u/Hairy_Pear3963

My dad has stage 4 cancer which started from lungs and he got better after chemo. But it came back last year and spread somewhat to stomach and other areas. He recently fell and broke his hip and had to get hip surgery. After the surgery, medically he’s fine like blood test, lungs, heart are fine. But he cannot walk and needs a lot of physical therapy and he’s having a lot of mental confusion. He also can’t eat much, they have him on a puree diet and he eats very little these days.

The hospital wants to discharge him soon and is asking us for a plan but we are so lost, exhausted, confused, emotional and everything. Hospice has been thrown around by some of the doctors. Some tell us to go to a rehab facility. Some say we can take him home but with live in nurse. I’d love to take him home, he’s been asking to go home for days. But I don’t know if we can care for him the way the hospital is with the feeding, medications, around the clock care, cleaning after pee poop. I considered rehab but hearing so many horror stories about them and how they treat people so bad, people get worse there. And hospice, I don’t think we are ready for that even though the palliative doctor said he may have only 6 months left. Can anyone office advice please, can’t think straight. Thank you

Hi, I’m by no means an athlete but last 4-6 weeks I’ve been doing light strength training 3-4x a week. I’ve also been running 2-3 times a week. If I totally stop for 2 weeks (family member in the hospital and I mentally and physically cannot work out) will I lose all my progress or how long before I do lose progress? Thanks

Hi, I’m by no means an athlete but last 4-6 weeks I’ve been doing light strength training 3-4x a week. I’ve also been running 2-3 times a week. If I totally stop for 2 weeks (family member in the hospital and I mentally and physically cannot work out) will I lose all my progress or how long before I do lose progress? Thanks

Posted few days ago about dad with cancer who fell. He broke his hip and needed surgery. Even before surgery he was in so much pain from cancer and barely eating or walking. Now with the surgery he has even more pain and issues. I feel like I’m grieving him as he’s alive. I’ve been grieving him since the cancer got bad. He went from being my dad to being like a small child I needed to parent. I needed to constantly assure him it will be okay, it will get better even though I don’t even know that. I had to talk to bunch of doctors in last two days about all his medical issues and the risks and possibly having a do not resuscitate order. My mom died when I was a teenager as well from kidney issues and a short hospital stay so this is bringing back a lot of trauma and bad memories for me from then. Back to watching both of my parents in pain, dying slowly, doctors coming and going, spending days and nights in hospital hallways. I’m having so many feelings besides despair. I’m angry at god. I’m also isolating myself from anyone that’s not my sibling because who else would understand. My friends who have healthy parents won’t understand. My relatives who still have living healthy parents at age 50 wouldn’t understand. I don’t wanna talk to anyone and I want to completely cut off people because it’s not fair.

My dad has stage 4 cancer which started from lungs but now spread to stomach area. He went through one round of chemo and radiation couple years ago and it was hell during the time but he got better after. Cancer came back obviously and now it’s awful. He can barely eat these days, he’s lost so much weight, he’s all bones, he’s in a lot of pain. Pain in the stomach, abdomen, shoulders, legs everywhere. We were supposed to start second round of chemo next month.

But things just got much worse. He has had trouble getting around and to and from rooms and bathrooms so we usually help him. He fell yesterd day when we weren’t home and he didn’t break anything (I think) but now he can’t move at all. He’s not paralyzed but it’s almost like he is because his legs just don’t work. And we are not equipped to handle this situation at all. He is peeing in bags in bed and stuff because he can’t get to or sit on the toilet. Someone has to physically lift him from a bed to a chair. My sister and I aren’t really strong enough for this so it’s tough and takes a while. He still can’t eat much and is always crying in pain. I don’t know what to do. Cancer nurse said to try ER but do I have any other options? Any advice please. I can’t see how this situation will improve at all for him or for us.

I’ve been married for 4 years and during this time, I never really felt like my husband was really in love with me. Maybe he cares for me and likes me but the deep love you have for a spouse or someone you are in love with, I didn’t really feel that. Lately I’m having a hard time. I’m prone to depression and anxiety but I’ve also had quite a bit of trauma. My mom died when I was a teenager and now as mid 30s my dad has cancer and I feel like I’m grieving him as well. Feels like he’s slowly dying and is in the end stages and it’s hard to watch and my siblings and I do a lot of caregiving as well. Because of this and general work stress, struggling with anxiety and depression, I’ve been crying a lot lately. At small things, big things. And my husband gets frustrated. He will half comfort me sometimes but other times not really. Today I broke down and just started crying a ton. He was really annoyed because he got up early today and had a lot of work and was tired. He kinda yelled at me and said what’s wrong with you. I told him i just feel sad. I miss mom and im sad that im losing my dad as well. And he was just irritated the whole time kinda yelling at me that this is not a new thing, it’s been a while and why am i bullshitting. I broke down even more at his reaction and kept saying I’m sorry. He tried to make me go on a walk with him but I just kept crying so yelled at me some more and left me here. I don’t know if I’m being dramatic because sometimes my anxiety makes me see things in a different way. But I feel like this is the last sign that he absolutely does not give a shit about me.

I was always between 115-120 but quickly gained a lot of weight to 133-134 and it was not budging. I tried so many things and could sometimes get down to 130 ish but never under. This week I consistently saw 129.6 and 129.7 on the scale and I just needed to celebrate this tiny win!

I haven’t gotten tested but I suspect I have pcos or perimenopause or both. I’m 37 F and 5’0 and this made weight loss and everything in life basically a struggle. I don’t know what helped move the needle little tiny bit but I recently posted about my routine as well. I eat around 1200-1300 with 70g protein or so I don’t really go crazy on the protein. And I walk a lot like 15-17k steps with light strength training/running few times a week. I think all of these things combined helped a lot!

Hi noob here. I’m 36/F and 5 feet only so I’m petite. I’m 130 pounds but my goal is to be 115-120 and lean/strong. But I am completely lost on the weights/strength training stuff. Right now, I do a full body Caroline girvan video that’s around 20 minutes long and I do it 3x a week. I do get a good sweat from using baby dumbbells (6 pounds each so total 12 pounds). I think I can move to 8-10 pounds soon!

Other than this, I run 30-40 mins twice a week and I walk a lot. Like 12-13k steps everyday. I also eat between 1200-1300 calories with focus on protein. Would I even see any results from the strength training I’m doing or am I wasting my time? I don’t wanna be super muscley or body builder type (and I know I can’t get there anyway without years of training) but is it enough to just do 20 minute program 3x a week for the near future and just keep progressing on the weights? Any advice appreciated and thank you.

I spent my 20s grieving my mom who died. Now in my 30s my dad has late stage cancer and it’s been a back and forth for last 3-4 years but the common theme has been me and my sister doing all the caregiving and it’s left both of us mentally and physically exhausted. When he was first diagnosed and did a bunch of chemo and radiation, the side effects were awful for him so we spent the entire summer and that year following it barely leaving the house. He couldn’t eat on his own, was a fall risk so we’d wake up middle of the night to walk him to the bathroom. We’d prepare his meals and just constant “I need water, I need a pillow, i need a back massage” requests. We both also work full time jobs.

After treatment he got better for about a year but now the cancer is back and spreading. He will go through chemo again but he’s in bad shape. He can’t eat without vomiting most days so we end up having to clean after most meals. He can barely walk or get around and we hav to prepare all the meals and can’t even leave him home for more then 2-3 hours. And I feel so guilty and I feel awful bc obviously he’s having a hard time as well and he’s in a lot of pain and suffering. But at the same time, I wasted all my 20s and now wasting my 30s. Summer is coming and I will probably not even be able to leave the house for an entire Saturday much less take weekend trips or vacations. It’s not fair. It’s not fair he has to suffer and us along with him. Every year I look forward to summer so I can take mini trips or enjoy the weather but I’m dreading it this year bc I just know I’ll be stuck home cleaning vomit and massaging his back pains. I have no idea what to do and completely exhausted.