u/Gloomy-Cover5059

I tried to use the NPR app but there are several features that don’t work well for me on there. I subscribed to NPR+ through my local station so it would benefit them more (the subscription through apple only gives NPR 70%). But the links to add the subscriber version of shows on the Podcasts ios app are not working. Searching this sub I saw some other people had the same problem, but it was months to years ago, so I’m hoping someone has figured it out by now. Thanks for your help

I currently go to the Chuze on Ajo and 16th Ave. I live equally close to the Chuze at the Tucson Mall though. I have the $10 membership so I can only go to one location, though I can switch it once. My concern is the one on Ajo is super small. Even when it’s not crowded, I often have to wait for the most popular machines because there’s only one copy of each. Is the Tucson mall one bigger?

also sorry, I saw there’s a gym post from today already but I wanted to specifically ask about these two chuze locations.

Here’s what I have:

Frozen salmon fillets- should I cook from frozen or thaw first?

Grill tray - we use this because of food allergy concerns, but If it’s unlikely to work for salmon, what are some ways to clean the grill?

what other tools should we use?

I like getting scissor only haircuts, and haven’t had good experiences with barbers. I’ve been cutting my own, but I have a trip coming up with lots of photos and I want my hair to be looking good. Any local recommendations?

I am 22 and now living independently (with a partner but no longer with parents). I lived independently with a roommate for 8 months or so about 2 years ago, then had a mental health crisis because I couldn’t handle it. I spent 10 months back at home getting treatment and getting established in a full time job before moving out again. I am too far away to get support from family, short of just moving back in which I don’t want.

The actual problems- I work 5 days a week at a retail job, and feel like it’s all I do. I don’t do any of my hobbies, and am always behind on chores. I know that this is normal, but in my case it’s extreme and suffocating. I have 2 days off and hours outside of work, how is it that I can’t manage to feed myself, do laundry, keep the place clean, or even keep up with personal hygiene? Not to mention doing things for fun. I just feel so burnt out and sad. I want to live life, not just work and rot in bed. Today, for instance, I went shopping with my girlfriend for an hour. That was it. I have tons of dishes and laundry to do, wanted to maybe read or play video games, but I’ve done absolutely nothing but that one outing, and laying in bed.

I feel like I am missing something. Some skills I should have learned as a kid or something. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 21 and maybe that plays into it since I didn’t have any specialized support structures as a kid. But what can I do now? Where can I go??

this is going to be a long one, but I don’t use AI, and I can’t quite consolidate this myself since I’m still processing and everything feels relevant. i did a bullet point TLDR at the end but even that is pretty long. hopefully a few people will read and let me know what they think.

I don’t know if I’m just reading into things. and there were definitely things I could and should have done differently, but I just want to know, AIO?

“names” and ages

me (m 22)
my girlfriend (f 20)
my friend “syd” (x 22)
friend’s girlfriend “cam” (f 21)
the dd “x” (x 20-22?)
friend’s girlfriend’s roommate “a” (f 20-22?)

Syd and I have been friends since our freshman year of college. It’s been almost 3 years now. Syd and another from the same friend group are the two closest friends I have. Syd and their ex broke up in January after 5 months of living together. Syd was left stuck in a lease with bills they can’t afford on their own. But I was there for them in every way I could be. And they got a lot closer to my girlfriend during this time too, as they would hang out individually and do nails.

Syd had been talking a lot about this concert they really wanted to go to. In the beginning of March, Syd and I took a road trip to visit another friend. We talked and showed each other songs the whole way there and back. By the end, I knew how much this artist meant to Syd and I texted my girlfriend “do you like ___ ? would you be down to split 3 tickets to the concert?”. We werent really “fans” like Syd, but we both like this artist’s music and know a lot of their songs, so we decided to go for it. A week later we surprised Syd with the tickets. We were all so excited, and talked about making a day trip out of it since the venue is 2 hours away in the bigger city. I’ve been listening to the album for this tour constantly to get ready.

In April, Syd met their now girlfriend Cam. I was so happy for Syd that they were getting back out there. Cam and Syd started dating pretty quickly and are pretty serious now (which I can’t judge at all because my girlfriend and I moved almost that fast as well). They also have the same music taste, and Cam happened to already have tickets (with their roommate A) to the same concert before they met.

Maybe 1 month ago , Syd , my girlfriend, and I were hanging out, and Syd asked if we’d be okay with carpooling with Cam and A. We agreed, especially since Syd was driving. We’d also met Cam several times and we liked her. My girlfriend and I were still excited to have this time bonding with our friend.

We agreed on leaving between 4:30 and 5pm. that would allow us to eat before the show, but not much else. It was a little disappointing since we talked about spending more time up there. But I can’t be upset about that part because when Syd suggested leaving at 5-5:30, I only advocated for time enough to stop for food, not about doing other things.
Yesterday, the day of the concert, Syd tells my gf and I that they’d come pick us up at our apartment between 4:30-5:00.

Around 3 or so, Syd calls and says A’s friend X just bought a last minute ticket to the concert as well. I’m immediately hesitant because I don’t feel comfortable in group settings where I don’t know everyone well. I have autism and can very easily feel left out, and then shut down. And the thing is, Syd knows this about me. It’s so last minute though, I felt like I had to say yes.
X is the only one with a car that can fit 6 people, and assured Syd that he is happy to be the DD. Syd was very excited about this, and said they’d bring weed for everyone to smoke before the show, and a vape to bring in. Everyone in our group smokes frequently (something I’m actually hoping to cut back on soon, but that’s beside the point).

X pulled up to pick us up, and i immediately had a horrible feeling. I was expecting an SUV, but instead saw a very small 1990s sedan with a middle front seat. I did not feel safe. I strongly considered just driving my own car, but I felt like Syd would want to stay in that car with Cam, and the whole point of this trip was time with Syd.

So we head off and first turn off of our street X almost turned the wrong way into a 1-way street. They quickly recovered and apologized, saying they weren’t familiar with our neighborhood (but they grew up here and we live downtown?). Anyway, we get to the highway and X is tailgating all the way down. Following so close he hit debris twice because he didn’t have time to see it and safely swerve into the shoulder to avoid it. Haphazardly changing lanes, speeding, using his phone to change the song and going over the lane line while doing it.

I was very anxious the whole ride, though in fairness I am a generally anxious passenger with anyone I haven’t driven with a lot (even uber/taxi). The music and road noise was so loud I could barely have a conversation with Syd (who was already kind of high) on the way there. But they did ask me if they could offer X some of the weed before the show. Apparently he’s a big stoner and has a high tolerance. I suggest that they don’t offer it, but should X ask, Syd could verify that they’d be good to drive by the end of the show. It would be at least 4 hours, and a high from smoking fades by then.

I do believe that an average person can have a glass of wine with dinner and drive somewhere safely (if they are a usually safe driver that is). I also think that SOME people are able to have a small amount of weed (microdose) and be able to drive safely. However, there’s a big difference between smoking a little and getting/being high. I think high driving is absolutely DUI worthy despite the seemingly normalized belief that it is not.

I was already feeling resentful and disappointed about how drastically the plan had changed from a fun friends day trip just the three of us, to this. Then, Syd starts talking about a plan to ask people in the seats next to us to trade so that the 6 of us, or at least Syd, Cam, A, my gf, and I could sit together. Syd seemed super motivated to make sure they could sit with their girlfriend. It hurt since the only reason they’re going to the concert is because of my gf and I, and because we wanted to spend time together.
We get to In-N-Out and I am very overstimulated. I try to shake it off because I am still determined to make this a good night. Cam and Syd ordered first, then went to get seats. after ordering, we walk over and see they chose a 2 person table and a 4 person table next to one another. but they sat themselves at the 2 person table, leaving my girlfriend and I at the other table with the two people we didn’t know.

We go to the venue (and I continue to be horrified by X’s downtown driving now in a much bigger and busier city) and park in a garage. Syd gets out a joint and we start to pass it around. X asks to have some, and instead of asking him if he’d still be fine to drive, Syd asked me if I was okay with it. I said yes and we all smoke. Syd has a few edibles, my gf has half of one. Then, X asks me to pass him his bag of edibles. Unlike smoking, edibles last for 6-10 hours, and these were NOT microdose gummies. I immediately stop and ask if he’s going to take one. He looked at me and said “do you not want me to?” and I said no, edibles last way longer and you won’t be good to drive. he seemed annoyed, but we go in.

Syd, gf, and I go to our seats, then go to the merch line. Cam and A text us what they want. after a 45 minute wait, we go back to our seats, and all Syd can think about is how to trade seats. Being in the stadium, I could obviously see a big problem. Our seats were way better than A and Cam. and their neighbors had already said no. Eventually, these kids come sit next to us. (I know we are young too, but this couple was maybe 17). And Syd asks me to see if they will trade. I think it’s a super selfish ask. first of all because you should be happy sitting with your friends that you planned this with, and your girlfriend should be happy sitting with her friend. you’ll still have a shared memory and have more to talk about later. but second of all, we knew that the other seats were worse. asking teenagers to switch felt super scummy. I said no, you can ask. Syd convinces them to switch and I am just fuming mad about what my friend did to those kids. I couldn’t believe it. A and Cam sit down, and all of a sudden, Syds whole mood changed and they were way more excited for the concert, talkative, and taking pictures. not with us though.

The show starts, and the five of us smoke a little more all throughout (as planned since we had a DD). I don’t know if it was just because of my mindset going into it, but this was not a great show. the whole time, I’m feeling left out and sad. growing up with autism it was hard for me to make friends, and when I did I was often left out and taken advantage of. And now I was getting this same feeling from a friend who I never previously had to mask in front of. So maybe I am just reacting poorly because of my past.

At one point in the show, the artist starts encouraging “get those lighters out” “if you’ve got some weed then smoke it” “smoke one for me”. I just get this pit in my stomach. I have the thought - what if X brought a vape in here? he’s sitting by himself and none of us would know - for the rest of the show i can’t stop worrying about how we are gonna get home.
Here’s another thing I know I could have done differently. Someone else (me probably) could have stayed sober. I shouldn’t have trusted someone I don’t know to stay sober even when they say they’ll DD. In the future I will only trust a DD I know well. The problem here is, I don’t know how X would have reacted if I would have said I wanted to drive his car instead of him. And it’s a really unsafe car that I wouldn’t want to be in the front seat of period.

When the concert gets out, X takes 30 minutes to find us. not because of the crowd, but because he didn’t know which entrance we were talking about (despite him claiming to have gone to 10+ concerts here). we finally meet up, and he is staggering. his speech is slow and he keeps laughing. i hear him tell A “i’ll be fine we just need to go to circle k and then i’ll be fine”. He has no idea where we are parked. A navigates and it takes 3 times as long to find the car as it took to walk from it to the venue.
It is obvious to me, he is way too high. He had to have brought a vape and smoked the whole concert. at this point, my gf and I were both way more sober than him, despite her having had a small edible and both of us smoking through the show.

So on our way, I say “let’s stop at the CVS and get water and stuff”. we cross the street and walk half way down the block to the entrance, and it was closed. now everyone is annoyed that we even tried to make the stop. i pull Syd aside and say “X is not okay to drive right now”. Syd says we can sit and wait it out a while in the car.

We get to the car, and everyone gets in. X immediately starts looking on the map for the closest Circle K and puts the car in gear. I say “wait I don’t think we’re ready to go yet”. they say ok and everyone sits there for like 2 minutes. X asks if I’m ready now. I say no. He says “can I ask why not..?”. I look at Syd. I do not want to be the one confronting this person I don’t know. Syd says nothing. I say “I just don’t feel comfortable with you driving while you’re still this high. you need to come down first.” X smiles and scoffs at this, then shares a look with A and Cam, rolling his eyes.

as we sit there, I start looking at the greyhound busses and uber rates. We’re two hours from home and it’s 1 am. I lean over and tell Syd that my gf and I are not going to ride home in this car. we are going to go get some water and order an uber. Syd argues, saying it’s so expensive. and they’re right. it was expensive. but it wasn’t worth the risk of driving with X to save that money. So I ask if Syd wants to come, or if anyone else may also want to come. I clearly don’t think it’s safe and want to offer an alternative to everyone else. But Syd said no, so I just say “okay everyone, tonight was so fun, I’m so glad we got to do this, gf and I are going to go get some water and order an uber home”. they sounded confused but we just left.

the uber was $165 including tip. it was 2am my gf and I rode home in silence, without the friend we wanted to go with in the first place. every time we passed flashing lights on the way I shot up and looked to see if it was X’s car. I was sick with worry for the rest of the group, and so fucking pissed they put is in this position.

Syd texted me today asking if I wanted to talk and said “I don’t know if you’re upset with me about something, but I feel really bad about how things ended last night”. i was getting ready for work off of 4 hours of sleep and just didn’t have it in me to respond. i did happen to respond to a message in a bigger group chat that Syd happens to be in though. they then text me that i should have at least said i don’t want to talk and that it’s super disrespectful to text the group while “actively ignoring” their message - which was sent not 30 minutes before.

I’ve been in my head all day. I’m so upset and just don’t know how to move forward. it’s 4 am now as I’m posting. I started writing this out two hours ago because I couldn’t sleep thinking about it. if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading my ramblings.

TLDR:
- My GF and I got concert tickets for Syd’s favorite artist. we wanted to take them since they couldn’t afford to go and it has been a rough year for them.
- Syd started dating Cam who also had plans to go to the same concert with her roommate A.
- A few weeks ahead of time, Syd ask if we can carpool with A and Cam in their car. we say yes, even though we were looking forward to quality time with our friend. We figured we would still get that.
- The day of the concert, Syd calls and says A’s friend X got a last minute ticket and had enough seats to drive all of us. I asked if he’d be staying sober as DD. Syd says yes
- X turns out to be a horrible driver in a very unsafe car. I’m very uncomfortable. In the car, Syd is talking about how they’re gonna try to have other people trade seats so Cam and A could be with us. Syd also asks if it’s okay if X smokes just before the concert. Since it would be 4-5 hours before having to drive, I said it would probably be okay.
-we all smoke a bit, but I have to tell X not to take an edible since it wouldn’t be close to worn off by the time we have to leave
- inside, there’s a teen couple next to us and Syd convinces them to trade seats with Cam and A, who were in an entirely different section with a much worse view. i felt horrible
- Syd is acts way happier once their girlfriend is there, even though they were supposed to be there with me and my gf - their long time very close friends who bought their ticket.
- We get out of the concert and it is obvious that our DD brought weed inside and smoked the whole show. He was as high or higher than the rest of us.
- Syd refused to say anything, forcing me to be the one to say something. I asked if Syd would come with us to uber home, and they said no and tried to convince us not to get one. it’s 2 hours away from home and would be expensive.
- my gf and I just leave, and pay $165 for an uber home at 2 am, without the friend we brought.
- AIO for being this mad and questioning my friendship?

EDIT - double checked after some comments. you’re right i totally had a typo that affected my calculations. it was 109 miles not 190. her total miles would be closer to 300 given this (assuming she was telling the truth about where she lives). i still feel like this wouldn’t have been a worthwhile ride for her, but it’s better than i originally thought.

ORIGINAL - tonight my partner and I went to a concert in the city with some friends. we live in a large town 2 hours (190 miles - all on a wide interstate) away. basically our DD got super high at the show and we didn’t feel safe going back with the group. we ended up ordering an uber about an hour after the concert let out once the crowds and prices went down.

we paid $125 for the 190 mile 2 hour ride at 1:45 am. the ride was picked up immediately. i see the car is an XL Black most premium car, even though we only ordered and paid for a regular UberX.

in conversation with the driver, we learn she was offered $60 for the ride. and that she lives in a town an hour outside the big city, in a separate direction. this means she would be driving a total of 5 hours 440 miles. i looked up her car and with her gas mileage and our local gas prices, she will need to spend $55 for the gas she used.

i ended up tipping $40, but with uber’s low offer, she is ending up with $45 profit for 5 hours of driving.

i used to work food and grocery delivery apps, and would never take orders that were more than 2 miles per dollar, or 1 mile per dollar if it was a large grocery trip. i just don’t understand why she accepted this order. i tip well, but she easily could have had a non-tipping customer.

i guess i just feel super guilty over all this. is $40 considered a good tip on this ride? it’s over 30%. why use a large 19-mpg suv for this gig if you’re not just getting the luxury rides?

(Today is Wednesday).

Background- Sometime Saturday night or Monday morning, my car was broken into in front of my apartment building. They broke the passenger window, unlocked the car, then disassembled the steering column and pulled out all the wires. It appears they successfully hot wired it, or got really close, but the car wasn’t fully stolen. I suspect it had something to do with my manual transmission. I use the handbrake and park in neutral, but found my car in 4th gear (as if someone was trying to “put it in drive”. I had to go to work, but I took pictures, made a police report and taped up my window.

Insurance Question - I made a claim online through my StateFarm account Sunday night. I called Monday morning to arrange a tow to the nearest dealership. I wanted to go to a dealership so that I could ensure that the correct parts were used. The person on the phone said that it’s out of network or whatever, but I don’t expect that they’ll do any repairs that wouldn’t be covered. Anyway, I never called the dealership because from my conversation with the representative I was under the impression all communication would be through them. Today, Wednesday, I decided to call over to the dealership for an update. They said my car wasn’t never checked in. I gave all the car info and they called back 30 minutes later saying they found the car. They set me up with a profile so they’d have my contact info, and had me send the insurance claim info as well. I’m just so confused right now. Shouldn’t they have already gotten that? Why didn’t the StateFarm tow driver not check my car in? And what are the real implications of the dealership not being in network? I’ve driven this car for 5 years, but just 2 months ago bought it off of my parents and got my own insurance. This is my first time really dealing with insurance and this is the first major incident and only claim I’ve had on this car. I’m very new to this world.

Does anyone here do delivery driving gigs full time? How sustainable is that? I’ve done Doordash, Uber Eats, and Shipt in the past, but not while living here. I’m considering leaving my job because I hate the hours, but I wanted to see how much people are able to make doing gigs here. And yes I’ve been applying to full time jobs nonstop for months. If anyone’s able to give a reasonable estimate of weekly earnings and hours worked (esp what time of day/day of the week) that would be awesome.

TW - extreme weight loss -

I have a binder that I LOVED for a long time. But over the past 9 months I have lost a lot of weight due to health problems. I kept telling myself not to get a new binder because I need to gain the weight back anyway, but I’ve been working with a dietician and multiple doctors for the past 4 months and still weigh the same. I don’t want to get the brand I love because it’s $60 and I’m obviously hoping that I gain weight soon. but the dysphoria is killing me since my binder is so loose that it doesn’t compress. Are there any cheap amazon binders that have actually worked for anyone? I’m really hoping it’ll just be a temporary thing. But should I just bite the bullet and get the one I know I like?

It’s currently very late, and I have an initial interview scheduled tomorrow for Bankers Life. Ive been applying to so many jobs, I stupidly didn’t look deeper into them until just now. I’m desperately looking for a 9-5 job because my current job is running me ragged. I don’t have a license but have a lot of customer service experience. I am just very discouraged by posts on other subs. I am great with customers, but I do a lot better in a job with lots of structure. I know I would do well during the training period because I am a fast learner, but I don’t know if I could keep up with the pace I would need to solo given the stories. I’m mostly applying for customer service representative/support jobs, but shot for some sales positions too (see desperate). Now I’m really thinking it would be a bad fit. Do I cancel the interview? I feel like it would just waste their time to meet with me. Could canceling harm my ability to get other jobs around town? Do businesses talk yo each other or use indeed like that? Ive only ever worked at big retail chains.

It’s currently very late, and I have an initial interview scheduled tomorrow for Bankers Life. Ive been applying to so many jobs, I stupidly didn’t look deeper into them until just now. I’m desperately looking for a 9-5 job because my current job is running me ragged. I don’t have a license but have a lot of customer service experience. I am just very discouraged by posts here. I am great with customers, but I do a lot better in a job with lots of structure. I know I would do well during the training period because I am a fast learner, but I don’t know if I could keep up with the pace I would need to by the stories here. I’m mostly applying for customer service jobs, but shot for some sales positions too (see desperate). Now I’m really thinking it would be a bad fit. Do I cancel the interview? I feel like it would just waste their time to meet with me. Could canceling harm my ability yo get other jobs around town? Do businesses talk yo each other or use indeed like that? Ive only ever worked st bug retail chains.

My apartment building is very old, and the city I’m in already has lead problems. We’ve been using the Pur water dispenser, but I guess our tap water is way worse than average, because it lasts 3 weeks max instead of 2 months. Like it entirely stops filtering. Are there generic replacement filters that work? Would the 5 gallon jugs end up being cheaper? We’d prob use at least one per week. Just at a loss right now.