u/Hampster999

Im soo scared and pissed and frustrated, so this afternoon I was chilling and saw something a little stressful, and so my brain blew up (figuratively) and had a “seizure” (quotes because im are calling it a seizure cuz I dont know wtf else to call it) and I was stuck like shaking and kinda rocking back and forth and I couldnt breathe

And I was calling my parents for help and they couldnt hear me to the point I was questioning if I had gone mute, questions which were dispelled when I saw how bad my bunny reacted to the noise (and hes fine will full on vaccume noises and that doesnt bug him at all so I must have been yelling looouuuddd, also I gave the poor baby a treat cuz honestly he was a better parent in that moment than my actual parents were cuz he helped me thru it) and they never answered, not even a “yah? Do you need anything” or an “are you okay”.

My parents, by the way, werent like super far away or anything, they were in the room next to me, which isnt even like walled off, theres a wall between where I was and where they were, sure, 2/4 sides of that room dont have a wall. I had previously asked them to quiet down because they were giving me a headache (and by they, I mean my over coddled little brother with a 12 year old body and a 3 year old brain) and they said “yeah yeah well be done our game in a sec” I was like (thru noise cancelling headphones btw) “cant you just play your game without screaming?” to which I just had the screams directed specifically at me until I said “never mind”.

It felt like forever, I thought I was gunna die it was so scary, ive like *never* had a symptom like that, like ive had bad symptoms in the past that Ive needed help with, so they know they need to like be able to hear me in case of emergency, but like not much more than they would need to be able to hear anyone in case of any emergency

Eventually (especially thanks to my bunny I seriously dont think id be here without him, both from what happened today and also from sh and suer slide) I got through it, and was able to breathe again (still had a bunch of other stuff like paralasis and pain but those arent new nor are they lethal, and im like used to them by now kinda)

Anyways eventually they went to bed (like half an hour after all of this) and only then did they notice “hey wait a minute I havent heard from that other child I have) and my mom checked on me (the fact its my mom is notable because I thought she was somewhat decent, like my dad had been ablist and had a “your paralized, well just get up and walk, sometimes we have to do things we arent confortable with, you think I wanna go to work and pay for you everyday?” but she had been kinda fine, asside from excusing his ablisme with “hes just like that and hes tryna help”)

I was crying at that point and I told her I was terrified that they couldnt hear me when I was suffocating

Her f#cking response!??? You wanna guess? “Well <younger brother> has been trying his best! Yknow he even didnt talk or whispered for his entire morning before school because you were sleeping!” (He was on his screen watching youtube with headphones, no one else was awake to talk to, the fact that this is an accomplishment for him really says alot, plus I woke up to him and his “quiet talking”, which is barely quieter than my shouting, or the shouting of my parents and friends)

And then “you know, you really dont apreciate how hard he tries to stay quiet for you and your soft <implied overly sensitive> ears”

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Then once im able to walk when im going upstairs and im slightly groaning in pain cuz doin stairs after a seizure sucks (she swapped out with my dad at that point) I hear “SHHHHHHHHH PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING” way louder than I was talking but who cares compared to the rest of that

Then I make a small sarcastic remark because I cope using sarcasm “oh so someone waking up because of my pain means I need to quiet down but people being so loud they cant hear others screaming for help around them is completely fine!?” And I get “you cant just hold it over our heads forever, you need to get rid of your victim mentality” LIKE FUCKING EXCUSE ME!?!?

Also the “SHHH PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING” was dad, but my mom was in the hall when I made the sarcastic remark and butted in with that, idk if it makes much of a difference, like In my head they are a marital unit and thus speak for eachother and i used to think also meant they communicated but now i know they dont, but Im trying to separate them when they do something especially bad cuz its only hypocritical if its against something you yourself said previously, without admitting that you were wrong or saying you think you were wrong

Anyways my mom said more bs as I wrote a bunch of this but im fucking tired and all the things shes saying is just doubling down on what she said before

Though I do need to mention some things

When she brought up “the neighbors dont live like that, staying quiet so they can hear eachother in case of emergency” and I said “the neighbors dont have a disabled kid who has seizures all the time, and also they would be able to hear eachother in case of emergency, since they [and their speaker systems playong music and also themselves and their loud compared to talking but quiet compared to wetf you call my brothers volume] are still much quieter than you guys are” to which she said “whelp, cant argue with crazy” like what and also what and also WHAT THE FUCK

Also 2. I found out their game was a tv sports thing and they were cheering, so in their eyes thats why they cant quiet down, though you can definitely say “go local sports team” “wow nice goal” “woohoo” and “booooo” without being so loud you cant hear your surroundings

______

Seriously though I need advice, is cps actually as bad as they say it is? Like I know they could be making it seem worse than it is so that I wont call or say anything that bad to someone who might call, but also what ive heard from other people/places about it lines up with what they say

If it is as bad as they say then the major problem is that the system somehow manages to be even worse than this is, if its not then how bad is it really? Whats it really like then?

This is more about my parents then about fnd but I need specific advice from people who know wjat its like to have fnd cuz like I doubt you have access to doctors and psychologists and physeotherapists and stuff in the system (idk what its called other than “the system”)

But just like

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sorry this was such a downer, uhhm, picture of the reason im alive I guess to lift spirits and stuff maybe

This is an add I got, that link does not lead to picrew

Can someone make an fnd pride flag to match this pots one?

Very Very True...

Cw: super heavy like aaaaaaaa like idk what it falls under, like basically everything triggering asside from bugs and needles

any idea why the lgbtqia+ wiki is marked as anti trans?

Am I the butt for being 2 hours late to a click video because I was at a farm?

Rule clarifications:

Just went to a weaving workshop and they let me take home the materials. Anyways guess what the pattern is gunna be from how its going to far :3

How do I find pride events/parades near me?

(spoilers for the dirtifiers)

POTS pride flag