u/ComfortableSpot6760

I’m probably being so cautious but before pregnancy I’d always get my nails done… I think it was biosculpture paint OR I would just get a manicure with normal polish…. I’ve a wedding to go to and it would be quite nice to spend an hour getting my nails done while my husband is on leave.

I’m worried about a few things:

1. Is it bad for the baby when you handle them? I know it’ll be dry so probably not

2. If I get biosculpture is the UV light somehow bad for breast milk?! I know there’s probably more risk to my skin

3. Is it safer to get normal polish? But that actually does smell of chemicals sometimes even when dry

I’m probably overthinking this…

I say ‘for the night’ loosely for obvious reasons but Google says that by ~3 months babies have an earlier ‘bedtime’ of 7:30…. But this seems almost impossible for us.

For staters, our 11 week old only contact sleeps. Literally on our chest day and night (we’re very safe about it). Secondly, my husband doesn’t get home from work until 7-7:30 so after 7:30 we have dinner (sometimes I will eat on my own beforehand to make things easier when he gets home)… then I will shower while he holds baby , then recently I’ve been trying to ‘create a routine’ by bathing him… usually at 8:30. Then of course because he only contact sleeps I’m in bed by 9:00 and he breastfeeds to sleep and stays mostly asleep until 8:00. But I’m still awake every 45 mins to an hour as he stirs to comfort suck so it’s not as pleasant as it seems but he technically does rest a lot at night.

Anyway, do I need to adjust our schedule for an earlier bedtime? I guess if we got him into his bedside crib to sleep then first stretch would solve the issue as then we can eat dinner and watch him via baby monitor…

Thankfully I don’t have social media so I’m not getting worked up by perfect routines but if the baby needs an earlier bedtime for brain development then of course I will adjust my eating habits and be in bed by 7:30…. it doesn’t seem sustainable so wondered what other people do?!

I am petrified of them - I think it’s because I know they carry diseases (or at least the fleas on them do), their tails, and where they travel to (drains, unhygienic places etc!)

We have a cat and overtime she’s made my fear even worse because she brings dead ones in twice a night most nights; granted we’ve recently moved to a farm. My husband tried to reassure me and tells me these mice are ‘cleaner’ than city mice?? I’m actually thinking they might just already be in the house and she’s killing them as she sees them which is even worse than her just bringing them back. I’ve just stepped out onto my landing and there were three mouse (or maybe rat!!!!) droppings that looked fresh. So they must be coming in from somewhere. I’m having a complete meltdown. What if they are in the kitchen cupboards contaminating my food?! We are very clean but now I’m worried not clean enough! We’ve recently moved so we have some cardboard in corners of the lounge etc and now I’m panicked that it’s attracted them!

We live in a converted barn but it’s modern so I’m surprised that there would be any major entry points (I know they can fit into really small gaps… again this accentuates my fear!) but to poo in the middle of the landing isn’t really surreptitious behaviour you’d expect? Which must mean it’s just running around in open spaces! What if it sees me and climbs up my leg??? In our old house the cat brought in a live one and it RAN UP THE CURTAIN?!?

I have a 2 month old baby too and I’m worried the house is now contaminated with hantavirus. There is stained blood from mice on our carpet from the cat (we’ve ordered a VaX so I’m hoping this removes) but it’s all too much?!? This isn’t some postpartum anxiety either… I was like this way before my baby. It’s a genuine phobia. I’ve said to my husband maybe sleep should get rid of the cat… but he’s right, if there is a mouse in the house then surely it’s more reassuring knowing she can kill them? I’ve confined myself to my room today with baby because of those droppings and ultimately I feel like a terrible mum because I should be interacting with him downstairs in daylight but I’m too scared a mouse will run out at us! I can’t go on like this otherwise he will then have my phobia of mice (mine probably came from my mum)… so I need to man up!!

How can I change my mindset?? I think my two main fears is the diseases they or their fleas carry. Their horrible tails, and where they travel to (ie drain pipes etc)… obviously this recent hantavirus outbreak hasn’t helped!

Admittedly LO is slightly easier than he was a few weeks ago but it’s presenting new challenges. He will thankfully tolerate being laid down on his activity gym / or sat in bouncer buying me 10-15 mins (before he would have a meltdown).

The thing I’m really struggling with is the naps and the sleeping…. he only falls asleep when being held upright against my chest and it means I’ve got to walk around 10-20 mins. Then he doesn’t transfer into his crib. I’ve had a 40% success rate so we just end up sleeping on my chest which is very cute and I am cherishing it but it means nothing gets done around the house in the day. Doing that for 4-5 naps a day is exhausting. On top of breastfeeding which is still every hour… then after he’s done he screams until he throws up which is constantly flowing into the carpet (got him checked out at the drs for this and they said if it’s not projectile it’s pretty much normal).

He doesn’t sleep in his side crib at night either… in fact he only tolerates the chest there too! When I put him next to me like the lullaby trusts advice… he wakes up and thinks it’s time to party at 3am… he doesn’t do this when he’s on my chest.

Is this normal?! I feel awful complaining about it… I feel like an awful Mum for feeling this is a tad too much… my husband helps the best he can in the evenings and on weekends. It’s made me wonder whether introducing an expressed bottle now and then would give me a break? Because my back is also aching from the walking around with him all the time and the breastfeeding…

Is there a way of getting him to sleep without this walking around?! He does breastfeed to sleep a couple of times too which is easier but the transfers are hard and I know it’s biologically normal and I’m wondering when he might be old enough to tolerate the transfer more??

My MIL is a very strange, regardless of being MIL. For context, well before my husband and I married and had a baby, whenever we saw her on the weekend she would jump up at my husband cling onto him and say ‘you don’t love mummy anymore’ (whether this be because he just didn’t contact her enough etc). She completely smothers him. One Mother’s Day she text him asking if ‘he could have a sleepover’ at mummys… separate to this, she’s incredibly vulgar and seems to only talk about farts… she once lit her fart in front of me?! She’s truly insane. On a darker note, I recently I recently found out from husbands aunty that before her with my husbands dad, she would physically assault him and when he tried to hold her hands to stop her she would call my husband from downstairs and say ‘look at what daddy’s doing to mummy’ … she’s incredibly manipulative. My husbands family have said I should hope she doesn’t move up heee because my child will no longer be my child. Lo and behold she wants to move up here and I’m petrified.

Anyway, now we have a baby. We’ve moved 5 hours away (thankfully) but after she stayed for 10 days when he was 3 weeks old (which was so exhausting) she keeps asking for a used BIB with sick on it so she can smell it?! Because she loves the milk smell??? Which I get, baby breath is great. BUT when we’ve had aunties and uncles and my parents come up and visit at the weekend she’s also been asking THEM to see if they can get the bib from me and they’ve told me it’s strange. She constantly demands ‘pic of the day’ and I’m very proud of LO and will send one without being asked everyday but it’s the fact she messages constantly. She sends us baby clothes and then asks us whether it’s the one she bought in the picture, when she knows it’s not but it’s as if to catch me out. I’m very polite so I always reply to her but I need to somehow phase it out… for my own mental health.

she is exhausting and I can hardly have an intellectual or normal convo with her. This time I’ve suggested only a week stay (as opposed to 10 days)…. I’m sure she’ll be offended but I think I’m being generous with a week…

My husband and I are like room mates now. He’s at work 7-7 and as soon as he comes home I’m desperate to pass him our LO so I can shower and do a household chore. Then we take turns to eat (our 9 week old will only tolerate being held), take turns to shower and then we’re in bed co-sleeping with baba.

Of course we still manage to tell each other we love each other and we manage a kiss and a hug when he gets through the door but that’s about it. Everyone told me our relationship would be like ‘night and day’ in comparison to pre-baby but I hadn’t realised how much! I very naively assumed our baby would ‘fit in’ to our routine… how naive!

We’ve had sex once post partum and that was a miracle only because our baby went for a nap in his crib for 40 mins. That was a fluke because he doesn’t sleep in his cot etc and usually cries. But it was so nice to be intimate and who knows when we will get that opportunity again!

So I guess what I’m asking is - how long did it take for you and your other half to be more of a ‘couple’ again? When can you enjoy even just an hour or 2 in the evening watching tv together?! Because we’ve tried that and our LO will be breastfeeding and fussing at the breast throughout a tv show. I EBF which maybe makes things a tad harder and all our family live far away. I don’t want to go out to racy restaurants… I just wonder when the baby will maybe be able to nap on his own for a couple hours in the evening… or will this not happen until he’s 4/5?!

I feel so guilty worrying about this because I love our baby so much and a bit of intimacy isn’t important in the grand scheme of things… but me and my husband miss each other!

Our LO never slept in his crib which is a snuzpod that literally comes up to our bed. He will cry about 5 mins after transfer. In fact, he only sleeps on our chest, either falling asleep on the boob or whilst rocking him against my chest upright. He will sometimes tolerate sleeping next to us in the bed but even tho the crib is so close he still cries

He’s getting chunky and it is becoming impractical and worried if we don’t start breaking the habit now, it’ll be harder to do so later. We are of course not getting deep sleeps as we are so in tune with holding him safely. Both day and night he loves to be held. I know this is biologically normal in the third trimester but wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing and has any tips??

We’ve warm the bed, swaddled, white noise. Transfers are successful but he wakes himself with the reflex. I’m soaking up the cuddles and know this will not be forever. I think reflux is also at play.

Is it too late to break out of the habit?? I feel bad complaining because we actually get a decent amount of sleep with him in bed as I only have to feed him for 5 mins and then he’s out like a light again