In our old house the cat brought in a live one and it RAN UP THE CURTAIN?!?

I have a 2 month old baby too and I’m worried the house is now contaminated with hantavirus. There is stained blood from mice on our carpet from the cat (we’ve ordered a VaX so I’m hoping this removes) but it’s all too much?!? This isn’t some postpartum anxiety either… I was like this way before my baby. It’s a genuine phobia. I’ve said to my husband maybe sleep should get rid of the cat… but he’s right, if there is a mouse in the house then surely it’s more reassuring knowing she can kill them? I’ve confined myself to my room today with baby because of those droppings and ultimately I feel like a terrible mum because I should be interacting with him downstairs in daylight but I’m too scared a mouse will run out at us! I can’t go on like this otherwise he will then have my phobia of mice (mine probably came from my mum)… so I need to man up!!

How can I change my mindset?? I think my two main fears is the diseases they or their fleas carry. Their horrible tails, and where they travel to (ie drain pipes etc)… obviously this recent hantavirus outbreak hasn’t helped!

Admittedly LO is slightly easier than he was a few weeks ago but it’s presenting new challenges. He will thankfully tolerate being laid down on his activity gym / or sat in bouncer buying me 10-15 mins (before he would have a meltdown).

The thing I’m really struggling with is the naps and the sleeping…. he only falls asleep when being held upright against my chest and it means I’ve got to walk around 10-20 mins. Then he doesn’t transfer into his crib. I’ve had a 40% success rate so we just end up sleeping on my chest which is very cute and I am cherishing it but it means nothing gets done around the house in the day. Doing that for 4-5 naps a day is exhausting. On top of breastfeeding which is still every hour… then after he’s done he screams until he throws up which is constantly flowing into the carpet (got him checked out at the drs for this and they said if it’s not projectile it’s pretty much normal).

He doesn’t sleep in his side crib at night either… in fact he only tolerates the chest there too! When I put him next to me like the lullaby trusts advice… he wakes up and thinks it’s time to party at 3am… he doesn’t do this when he’s on my chest.

Is this normal?! I feel awful complaining about it… I feel like an awful Mum for feeling this is a tad too much… my husband helps the best he can in the evenings and on weekends. It’s made me wonder whether introducing an expressed bottle now and then would give me a break? Because my back is also aching from the walking around with him all the time and the breastfeeding…

Is there a way of getting him to sleep without this walking around?! He does breastfeed to sleep a couple of times too which is easier but the transfers are hard and I know it’s biologically normal and I’m wondering when he might be old enough to tolerate the transfer more??

My MIL is a very strange, regardless of being MIL. For context, well before my husband and I married and had a baby, whenever we saw her on the weekend she would jump up at my husband cling onto him and say ‘you don’t love mummy anymore’ (whether this be because he just didn’t contact her enough etc). She completely smothers him. One Mother’s Day she text him asking if ‘he could have a sleepover’ at mummys… separate to this, she’s incredibly vulgar and seems to only talk about farts… she once lit her fart in front of me?! She’s truly insane. On a darker note, I recently I recently found out from husbands aunty that before her with my husbands dad, she would physically assault him and when he tried to hold her hands to stop her she would call my husband from downstairs and say ‘look at what daddy’s doing to mummy’ … she’s incredibly manipulative. My husbands family have said I should hope she doesn’t move up heee because my child will no longer be my child. Lo and behold she wants to move up here and I’m petrified.

Anyway, now we have a baby. We’ve moved 5 hours away (thankfully) but after she stayed for 10 days when he was 3 weeks old (which was so exhausting) she keeps asking for a used BIB with sick on it so she can smell it?! Because she loves the milk smell??? Which I get, baby breath is great. BUT when we’ve had aunties and uncles and my parents come up and visit at the weekend she’s also been asking THEM to see if they can get the bib from me and they’ve told me it’s strange. She constantly demands ‘pic of the day’ and I’m very proud of LO and will send one without being asked everyday but it’s the fact she messages constantly. She sends us baby clothes and then asks us whether it’s the one she bought in the picture, when she knows it’s not but it’s as if to catch me out. I’m very polite so I always reply to her but I need to somehow phase it out… for my own mental health.

she is exhausting and I can hardly have an intellectual or normal convo with her. This time I’ve suggested only a week stay (as opposed to 10 days)…. I’m sure she’ll be offended but I think I’m being generous with a week…

My husband and I are like room mates now. He’s at work 7-7 and as soon as he comes home I’m desperate to pass him our LO so I can shower and do a household chore. Then we take turns to eat (our 9 week old will only tolerate being held), take turns to shower and then we’re in bed co-sleeping with baba.

Of course we still manage to tell each other we love each other and we manage a kiss and a hug when he gets through the door but that’s about it. Everyone told me our relationship would be like ‘night and day’ in comparison to pre-baby but I hadn’t realised how much! I very naively assumed our baby would ‘fit in’ to our routine… how naive!

We’ve had sex once post partum and that was a miracle only because our baby went for a nap in his crib for 40 mins. That was a fluke because he doesn’t sleep in his cot etc and usually cries. But it was so nice to be intimate and who knows when we will get that opportunity again!

So I guess what I’m asking is - how long did it take for you and your other half to be more of a ‘couple’ again? When can you enjoy even just an hour or 2 in the evening watching tv together?! Because we’ve tried that and our LO will be breastfeeding and fussing at the breast throughout a tv show. I EBF which maybe makes things a tad harder and all our family live far away. I don’t want to go out to racy restaurants… I just wonder when the baby will maybe be able to nap on his own for a couple hours in the evening… or will this not happen until he’s 4/5?!

I feel so guilty worrying about this because I love our baby so much and a bit of intimacy isn’t important in the grand scheme of things… but me and my husband miss each other!

Our LO never slept in his crib which is a snuzpod that literally comes up to our bed. He will cry about 5 mins after transfer. In fact, he only sleeps on our chest, either falling asleep on the boob or whilst rocking him against my chest upright. He will sometimes tolerate sleeping next to us in the bed but even tho the crib is so close he still cries

He’s getting chunky and it is becoming impractical and worried if we don’t start breaking the habit now, it’ll be harder to do so later. We are of course not getting deep sleeps as we are so in tune with holding him safely. Both day and night he loves to be held. I know this is biologically normal in the third trimester but wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing and has any tips??

We’ve warm the bed, swaddled, white noise. Transfers are successful but he wakes himself with the reflex. I’m soaking up the cuddles and know this will not be forever. I think reflux is also at play.

Is it too late to break out of the habit?? I feel bad complaining because we actually get a decent amount of sleep with him in bed as I only have to feed him for 5 mins and then he’s out like a light again