I hate myself after recovery…
Dealt with Anorexia for about 12-13 years (I am now 26…)
My family forced me to recover using some uh… shoddy tactics. I went to visit them and prevented me from leaving until I gained weight.
I have been semi recovered for about 2 years and I just hate myself. I went from weighing >!94 lbs!< as a 22 year old to >!143 lbs!< as a 5’6 26 year old.
And all I want is to AT LEAST go back to >!120 lbs!<, the weight I was when I relapsed as an 18 year old.
I used to feel pretty knowing I worked out every day and was lean and skinny…
I’m a trans woman and I honestly feel so uncomfortable, unattractive and not feminine at all…
I want to lose weight but, I also live with my husband and lm unable to track calories or change what I eat without raising questions… I honestly feel like he deserves a skinnier wife.
How do I not hate myself after recovering? I’m so tired of looking like this.