u/Doubt_Killer_Prime

Kindly ignore what I said at the start of the game, it’s not relevant, was just trying to get focused on the game.

Team was inspired from by friend who made a really cool maranga berry garganacl team, I borrowed the garganacl and added in my own favorite combo of non-fake out sneasler and dozo. I’m pretty sure I got luck carried but they were playing baton pass, one of my least favorite matchups to play because I can never tell when to play safe or not, so they kinda deserved it.

Here is the team btw if you are interested in playing it: https://pokepast.es/a09a86ac121fb7d1

https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9doublesou-2653030382-jekqxpm92e5ur4ye4uacvtaq0iou9x1pw

Little bit confused over what I should do regarding choosing which of the professors I should choose as the antagonistic figure of area zero. Personally I’ve played though violet more so I like professor Turo the most of the two, as well as the future versions of the paradox Pokemon, however I don’t want to completely disregard professor Sada, since I like her design a lot. I’ve done my best to keep the story as far away from a specific game, such as referring to Naranja/Uva Academy as Mesagoza Academy, never describing Arven and Nemona by their school uniforms, and replacing the first introduction with the professors in the game with a call from Ms. Briar, as I thought it would be more impactful for Arven to introduce his parents to my mc, rather than director clavell.

Kindly ignore what I said at the start of the game, it’s not relevant.

Team was inspired from by friend who made a really cool maranga berry garganacl team, I borrowed the garganacl and added in my own favorite combo of non-fake out sneasler and dozo. I’m pretty sure I got luck carried but they were playing baton pass, one of my least favorite matchups to play because I can never tell when to play safe or not, so they kinda deserved it.

Here is the team btw if you are interested in playing it: https://pokepast.es/a09a86ac121fb7d1

https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9doublesou-2653030382-jekqxpm92e5ur4ye4uacvtaq0iou9x1pw

Kindly ignore what I said at the start, it’s not relevant.

Team was inspired from by friend who made a really cool maranga berry garganacl team, I borrowed the garganacl and added in my own favorite combo of non-fake out sneasler and dozo. I’m pretty sure I got luck carried but they were playing baton pass, one of my least favorite matchups to play because I can never tell when to play safe or not, so they kinda deserved it.

https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9doublesou-2653030382-jekqxpm92e5ur4ye4uacvtaq0iou9x1pw

I’ve finished planning all of the truth bullets I want for cases 2-4, except for case 1, where the victim, the ultimate cosmologist, is found dead in her room after drinking poisoned tea while stargazing at night. The culprit, the ultimate botanist, is written to be very cowardly, this cowardice takes ahold of him when the motive is revealed. (If you want to know what my motive is, I’ll be happy to tell in the replies/comments).

The murder weapon I have planned was a strong dose of solanine (a toxin found in the eyes of raw potatoes) slipped into the heavy herbal tea, masking the bitter aroma of the solanine. After some time, the botanist heads into the cosmologist’s room with a hammer she found in the ultimate watchmaker’s room, shattering the teacup out of fear of the other students using forensics to find the killer.

My problem with case 1 is that I’m not sure what truth bullets to add besides watchmaker’s account, shattered teacup, or cosmologist’s hand still on the table she was sitting at. (signaling that the teacup was originally on the table after the poisoning, but someone pushed it/shattered it.) I’d appreciate any help with suggestions for truth bullets in this case.

I live pretty close to 2 pharmacies, 3 supermarkets, 4 gas stations, and there is a police station in Glasgow, I think I’m good for short term survival even if a za started in here, but without military, I feel kinda cooked for long-term survival, how would I fare considering I have no weapons but a hammer and a slingshot (a real one that can shoot rocks)? I don’t really have any ideas on what kind of zombies I’ll be dealing with, but I think we’re all gonna be goners if we get 28 days zombies, so let’s just say TWD zombies.

Here is the team: https://pokepast.es/71200b75c3cf9ac2

A lot of people don’t know what maranga berry does and I didn’t either for a long time, but then I watched a vid about a team using the berry and I figured that I can make a team with it. Im pretty new (1350 ish), but I’ve been watching a lot of pinkacross, and I’ve learned some teambuilding stuff, so this team is my first team that has a resist to every type. One thing I’m looking for is more removal, and a toxic spikes absorber, also I haven’t tested this against stall since it’s pretty rare in the 1300s range, so I’d like to know if this is good against stall, since pinkacross keeps bringing it up in his vids.

What it does is raise spdef after taking a hit from any special attack, even if it doesn’t reach 25%. Gargs natural phys bulk makes it a good abuser. It’s on the team to clear late game when there is no need for me to switch out and waste the berry, Tera flying is easily the best Tera for it, I’m pretty sure everyone can agree with that.

Iron treads is my raging bolt and expendable moonblast switch in, since gholdengo is reserved for setup clefable and my removal blocker. Standard set with spin and rocks.

Corviknight is my Lokix switch in, I get that it’s a weird reason to have it on the team, but since I love using Lokix so much, I know how devastating it is. Also, idk if I’m just getting weird matchups, but I’m seeing it a little more often. I don’t see myself ever using Tera on Corviknight unless it is on a fake stall, but Tera dragon is for electric and fire. For the same reason that Corviknight is here for Lokix, if it does ever get ko’d, I’d like for it to take as much power points from fimpression, so that is why I’m using pressure. Standard set otherwise, but since I want to punish Lokix as much as possible for clicking fimpression without thinking, that’s why I’m also running helmet.

Ting-Lu is my main answer to calm mind bolt because of whirlwind. Pretty standard set with Tera poison, not much else to add.

Gholdengo is for basically any fairy type I have to deal with, especially calm mind clefable. I get that choice items are generally great on gholdengo, but with nasty plot and recover, it won’t be able to reliably use them. I’m not really a fan of life orb unless it’s on magic guard, so I decided to use the next best thing which was metal coat, giving me a buff that didn’t restrict my moveset or reduce survivability. Standard Tera fairy for dark resist, even though I prefer Tera water.

Dragapult is here for a water and electric resist that can threaten raging bolt. Plus I’ve never used dragapult before, so I wanted to try it out.

Was just thinking of making an ultimate gamer the mastermind for my fangan story, since the ultimate “gamer” in a “killing game” is just thematic to me, but I’m worried it might be on the nose.

So quick rundown of the relevant characters:

Takashi Noburu - ultimate watchmaker. An apathetic know it all who doesn’t believe in things like trust and friendship, saying they are “timed mechanisms which only prove if they worked if pressure is applied”.

Jess Cassidy - ultimate detective. The protagonist of this story who early on, belives that truth is important, but thinks it shouldn’t be guiding your ideals or decisions.

Choko Fumi: “Everyone! I got, like, super bad news, and I don’t want to yuck your yums or anything, but this is urgent!”

Every conversation in the lounge died at once.

Arata’s grin dropped. Gulliver nearly fumbled the thread and needle he had been holding. Sanori stiffened so hard she looked like someone had pulled an invisible wire through her spine.

Jess Cassidy: “Huh? What happened, Choko?”

Choko’s hands were clenched at her sides, sparks of nervous energy practically vibrating off her.

Choko Fumi: “Takashi won’t leave his room! I rang the doorbell like 100 times, I even checked to see if it worked, and he still doesn’t answer! I’m getting worried that… something happened to him.”

For one second, nobody spoke, after Masako’s death, we all knew what Choko was implying.

Tamiko Kiyo: “Did you check the door? Was it locked? Was there anything on the floor? Blood? Scratches? Anything?”

Choko Fumi: “The door was locked, but I didn’t see blood! But that doesn’t mean there isn’t blood!”

Quincey Yenetl: “Don’t say it like that! I’m still not over Masako and Florian’s deaths! Takashi is fine! He’s… too ignorant to fall for a trap!”

Jess Cassidy: “Quincey, I know it’s not easy, but Takashi could be in danger, we have to at least look for him.”

Toshiro Juro: “Everyone, calm down. We don’t know anything yet.”

Jess Cassidy: “Which means we need to find out before we lose our heads.”

Toshiro looked toward the others, already falling into that irritatingly dependable leader voice.

Toshiro Juro: “We’ll search the areas Takashi usually visits. Stay safe, everyone tells me where they are going to look.”

Goh Haefon, arms crossed as always, frowned deeply.

Goh Haefon: “Aye, I’ll stay here. If the lad comes back, we’ll keep him from wandering off again.”

Norika Kokoro: “I’ll help on lookout. Sorry falconer, but D.J. ‘Rika is gonna take over!”

Quincey Yenetl: “I’ll stay too. Somebody’s gotta keep this place from turning into a panic parade.”

Sadako Aina: “I’ll check if Takashi is still in his room, I’m going to ring that doorbell until it falls off or he answers!”

We split up after that.

I checked the obvious places first.

The workshop. Empty.

The study corner beside the lounge. Abandoned.

Which left one place in my mind. The library.

Takashi favored the library whenever he wasn’t sealed inside his dorm room. He never said he liked it, obviously. That would require admitting preference, and preference was probably “an inefficient emotional mechanism” or whatever joyless phrase he would use.

But he went there often. Too often. I can imagine someone memorized his schedule, just to target him.

So when I reached the library doors and found them closed, the cold feeling in my chest sharpened.

Jess Cassidy: “Takashi? You there?”

No answer.

I gripped the handle.

For a moment, I could hear nothing but the low hum of the lights above me and the pulse in my own ears.

Then I opened the door.

And when I opened the door and looked inside… Panic took ahold of me.

I didn’t know how to describe the sight before me. The silence. The stillness.

The chair tilted at a horrible angle, nodding down, eyes still open, looking down at a book that rested on his lap.

Takashi Noburu…

He was…

Jess Cassidy: “Takashi!”

Takashi Noburu: “Quiet.”

I froze.

Takashi Noburu, the Ultimate Watchmaker, was not dead.
He was sitting in a chair leaned back on two legs. One foot was braced against the edge of the table. A heavy book was open in hi shands, its pages held with the same careful precision he used when handling gears.

He did not look up, he did not flinch. He did not even have the decency to appear mildly embarrassed.

Jess Cassidy: “You’re alive?”

Takashi Noburu: “You say that like I wasn’t supposed to be. Are you here to try to kill me? At least have the decency to let me finish reading.”

Jess Cassidy: “You didn’t answer your door.”

Takashi Noburu: “I was not in my room.”

Jess Cassidy: “Choko said you were inside, but unresponsive.”

Takashi Noburu: “Then she successfully rang the doorbell of an empty room. Probably the biggest intellectual accomplishment she made here. I’d even say biggest intellectual accomplishment she made since she took up livestreaming.”

I stared at him.

He turned a page.

The soft scrape of paper suddenly became the most irritating sound in the entire academy.

Jess Cassidy: “Everyone thinks something happened to you.”

Takashi Noburu: “Something did happen. I found a book with a mislabeled chapter index.”

Jess Cassidy: “Takashi!”

Takashi Noburu: “The numbering skips from twelve to fourteen. There is no chapter thirteen, despite chapter fourteen referencing material that would logically belong to chapter thirteen. It is a defective structure.”

Jess Cassidy: “We thought you died!”

He looked up with pure annoyance on his face.

Takashi Noburu: “That conclusion was premature.”

Jess Cassidy: “You vanished without telling anyone.”

Takashi Noburu: “I am not a public utility. I do not require posted hours.”

Jess Cassidy: “In an elimination game, yes, you do.”

Anyways, the back and fourth continues until my selected FTEs start, more kids join in, and Takashi storms out. Anyways, what do yall think? I kinda like fake-outs, they’re rare yet funny, but I feel like I’m the only one who likes them.

He said that a good thing to start focusing on is getting moxie ability on quaxly, but he didn’t tell me how to. Usually I bring munchlax, quaxly, and ekans (it has intimidate, which my friend said to keep bringing), also got an egg voucher and a jolly mint that my friend told me to use on quaxly, I don’t know what either do though. (I’m not big into Pokémon, just rougelikes)

I’ve been reading a lot of fangans and one thing I’ve noticed is that the masterminds were never hypnotists, so that is why I figured I would try to break that pattern. Of course this is a bit janky and probably won’t make too much sense, but I’m trying to do something that I haven’t done before for fun, so I’d appreciate constructive criticism of my take on a hypnotist mastermind.

Here is what I got so far in the story:

- Masako Shigeko is the ultimate cosmologist, themed after the title: “Illuminated Mortality” because stars are bright, and this is a killing game. She is also an anagram for Kagoshima Okse, the ultimate hypnotist.

- Originally, the “Illuminated Mortality Project” was human ran by a group of terrorists who kidnapped 16 ultimates to do a sick experiment on how quickly these ultimates’ morals will fall when placed in a high-stress environment such as a killing game (if you want the in depth motive for the illuminated project, you’ll have to read my fic when it comes out)

- Madame Moth, the royal and theatrical equivalent of Monokuma is the AI overseer of the project and is physically interacting with the students and encouraging them by introducing motives the terrorists want to test on the ultimates.

- Masako, as her normal, barely lucid self, accidentally manifested Kagoshima Okse, a dream born spirit through her constant meditation and daydreaming.

- Kagoshima has the equivalent skillsets of Masako, but inverted for hypnotism and dream interpretation over spirituality and cosmology

- Kagoshima manages to hijack the killing game from the terrorists as well as taking control of Madame Moth. (idk how I will make this happen, it’s still a work in progress, also please make suggestions of what the terrorists will be doing while the killing game is being hijacked, I don’t know myself)

- Kagoshima realizes that the ultimates are in the perfect environment for using them as anchors to the mortal realm (idk it’s a plot drive) because of their talents, this will be made easier due to the constant fear, isolation, distrust, and exposure to strong feelings of despair.

- Kagoshima, as Masako, convinces the pyromaniac support to undergo hypnotherapy for his fear of the dark. Pyromaniac’s fear of the dark is no more, but it is replaced with some of Kagoshima’s influence.

- Masako gets poisoned to death for the ch. 1 case, (in story ch. 1 takes 4 days before Masako gets poisoned) leaving only pyromaniac support alive for Kagoshima to escape into the world.

- FF to ch. 3, with mathematician being the first victim of ch. 3. Kagoshima, as pyromaniac, tries to create an unsolvable crime to escape. (killer doesn’t remember doing it, killer has a passable alibi, and since technically it was Kagoshima doing the crime, it creates confusion whether to vote Masako or pyromaniac) But gets unexpectedly spotted by the street artist

- with street artist seeing the zipties and duct tape in “pyromaniac’s” hands, she assumes pyromaniac is planning to burn someone to death, that’s when “pyromaniac” tries to call over street artist to enact the plan. Street artist panics and kills pyromaniac, unintentionally killing another part of Kagoshima.

- all that is left of Kagoshima is her control over Madame Moth, the killing game mascot. Kagoshima realizes that the only way to escape with the last of her spirit intact is to play the long game and wait to be released alongside the 2 surviving students.

- in classic fashion, protag pulls the truth behind Kagoshima, Masako, and pyromaniac out of thin air and decides to sacrifice herself to end Kagoshima.

- because of an ability she receives in chapter 3, she can order Madame Moth to kill someone in their sleep in exchange for becoming the blackened. Instead of using this ability on her classmates since becoming a killer means either you or everyone dies, she holds onto it until last trial.

- she decides to use it on herself, ordering Madame Moth to kill her, this results in Madame Moth becoming the blackened and takes Kagoshima with her in the execution. With Madame Moth dead, the survivors walk free, traumatized, but Kagoshima is stopped, and I still don’t know what the terrorists were doing all this time.

Title

I’ll start. My favorite chapter was sdr2-1, I like it so much because there were two people trying to stop the murders, and yet they only managed to kill each other rather than the traitor. Plus my favorite cases to read are cases where the kill goes wrong, so there’s bonus points for Twogami unintentionally triggering the trap Teruteru set for Nagito when pushing him out of the table and preventing him from getting the knife.

Here is the execution from my fanganronpa. I’m not too sure with how people will take it since danganronpa is pretty cartoonish most of the time regarding executions, and this one is in a more serious tone.

A stencil is pressed against the wall by a gloved hand, the shaking of a spray can is heard and in 4 smooth motions, accompanied by the hissing of a spray can, the paint left behind reads:

Execution: “Canned Art”
Executed: Carl Rommel, the Ultimate Street Artist.

Carl hit the ground hard.
The world around him came in bright, familiar detail: a narrow alleyway, too enclosed to be real, every brick wall layered with graffiti, tags, signatures, portraits, dripping bubble letters, a neon sign pointing nowhere. It looked like every backstreet Carl had ever slipped through after midnight, except this one had no exit.
Behind him, a chain linked fence sealed the alley shut, its metal teeth glinting under a flickering streetlamp.

Carl’s breathing spiked. He staggered backward, eyes darting across the walls, the pavement, the fence, the fake trash cans, the fake fire escape, the fake everything. He had been chased before. Cornered before. He knew panic was a death sentence. Years of running from cops after tagging trains, alleys, rooftops, and storefronts had taught him one rule: stay scared, but stay smart.
The alley hissed, and he knew he was minutes from death… All because he escaped from that pyromaniac’s murder attempt.
Three enormous spray cans rolled out from the shadows, each one taller than Carl. They were on the other side of the fence, their nozzles spraying thick clouds of spray paint.
*PSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH*
Clouds of pink, blue, and yellow paint colored death mists blasted into the alley.
Carl coughed and stumbled, placing a hand over his mouth. The fumes were spreading fast, swallowing the graffiti covered walls in clouds of color.
He ripped off his shirt, spit in it, and wrapped it around his nose and mouth.
He lunged to the fence, its top just a few feet out of reach. The second his fingers touched it, the metal sliced into him. He jerked back with a yelp, then forced himself up. Now was no time for hesitation.
He yanked the laces from his shoes, bleeding fingers shaking as he tried to knot them together, pink stained his laces. The cans hissed louder, he was running out of time as the fumes crawled closer. His hands slippled, slick with blood, but he managed to tie his laces together. He bit down on one of his shoes and tore off the sole, revealing the hook that he hid inside.
He tied the laces to the hook for weight, then tossed them up. With a *Clink* the hook/anchor caught on the fence’s top.
Holding his breath, he tied his shirt to the laces, making a crude shield between his hands and the razor fence. Then he climbed.
The metal scraped, and the laces stretched. The chemical fog thickened and clung to the floor as the details disappeared under a sea of toxic mist.
Carl climbed higher and higher, until he swung his leg over the top of the fence, blinking away the pain as the metal caught him. He hauled himself over and dropped to the other side, landing hard but alive.
For one glorious second, Carl just laid there, gasping. The music continued, but he was out of harms way… did he just survive an execution?
Above him, a monitor flickered on.
Monokuma stared down, one paw twitching.
Monokuma: “…Huh?”
The bear’s eye twitched.
Monokuma: “HUUUUUH?! That wasn’t supposed to happen!”
Carl slowly pushed himself up, breathing hard, hurt but still moving.
Monokuma’s smile returned.
A worse one.
Monokuma: “Okay, okay! Fine! You wanna improvise? Then I’ll improvise too! Restart the music!”
The lights snapped off.
Then back on.
PHASE TWO: A FRESH COAT OF DANGER
The platform rises, he was once again at the top of a drop, but this one was not survivable. Carl was climbing down the side of the wall now, unable to see what waited below. His feet searched for a foothold.
Behind him, hidden in the shadows, Monokuma pressed a big red button.
A new door revealed itself.
Carl dropped the last few feet and landed in a new section of the alley.
This part looked cleaner. At the end of it stood a pair of double doors traced with yellow and black warning strips, the sign on top of it said: “Execution in progress”, Carl sprinted to the “backdoor exit”
Masako Shigeko: “Don’t stop Carl! You can make it!”
Griffin Deanson: “C’mon Carl! Teach that Monokuma bastard he doesn’t control us!”
Zedan Zephix: “You can do it!”
Then came the voices.
His classmates. The only people he trusted, even that detective bastard who found him out felt bad about voting him.
Carl froze, his eyes widened. For the first time since the execution began, hope cracked through the fear.
He limped forward, one hand still clutching the soaked shirt around his face. The voices grew louder. Warmer. Closer.
Carl Rommel: “Guys! I’m gonna do it! I’m going to survive the execution!”
He grabbed the handles and shoved the double doors open.
On the other side was not freedom.
It was a giant spray can.
Its metal body filled the doorway from floor to ceiling, wedged so tightly that the doors would not close again when he tried to shut the door. The yellow warning sticker glowed under the harsh white lights:
DANGER: NEUROTOXIN
The realization hit that he really was going to die from fumigation, and there was nothing he could do about it.
A mechanical arm descended from above and seized the can.
Then it started shaking it.
*Shake shake* *Shake shake*
Carl threw his body against the doors, trying to force them shut, but the can blocked them completely.
The nozzle turned toward him.
PSSSSSSSSSHHHH!
A stream of green toxic mist blasted out.
Carl coughed violently and stumbled to the side.
The nozzle turned and followed on its own without the hand pointing it at him
He ducked left, he dove right. The nozzle followed.
The nozzle tracked his with cruel precision as the voices of his classmates distorted through hidden speakers, still cheering, still calling his name, now warped and glitching into something almost mocking.
Carl’s eyes darted to the top of the can. One last idea.
He rushed forward, grabbed the rim, and hauled himself up onto the giant spray can. The fumes streamed below him, missing him by inches. He crawled across the curved metal surface, trying to squeeze through the gap between the can and the doorframe.
For a glorious final three seconds, it worked. The nozzle couldn’t track him.
Carl’s hand reached past the can.
His fingers touched open air.
Then the mechanical hand stopped spraying, and moved the finger right up to the left side of the nozzle.
It bent the nozzle sideways.
Carl looked back.
Carl Rommel: “FFFUUUUUUUCCCKKKK YYYOOOOUUUUU!
POP!
The nozzle popped off.
The entire can erupted.
A roaring burst of neurotoxic spray exploded upward, engulfing Carl in a violent cloud of green. His silhouette vanished inside it, twisting and collapsing as the fumes swallowed the doorway, the walls, the fake alley, and his body.
The spray finally ran out.
Carl lay on the floor, >!convulsing, vomiting, and covered in hives. His wrists were locked facing out as his shoulders kept shaking uncontrollably. His head was shivering in place, jaw clenched like a victim of tetanus. Buried under dripping layers of paint and poison.!<
One final mechanical arm stamps a stencil to the green wall.
It read: “CARL ROMMEL WAS HERE”
Monokuma waddled into frame, wearing a tiny respirator and holding spray cans of his own. One white, one black. He sprayed each half with the colors and took the stencil off.
“Puhuhu! Guess that’s what happens when your art career gets canned! Puhuhu!”
He sprayed a crude black and white bear face over Carl’s final tag.

The protagonist of my fan story, Jess Cassidy, the ultimate crime solver, walks into the room where the other ultimates are at alongside Toshiro Juro, the ultimate officer, (the antagonist), and Arata Taro, the ultimate thermal propulsion specialist (Support). I’m wondering if going in depth describing the characters in one go is the right thing to do in my story which has no visual references.

Here is an excerpt of my prologue, I know Reddit doesn’t like “do you like this part of my story?” But I’m asking for constructive criticism of the way I introduce my characters, not just asking for y’all to make it better for me:

“The ceiling arched high above us, lined with lights that glowed like a bad imitation of sunlight. There were couches arranged around low tables, and branching halls leading off in several directions. A monitor hung on the far wall, turned off, its black screen reflecting the room back at us. And dozens of cameras throughout.

And scattered throughout the room were 13 other students, all ultimates, chatting and waiting for whatever comes next.

The first one I noticed was a tall boy hunched so severely it almost looked painful. He was adjusting the sleeve of a smaller girl’s jacket, his hands moving with careful precision. Despite his towering height, his expression was gentle, almost apologetic. His eyes were black and long dark hair going down to his elbows. Dressed in an elegant royal purple suit. Measuring tape fully unspooled went around the back of his neck and down to his ankles, his other tools were some scissors, sewing kits, and various fabrics which were in a purple bag he carried around. His pants were matte black with no shine, and his shoes were dark leather and looked to be slip ins.

???: “There… that should sit more comfortably now. Sorry, the stitching was pulling at your shoulder.”

???: “Oh! Thank you! You didn’t have to fix it right now! Your talent is so under appreciated, seriously!”

The girl he was helping practically bounced where she sat, bright eyed and energetic, with tools clipped to her belt and a few loose wires sticking out of one pocket. She had a tan complexion and her hair was about shoulder length and dyed blue on her right side and yellow on the left side. She tied her hair into lighting shaped twin tails. She is wearing a yellow crop top jacket and blue colored baggy sweatpants. Her shoes were large white sneakers with yellow and teal laces.

The two diverted their attention to the three of us, the electrician girl rushed over before anyone could say anything as the tall boy hesitated, noticing us staring at him.

Jess Cassidy: Hi, my name is Jess Cassidy, and I’m the ultimate crime solver.

Toshiro Juro: Hello there, I am Toshiro Juro, pleased to make your acquaintance as the ultimate officer.

???: “Wait, wait, wait! You’re Jess Cassidy? Ultimate Crime Solver? That is so cool! I mean, not cool that you were kidnapped like us. That part is extremely not cool. But the talent part is cool! I’m Choko Fumi, Ultimate Electrician! But my fans online know me as Sparkie!”

Choko Fumi: “If there are *non barred* doors, cameras, weird machines, or any other electrical nonsense, I can probably help! Unless it explodes. Then Arata can probably help. Unless he caused it… Which is also possible.”

Arata Taro: “Ouch, I feel judged.”

Choko Fumi: “You kinda should.”

The tall boy approached next, still hunched.

???: “Um… hello. I’m Gulliver Ryota… t-the Ultimate Tailor. It’s nice to meet you both, despite everything. If… if you need any accommodations, I’ll be sure to be of help.”

He smiled, but it was strained, he was clearly out of his comfort zone. He kept eyeing the cameras, worried about something. I could tell that he was trying his absolute hardest to not come off as intimidating. It was only when I made the connection between him hunching over to seem more approachable that I realized this boy was easily somewhere around 7 feet tall.

Gulliver Ryota: “If either of you are hurt, or your clothes were damaged, I… I shoul- can take a look. Sometimes small tears can become large ones if ignored.”

Jess Cassidy: “I’m fine.”

Toshiro Juro: “Thank you, Gulliver, that was very considerate of you.”

Arata: “Ha! I’m fine Gulliver, you take now! Let me introduce these two to the others!”

Gulliver looked relived at the simple acknowledgement as Choko let Arata introduce the others to me and Toshiro.

I got into Pokémon showdown pretty recently and because my fav yter was t6t, I’m making my own fake stall team, any suggestions?

https://pokepast.es/ff0138de8250a1e0

Banded alomomola is just better than lorb alomomola imo, it’s just there to get picks with aqua jet or be a revenge switch, so I hardly need to keep it on the field long enough to change my attacks

Magic guard clefable + lorb is inspired by magic guard reuniclus + lorb, one of my favorite gen 5 mons, and I think that flamethrower, thunderbolt, and moonblast is the best stab coverage it can get. Soft boiled is a more reliable healing than moonlight in my opinion

Banded toxapex is just another attacker which serves the purpose of a tspikes absorber, it runs knock off, ice spinner, liquidation, and poison jab over gunk shot since I just hate to miss moves, in fact every heatran I use has zoom lens because I hate missing moves and blunder policy is a scam.

Boots offensive araquanid is a bulky switch in that takes advantage of water bubble to get kos, sure, it’s the biggest liability on this team, but it’s my favorite pokemon so I just had to try to incorporate it into the team, even though it’s costing me a hazard remover.

With 110 base attack, ting Lu is a really good abuser of band on fake stall, and having a psychic immunity helps too. Banded rocks is a weird set, but with how good ground is offensively, it can occasionally find a good opportunity to set rocks. Stone edge pressures flying types and payback is good stab dark attack

Mega aggron just sells the idea of a stall team, admittedly it is a liability but so is the entire concept of fake stall. Plus it’s naturally physically bulky, making it a good switch, and it’s the only Mon that knows taunt that isn’t banded.

For those who don’t know, “danganronpa” is basically a murder mystery but anime with student prodigies called “ultimates”, an example would be the ultimate detective, ultimate baseball star, ultimate akido master, etc.

The protagonist of my fan story, Jess Cassidy, the ultimate crime solver, walks into the room where the other ultimates are at alongside Toshiro Juro, the ultimate officer, (the antagonist), and Arata Taro, the ultimate thermal propulsion specialist (Support). I’m wondering if going in depth describing the characters in one go is the right thing to do in my story which has no visual references.

Here is an excerpt of my prologue, I know Reddit doesn’t like “do you like this part of my story?” But I’m asking for constructive criticism of the way I introduce my characters, not just asking for y’all to make it better for me:

“The ceiling arched high above us, lined with lights that glowed like a bad imitation of sunlight. There were couches arranged around low tables, a circular reception desk at the center, and branching halls leading off in several directions. A monitor hung on the far wall, turned off, its black screen reflecting the room back at us. And dozens of cameras throughout.

And scattered throughout the room were 13 other students, all ultimates, chatting and waiting for whatever comes next.

The first one I noticed was a tall boy hunched so severely it almost looked painful. He was adjusting the sleeve of a smaller girl’s jacket, his hands moving with careful precision. Despite his towering height, his expression was gentle, almost apologetic. His eyes were black and long dark hair going down to his elbows. Dressed in an elegant royal purple suit. Measuring tape fully unspooled went around the back of his neck and down to his ankles, his other tools were some scissors, sewing kits, and various fabrics which were in a purple bag he carried around. His pants were matte black with no shine, and his shoes were dark leather and looked to be slip ins.

???: “There… that should sit more comfortably now. Sorry, the stitching was pulling at your shoulder.”

???: “Oh! Thank you! You didn’t have to fix it right now! Your talent is so under appreciated, seriously!”

The girl he was helping practically bounced where she sat, bright eyed and energetic, with tools clipped to her belt and a few loose wires sticking out of one pocket. She had a tan complexion and her hair was about shoulder length and dyed blue on her right side and yellow on the left side. She tied her hair into lighting shaped twin tails. She is wearing a yellow crop top jacket and blue colored baggy sweatpants. Her shoes were large white sneakers with yellow and teal laces.

The two diverted their attention to the three of us, the electrician girl rushed over before anyone could say anything as the tall boy hesitated, noticing us staring at him.

Jess Cassidy: Hi, my name is Jess Cassidy, and I’m the ultimate crime solver.

Toshiro Juro: Hello there, I am Toshiro Juro, pleased to make your acquaintance as the ultimate officer.

???: “Wait, wait, wait! You’re Jess Cassidy? Ultimate Crime Solver? That is so cool! I mean, not cool that you were kidnapped like us. That part is extremely not cool. But the talent part is cool! I’m Choko Fumi, Ultimate Electrician! But my fans online know me as Sparkie!”

Choko Fumi: “If there are *non barred* doors, cameras, weird machines, or any other electrical nonsense, I can probably help! Unless it explodes. Then Arata can probably help. Unless he caused it… Which is also possible.”

Arata Taro: “Ouch, I feel judged.”

Choko Fumi: “You kinda should.”

The tall boy approached next, still hunched.

???: “Um… hello. I’m Gulliver Ryota… t-the Ultimate Tailor. It’s nice to meet you both, despite everything. If… if you need any accommodations, I’ll be sure to be of help.”

He smiled, but it was strained, he was clearly out of his comfort zone. He kept eyeing the cameras, worried about something. I could tell that he was trying his absolute hardest to not come off as intimidating. It was only when I made the connection between him hunching over to seem more approachable that I realized this boy was easily at least 2.5 meters (~8 feet) tall.

Gulliver Ryota: “If either of you are hurt, or your clothes were damaged, I… I shoul- can take a look. Sometimes small tears can become large ones if ignored.”

Jess Cassidy: “I’m fine.”

Toshiro Juro: “Thank you, Gulliver, that was very considerate of you.”

Arata: “Ha! You bet I am! C’mon, let me show these two around to the others!”

Gulliver looked relived at the simple acknowledgement as Choko let Arata introduce the others to me and Toshiro.

The protagonist, Jess Cassidy, the ultimate crime solver, walks into the room where the other ultimates are at alongside Toshiro Juro, the ultimate officer, (the antagonist), and Arata Taro, the ultimate thermal propulsion specialist (Support). I’m wondering if info dumping is a good way to show readers what the students look like and what they tend to act like.

Here is an excerpt of my prologue, I know Reddit doesn’t like “do you like this part of my story?” But I’m asking for constructive criticism of my character introductions, not just asking for y’all to make it better for me:

The ceiling arched high above us, lined with lights that glowed like a bad imitation of sunlight. There were couches arranged around low tables, a circular reception desk at the center, and branching halls leading off in several directions. A monitor hung on the far wall, turned off, its black screen reflecting the room back at us. And dozens of cameras throughout.

And scattered throughout the room were other students, ultimates.

The first one I noticed was a tall boy hunched so severely it almost looked painful. He was adjusting the sleeve of a smaller girl’s jacket, his hands moving with careful precision. Despite his towering height, his expression was gentle, almost apologetic. His eyes were black and long white hair going down to his elbows. Dressed in an elegant royal purple suit. Measuring tape fully unspooled went around the back of his neck and down to his ankles, his other tools were some scissors, sewing kits, and various fabrics were in a bag he carried around. His pants were matte purple with no shine, his shoes were black leather and looked to be slip ins.

???: There… that should sit more comfortably now. Sorry, the stitching was pulling at your shoulder.

???: Oh! Thank you! You didn’t have to fix it right now! That’s such a useful talent!

The girl he was helping practically bounced where she sat, bright eyed and energetic, with tools clipped to her belt and a few loose wires sticking out of one pocket. She had a tan complexion and her hair was dyed blue on her right side and orange on the left side, shoulder length. She tied her hair into lighting shaped twin tails. She is wearing a yellow crop top jacket and blue colored baggy sweatpants. Her shoes seemed

The two diverted their attention to the three of us, the electrician girl rushed over before anyone could say anything as the tall boy hesitated, noticing us staring at him.

???: Wait, wait, wait! You’re Jess Cassidy? Ultimate Crime Solver? That is so cool! I mean, not cool that you were kidnapped. That part is extremely not cool. But the talent part is cool! I’m Choko Fumi, Ultimate Electrician! But my fans know me as Sparkie!

Choko Fumi: If there are *non barred* doors, cameras, weird machines, or any other electrical nonsense, I can probably help! Unless it explodes. Then Arata can probably help. Unless he caused it… Which is also possible.

Arata Taro: Ouch, I feel judged.

Choko Fumi: You should!

The tall boy approached next, still hunched.

???: Um… hello. I’m Gulliver Ryota… Ultimate Tailor. It’s nice to meet you both, despite everything. If… if you need any accommodations, I’ll be sure to be of help.

He smiled, but it was strained, he was clearly out of his comfort zone. He kept eyeing the cameras, worried about something. I could tell that he was trying his absolute hardest to not come off as intimidating. It was only when I made the connection between him hunching over to seem more approachable that I realized this boy was easily at least 2.5 meters (~8 feet) tall.

Gulliver Ryota: If either of you are hurt, or your clothes were damaged, I… I shoul- can take a look. Sometimes small tears can become large ones if ignored.