u/Elegant_Dot2679

1. If someone only talks to you when a specific person isn’t around, they probably aren’t your friend. Think about it: a married man doesn’t talk to his mistress when his wife is around because he’s afraid she’ll discover the relationship. It’s the same situation. If you wouldn’t accept this kind of behavior from a man you’re dating, from a boyfriend, then don’t accept it from a friend either. You’re not a fugitive criminal who has to be seen only in secret. A genuine friendship shouldn’t have to exist in secret. And this person may also be talking about you behind your back, which could be why they only talk to you when they don’t risk being caught.
2. If someone talks badly about their friends when they aren’t around, they’ll probably talk about you the same way. A true friend defends you behind your back. Arguments and disagreements happen, but talking badly about someone for no reason is different. If someone talks about others when they aren’t there, ask yourself: what’s stopping them from doing the same to you?
3. If someone sees you being mistreated, slandered, or harmed and chooses to side with the person doing it—or simply remains neutral—they may not be someone you can trust. If they know you’re being hurt and still choose not to take a stand, they give that person room to continue mistreating you. Someone who watches without intervening can end up giving the other person ammunition to keep hurting you.
4. If someone only reaches out when you have something to offer, they may not be your friend; they may simply be interested in your usefulness. It could be academic help, work-related help, money, or any other kind of benefit. The moment you can no longer offer those things, they stop being nice to you, stop reaching out, and lose interest. In that case, maybe they didn’t like you—they liked the benefit you provided.
5. If someone uses a sensitive subject against you to hurt you, they are trying to hurt you. Even during an argument, there are things that shouldn’t be said when you know they are sensitive to the other person. It could be something very specific or something seemingly obvious, like making fun of someone’s appearance, financial situation, or insecurity. If someone knows something hurts you and uses it against you, they are crossing a line.
6. You shouldn’t only be sought out to play the role of a therapist. It’s normal to vent to friends and seek support. The problem is when it becomes one-sided and you are only contacted for that purpose. The person may not even realize what they’re doing, but they end up taking advantage of your ability to listen and provide emotional support. If they only show up to talk about their problems and aren’t there when you need them, the relationship isn’t truly reciprocal.
7. It can be extremely painful to discover that someone you love deeply, someone you have given so much affection, care, and loyalty to, actually didn’t have those same feelings for you all along. But that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It simply means you are in a situation that isn’t good for you. Your feelings can have been genuine even if they weren’t returned in the same way. And realizing that, as painful as it may be, can also be a way of understanding your suffering and beginning to protect yourself.
8. Not everything you love needs to remain in your life. It may seem obvious to many people, but it wasn’t obvious to me. And that’s exactly why I realized there might be other people going through the same situation. I know you may be confused, but I want to tell you something: anything that isn’t good for you, anything that is hurting you and causing you suffering, doesn’t need to remain in your life, even if you love that person. Loving someone doesn’t mean you have to accept being hurt by them. Realizing that a relationship isn’t good for you doesn’t mean that your love, affection, care, or loyalty weren’t genuine. It simply means that, at some point, you also have to choose to take care of yourself.

Como tratar quando vocês tiverem um paciente que tem a inveja como traço de personalidade marcante ?

Quero aprender a me defender.

Quero aprender a me defender dessas pessoas, não só porque ainda tenho que lidar com elas nos corredores e no campus.

Elas são microagressivas, do tipo que falam mal de você sem usar seu nome, mas você sabe que é direcionado a você, e olhando diretamente para você, elas te encaram com um olhar intimidador. Cumprimentam todo mundo, menos você. Fofocam enquanto te encaram com os olhos arregalados e cobrem a boca como menininhas. Param bem na sua frente e depois seguem em frente. Cumprimentam você mesmo depois de você deixar claro que não quer falar com elas (principalmente em público, perto de professores ou alunos neutros). E colocam a mão no rosto quando você passa. Quero aprender a me defender delas agora e também a lidar com esse tipo de pessoa no futuro.

Quero deixar isso bem claro: vocês não podem mais fazer isso comigo.

Alguém pode me ajudar?

I want to learn how to defend myself against these people, not only because I still have to deal with them in the hallways and on campus.

They are microaggressive, the type who speak ill of you without using your name, but you know it's directed at you, and looking directly at you, they stare at you with an intimidating gaze, They greet everyone except you, they gossip while staring at you with wide eyes and covering their mouths like little girls, they stop right in front of you and then move on, they greet you even after You clearly don't want to talk to them (especially in public near teachers or neutral students) and they put their hand to their face when you pass by.I want to learn how to defend myself against them now, and also how to deal with these kinds of people in the future.

I want to make this clear: you can't do this to me anymore.

Can somebody help me?

I want to learn how to defend myself against these people, not only because I still have to deal with them in the hallways and on campus.

They are microaggressive, the type who speak ill of you without using your name, but you know it's directed at you, and looking directly at you, they stare at you with an intimidating gaze, They greet everyone except you, they gossip while staring at you with wide eyes and covering their mouths like little girls, they stop right in front of you and then move on, they greet you even after You clearly don't want to talk to them (especially in public near teachers or neutral students) and they put their hand to their face when you pass by.I want to learn how to defend myself against them now, and also how to deal with these kinds of people in the future.

I want to make this clear: you can't do this to me anymore.

Can somebody help me?