u/Downtown-schnauzer

Does anyone else feel this way? I think I’m depressed.

I spend all day looking forward to being done with my obligations so I can do absolutely nothing. I have a toddler and feel horrible that I’m essentially going through the motions with her and look forward to 7pm when she goes to bed.

Alcohol is the only thing that makes me want to socialize and do stuff, but that feels like a slippery slope that I’m trying to avoid.

I work in a pretty typical restaurant compared to previous jobs. Super social work environment. Lots of my coworkers were friends before they got the job, I work with a couple and two sisters. Like other restaurants I’ve worked at, both managers and staff are pretty chatty in their downtime. It’s never an issue as long as we get our work done.

New GM of about 6 months is different than any other manager I’ve ever worked for. He seems to care a lot about about the staff getting along and the interpersonal aspect of the workplace. We had a meeting recently where we both agreed we got off on the wrong foot. He said he wants me to focus on being more attentive to coworkers and management.

I participate in the workplace banter and conversation but I’m not super close to my coworkers. They’re all nice people, but I have a toddler and another job and there haven’t been many coworkers that I’ve connected with well enough to hang out with outside work. We occasionally have things like going away parties for long time employees or secret Santa, and I attend.

I’m not perfect and I made a few off color jokes in the beginning of GM working here. Another manager told me he is dry and sarcastic, and it’s a casual work environment where people joke about things like hard drugs and SA. I did not think anything I’ve said in conversation at work would cause this much of a problem.

I’ve made an effort to be more professional around him and in general. I started asking my coworkers what they need whenever I can and be as helpful as possible. I’ve been complimented by other managers about how I interact with guests so I don’t think I have issues there.

A few months into GM working here, he told me I seem like I struggle with the social aspect of the job. He asked me once if I even like my job. I was caught off guard.

I recently got close enough with a coworker that we got a drink after work. She’s experienced and seems to thrive in her role. I was surprised when she told me GM said she seems like she may not be a cultural fit because she struggles to get along with others.

I want the possibility of a future promotion and to feel secure in my role. I’ve asked GM for things I can improve on, and he never gives tangible feedback. Just vague suggestions related to the social aspect of the job. My location is apparently one of the top performing restaurants in the company, so he likely isn’t going anywhere. I like my job and the money is good.

I need advice on how to get along with him and hopefully get him to like me more. I don’t need to be best friends with the guy, but it sucks that one person is affecting my schedule and work environment so much. I used to look forward to going to work. Now when I see his name on the schedule I dread it.

I’m really struggling because work feels like a high school popularity contest. I feel like I’m double fucked because if a mistake inevitably happens, coworkers might be more likely to blame me than someone they’re close with. This GM seems to take employee feedback more to heart than my past managers. We have an assistant manager and 2 supervisors. I think I have a great working relationship with all of them, but GM has full control over the schedule.

Where will it be sold in Vegas?

Dressing like a child must have been mainly Gypsy’s idea. Sure, DeeDee seemed like a bit of a Disney adult but it didn’t seem like she was forcing Gypsy to dress like a child as gypsy said before.

Was it ageplay? Part of keeping up the con? Gypsy being into kid stuff due to her mental delays?

I know a guy who was a make a wish recipient as a teen. He lcarried himself like any other teenage boy. Gypsy looking younger may have gotten her slightly more public sympathy and donations, but big orgs like MAW look at the diagnosis. Not how sickly the person seems. The wheelchair is already a clear marker of disability.

I have a chronic illness and I’m in my 30s. People who are well versed in working with people who have chronic illness know how degrading it can be for us when we’re infantilized. A nurse called me “cute” once and my care coordinator spoke to her privately. I went to an event for people with my condition and related conditions, and one thing that stuck with me was the facilitator saying that people with conditions like mine are more likely to explore things that give us a sense of autonomy over our own bodies, like tattoos and piercings. I had never heard anything like that before and it really resonated with me.

Yeah, I’m a spoiled princess for being so bothered by such a basic task. I live in the suburbs in a pretty central area of my city so a car is necessary, but I’m not dealing with insane traffic like LA or other major cities. My city has shit public transit and a 25 minute drive to the main part of the city takes about an hour and a half on the bus. I’ve done it before and it’s actually not bad if I have the time. I can get a lot of reading done.

I’ve never been a good driver. One of my biggest fears is hitting a pedestrian. I’m hyper vigilant when I drive. I smoke a good bit of weed, and I’m the only smoker I know that doesn’t drive high.

If I have a WFH day and don’t have to drive anywhere, it improves the vibe of my whole day. It almost feels like a vacation.

I think it’s fundamentally stupid that every citizen should have control over multiple tons of metal moving at fast speeds. It’s such a basic part of life but such a big responsibility to have your own life in your hands and the lives of everyone else on the road too.

She’s not funny. “Bringing mezcal to America” could have been an iconic housewives line if someone like Sonja or Lisa Barlow who is openly delusional had said it.

I’m a Lisa fan and I’ve been loving seeing her with the ladies from other franchises. However, she was being ridiculous about making the group late for the flight. I’ve flown out of ATL before. It’s chaos. I usually get there 3 hours early.

Between this and what happened at Trixie Motel, she seems deeply insecure about her natural face. Who wants to have makeup artists in their face at 4:30am just to be glammed up for a two hour flight?

She’s beautiful and the negative comments about her appearance from her castmates and fans probably don’t help.

MIL (live in) and my mom both expect me to know everything to do with the home and family. Even the more traditionally masculine tasks. My husband is a very capable person, but neither of them will ask him for information. It’s always me.

Our garage door broke. My husband has a construction background and there’s no reason for me to be involved with the repairs. My mom and MIL both asked me what’s going on with it. Even if I did find out what’s wrong with the door, I have zero garage door knowledge and an explanation would be meaningless to me. Same thing when our dryer broke last year.

MIL has diabetes and a sweet tooth. DH handles the vast majority of her medical care. She needs a knee replacement and can’t have one until she lowers her A1c. Pretty much every time I talk to my mom, she asks about MIL’s diabetes. She does not like MIL and it seems like she’s asking for the sake of gossip. I’ve told her at least 20 times that I really don’t know day to day info about MIL’s health and she can talk to DH if she wants to know.

DH graduated a few months ago and is actively applying and interviewing for jobs. My mom asks me for updates on his job search. I told her I would need a spreadsheet to keep up with everything he applies and interviews for, and to ask him if she wants up to date info. I don’t think his family or friends would go through him if they were curious about my career.

I have a lot of other examples like this. It’s driving me crazy. Is it the norm that the wife/mom is supposed to be the family secretary and representative? There are a lot of things in our home that I handle without DH needing to know details, so it’s not like I’m putting everything on him.

Has anyone else tried this approach? It doesn’t seem to be working. MIL gets annoyed and my mom seems to think I’m dumb, careless, or both. I know part of the problem is internalized misogyny and generational differences. I have my own career, school, and a 3 year old so I can’t be everyone’s point of contact for everything.

Some of the older people in my family think my just-turned- 3 year old is too old for baby locks and gates. They think she’s old enough that she needs to learn boundaries and discipline.

My daughter has figured out how to open the childproof locks I have now and get in the pantry and kitchen drawers. She can open one of our baby gates now.

My POV is why not just get better locks. The child has no business being in the kitchen. I can usually do basic things like read my course content (I’m a grad student) or write work emails with my kid. I can’t do that when she’s trying to get in the pantry every 5 minutes.

My husband and MIL say she’ll never learn how to behave if everything is closed off to her. I feel like in a year or so when she’s a bit more verbal, she will listen. Now we’re in the trenches in full survival mode.

I posted a few months back about my 80 year old MIL who lives with me, DH, and LO (3).

Since my last post, DH has looked into some caregiving and transportation resources that would be covered under her insurance. She’s on the wait list for a few programs. DH also has a good friend who offered to help. He owns congregate care facilities and is very well versed in insurance approval and elder care overall.

We’re moving in the right direction with her day to day care. The problem is holidays and special events.

MIL has ruined every holiday since she’s lived with us. DH said she’s been like this his whole life and holidays can be triggering for him because of how she acts. She takes holidays very seriously, but doesn’t seem to enjoy them. She treats them more like a stressful full time unpaid job.

This Christmas, one of my husbands cousins visited. She is close to MIL and has a ton of patience with her. MIL treated the cousin like her personal assistant for the week. LO was messing with the Christmas tree and figured out how to climb the toddler gate we had around it. On December 26, I decided to start taking down the tree because I was getting nervous about LO pulling it down. MIL absolutely lost her mind. Screaming, crying, and insulting me. The cousin was out for a walk and tried to talk to MIL when she got home. MIL had the same outburst with her. MIL said I was intentionally taking the tree down to agitate her. The cousin said MIL grabbed her arm so hard she left a mark. The cousin texted me later and said she knows MIL gets stressed around the holidays, but it’s never been nearly this bad.

LO had a birthday this weekend. My grandfather passed away recently and I had unexpected travel expenses for his funeral. I told MIL that we can’t spend much money right now and we’re having a smaller party. 5 or so kids at a community splash pad with pizza and cake.

MIL is habitually late. We’re talking 4 hours late to her own wedding. She missed her husbands funeral and her goddaughters christening because she couldn’t be on time.

I told MIL the day before and the morning of the party that she needs to be dressed and ready to leave at 9:30. I told her I’ll handle LO and her things, she just needs to get herself ready. The actual time we needed to leave was 10. I’m a real estate agent and I had a quick house showing in my neighborhood in the morning. I dressed and fed LO before I left and got back at around 9:30. MIL was still in her pajamas. I told her we need to leave in 15 minutes. She started sobbing. Then LO started crying. I told her if she needs more time, she can ride with DH. DH came home in the middle of her outburst, and asked her why she acts this way on every holiday. She did not have an answer. She got herself ready in time to go with me (she wanted to ride with LO) and cried the whole way there. We got to the party space with less than 15 minutes to set up before the guests came.

There is no pleasing this woman. DH and I have tried giving her a bit of extra cash to spend on holiday stuff to placate her. She just wants more. Do you guys know the kids book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? That’s my MIL. I could give her an unlimited credit card for holiday stuff and she still wouldn’t be happy.

Luckily the next major holiday for her is thanksgiving, so I have some time. I told DH I’m done. I’m not doing any holiday stuff with her. He said he understands. I have a huge extended family that mostly lives out of state, so we can easily find other plans. But some part of me feels bad. MIL doesn’t have many years left and LO is her only grandchild.

My biggest thing is that I don’t want LO to have trauma around the holidays. I used to love holidays before MIL. She’s told me I’m an evil person, that I have hate in my heart, and so many awful things during her holiday meltdowns. It’s embarrassing to have my friends and family around, because she speaks to me like I’m her employee and I don’t want to make people uncomfortable by being curt with an old lady.

I know MIL blames me and DH for being non traditional people. She has a lot of ideas about how things should be, and gets upset when we don’t adhere to her standards. I mostly just want to have fun on special days. Part of it is definitely misogyny. DH is a great party host and usually cooks for the holidays. I don’t enjoy cooking in bulk so I’m glad he does. MIL always asks me what the plans are, as if I’m hosting by myself. When I redirect her to DH, she gets mad. I feel bad for DH too because he’s a competent person, and MIL treats him like he isn’t. I feel like in a way she wants to triangulate us and have it be her and I against him, and she doesn’t like that he and I are a united front.

I’m a host/server. One of the senior server/supervisors got her 18 year old sister a hosting job. It’s her first job and she seemed nice at first.

I don’t know the older sister super well. I thought we were cool with each other but I’m getting the feeling she filled the younger sister in on all the workplace gossip.

I haven’t worked with the younger sister when I serve yet. She is incredibly frustrating to host with. She comes to work visibly stoned (I don’t care, but if you’re gonna smoke before work you’ve gotta keep pace). She moves half as fast as me but is directing me like I’m her trainee.

Like most places, the management at my restaurant wants someone at the host stand to greet guests at all times. I can’t trust the new host to stay at the podium while I do to-gos, seat guests, or reset tables. I can’t trust her to not wander off and hang out while I run the door.

The assistant manager said he noticed she’s on her phone a lot and spends too much time hanging out at the expo line. He said I should be more directive with her. She just rolls her eyes when I try.

I can’t go to management. The GM does not like me for petty personal reasons. My sales are great and I get positive feedback from guests. He thinks I’m weak at hosting specifically. He mentioned the new host by name last time we had a one on one conversation and said he would rather schedule her than me. That’s fine, I’m trying to transition out of hosting anyway. The managers and the staff as a whole really like this girl. My restaurant doesn’t have bussers or runners and I think the older sister told her to be more of a server assistant.

It’s really the entitlement that’s bothering me. We hosted together today and she tried to finesse me into letting her be first cut. If she had asked and I had been available, I would have offered to stay.

I normally don’t mind being direct to my coworkers, but I really don’t want a bunch of drama. My big concern is that I don’t want the host to start fucking with my table assignments when I work serving shifts.

What’s the best way to handle this?

My grandfather lived a good life. He passed at age 93 late Friday night. He was such a cool guy. He worked in public utilities and had a huge family to support and also painted and wrote poetry. Dude had a heart of gold. He was my last living grandparent and my dad passed in 2024 so I’m having a hard time.

I called my mom the next day to ask for family photos since most of them aren’t digitized. She went on a tangent about how my aunts are trying to screw her out of his will and how she’s trying to get ahead of them with probate court shit. I tuned her out midway through and took a shot of whiskey because the whole thing makes me so sad. Now isn’t the time to talk shit about my aunts and uncles.

I have 8 aunts and uncles and I have a pretty good relationship with my extended family. I never talk to them about money, so idk if they’ve even doing the things my mom is accusing them of. There’s a ton of sibling rivalry among all of them. Two of my aunts were the main person handling my grandfathers care and my mom came close to accusing her of elder abuse. It doesn’t seem like that’s true. I have a good relationship with my aunts.

The funeral is in a week and a half and I’m so sad. My family isn’t big on direct confrontation, so I think everyone will at least behave themselves at the services and not make a scene.

My grandmothers funeral was incredibly awkward because it’s obvious that these people do not like each other. There was a lot of subtle shit talk related to money. I wish everyone could put money out of their heads for one day and focus on my grandfather.

Location: Las Vegas, NV. Hourly part time job in a restaurant. I worked between 3-5 shifts per week, usually 4. On the newest schedule, I have one shift for the next two weeks.

We got a new general manager a while ago and he makes the schedule. The guy does not like me. We had one sit down conversation and the issues he brought up were more with my personality than job performance.

In regards to the personality thing, he said I’m “negative” because I’ve mentioned workplace safety violations, lack of compliance to company standards, favoritism in his scheduling, and I enjoy making suggestions about how the restaurant could run better overall. The guy can think I’m annoying, but letting that affect my income feels like retaliation.

It’s a very casual work environment and most of the guys have pretty raunchy humor. I do too (I’m a woman) and I feel that the standards for the jokes that the men can make is different than it is for me.

I have worked at this job for 14 months and never got any disciplinary action. Other managers have given me positive comments on my performance.

I was rewatching season 1 of VPR recently and didn’t remember how stick thin Kristen used to be. I know she’s talked about Tom pushing adderall on her for weight loss, and I suspect that he did more behind the scenes that she never talked about because she didn’t want to fully expose her eating disorder.

I was a very miserable pregnant person. A big part of it was not liking the changes in my body. I had perinatal depression and PPD, and never wanted anything like maternity shoots. I wore my husbands clothes for most of my pregnancy because it felt dumb to me to spend money on maternity clothes that I’ll only need for a few months when I barely wanted to leave the house and felt ugly no matter what.

Nia and Lala are both the opposite type of pregnant woman than me. They look great pregnant and postpartum and literally glow. Nia especially makes pregnancy and the postpartum stage look easy. I would definitely compare my postpartum body to theirs if they were my friends/coworkers. Janet lost a ton of weight too. I’m not saying Kristen looks bad, but she’s definitely experienced very normal changes in her body. I feel for her a lot and she seems to be suffering so much this season. I wonder how much of that is related to ED triggers and comparing herself to her friends.

She must really love Jasmine because she does not seem to enjoy this at all. Benji has funny quips and seems to like being along for the ride, Lacy clearly loves being on TV.

Other Bravo spouses and family members don’t film. Randall doesn’t let his older daughter with Lala be on the show. Mary Cosby’s husband in SLC doesn’t film.

I want an episode with Melissa’s internal monologue, lol. She seems like a really observant person, but maybe I’m seeing that because she barely talks on camera. I wonder if she even likes any of these people.

I don’t like to fuck with people’s sources of income but I’m not seeing a lot of other options.

It’s a smaller chain with an actual HR department. The staff overall has a pretty good working relationship with each other.

New GM is completely messing up the energy of the place. Now scheduling is based on favoritism, people are getting sent home mid shift for minor infractions on a regular basis which makes everything harder on the team. I’m tired of seeing at least one coworker a week cry.

I caught him in a major HR and labor law violation. He has no idea. I also went from around 3-4 shifts a week to 1 on the newest schedule. How would you handle this?

I would really much rather have a decent working relationship with the guy, but he’s making it difficult. I drafted a letter to HR and ran it by my friend who works in HR. He said what I wrote will be a huge issue at the minimum, and GM getting fired is the most likely outcome.

I saw a lot of anti Faye comments about the scream. I think she realized Rue doesn’t give a fuck about her. The “money” was her only shot at getting away from the Nazis.

Backstory on Estee.

I’m so curious about the original Pearl girl.

These girls are from high status families and can get away with things that wouldn’t be allowed for the average Econogirl.

Shu and Jehosheba especially seem to have strong personalities, especially after seeing the slap and Jehosheba at the tea party.

The plums also seem to have a lot of leeway in how they speak to the aunts based on last episode.

We haven’t seen much of their home lives besides Agnes’s, but she seems to have a fair amount of freedom at home as long as she doesn’t piss off Paula.

Being fully submissive to a man seems like a huge adjustment from being essentially a Gilead princess. Do the commanders break the girls until they lose their spirit? Are the girls given classes on the importance of subservience, like the horrible sex ed class we saw?

I’m nervous for Shu especially. I think she still idealizes the idea of a marriage to a commander and she’s in for a rude awakening if she gets a cruel commander and decides to speak freely around him.

I think Shu will get her period almost immediately after age gets disillusioned with the idea of a Gilead marriage and decides to rebel with Daisy and Agnes

Penny dies and Judd is back in the pool

Agnes’s prospects have greatly diminished since she had a broken off engagement and she gets Maddox

Shu gets Judd and it hits her hard because Penny was her friend

Daisy gets Weston