u/Foreign_Business5398

Like, I hate myself so much for it. Being me has never really gotten me anywhere in life. At least socially. I get along with people but not in any meaningful way. At least my teachers liked me? I’ve never gotten anywhere with a girl romantically. No matter how hard I try. It’s crazy to me how people can just get momentum going with others. And I can’t do that no matter how hard I try.

I’m very slow mentally I can’t understand things most can understand easily. I’m forgetful. I’m clumsy and awkward. And not even in a charming way. And there’s nothing much to like about me. I’m not dislikable per se. I’m just kind of alright. People don’t feel very strongly about me. I’m a nice guy I guess but that’s all I really have going for me. That’s one of the only somewhat positive traits I have going for me. I’ve never really felt truly loved and appreciated by anyone outside of my family. I’m so tired of this. I consider myself a somewhat logical thinker but it’s so hard to love myself without feeling like I’m lying to myself. Thanks for anyone who listened.

I try my best at work and I’m nice to everyone but my shortcomings kill me on the inside. I constantly mess simple things up and ask for help. And when I try to figure things out on my own I mess up that too. I always try to remember things but I’m so bad at it. Tonight I asked a customer service rep to send put a coworker on a register bc sco (I was the only person doing sco) was getting clogged and people who went over the 25 item limit had to use self checkout (that’s what sco means btw lol).

We were terribly understaffed with only 4 people including the customer service rep working. Customer service shouted back at me saying “I don’t have anyone” in an annoyed tone.

Did I do anything wrong here? I wasn’t trying to overstep. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything next time? When should I ask people to do things? I wouldn’t mind people telling me to do things, if I genuinely thought it was the best course of action. When should I take initiative?

Also my coworker was running returns back to produce and I gave him some on the way. When he came back I had more and I said something like “hey can you please take these back as well if you are up for it?” he groaned and took them for me. I thanked him and said I appreciated it. I thanked my coworkers for all their help and I just feel like a bossy asshole. Is there anything I could’ve done better? I just need some guidance.

During my break my coworker started an interaction with a joke on her way to her car (her shift ended). I got up and started walking and talking with her. We were joking around and talking. We kept talking while she was sitting in her car. I’m 99% sure I didn’t do anything wrong. The conversation was very mutual, she had open body language, she joked with me, it just felt comfortable. And I even left on my own terms and told her to get some rest. The interaction didn’t just feel like a shallow,
polite, coworker conversation. It felt organic, real, and genuine. But my brain keeps telling me I’m a weirdo who followed her to her car and cornered her so she couldn’t leave after an 8 hour shift. It gets much worse but I’ll keep it there. I don’t know what to do. Was I actually weird?