u/Emotional-Island249

When I tried different therapists from different psychology approaches, I felt one or more of these problems in all of them

One of them constantly questioned everything I said intelectually, to the point of the conversation getting annoying and me feeling like I can't say anything while I'm feeling anxious, without him trying to refute my claim by calling it a cognitive distortion.

Or the opposite, I spend like, an hour talking nonstop, and barely hear any intervention or deep response, just silence

The best ones were the ones where I felt heard, but didn't feel like they were giving me any pragmatic advice to help me, any advice or direction of what I could try to do, just constantly telling me about the importance of self-knowledge and giving insight that I already knew or already had suspected about myself.

Im not sure if I'll be able to convey my feelings properly since english ain't my first language, but i'll try to explain

So, to start with, I'm 23M, went to therapy since ending of 2019/start of 2020 at around 15, at first because at that year I had a kinda high school "burnout"(I'm not sure what counts as burnout or not, but to summarize and simplify, I'll call that), and stopped going since last year.

Despite having tried more than one therapist over the years, and medications, I never felt like therapy and psychiatry "truly worked" or truly changed my life much for better, like I heard other people claiming it did to them. I mostly felt like it wasnt really truly working for me to say the least or relating to them, or even in some professionals feeling emotionally and intelectually disrespected, to say the most.

I stayed in the first therapist for around 2-3 years, and after dropping him to try others, I kinda got dragged into the hivemind that maybe the problem wasnt the therapeutic system itself or it not being a good approach for me, but rather that maybe it was just finding the right therapist or the right methodological approach

(The first time I went to wasn't even me actually wanting to, It was my mom who suggested me to do it for the first time after everything I went through that year, one of my first traumatic years in life, and convinced me to go after insisting.)

So I tried appointments for months with other therapists over the last 2-almost 3 years, one of them for over a year I think, from different clinics and different backgrounds, and still felt frustrated with therapy, a sensation that it's hard to describe, that I felt in many of them, a kind of frustration that was shared among different therapists, that I can't describe in simple words.

and my boiling point was I think months ago, on my first appointment with the last one I tried, where from the first appointment itself on this last try I quit,I already felt like I wasnt being treated like a person with specific complaints and feelings, but rather was a mere diagnosis case, that one was my ending appointment, my last one.

After all that, I'm just tired not only of therapy, but psychology theory and neuroscience in general too, I think the whole diagnosis trending and pop psychology online and offline in our culture not only not helped me, but made me more neurotic rather than helping me solve problems. For example, thinking that I had ADHD, made me feel innatentive itself and feel like I couldn't focus on anything, because I got so obssessed on thinking that I had ADHD, that the obsession made me lose focus. Ironic.

With psychiatrist, it makes me hesitant to try medications too... Because just like therapy, I went to psychiatrists too... And most of the time, from what I remember, either I felt like the medications didn't change much, or changed so much., that I felt like the collateral effects weren't truly worth it. But most of the time, I felt like changing the dosage didn't change much, and on worse scenarios, I felt like the medication made me more productive, at the cost of making me feel tense, robotic and souless inside (of course I may be cherry picking, but I remember those times clearly)

And because of those experiences, plus many other reasons that won't fit here and that I don't feel comfortable to share, and because of me not liking the way people use clinical terms for everything online, like calling anything a "copying mechanism", "abuse", "trauma", etc, I'm just tired of therapy language and content related to psychiatric stuff, that I'm trying to avoid engaging with professionals and topics related to excessive psychology and mental functioning stuff, for my mental sanity, because this topic feels bad for me, makes me neurotic. I dont even want to debate these times or prove professionals wrong anymore, I just want to forget all this and live blissfull ignorance or whatever.

But my family doesn't seem to accept "no" as answer.

Two aunts of mine, one who lives with me, asked me if she could appoint me to a psychiatrist that worked for her friend's son, and on the first times I said an hesitant "maybe" cause I'm kinda people-pleaser, but last time I said no, and gave a brief explanation of why, explaining my past relationship with therapy quickly to avoid oversharing feelings I'm not confortable oversharing with them.

Then, last week, my other aunt, who changed messages with the one previously mentioned, asked me in person, and since I wasn't expecting the question, I felt actually drowsy, like, I tried to control myself, but I was feeling like I needed to sit, and she noticed that and so I ended up being helped by her for me to go to bed. And when she asked if the reason was the question about appointing a psychiatric, I nodded and said that that was really the reason. And STILL, after me barely recovering, she started arguing for why I should go to one. I couldn't believe she was doing that.

Then, the next day, she appointed one for me, I cancelled a day later, since I'm over 18 I can do it on my behalf. And sent a message saying for her please to not appoint one. (she doesnt know that I cancelled it yet, I'm scared of the reaction)

Then days later, today, she responded to the message not with respectful tolerance, but with a long text wanting to convince me again. I don't even know how to deal with this shit anymore, I wasnt even expect a response like that, after me saying no and literally feeling physically ill after being questioned, I wasnt expecting THAT level of control. Today my cousin, who said that my aunt talked to him about it, quickly shared his past on why therapy and medications was good for him and that he regrets to have resisted before.

I know I could just accept it for them to stop asking me and insisting, but I DON'T WANT to do this to myself anymore, I've hurt myself a lot for following hiveminds or following environmental suggestions and pressure, and absorbing toxic beliefs from bad environments because I stayed in that environment cause I didnt distance myself, even when the consequences were bad for my mental health.

At this point to me it's not just a matter of whether medication works or not, it's a matter of me needing to learn how to say no to suggestions that feel toxic to me and influences that I don't want to think about anymore. Learn to belive more in myself instead of people-pleasing or letting unwanted influences control my beliefs. . If I dont do this for cancelling an appointment, how would I be ready for saying "no" to expectations when it comes to larger decisions in life? Even if they turned out to have been right this time, I don't want to give them the satisfaction of being able to say "i told you so"

Isso não é necessariamente pra ser 100% anti-conservador ou 100% anticapitalista, mas apenas apontar uma falha clara no discurso neoconservador, e os conservadores atuais, que defendem preservação dos costumes antigos, religião e valores tradicionais, ao mesmo tempo que defendem empresários,capitalismo atual, liberalismo econômico ou Estados Unidos.

Capitalismo e conservadorismo cultural não são necessariamente forças antagônicas sempre, mas tendem a poder ser facilmente a qualquer momento, pois uma não atende aos interesses da outra quando lhes é conveniente.

A própria estrutura intrínseca das empresas e de como o capitalismo funciona diz que, se a prioridade for o lucro, então, numa sociedade onde jogar os valores tradicionais fora, for mais lucrativo do que manter o discurso conservador, as empresas tenderiam naturalmente a "Deturpar a família, valores" etc etc

E não daria pra culpar apenas os progressistas, wokes e etc nisso, porque mesmo sem intervenção deles, a lógica ainda se mantém...

Se der mais lucro pra acionistas xingar o cristianismo por exemplo, vão xingar sem dó, não por causa apenas de um intervenção esquerdista, mas porque simplesmente é assim que o capital funciona. Portanto, um discurso conservador coerente seria eles serem anticomunistas, e ao mesmo tempo anti-liberalismo econômico. Mas eu imagino que o motivo de tal discurso não ocorrer nos conservadores, é porque o movimento neoconservador foi e incentivado pelo governo dos EUA, historicamente.

As grandes empresas, o design delas é pra elas seguirem a lógica do "enquanto você estiver ganhando eu te ajudo, assim que você começar a perder eu te esfaqueio pelas costas". 100% chaotic neutral

Eu fico indignado que eu já aguentei muita porra calado nessa vida. Já sugaram tudo que tinha no meu peito. Já não tenho mais forças nas pernas pra levantar e caminhar.

Já levei golpe pela frente e por trás, e não param de enfiar problemas goela abaixo. Um vazio muito grande, criaram buracos profundos dentro de mim, de tanto ser arregaçado por outros.

I only feel sexual interest in women and the crushes I had in life were women too... I'm not really sure if I can be considered aroace since I do feel sexual desire and libido and have had crushes (or what I think crushes are) before, but I also, based on my teen years, I don't think I was a "normal" teenager compared to my peers at the time.

When I felt crushes, I didn't like feeling that sensation of blushing around the person and wanting to look at them, because I felt like dating and marrying are things that don't fit me, because I enjoy being independent and such. And also cause I was very focused on studying to get good grades, so I felt like my priority should be studying at school instead of looking at my crush at class, and at home I just wanted to play games, watch my stuff, do my hobbies, invite friends over, study for tests and do homework.

so I felt like girfriends and wives are a relationship attachment that requires lots of emotional laborm attention-giving and responsibility that I didn't wan to have, and such. Especially if the couple wants kids

And usually, when I those saw memes of people my age feeling bad for not having a girlfriend, those self-deprecative ones I couldn't relate to those memes even though I myself never had an actual girlfriend... My sensation seeing those memes was of not understanding, like: "Why is it so important to them? I don't get why care so much"

. And even though in my teen years I did want to know what sex and kissing felt like, wanted to feel the pleasure of it and do it if it ever happened, and had my sexual fantasies, urges ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶c̶o̶g̶n̶i̶t̶o̶ ̶p̶a̶g̶e̶s̶ ... like any young person, compared to my classmates, I didn't feel like I put any priority into actually trying this stuff with an actual person when on scale of comparison to them, who actively sought partners or people to kiss at parties, much less dating.

or questioning sexuality wasn't a thing for me too, I saw myself as basically a straight guy , before I knew the terms aromantic and asexual existed..... And to this day, I don't feel comfortable with the idea of having sex with someone who actually love me romantically... When I imagine a relationship like that for me... it's a paradox where the more I imagine myself in love with someone, the less I want to do sexual stuff.

As a teen I usually said that I'd never marry, because I wanted to be independent and felt like marriages are doomed to end in boredom,

because most couple of people 50 and older around me didn't seem, at least on the outside, outside their rooms, in public, to have as much chemistry as young couples had in my perspective.. I rarely saw older adult couples kissing in public, saying "love you" ocasionally or touching each other or speaking gently to each other, so I thought that "hmm, so usually when people marry, it becomes boring and shallow in the future, but people stick to it out of habit and to take care of the kids. Don't want that to myself"

And I didn't really care so much about having a girlfriend when I was younger. as a teen, most of the times I suspected a girl was interested in me, my reaction wasn't pride or interest, but wanting to make her stop being interested in me. I acted uncaring or cold/quiet when she got too close, to sign disinterest, and to see if I would look less attractive to her, without needing to hurt her by saying "no" outright.

Nowadays I'm more open to the possibility, but I wouldn't actively seek it, only if it does happen by life events I could try to welcome it.

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Um vídeo(4 min) resumido sobre o tema: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLJBzhcSWTk

I noticed that the she only has 1 door in the house. If this ain't the bathroom, then how is she living without a bathroom bro

I noticed that the she only has 1 door in the house. If this ain't the bathroom, then how is she living without a bathroom bro

I noticed that the she only has 1 door in the house. If this ain't the bathroom, then how is she living without a bathroom bro

Can Asriel Knight still make sense after chapter 5?

I've subscribed to Asriel Knight theory before chapter 5, still go for Asriel Knight because of the previous evidence before chapter 5,

but given what happened in chapter 5, can asriel knight still be relevant? After all, rudy fell down and carol had things to solve in the bunker, and also had to deal with rudy's falling down... And then the knight only appeared at the end of chapter... Which could be easily explained if either carol or rudy are the knight, after all they were busy, so it could explain the knight being late.

Carol Knight would then make the most sense if we go by this evidence alone, since she was busy with taking care of rudy and going to the bunker, but it's so obvious and predictable that, given how unpredictable deltarune has been, I can't truly believe toby would make a mistery so predictable

The explanation I can think of for Asriel, would be that Asriel waited until the festival was gone, so that he could walk around town without being discovered. And it could explain why Asriel didn't show up for the festival.(he'd technically have shown up, but as the knight without anyone knowing that)

Chapter 5 spoilers

Ironically this is a very ralsei-thing to say, getting frustrated at a character breaking the script too much, but like, I don't see why toby would break the pattern so suddenly. This whole chapter felt like the characters emotions and development from previous chapters were so... exaggerated, intensitified compared to what in-universe was literally yesterday,, for the sake of fanservice maybe?. For example, we got the development of ralsei becoming more prone to sharing stuff in chapter 4, and susie slowly helping him get more assertive and "bad boy", and him wanting to defy the prophecy or at least find a happy ending... But he's still acting like "the fluffy boi who never gets mad" all time in chapter 4, or almost all the time.

But then in chapter 5 we got almost interrupt hours of him exploding in anger and lashing out all time? It felt to me like toby saw fans posts of wanting to see a more "badass" ralsei and enjoying the development that susie gave to him, and then, just like many other things in this chapter, hurried up to make it canon as soon as possible for the sake of us fans, as fast as he could before the grand finale of chapters 6-7.

Like, many may have found it cool, but to me it broke the pattern of gradual change previousy stabilished for all other characters(Susie had this fast change too in chapter 2, but I can't explain why, but to me ralsei change felt even more sudden than susie change from 1 to 2) Ralsei spent 4 chapters changing gradually, then suddenly he feels like a completely different character from his previous behavior and personality, in the spam of a day(in-game?) It felt too fast to me

Idk if this fits here, but... The more I went deeper into the rabbit hole of thinking about concepts related to questions like "what is reality?'/ consciouness/ free will and spiritual search...

also since noticing the radical politization thats been happening since before pandemic, t

ohe more I feel like one of the "nightmares" of living as a human being, of having to living in society, one that we're mostly not aware of because we're usually so deep into our convictions that we rarely examine this... i feel like one of the most stressfull parts about living in this reality that we experience, whether its an illusion or not, is the constant uncertainty and unpredictability of what even reality itself actually is, but all of us try to act like it isn't, until we notice how fragile beliefs actually are.

For example: On spiritual topics, there are many many different branches trying to explain what reality is and why our lives are that... Religions, spiritual explanations, etc... Those explanatioms may or may not be more true, I'm not saying all of them are equally valid. But deep down, when we put the pride aside and truly just for example, enter a large library and notice how many different points of views are contained from differemt books and ideologies in a single library, without sticking to what WE believe.. It gets hard to not notice that wbat we call "our point view" will always be based on limited information assembled together in our minds.

On modern world the dominant viewpoint/explanation of reality and human experience, is the scientific one... So dominant that whenever we use the word "scientific" or "backed by science" for an assertion, it loses the status of opinion.

Even I do that, because of how much I grew up on that. But then, in the end, even the most empirical/non-abstract methods, like experiments, are still actually, in the end, abstractions and partially "guessing"... Because the entire scientific method of study for example relies on philosophical assumptions that not only cannot be scientifically proven to always be true...

(like, you can't make "the experiment that proves that anything can be proven with experiments" for example)...

But also these same assumptions, question themselves when using the own method. Our minds perceive the world in a 3D,linear way, in terms of causes and consequences and "B happens after A"...

And yet... When scientists study the quantum world... Causality and time, as perceived by the human mind is shown to be a complicated incomprehensible mess that even quantum psycists struggle to explain wtf actually happens in the matrix... And yet, most of the knowledge we have in our daily lives and learn at school, including those discovered by scientists, like school psychics, school chemistry, enginerring, biology, natomy, neuroscience etc... Aren't "truths" in the end, since all those "truths*, as much as we think the opposite, dependended completely on discoveries made with limited perceptions and imited mental states, seeing the world in a causal, linear way like we all see during our daily lives.

And why did I write all this long point? To show how we live in a reality of psychological warfare, wanting certainty about topics, from the most basic ones like day-to-dag to the deepest ones like the spiritual/philosophical ones, in a reality that guarantees none, even in the most philosophical and abstract level. All certainties are viewpoints in its core...

Both in the metaphorical sense, and the psychological one

Part of escaping the matrix of suffering may be, as Buddha said, let go of not only external attachments, but the deepest mental ones, like the attachment we all have to find explanations for our lives to make sense objectively