Do many of you guys experience persistent high conflict with the ex-wife postdivorce? She has nonstop anger towards me; I sincerely have moved on and I want no part of her. Now she is trying to alter the parenting agreement on nonsense allegations and I do not even have 50-50 custody. Obviously, I plan on fighting it.
Has anyone used Vasiliki Filippakos as their attorney for a custody case? If so, how was she?
I have been dating this woman for over a year now, I have three kids and she has two. We both live separately, she initially was thinking about blending the families, and I said that I am not interested in doing that. Most recently, we went on vacation together without children, and she initiated a conversation about the future again. I made very clear that I will not be blending in families and living together, not sure what’s gonna happen when my youngest goes to college. She then proceeds to tell me that she wants to live together at some point and this will not work out for her if I don’t change my thought process.
Now here’s the other wrinkle the story: I find her somewhat difficult to deal with at times. Also, there’s a big financial gap between us. There’s no way this lady could live by herself down the road financially and she wants to retire early! I know what she has in the bank and I know what she spends per month, the math does not make sense. I’m very financially successful and independent. Even when we came back from vacation, it was a 75/25% split when it was all set and done on expenses. I told her point blank I will never get married again after going through a divorce and losing a lot. She knows my stance on that, but I feel that her workaround is living together, which means that I would be paying a lot of the expenses (or she would anticipate tha), and I would feel like a sugar daddy without being married. I wanted to gather the wise men’s opinions on all of this? Honestly, I’m thinking about moving on from her.
Stumbled on a social media post by Awbria Simmons and this is what she wrote on one of her posts that is so powerful:
“When a blindside happens after decades together, your first instinct is to search for excuses. You wonder if it was a midlife crisis, a sudden breakdown, or something you failed to provide atter years of marriage.
But people do not develop the capacity for cold, calculated deceit overnight.
When you see one major betrayal surface, it is rarely the whole story. It is simply the moment the hidden infestation couldn't stay behind the wall any longer. The small red flags you excused years ago suddenly line up, and the truth becomes undeniably clear: this was never about a temporary lapse in judgment. It was a long-standing pattern of character.
As painful as that realization is, it carries a profound relief. It proves, once and for all, that there was nothing you could have done differently to save it. You didn't break them; they were already broken.
Leave the infestation behind. Your life is clean now.”
READ THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
My favorite line: leave the infestation behind. When you see one cockroach on the floor, you don’t have a one bug problem, you have a hidden infestation already. When you look back at everything, you will realize there were a lot of red flags and warning signs, but we simply ignored them because we trusted them. Just know they are broken people and there is nothing you could do to make them happy because they are unhappy themselves.
Stumbled on a social media post by Awbris Simmons and this is what she wrote on one of her posts that is so powerful:
“When a blindside happens after decades together, your first instinct is to search for excuses. You wonder if it was a midlife crisis, a sudden breakdown, or something you failed to provide atter years of marriage.
But people do not develop the capacity for cold, calculated deceit overnight.
When you see one major betrayal surface, it is rarely the whole story. It is simply the moment the hidden infestation couldn't stay behind the wall any longer. The small red flags you excused years ago suddenly line up, and the truth becomes undeniably clear: this was never about a temporary lapse in judgment. It was a long-standing pattern of character.
As painful as that realization is, it carries a profound relief. It proves, once and for all, that there was nothing you could have done differently to save it. You didn't break them; they were already broken.
Leave the infestation behind. Your life is clean now.”
READ THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
My favorite line: leave the infestation behind. When you see one cockroach on the floor, you don’t have a one bug problem, you have a hidden infestation already. When you look back at everything, you will realize there were a lot of red flags and warning signs, but we simply ignored them because we trusted them. Just know they are broken people and there is nothing you could do to make them happy because they are unhappy themselves.
Hi all! I divorced my wife in 2024 after catching her having an affair with an absolute loser, and she still happens to be with him, but the situation is obviously not very good from what I’m hearing through my children. I’ve noticed that she’s become agitated, accusatory to me, trying to cause trouble, all of which I think is she’s projecting her issues . For quite some time, I told her that we are and should be no contact, except for children related functions and any in all communication, communications are limited to a court appointed app.
But yet, she continues to approach my car during transitions, make excuses to break no contact with me, and justifying why there should be contact as it is not in the divorce decree (insane!). She’s made it on a mission to ensure to break no contact, even connecting with a lawyer, as crazy as it seems. This lady won’t go away, she’s like a fruit fly around a fruit lol.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? Looking it up, it seems like this is hoovering from a narcissistic person. Also, I think it’s an ego thing. And by the way, there is absolutely no chance of me ever taking her back! She’s a POS.
I usually go to Stop and Shop off Lake Ave, but that has been a disaster recently. Where are some other places to go that I can return/recycle any bottles/cans?
I bought my car a couple weeks ago, and it has 115,000 miles. Most recently, a low engine oil warning light has been coming on, that’s red. How common is something like this? I checked the engine oil level, and it looks to be in range.
The question is really for people who were in marriages for at least seven or more years. As the title asks, how did your former spouse react when you started dating and saw you dating? Only reason why I’m asking is my kids would likely say something to my ex-wife after they meet my new partner.
Has anyone had to go through this and feel like the AP is in competition with them? The AP has no kids, and I feel he is in constant competition with me. My kids (8, 13, and 14) told me they hate him and my ex-wife plays happy family on social media (I blocked her, but people tell me). It seems like they are creating a curated happy family picture when in reality, my kids don't want to be around, and my son told me he knows what happened. The AP is taking videos of my daughter playing a sport, so freaking bizarre, and acting like he is the dad. He is a toxic person, my ex-wife doesn't see that, and I do not care because it is her problem. I stay calm and talk to other parents the whole time and they see me as being happy, but deep down, I hate them around.
I caught me ex-wife cheating in 2023 and I filed for divorce shortly after. The divorce process itself was terrible she made it so contested and costly, but life is so much better without her. I am genuinely happy and feels so much younger without her in my life. I had my kids this weekend and they opened up how much they hate the AP who is still with my ex-wife, and although I never told them anything about why we got divorced, they know it was because of cheating. One of my kids said the AP destroyed his life, and he hates him, keeps to himself and wants no part of him. They also tell me disturbing things like the AP is controlling, etc. and their mom doesn't "see it". I bet she does and she is trapped now. How have people navigated issues like this? Obviously, I am making a therapist appointment for all my kids. My blood was boiling when I heard this and I was very supportive of them and remained super calm when they told me. I made sure we have the best weekend possible to make them happy, like every time they are with me.
Hi all: I have been dating a woman now for well over 7 months but met her a year and a half ago. A little bit of context, I have 3 children, she has 2 children. Although she is not formally divorced, she has been separated for couple of years.
A few things have now become irritating to me. The first is I get a feeling that she is not grateful for what I do for her. And yes, I am busy between having children and work, but I try to make time whenever I can with her once or twice a week. Most recently, I spent $300 on a beautiful night at the beautiful dinner, and at the end of the night she became irritated because I did not open the door for her when we got home. Started giving me a lot of grief about this. A few weeks ago, I mention to her that any good relationship is easy flowing, like good friends, and should not be a lot of work. I am getting that sense that I am putting a lot of work and there is tension, but she does not understand how difficult she could be. Sometimes I feel like I am walking on eggshells with her.
She would like to introduce the children to each other in the next couple of months, but before that, she is asking to meet with my ex-wife. Of note, my ex-wife cheated and I filed for divorce, I have been divorced for almost 2 years now. I am in low contact with my ex-wife and only contact her regarding children coordination. When I asked my girlfriend about this, she wants to "clear out any differences and meet her to let her know that I will not be placing her as a mother". What are your thoughts on this, especially since I have no relationship with my ex-wife anymore except for children coordination? Honestly, I am now getting a sense that this relationship is essentially dead for me. I am not overly happy with how it is going. I think she has little insight on some of her delivery when she talks to me, most recently I told her that I felt like I was a 5-year-old child being scolded by my mother.
Hi! Does anyone have any recommendations about either doing a leather repair on my car dashboard, specifically dying the letter or removing the entire dashboard to reupholsterer it?
Hi! Does anyone have any recommendations about either doing a leather repair on my car dashboard, specifically dying the letter or removing the entire dashboard to reupholsterer it?
Some observations and thoughts now that I am two plus years after D-day:
- I regret to this day how I played the "pick me dance". I think about it every day and how embarrassing that was and how she probably makes fun of me. I am a very confident man, and I am more confident than ever now and life is so good, but I regret playing the pick me dance.
- Looking at my ex-WW, she has aged so much in the last two years. I thought it was only me thinking this and that it was a psychological defense mechanism, but a bunch of other people have said the same thing independently without even me asking.
- I wish I had not ignored the red flags early on in our relationship. The emotional immaturity and the constant flirting with other men, gaslighting me to think that that was her personality and I had nothing to worry about. Never again.
- I feel life is so much better after divorcing her and unloading the financial and emotional vampire.
Has anyone experienced something similar to these thoughts or observations?