u/Foreign_Business5398

Like, I always viewed (more or less daydreamed) myself as extremely important to others. Like, I constantly fantasize about how every girl I meet is in love with me. Even female friends, which absolutely disgusts me that I think like this. I always viewed myself as a main character of sorts and would feel bad if I didn’t appear as an interesting enough protagonist. And I can’t help but think I’m this amazing person even though I’m really just… okay. And I have this sense of entitlement that good things should happen to me bc I do good things for others. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely enjoy doing good things for people. It’s just I can’t help but think I should be appreciated for my good efforts. It’s kind of a devil on my shoulder thing. I literally hate my brain and I hate living like this.

Like, I always viewed (more or less daydreamed) myself as extremely important to others. Like, I constantly fantasize about how every girl I meet is in love with me. Even female friends, which absolutely disgusts me that I think like this. I always viewed myself as a main character of sorts and would feel bad if I didn’t appear as an interesting enough protagonist. And I can’t help but think I’m this amazing person even though I’m really just… okay. And I have this sense of entitlement that good things should happen to me bc I do good things for others. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely enjoy doing good things for people. It’s just I can’t help but think I should be appreciated for my good efforts. It’s kind of a devil on my shoulder thing. I literally hate my brain and I hate living like this.

I really, really like my coworker. I tend to get super obsessed easily but I genuinely felt connected with her. I remember the first time I met her and she told me everything about her family. I don’t remember much of it but I wanted to learn more. There are deadass specific things I like about her. My feelings for someone has never felt so real yet so unrefined. This is new territory for me. Maybe I just have had VERY shallow feelings for people up until this moment.

For the entire battle that it would turn level 30? Right after it turns level 30? Right before it turns level 30?

I’m not good with math someone help me out here. I’m trying to find a modest nature Ralts with the ability synchronize. Ralts is found in route 4 with a 5% encounter rate. After you encounter one, there’s 4% chance of getting the nature you want. But there’s a 50/50 chance that the Ralts has synchronize as its ability. What is the overall chance that everything lines up correctly?

Like I heard the word in phrase “you will be paid (blank).” I think it ends with -ly and begins with h. The word is graceful.

Whenever I interact with someone I feel like I did it wrong. Most of the time I feel this way.

Idk how to act and behave. It just doesn’t feel right. I feel like a different person everyday. I feel like I can’t trust myself and what I say. Idk if what I’m saying is real or not. I feel like I lack control over my own brain. I constantly doubt myself and sometimes idk what is real and what isn’t. Idk if I feel like I’m actually this way or I am lying to myself. I’ve felt like this for so long (or have I?) idk man. Idk what my beliefs and values are and I feel like a husk. I just feel like white noise. I can’t and can describe things at the same time. Idk if I’m spiraling or not. I probably am but can’t be JUST that. There has to be something more. I have intrusive thoughts all the time and I constantly make things up in my head that I think are real. It can’t be just anxiety. It just can’t idk what to do. My psychiatrist says this is normal stuff for ADHD and Autism. But I’ve never said all this stuff exactly before. Im in a self aware flow state right now lol. But I’ve never been in one during my visits so idk if I’m giving him correct information. I just can’t trust myself.

Whenever I interact with someone I feel like I did it wrong. Most of the time I feel this way.

Idk how to act and behave. It just doesn’t feel right. I feel like a different person everyday. I feel like I can’t trust myself and what I say. Idk if what I’m saying is real or not. I feel like I lack control over my own brain. I constantly doubt myself and sometimes idk what is real and what isn’t. Idk if I feel like I’m actually this way or I am lying to myself. I’ve felt like this for so long (or have I?) idk man. Idk what my beliefs and values are and I feel like a husk. I just feel like white noise. I can’t and can describe things at the same time. Idk if I’m spiraling or not. I probably am but can’t be JUST that. There has to be something more. I have intrusive thoughts all the time and I constantly make things up in my head that I think are real. It can’t be just anxiety. It just can’t idk what to do. My psychiatrist says this is normal stuff for ADHD and Autism. But I’ve never said all this stuff exactly before. Im in a self aware flow state right now lol. But I’ve never been in one during my visits so idk if I’m giving him correct information. I just can’t trust myself.

Like, I hate myself so much for it. Being me has never really gotten me anywhere in life. At least socially. I get along with people but not in any meaningful way. At least my teachers liked me? I’ve never gotten anywhere with a girl romantically. No matter how hard I try. It’s crazy to me how people can just get momentum going with others. And I can’t do that no matter how hard I try.

I’m very slow mentally I can’t understand things most can understand easily. I’m forgetful. I’m clumsy and awkward. And not even in a charming way. And there’s nothing much to like about me. I’m not dislikable per se. I’m just kind of alright. People don’t feel very strongly about me. I’m a nice guy I guess but that’s all I really have going for me. That’s one of the only somewhat positive traits I have going for me. I’ve never really felt truly loved and appreciated by anyone outside of my family. I’m so tired of this. I consider myself a somewhat logical thinker but it’s so hard to love myself without feeling like I’m lying to myself. Thanks for anyone who listened.

I try my best at work and I’m nice to everyone but my shortcomings kill me on the inside. I constantly mess simple things up and ask for help. And when I try to figure things out on my own I mess up that too. I always try to remember things but I’m so bad at it. Tonight I asked a customer service rep to send put a coworker on a register bc sco (I was the only person doing sco) was getting clogged and people who went over the 25 item limit had to use self checkout (that’s what sco means btw lol).

We were terribly understaffed with only 4 people including the customer service rep working. Customer service shouted back at me saying “I don’t have anyone” in an annoyed tone.

Did I do anything wrong here? I wasn’t trying to overstep. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything next time? When should I ask people to do things? I wouldn’t mind people telling me to do things, if I genuinely thought it was the best course of action. When should I take initiative?

Also my coworker was running returns back to produce and I gave him some on the way. When he came back I had more and I said something like “hey can you please take these back as well if you are up for it?” he groaned and took them for me. I thanked him and said I appreciated it. I thanked my coworkers for all their help and I just feel like a bossy asshole. Is there anything I could’ve done better? I just need some guidance.

During my break my coworker started an interaction with a joke on her way to her car (her shift ended). I got up and started walking and talking with her. We were joking around and talking. We kept talking while she was sitting in her car. I’m 99% sure I didn’t do anything wrong. The conversation was very mutual, she had open body language, she joked with me, it just felt comfortable. And I even left on my own terms and told her to get some rest. The interaction didn’t just feel like a shallow,
polite, coworker conversation. It felt organic, real, and genuine. But my brain keeps telling me I’m a weirdo who followed her to her car and cornered her so she couldn’t leave after an 8 hour shift. It gets much worse but I’ll keep it there. I don’t know what to do. Was I actually weird?