i
text talk sing hum walk sit cry THINK
like a girl
every mannerism I have is inherently feminine
i’m so sensitive
like a girl
It’s just fragile masculinity at this point and i know it
it all bothers me
it’s pathetic
and gross
i just want to BE a boy
but
im
not
and everyone knows it
so
i
should
NEED
to
stop
pretending
And just go back to being a good
daughter granddaughter sister niece girlfriend
because its easier for all of us
to
forget
he
ever
existed
right?
keep doing it and even right after i just want to do it again.
im out of room
i feel like I'm screaming into an empty void and it doesn’t even matter
i feel like i could scream into everyones face and no one would fucking care
i just want to talk to someone and someone CARE
can someone please care
its so pathetic im literally on reddit begging someone to pay attention to me
i just want to feel better
i just want to feel
i
text talk sing hum walk sit cry THINK
like a girl
every mannerism I have is inherently feminine
i’m so sensitive
like a girl
It’s just fragile masculinity at this point and i know it
it all bothers me
it’s pathetic
and gross
i just want to BE a boy
but
im
not
and everyone knows it
so
i
should
NEED
to
stop
pretending
And just go back to being a good
daughter granddaughter sister niece girlfriend
because its easier for all of us
to
forget
he
ever
existed
right?
I used to think i may be Genderfluid because how i present can change a lot day to day
some days i may over-bind, cry over how long my hair is, cannot stand any misgendering/ deadnaming. just overall so so dysphoric
and other days i’ll be completely fine wearing skirts, tighter clothes, normal bras, low cut shirts, makeup, painted nails, not rlly dysphoric about it
but the thing is i just am so so so so SO much more comfortable being referred to in a masculine way no matter how i dress
i LOVE dressing rlly feminine and still being referred to with my preferred name and such, it makes me so happy
I’ve seen others, content creaters i love dressing rlly feminine and masc and it makes me so happy and makes me feel less bad about it
but is that wrong? Is it offensive? am i faking?
I indentify as transmasc, a trans man.
it feels right, im not a women, im mlm, but… is that okay????
am i allowed to dress feminine and not experience dysphoria some days and still be considered a man??
I just wish i was “breaking gender stereotypes” instead of feeling invalid in my identity
i was kinda just messing around, and left basically scratches if that but
i truly have to be THE least intelligent mf ever
will these be gone when i wake up 😭🙏
bled like a SMALLLLL amount, but im a little screwed bc my parents do checks sometimes, someone tell me ts wont be visible tommorow like actually.
i put bath and body works lotion on them but bro its like everywhere
like actually yo someone tell me ts will be gone within a day MAX like bro
how do i fucking SPEED HEAL this shit
if i apply lotion every like 30 min will this shit be gone faster
PLS I LEGIT HAVE TO KNOW
idk where to post this i feel REALLY weird like paranoid like really bad for no reason and its like scaring the fuck out of me i literally dont know what the fuck is happening like actually, i havent taken anything i actually feel really really really weird and its like actually really scaring me i literally dont know what to do like physically i feel weird and i feel like theres like shit like behind me like actually WTF like i sound like a tweaker or something like I feel strange, this isn’t even coherent i dont know what to do like i feel like im in a video game or something and something bad is about to happen like an unskippable cut scene, this is certainly not the correct place but idk where else to post? crazy ass mfs losing their minds would fit me pretty good rn
i really dont cut deep but i also have no idea what layer i usually cut to? how do you all just know this stuff 😭😭
i just feel so alone and gross because most of my newer/deeper scars are all lower than my belly button, basically the area always covered by underwear/ bikini bottoms is scars and i feel like no one else has scars there :(
does anyone else have scars here?
Aside from the actual physical harm and the fact that its just an unhealthy coping mechanism, i feel like i never see people talk about just how deep the addiction can run.
I personally have physical urges, in which i’ll shake and feel nauseous when i don't cut, i’ll have dreams about cutting that can be very gruesome and disturbing, sometimes i’ll basically have flashbacks of cutting/ old wounds of mine at random times and all i can think about and see is me cutting in the past, or just looking at places I’ve never cut and imagining cuts all over
I guess i just want to know if this happens to anyone else
i dont know why im like this, when i do cut its not particularly bad at all, usually pretty shallow but i have been cutting for around 4 years now
even being clean for a few weeks can trigger all those things and i just feel really ashamed of it ig? like why am i unable to function without it
why do i MISS it on such a level that it infiltrates every aspect of my mind. i know its an addiction but is it like this for everyone else?
does it ever go away?
pretty self explanatory, never done literally any substances so im a tad nervous.
Prolly gonna get Savita and im really only planning on getting high at night
any tips or fun/stupid shit i should try?
^^^ (within reason, cant really leave the house or anything too wild as i still live w my parents + siblings)
also, is it usually noticeable? like i always call my boyfriend at night and he kindaa looks down on ts and really wasnt a fan when i brought it up a few weeks ago, will he notice just like, by my voice or anything??
also ive heard weed zens you out, so i dont have to worry it’ll trigger any mental health related shit right?
MB just first timer questions i guess
im SO pissed
i bought a new pencil sharpener thing for the blades, go home to take it apart and its a weird one where its LITERALLY impossible to reach the screws AND the screws are safety screws
okay so there goes that.
Had a used pencil sharpener i actually used for eyeliner and colored pencils so i washed that one and my current one
went to use it.
THEY BOTH STARTED FUCKING RUSTING OH MY GOD.
i dont use knives and i live in a small town and i cant drive, ive alr looked through everyones rooms and no one has anything, literally wtf.
also im like out of room where i cut :/
i have STRICT ass parents and ive been caught before and i was genuinely grounded for 8 months so im not gonna risk it during summer
I WANT IT TO BE WINTER SO SO BAD OMFG.
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE SUMMER
atp am genuinely considering walking the 20 minutes to the dollar store near me just to see if they have any, which last time i managed to go in while ny dad was in the car they some didnt (If my parents found out they would KILLLL me its on a main road :////)
are the straight up razors like, the ones you would use for like single bladed shaving razors like a lot sharper than the blades in pencil sharpeners? And are they alllwaaays locked up? Ik they are at walmart.
I think I most definitely have some internalized transphobia, I just hate it so much.
I’m 16, and I DO NOT PASS. I’m 5’4 and i just look so feminine.
I hate hate hate telling people, but these people are important to me and sometimes I can’t stand them misgendering me all the time.
When I tell anyone I just feel disgusting.
I know no one sees me as a guy, no one ever will.
This is all probably a phase or something so why am I forcing everyone to go along with my delusional ass, I’m a girl and everyone knows that so why am I trying to be anything different.
i even feel terrible when people use my correct pronouns/ preferred name. it’s so awkward and I just know that its weird for other people and like I just hate that I’m like this.
no one ever uses He/Him for me either.
He/They
but it’s always They/Them or ppl straight up forget and use She/Her
I just want to be okay with who I am.
On one hand I would do fucking anything to trade bodies like I just want to be a man. I want to be a man so so bad and I hate that I never will be. it scares me to admit how badly I really do want to be a man.
but on the other; I doubt myself a lot, like am I really trans tho? I mean yeah I literally always prefer being referred to in masculine ways; but sometimes it dosent like bother me a ton if im referred to as and look like a girl yk? like sometimes I CAN and DO wear a push up bra cause I want to, so am I even really a guy? I guess I could be genderfluid but idk. trans feels right, like… idk I think I really am trans. but it scares me so much and when I tell people I freak out and I’ve started telling people I’m genderfluid again because it’s just easier for everyone else to stop pretending because they feel bad for me.
For YEARS I have debated whether I like men or not, do I like men romantically but not sexually? Is it the other way around? Am I too young to know if I like men like that (im 16 BFFR) another thing, every time a guy likes me, every time I date a guy, I like it at first okay, fully into it, fully reciprocate it but then a week or so goes by and I freak out and I start to think I don’t like them. At all. and I panic and I drop them and this has happened so many times.
Now to my best friend, we’ve known each other since 7th grade (we’re going into 11th now) and we’ve dated on and off and every time its me freaking out and breaking up with him because I get all panicked and think I don’t like guys. But it KEEPS HAPPENING. And now he has a girlfriend (who he said he realistically dosent see himself being with for more than like 6 months MAX) and I had a talking stage with a girl and now I think I like him like no I don’t even just think I like him like I think I’m in love with him. But even if something were to happen between us I’m scared I’ll randomly start to panic and think I don’t like guys. My only thing is, kinda embarrassing but it’s why I’m so unsure, I’ve never like kissed anyone or anything like that, i don’t have experience and in general the though of that kinda scares me, with anyone. but I’m so sick of doing this esp because even if it’s not romantic I really love him and I don’t want to keep upsetting him when I do this or even anyone in general.
I think I just have terrible commitment issues
PLEASE GIVE ME ANY ADVICE GENUINELY I BEG LIKE ANY THOUGHTS PLEASE
(TW for Self-Harm)
For context, I’ve always had anger issues, since I was very very young it’s been obvious I have issues regulating big emotions but specifically anger. Both of my parents ALSO have anger issues so I was never really taught how to deal with it in a correct way. I'm sure there’s earlier instances but the first I can recall is from when I was around 7, I got really frustrated over something I can’t even remember I jst like Lost my shit, yeah when I get mad I usually would cry but like that time I started hitting myself w whatever it was I was mad at, like a barbie or wtv, so since around 7 I’ve been unknowingly self-harming, I would hit myself, scratch my arms up, kick things, pull my hair, bang my head. That stuff would happen a lot, eventually as I got a little older things like that stopped happening as often, still happened just few and far between. In middle school I started cutting, I was probably like 12 or something? That basically cured my anger issues in my eyes, instead of having uncontrolled outbursts, I was just picking when I would have them and cut then.
Fast forward to now, I’m 16, cut for like 3 years barely every quitting, got caught and stopped for like 9 months and now I’m back at it. The issue is that despite still cutting, it’s almost like I’m fucking 7 years old again and just having these terrible outbursts over NOTHING, I once again jst get so upset I hit myself and shit, like okay so am I 5 and having a tantrum like what’s going on? Im doing pretty shit in general but Ive been doing shit for the past 5 years so it’s not that anything drastic has happened just now that would explain it. I feel completely unable to regulate myself in any way, I immediately start sobbing/ crying and go back to those older SH methods AND then I cut and it still happens. genuinely I’m like embarrassed because wtf do you mean I just cannot cope with my phone glitching… like uhhh why did I loose my whole mind? Genuinely please like someone try and explain why this could be happening
Nonsensical Vent/Rant written at 1am without my glasses, bear with me </3
genuinely was jst laying in bed, chilling since I was about to go to bed and I accidentally clicked on the “home” app and ig it set off a very common bug on iPhones where something pops up, basically you’re unable to do anything, your phone cannot be shut off the normal way, won’t unlock, you can’t accept or decline the thing, it was SUPER annoying and I freaked out, I have an iPad and another old iPhone so I easily can google things, but I was struggling to comprehend the simple shit ppl said easily fixed it for them bc I was so so upset and mad. I finally got it to work but I was so fucking mad i immediately went and SH and still it just made me so so so mad, like so mad when it happened I started crying and I was shaking like a whole ass meltdown over….. a little bug that was fixed in 2 minutes?? I obviously have anger issues and have for a long time I mean thats been known but it toned down when I started SH a few years ago but small stuff still gets me so mad and I get so frusterated (tried to spell this 100 times genuinely another example I genuinely cannot.) like why can’t I cope with these things like everyone else?? I just want to be normal.
I’ve struggled with cutting for around 3-4 years now (mainly on upper thighs)
in August 2025 my parents found out, they kinda lost their fucking minds and obviously took all my shit and would do DAILY body checks for cuts/ any signs of SH, slowly it went from daily to weekly to monthly and now like 3-6 months may pass between each time they ask to physically see. (just to clarify they never ask me to take off my underwear or anything)
BUT because they’re so hyper aware and worried I may self harm, it makes hiding it so hard, and therefore when I do cut, I cut shallow or in the MINIMAL space they won’t look. This all makes me feel REALLY invalid, I don’t cut where most people do, I cut shallow, my old scars are white and only rlly visible in direct sunlight, and any new ones are so hidden It just feels invalid anyways.
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