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For those of you focusing on self-care and turning your life around after divorce, like improving your sleep, eating better, exercising, getting sunlight, etc., how did you get yourself to actually do these things consistently?
How do you make yourself go to bed when you intended to, instead of staying up for another two hours? Get up at the time you planned, get outside and get some sunlight, meal prep and consistently eat healthy meals, and go to the gym regularly?

I've been doing some or all of this off and on, and I genuinely want to do these things. But I've had a hard time turning them into regular habits rather than something I do for a while, and then fall out of again. I'm also pretty tired after the past couple of years, which doesn't help, but I think my biggest issues are consistency and follow-through.

For those of you who successfully made this kind of lifestyle change: what made it stick? Did you rely on discipline, routines, accountability, starting very small, some kind of mindset shift, or something else?

I have chronic health and immune system issues, so I mostly interact with people online (as opposed to in person). I take part in online Zoom groups, as well as Zoom meetings with friends. I have a few questions for others in similar situations:

Do you also find that is getting harder to find online groups as well as people to Zoom with? Many groups have gone back to in person formats, and I've also found that some people would rather meet in person. How do you find other people online? What kind of groups do you like, are they local or national, or even international? And are they also Covid cautious?
If this is your way main way of interacting, how do you get enough social contact and connection?

As the title states: where is Gen X? Everyone I see now is a millennial! People working in stores, mail delivery, my doctor, dentist, therapist, podcasters, people I follow social media, neighbors, people I see if I go for a walk, etc. I can run an errand and not see a single person my age (mid 50s). Where is everyone? Are we all working from home so no one is out? Is our generation so small that we got lost among the larger millennial cohort? Am I the only one feeling like this, or has anyone else noticed this too?

My ex-husband and I divorced about a year and a half ago. We don’t have children, but we still jointly own property and have overlapping community ties, so completely cutting contact isn’t realistic.

We were separated for several years before the divorce, and during that time we generally communicated well. We had both agreed that we wanted to remain friendly and treat each other courteously.

Since the divorce became final, however, his behavior toward me has changed dramatically. He can be unexpectedly cold, dismissive, or rude, even when we’re discussing ordinary practical matters. I never know which version of him I’m going to encounter, and sometimes one short message can upset me so much that it derails the rest of my day.

I’m seeing a therapist, but I still haven’t figured out how to stop his tone and unpredictability from affecting me so strongly.

For those who have had to remain in contact with a difficult ex, what actually helped you become less emotionally triggered? Did anything help besides limiting communication or switching to written contact?

Edit: The property arrangement is already legally settled, and I’m not looking for advice about dissolving it or going no-contact. I’m specifically asking how people learned not to be emotionally derailed by an ex’s rude or unpredictable communication when some contact remained necessary.

For those of you living in the states affected by the current wildfire smoke in July 2026, are you masking indoors or only if you go outside? I'm especially curious about those of you who are immunocompromised, have long Covid, or conditions like ME/CFS, etc. Also, what about eye protection?

Where I live, it looks foggy outside, but I don't smell wildfire smoke inside, and my air purifier does not show that high of numbers (currently between one and 27.) But that does not mean that the indoor air is great, and if I'm in a room without air purifier, I get a runny nose and start sneezing.

I only have two small air purifiers, one Levoit 300 and one from IKEA. My furnace filter is MERV 11. I run one air purifier in the room I'm in, and mostly leave the furnace off, because it's actually not dimensioned for MERV 11. My house is fairly airtight, except for the kitchen.

What can I do to improve my depression if it's situational, and the situation is not changing anytime soon?

I cry daily, I'm starting to have panic attacks again, have a hard time sleeping, have lost my appetite, and recently started getting migraines several days a week.

I'd really like this to stop, but I'm so worried about the future. Since I'm also chronically ill, housebound and isolated, I just don't see this working out, since my partner has left. I just can't keep up with things, since at the most I manage to do one thing a day and that's not enough.

I am seeing a therapist, but I don't know what they can do to help.

I'd be grateful for any recommendations.

What would you like people to say to you? This is something I've been thinking about for a while now.

I would love for somebody to say:
- How can I help?
- Is there anything I can do for you?
- Would you like us to have a Zoom call and tell me all about it?
- I hear you, that's an awful and difficult situation. Let us figure out how to resolve this together.

Every so often, rarely really, somebody actually says something nice, and I have found myself surprised. It's to the point that I expect opposition, invalidation, or at the very least a blank look, topic switched, or a non-response.

I'm in a situation where I just don't know what to do anymore. I have chronic fatigue and I got divorced last year. My now ex-husband helped me with most things and has been my only social connection for the past 15 years. Now that he's gone, I quite simply can't pull it together. I pretty much only have energy to do one thing per day, so I'm years behind on tasks and chores.

I'm trying to push myself harder, but the result is that I have cried nonstop for the past several months and it's only getting worse. Normally, I would not be depressed. This is the result of not having practical support or social connections locally. I do have friends in other locations, but they're too far away to help. (And yes, I do see a therapist.)

To make matters even worse, originally my ex-husband promised to keep helping me, but as the divorce was finalized, he not only started dating, but it was also diagnosed with cancer, as was a close family member of mine. My parents are aging, and I'm mourning that too.

To complicate things, I'm also immuno-compromised, and have to be careful so I don't come down with an infection, which makes socializing or reaching out even more difficult.

I'm at my wits' end and just don't know what to do anymore, I just can't make this work. I live in a house packed with things that still need to be organized and cleaned out. I need to catch up on six years of chores. To survive long-term, I really should try to bring in some money. But due to the chronic fatigue, on a normal day, even without depression and stress, I can't get much done.

I'm in a situation where I just don't know what to do anymore. I have chronic fatigue and I got divorced last year. My now ex-husband helped me with most things and has been my only social connection for the past 15 years. Now that he's gone, I quite simply can't pull it together. I pretty much only have energy to do one thing per day, so I'm years behind on tasks and chores.

I'm trying to push myself harder, but the result is that I have cried nonstop for the past several months and it's only getting worse. Normally, I would not be depressed. This is the result of not having practical support or social connections locally. I do have friends in other locations, but they're too far away to help. (And yes, I do see a therapist.)

To make matters even worse, originally my ex-husband promised to keep helping me, but as the divorce was finalized, he not only started dating, but it was also diagnosed with cancer, as was a close family member of mine. My parents are aging, and I'm mourning that too.

To complicate things, I'm also immuno-compromised, and have to be careful so I don't come down with an infection, which makes socializing or reaching out even more difficult.

I'm at my wits' end and just don't know what to do anymore, I just can't make this work. I live in a house packed with things that still need to be organized and cleaned out. I need to catch up on six years of chores. To survive long-term, I really should try to bring in some money. But due to the chronic fatigue, on a normal day, even without depression and stress, I can't get much done.

I'm in a situation where I just don't know what to do anymore. I have chronic fatigue and I got divorced last year. My now ex-husband helped me with most things and has been my only social connection for the past 15 years. Now that he's gone, I quite simply can't pull it together. I pretty much only have energy to do one thing per day, so I'm years behind on tasks and chores.

I'm trying to push myself harder, but the result is that I have cried nonstop for the past several months and it's only getting worse. Normally, I would not be depressed. This is the result of not having practical support or social connections locally. I do have friends in other locations, but they're too far away to help. (And yes, I do see a therapist.)

To make matters even worse, originally my ex-husband promised to keep helping me, but as the divorce was finalized, he not only started dating, but it was also diagnosed with cancer, as was a close family member of mine. My parents are aging, and I'm mourning that too.

To complicate things, I'm also immuno-compromised, and have to be careful so I don't come down with an infection, which makes socializing or reaching out even more difficult.

I'm at my wits' end and just don't know what to do anymore, I just can't make this work. I live in a house packed with things that still need to be organized and cleaned out. I need to catch up on six years of chores. To survive long-term, I really should try to bring in some money. But due to the chronic fatigue, on a normal day, even without depression and stress, I can't get much done.

I'm in a situation where I just don't know what to do anymore. I have chronic fatigue and I got divorced last year. My now ex-husband helped me with most things and has been my only social connection for the past 15 years. Now that he's gone, I quite simply can't pull it together. I pretty much only have energy to do one thing per day, so I'm years behind on tasks and chores.

I'm trying to push myself harder, but the result is that I have cried nonstop for the past several months and it's only getting worse. Normally, I would not be depressed. This is the result of not having practical support or social connections locally. I do have friends in other locations, but they're too far away to help.

To make matters even worse, originally my ex-husband has promised to keep helping me, but as the divorce was finalized, he not only started dating, but it was also diagnosed with cancer,, as was a close family member of mine. My parents are aging, and I'm mourning that too.

To complicate things, I'm also immuno-compromised, and have to be careful so I don't come down with an infection, which makes socializing or reaching out even more difficult.

I'm at my wits' end and just don't know what to do anymore, I just can't make this work. I live in a house packed with things that still need to be organized and cleaned out. I need to catch up on six years of chores. To survive long-term, I really should try to bring in some money. But due to the chronic fatigue, on a normal day, even without depression and stress, I can't get much done.

How do you handle living through tornado warnings, storms, house, problems, health scares, and other potential and actual emergencies when you live alone? Do you have anyone to check in on you, or to reach out to? If you don't, how have you resolved this? Do you have someone arranged to call in an emergency?

I'm just trying to figure out how to make this work, without local connections. Since I have chronic health issues, I won't easily get to know new people, since I don't go anywhere or meet people in person.

Edit: this turned out to be a time to post, as there is both a thunderstorm warning and a tornado watch as I write this…

I have a chronic illness and have been trying to get better at asking for help directly. What I’ve noticed is that people often seem unsure how to respond, even when the request is relatively modest. I’m wondering whether therapists have observed changes in community support, social connectedness, caregiver burnout, or people’s willingness to step in and help over the last decade or two.

I’m curious whether others have noticed this change over the past 10–20 years.

I have a chronic illness and have been working on being more direct about my needs instead of trying to handle everything on my own. Part of that has involved speaking up more, advocating for myself, and occasionally asking friends, acquaintances, or community members for help when I genuinely need it.

What I’ve noticed is that when I share my situation or ask for help, the response is often… nothing. Not necessarily a refusal, but no offer to help, no suggestions, no follow-up questions, and no connection to other resources. It’s almost as if people don’t know how to respond.

My memory is that years ago, if someone mentioned needing a ride to a medical appointment or struggling with a health issue, there was a greater chance that someone would step in, offer practical help, or at least try to connect them with someone who could.

Have others noticed a shift like this, or am I misreading the situation?

I’m wondering whether people today are simply more overwhelmed, isolated, and stretched thin than they used to be, or whether expectations around helping others have changed. I’d be interested in hearing from people on both sides of this, those who have needed help, and those who have been asked for it.

In your clinical experience, how do therapists approach clients who present with multiple overlapping challenges (e.g., chronic illness limiting functioning, isolation, financial stress, and grief after a divorce)?

Is there a general way therapists think about where to begin in cases like this, or is it typically handled in parallel?

I’m especially curious how different modalities might approach prioritization in a situation like this.

Is there one modality that is more suited to handling this kind of situation?

If a client comes to you trying to get over a relationship, but is so depressed they have trouble getting out of bed and start crying as soon as they leave the house, how would you approach that?

What types of grief therapy do you tend to use in situations like this?

If the grief has actually been getting worse over the past year rather than improving, does that change your approach?

Do you typically follow some kind of progression (or phases) in the work, or is it more individualized?

And as a side question: would you consider this grief, trauma, or something else?

I am currently experiencing a severe emotional freeze response and feeling completely overwhelmed, isolated, and disconnected. My physical and emotional energy is at absolute zero right now. I have a regular therapist, but my next appointment isn't for a few days, and I am struggling to cope with the heavy silence between sessions.
What are some immediate, low-energy ways to help my nervous system feel a little bit safe and grounded when everything feels completely empty?

I am currently experiencing a severe emotional freeze response and feeling completely overwhelmed, isolated, and disconnected. My physical and emotional energy is at absolute zero right now. I have a regular therapist, but my next appointment isn't for a few days, and I am struggling to cope with the heavy silence between sessions.
What are some immediate, low-energy ways to help my nervous system feel a little bit safe and grounded when everything feels completely empty?

Over the past several months, my mental health has been getting worse, and I’m now at the point where I often start crying before I can even get out of bed.

To make a long story short, I’m an immigrant with chronic health issues and recently went through a divorce. As a result, I don’t really have friends or a support system in this country, and I feel very lonely and afraid of what would happen if I had a health issue, weather emergency, financial problem, or some other kind of difficulty or disaster.

My ex originally said he would continue helping me because of my chronic health issues, low energy, limited mobility, and practical limitations. Over the past several months, though, he has been stepping back from that promise, and I can’t seem to stop crying about it.

I am seeing a therapist, but I honestly don’t know what anyone can do to help, because I’m so exhausted that I can barely manage much. I’m not working, I’m not sleeping well, and I’ve lost my appetite.

On top of that, I’ve realized that even if I could improve my situation somewhat, I don’t currently see a future that feels meaningful or emotionally safe to move toward.

My main question is: what can someone do to feel better while they’re still inside a difficult situation that is ongoing and may not improve soon?

My other question is: how do people regain hope for the future when they are dealing with political, financial, health, practical, and other difficulties all at once?

I’m not looking for a list of financial or social-service resources right now. I’m more asking how people emotionally cope and regain hope when the situation itself is ongoing and uncertain.