Just finnished this a day after i died in my 10 month long world

Im 17 in foster care in wales and get benifits. I dont know why but my cares still have control over jt and get defensive about it when ever i express that I thjnk I should have control over it since im moving out at 18.

They use manipulation alot to get there way and I didnt realise until my friend pointed it out. My friend told me about one of there friends and the fact there cares prep them for independent living which included managing money.

My cares dont explain stuf properly and then use the fact I misunderstood as a way to show they was right which made me make mistakes with my money in the past that i learnt from.

Right now I want to get control of my benifits because I need to learn to drive ASAP because of collage and me wanting to get a job .

But my cares keep saying they have to be my adviser or something when if I had control over it I could just do everything my self instead of going through like 3 people

Sorry for wording this poorly and rambling alot.

Is this situation normal and what can I do about it.

Im 17 in foster care in wales and get benifits. I dont know why but my cares still have control over jt and get defensive about it when ever i express that I thjnk I should have control over it since im moving out at 18.

They use manipulation alot to get there way and I didnt realise until my friend pointed it out. My friend told me about one of there friends and the fact there cares prep them for independent living which included managing money.

My cares dont explain stuf properly and then use the fact I misunderstood as a way to show they was right which made me make mistakes with my money in the past that i learnt from.

Right now I want to get control of my benifits because I need to learn to drive ASAP because of collage and me wanting to get a job .

But my cares keep saying they have to be my adviser or something when if I had control over it I could just do everything my self instead of going through like 3 people

Sorry for wording this poorly and rambling alot.

Is this situation normal and what can I do about it.

I fort this was normal but apparently its not aloud because they are aerposed to get payed for me to go to restbite with a separate thing but idk if that is accurate.

Im 17 m and have had restbite for nearly 9 years now

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So in the last year's has been the worst of my life.

On September 16th 2024 I found out my friend of 3 years was using me and ended up getting me harassed for something he did online.

On 29th I lost my dog to a spine injury, she was only 3. The dog was more of a family than I ever had and with my past struggles I sayd to my self thst if she dies ill end it too. I didnt and I dont know how to feel about it.

Fast forward to November 26th I lost a friend to suicide. I knew him for a year but he was the only human I had that understood me and acted like they cared.

On February 27th I found out another of my friends passed to a over dose. At this point I started to numb my self to try to act like everything was fine because the last time beflre that that this type of stuf happend I took it out on others but I learnt early on to take it out on my self because no one notices. I did reach out for help around March which helped but not much.

On may 2nd I had my first relationship. First person I felt a true connection with in that way. But on june 16th my dog died that I had for over 9 years. Stage 4 liver cancer. At thst point I didn't say about me being fked cus of grief but I sayd I needed some time to my self.

2 days later I found out my dad died. The reason that the fostering team gave was a infection from a amputation. This hit harder than I fort or wouldnof liked it to becausr the last time i saw him was when I was 2 ... dont remember what he looked like and couldn't even say goodbye.

After my dad died I my gf of 1 and a half months sayd she thinks I'm cheating because insayf I needed space because someone close died.

Tbh Im glad she dumped me lol

Throughout all this my cares knew what was happening. But didn't talk to me or try to help. I had to reach out to get help and hid it by saying I was teaching ukulele.

Im now in a situation where they're blaming me for stuf and guilt tripping me when I'm trying to be independent.

Is it normal to feel alone after having this happen.

Its been a year now since it happend snd im stable ish but mostly because ive shuvef it bsck to the side of my head that makes it serpressed so I csnt remember it or think about it.

All I wanted was a "are you ok " but all I got was

He's acting like this because we hes jelus of the other child. Im not jelus I just wanted to be seen as a person for once instead of a pay check.

So in the last year's has been the worst of my life.

On September 16th 2024 I found out my friend of 3 years was using me and ended up getting me harassed for something he did online.

On 29th I lost my dog to a spine injury, she was only 3. The dog was more of a family than I ever had and with my past struggles I sayd to my self thst if she dies ill end it too. I didnt and I dont know how to feel about it.

Fast forward to November 26th I lost a friend to suicide. I knew him for a year but he was the only human I had that understood me and acted like they cared.

On February 27th I found out another of my friends passed to a over dose. At this point I started to numb my self to try to act like everything was fine because the last time beflre that that this type of stuf happend I took it out on others but I learnt early on to take it out on my self because no one notices. I did reach out for help around March which helped but not much.

On may 2nd I had my first relationship. First person I felt a true connection with in that way. But on june 16th my dog died that I had for over 9 years. Stage 4 liver cancer. At thst point I didn't say about me being fked cus of grief but I sayd I needed some time to my self.

2 days later I found out my dad died. The reason that the fostering team gave was a infection from a amputation. This hit harder than I fort or wouldnof liked it to becausr the last time i saw him was when I was 2 ... dont remember what he looked like and couldn't even say goodbye.

After my dad died I my gf of 1 and a half months sayd she thinks I'm cheating because insayf I needed space because someone close died.

Tbh Im glad she dumped me lol

Throughout all this my cares knew what was happening. But didn't talk to me or try to help. I had to reach out to get help and hid it by saying I was teaching ukulele.

Im now in a situation where they're blaming me for stuf and guilt tripping me when I'm trying to be independent.

Is it normal to feel alone after having this happen.

Its been a year now since it happend snd im stable ish but mostly because ive shuvef it bsck to the side of my head that makes it serpressed so I csnt remember it or think about it.

All I wanted was a "are you ok " but all I got was

He's acting like this because we hes jelus of the other child. Im not jelus I just wanted to be seen as a person for once instead of a pay check.

# Short summery of situation

My cares are in control of my pip when im competent and have a serveer lack of communication which is effecting how I feel like they are handling my situation.

They kept mail for me that had info about my benifits, they havent been preparing me for adulthood at all and taking credit for everything ive done my self, they use guilt to try to keep me in there control snd to make me feel like I'm doing stuf rong.

They are also making desisions without me about my life meaning I dont get a say in what's happening that could effect my life in the future.

They have control over everything but act too busy to give a f about me.

UPDATE

Sooo update from my last post I made. ( im in wales in the up )

My social worker is back from leave and I now have a call with her on monday.

But I am not sure what I should and should not bring up.

My plan is to tell her about these

Asking about my pip and why I don't have control over it and if its linked to fostering.

What my Plan is for when I am 18 (i am 17 right now) and the fact it feels like I dont have a choice for when I am older.

Ask about what options there is for when I move out.

And the fact they are not including me fully in desisions like about them setting up mobility or something ( idk what its called ) which will effect my pip but may or may not benifit me.

And maby if it gets brought up the fact they are out all the time meaning im not getting the support needed for preparing me for moving out.

Do these sound ok or would it be better to not being up some of them ?

Me 17m resantly found out my cares havent been doing stuf the right way with my benifits and there's a lack of contamination thsts effecting my relationship with them.

They have control over my benifits and have used it as a excuse to monitor or withdraw me from getting my money.

They also arnt twling me or giving me a choise to move out. They constantly say I want to stsy anf " we " are thinking not " I think " menaing im scared of getting stuck.

There's been other stuf come up such as lack of attention to injurys when they happen or if they dont think its real. I went a yeat without out getting my finger checked when I ead being told to by everyone. It took me brining it up in a meeting with my IRO to get a appointment setup. Because they fort I didn't need it.

They are also saying im avoiding them when trying to be more independent which makes trying to be a person my age alot harder and they use guilt alot to get there way.

What should I involve in the message ? They know about the medical thing but not my side of the benifits dtuf or the fact they don't tell me stuf.

It feels like im being ignored alot since I started being independent and the tence feeling is getting worse becausr of me not keeping the peace for the first time in 11 years

Me 17m resantly found out my cares havent been doing stuf the right way with my benifits and there's a lack of contamination thsts effecting my relationship with them.

They have control over my benifits and have used it as a excuse to monitor or withdraw me from getting my money.

They also arnt twling me or giving me a choise to move out. They constantly say I want to stsy anf " we " are thinking not " I think " menaing im scared of getting stuck.

There's been other stuf come up such as lack of attention to injurys when they happen or if they dont think its real. I went a yeat without out getting my finger checked when I ead being told to by everyone. It took me brining it up in a meeting with my IRO to get a appointment setup. Because they fort I didn't need it.

They are also saying im avoiding them when trying to be more independent which makes trying to be a person my age alot harder and they use guilt alot to get there way.

What should I involve in the message ? They know about the medical thing but not my side of the benifits dtuf or the fact they don't tell me stuf.

So me 17m in foster csre jn the UK. Last year I had a acudent in climbing because my player was distracted when my foot slipped while I was with my fjnger between 2 holds.

I had a X ray because looked messed up and red. I knew it wasnt broken or i fort but I knew sometjkng was off and the minor injurys unit didn't give us any info or ssy what to do.

A couple of months after it got to the point in the pic aboth and installed to.get tolf to.get it checked.

It took a year of complaining anf me saying what happend to my IRO for my cares to actually get the a apointent and even then it took 3 months.

Turns out my hyper mobility fked the tissue holding the tendon in place and it shifted.

Am I stupid for thinking cares act like this normally and thst they are fine.

I ended also getting a 121 session with a instructor to help fjnd out how to help it heal after 1 and a half years of pain.t

So me 17m in foster csre jn the UK. Last year I had a acudent in climbing because my player was distracted when my foot slipped while I was with my fjnger between 2 holds.

I had a X ray because looked messed up and red. I knew it wasnt broken or i fort but I knew sometjkng was off and the minor injurys unit didn't give us any info or ssy what to do.

A couple of months after it got to the point in the pic aboth and installed to.get tolf to.get it checked.

It took a year of complaining anf me saying what happend to my IRO for my cares to actually get the a apointent and even then it took 3 months.

Turns out my hyper mobility fked the tissue holding the tendon in place and it shifted.

Am I stupid for thinking cares act like this normally and thst they are fine.

I ended also getting a 121 session with a instructor to help fjnd out how to help it heal after 1 and a half years of pain.t

So me 17m resantly found mail addressed to me from the DWP about how to claim my pip.

I came across it with sll the info sbout pip I would of needed this whole time while looking for my exam results in a draw.

I went to someone sbout it asking if it wsd normsl to not be involved snf they was confused why I didn't get the chance to control it. Havent had support to learn how to use money properly and didn't get the mail which was directed to me.

Apparently to become my appointy they would of had to have me interviewed or somethjng to become my appointy when I turned 16. Which never happend.

How could theh have dome ths without me being involved?

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so resantly ive been questioning everything my cares have done in the reasant years because ive found some desterbing patterns which i wont get fully into. but i was looking through my messages and found one where they asked for my National Insurance number and didnt explain why and i sayd i dont know because i didnt want to give it without info and they then asked one my other cares to look for it and idk what they used it for but tehre exuse was for fostering but idk what they would use it for. is this normal ? they constantly keep me in the dark about stuf and it pees me off soo much

So im 17 with cares that dont talk to me and have vontrol over everything including my benifits which is changing soon hopefully.

I've realised resantly that I dont know what the hell ima do when im 18 because my csres arnt prepping me at all for it and have been trying to take credit for stuf ive been doing to help my self instead.

I have high functioning autism and dyspraxia with dyslexia which does effect my life but not to the point I'm incapable of doing stuf. The only thing I cant do is eye contact but that's not a independence skill lol

What would ypu do to support me if you was my cares ?