u/Hennessyveil

I’ll start this off by saying obviously there is fetish shit in it, in Cassie’s storyline, because that’s what online sex work entails. You cater to your fans fetishes and interests. And I can see in some of her scenes, there is probably integrated some appealing aspects. I won’t deny this, that’s kind of a given there.

But, as a person who was in this industry, in the dark sides, not the glamorised side that is being shown on purpose in that light and juxtaposition, seeing so many people discuss the reality behind this industry and trafficking is disgusting to me. Labelling Kitty being sexually assaulted as “fetish”, or anything that is too uncomfortable for them to enjoy. Some parts, such as the balloon scene, is played on longer in my opinion to be disgusting. It’s meant to make you uncomfortable, because it’s a bad fucking thing. It comes off as so privileged and ignorant to label everything in this season, which is honestly less sexual than the last two imo if not the same, as “fetish”. Not only are you taking away from a story and point that is important, overshadowed, and needs to be talked on, but you’re also twisting this reality into being nothing more than a fetish. It’s so disgusting to see.

You are meant to feel uncomfortable by this, you are supposed to feel disgusted, you are supposed to feel put off. You aren’t meant to enjoy it. It’s such a privileged and awful mentality to label anything you cannot handle as fetish. Things like this are true and real, this kind of shit is happening to people on a regular basis. You have the privilege to feel disgusted by it and turn your tv off, they don’t. Be sensitive if you’re gonna talk about this shit, cuz it’s awful reading the shit you guys are saying.

Sorry for the rant but jfc the people watching this season need to drop this narrative. Coming from someone who was on BOTH sides of this industry.

I get such imposter syndrome about my own life, and idk if that analogy works or not, but it’s like I’m so detached from myself because of all the dissociation I experienced in the past, it feels like I’m faking everything I do or discuss now when I’m not in that state, and it’s such an odd feeling. I feel like I’m wearing a mask in a way. It’s like I’m a little person with such little to myself living inside this big body that does everything, and that body isn’t me, I’m just that little person inside. But, I’m aware that body is me to an extent, I just can’t take credit for it. Anytime I relate to things, I feel as if I’m lying about it. My whole life feels like an act.

This is probably just another weird dissociation thing but idk it feels very weird.

I feel like, with many disorders mentally, when you have autism, it’s like they just blame it all on autism and ignore the fact it very well could be something else. I have ocd, in example. I don’t know how to go about getting help for what I believe could be arfid, rather than autism sensory issues, and my autism makes it difficult for me to navigate things in general. I’d appreciate any advice, because this is really impacting my life. It isn’t driven by sensory reasons, or by feeling comfortable eating something, it’s as if I’m disgusted by anything and everything I see, and there’s only truly very little foods, day to day, I don’t feel as if I could gag or vomit looking at. I just want to be taken seriously, and I don’t know how to get help. Could anyone with it, or with experience similar, give advice? I’d appreciate it a lot.

I want to expand my music taste, and I only really listen to music to feel something. The fun songs I listen to arent really rap either, but I don’t want to exclude the genre entirely. I sort of pick and choose with the music I like, so it’s very vast, but I’m yet to find more than like 2 songs I enjoy. Idk if it’s just I find it hard to find songs I enjoy, or if they’re just harder for me find. But I’ve never really listened to or found interest in rap music. Sure id listen to it, but it was never something I really attached myself to. But I feel weird for not doing that, and I want to take on suggestions for rap music. I like goth and metal music, emotional songs that, you can feel in the music itself, the emotions of. Whatever those emotions may be, the instrumental alone gets you. I like really any sort of alternative music, but I rely heavily on the instrumental of it all. I’m unsure if this is why I’ve struggled because I feel like rap songs, from the ones I’ve listened to, are all very fast paced and speed over it a lot. So it’s hard for me to consume and connect to. I’m aware there are some that do manage to capture both well, I unfortunately just can’t find many. Mainstream rap is not my taste, nor my thing, so if you could stray as far away from that as possible. The sound of it just isn’t my taste. I don’t like surface level lyrics that are just there for another sort of song that goes along the sexual or partying storyline. I’d also rather it isn’t specific to American experiences, though I’m not cancelling that out entirely, it’s just harder for me to relate to a song that’s specifically about American experiences.

TLDR I want rap songs that rely heavily on the musical of it all, in an emotional sense. You can feel the emotions portrayed in the music, it isn’t just a good beat kind of thing. My main music taste is goth and metal. I don’t like mainstream rap, and I dislike when rap is just a fast paced beat that sounds nice to the ears it’s hard for me to consume. If there are any rap songs that fit this (which I’m sure there are), I’d be glad to hear your recs. I’m really just looking to expand my music taste.

I want to expand my music taste, and I only really listen to music to feel something. The fun songs I listen to arent really rap either, but I don’t want to exclude the genre entirely. I sort of pick and choose with the music I like, so it’s very vast, but I’m yet to find more than like 2 songs I enjoy. Idk if it’s just I find it hard to find songs I enjoy, or if they’re just harder for me find. But I’ve never really listened to or found interest in rap music. Sure id listen to it, but it was never something I really attached myself to. But I feel weird for not doing that, and I want to take on suggestions for rap music. I like goth and metal music, emotional songs that, you can feel in the music itself, the emotions of. Whatever those emotions may be, the instrumental alone gets you. I like really any sort of alternative music, but I rely heavily on the instrumental of it all. I’m unsure if this is why I’ve struggled because I feel like rap songs, from the ones I’ve listened to, are all very fast paced and speed over it a lot. So it’s hard for me to consume and connect to. I’m aware there are some that do manage to capture both well, I unfortunately just can’t find many. Mainstream rap is not my taste, nor my thing, so if you could stray as far away from that as possible. The sound of it just isn’t my taste. I don’t like surface level lyrics that are just there for another sort of song that goes along the sexual or partying storyline. I’d also rather it isn’t specific to American experiences, though I’m not cancelling that out entirely, it’s just harder for me to relate to a song that’s specifically about American experiences.

TLDR I want rap songs that rely heavily on the musical of it all, in an emotional sense. You can feel the emotions portrayed in the music, it isn’t just a good beat kind of thing. My main music taste is goth and metal. I don’t like mainstream rap, and I dislike when rap is just a fast paced beat that sounds nice to the ears it’s hard for me to consume. If there are any rap songs that fit this (which I’m sure there are), I’d be glad to hear your recs. I’m really just looking to expand my music taste.

I’m sure it’s a common experience, but I just feel so alone. And then at the same time I can’t feel upset for it, like I’m physically incapable. I feel the same way about my body as I did when I was heavier. I disliked it, I hid it, I thought when I’m like this then I’ll feel so happy and like to show it off. And now I’m objectively thinner and I feel no different. In fact, I think I hate myself more. Because everytime I look at myself in a picture or in reflections I just see fat. I see how my stomach sticks out the tiniest bit, how my legs aren’t as thin as I think they should be. I cry over it. And before, I hated my face, I knew I was big, but it never hit me as hard as now. I’m stuck too. Because I’m scared of getting too thin and being noticed and admitted for treatment. But then I hate looking this way too. I don’t think I ever understood that explanation before. My last restrictive experience I was very sedated i didn’t feel much or remember it. Now here,I’m just so sad. Not even sad… I still can’t feel strong emotions for it, but I do at the same time.

I’d say I have a really rare name, in that I’ve never heard of anyone else with it. My name is Hennessy, and I get common misspellings with like the vowels. Hennessey, Hennissy, and other things like that. But I’ve also gotten some crazy ones that I just cannot fathom how they got there. Like, Hemsy, or Hennazie, are some distinct ones I can remember. I’m sure there are others too though, need to jog my mind.

I was curious, anyone else with a rare or uncommon name (or maybe just a common name spelt in a different way), what are some of the absurd or bizarre misspellings you’ve gotten?

When I was a teenager,starting age 14? Maybe 15. I would sell myself to adults for money. Online and also in person. I can’t accept it as being abuse or seeing myself as a victim because i facilitated it all. There was numerous times I just ignored people and refused it. I engaged, I continued it, I facilitated it, I purposefully lured them in. I feel like I can’t justly call myself a victim. It feels wrong.

A big thing I suffer with because of my ocd is rhinotillexomania and obsessive ear cleaning. I don’t know exactly what it is that causes it, but I can’t not do it. It’s the feeling and knowledge of having not done it that makes me feel as if I need to do it. But because of the nature of it and where it is, I feel gross and sort of stupid for speaking about it. Like it’s associated with young children or bad manners and I feel stupid for suffering with it. I have horrible nose bleeds and my nose I’m general is very sensitive, my ears are damaged and I often get pain in them…