u/Hungry-University609

Hello All,

Week 4 at a free CC.

2-3 people show up for early morning class 8am.

They still don't have book which fin aid gives them money to buy.

One shows up 10 minutes before class ends.

I'm giving them online assignments and called it a day. Sent those w/out books to fin aid.

I'm seeing the drop start very early.

Long commute to arrive at empty classroom.

Not sure it's worth it.

They should be online. I'm hearing the online students are mostly radio silent.

As salamu aleikum,

Is there a private transport person or company that picks up and drops off kids at schools where no transport is available insha Allah?

Shokran

Hello All,

I have a class finishing 45 minutes prior to start of another class at different college.

It was last minute offer.

Later class is a accelerated so only for few weeks.

My options are

1. tell chair it's too tight and cannot teach 2nd class. Starts later in term so no worries.

2. finish early and start late while praying no traffic . It's non rush hour.

I need to cash.

I'm preparing to leave higher ed at least on ground teaching asap.

Hate burning bridges but truthfully, they don't lead to anywhere.

With holidays and end of term, I'm tempted to give students quizzes the one day a week it needs to happen.

This is excuse to finish early and make it to 2nd class.

This is doable.

A 75 minute class 2x a week . Finish 15 to 20 minutes early 1x a week for 5 weeks in last part of term.

I can also have them go to lab to work on projects.

A bit of creativity and it's plausible while maintaining union obligations.

Thoughts?

Life as a freeway adjunct !

Hello,

Are lawsuits common with aging npd parents aimed at family?

I've been estranged for years but this is how he always was. Using lawfare to hurt people

It's under 500 bucks so him being able to sit in court and pontificate about his close relatives wrongdoing is clearly worth forgoing holiday invites. It was his last relative he was still in contact with. Related by marriage.

Is this more dementia or or npd doing its extinction burst ?

Hello,

Any seasoned adjuncts getting squeezed out this upcoming Fall?

Myself and a few others are seeing it wither away. It's a free CC.

Mostly online growth and full-time teaches 8-10 classes a term.

Same class different sections. They have a 4/4 load and get adjunct rate for extra.

This leaves nothing for lowly adjuncts.

It's been time to move on anyway.

It's an unappreciated job to be honest. Students and admin work in conjunction against me.

Thoughts?

Hello,

When is the majority of students for Fall registered by?

My school we go a few days past the start.

Any ideas what pct are registered by now?

I don't know how many people leave the beach on labor day thinking I should go to CC tomorrow.

I'm sure there are some.

Thanks

Marhaba,

Are ferries from tarifa and algeciras still going both ways?

I know al boraq is not going to tangier.

Could this situation turn on a dime and borders close in Spain / Maroc?

Shokran

Hello,

Both parents started new families after the divorce ( I was 8).

I didn't know either of the new families ( both fell apart as well).

I do know no one ever contacted me for 25 years. F did looking for help with new kids being on drugs.

Other than that interaction, I don't think anyone considered me family. Grandmother on M side believed M nonsense on why she had to abandon me as a kid and fully embrace new family.

I always see first set of kids get pushed away. Almost always!

This is especially true when inheritance comes around.

New family shocked first kids are legally entitled.

Even relatives side with new kids i.e that's the family home. First kids shouldn't have a right to it. They never set foot in there,etc.

Why is this a phenomenon and how common is it?

I have a few friends in similar situations. Step parents family has celebrations and my friends may get invite from his parent but he knows they are not family. They don't celebrate his birthdays.

One guy told me his mother took him for Xmas and went to her new hubby's parents house with their kids. Guy didn't know anyone as he saw mother occasionally. He saw pictures of his younger siblings everywhere. He was a guest.

His mother made up some bs errand to run with him. They went out for a few and when they came back, all the presents were open. He knew she took him out as there was nothing for him under tree. He played it off which is impressive for a 10 year old. It hurt him though. M in new family,etc.

It's only the bio parent pushing the whole one family narrative.

I've seen numerous inheritance situations where kids who called people grandparents were not listed in will but half siblings are.

One young lady had her mother die, leave her a house and assets. Absent father showed up with his new family insisting she be fair and split with " her sisters".

When one remarries and has more kids, are they in fact starting a new family?

Everyone seems to think yes except the person doing it.

I've had step families and it's polite but awkward. The parent is the one saying we are family.

Is it selfish to start new family and then be blind as first kids get pushed away?

I believe there is often a big difference in full and half siblings. It can never be remotely fair

Thanks

Hello All

What are you seeing for enrollment trends 26/27?

I'm at a free CC and enrollment boost seems to have hit a plateau.

I'm seeing reports HS grads are down double digits.

Your observations please

Thanks

Trying to send cash via remitly to maroc for pickup at barid cash/ la poste.

Barid cash saying no record of transaction.

Any experiences with this?

Shokran

Hello All

How many of you grew up using paracosm as an escape from reality?

Please research if not familiar. I always thought I was nuts until I came across this term.

Fyi- the very fact one is willing to question their own sanity is a hallmark of being mentally healthy.

I used paracosm to simply exist in a less painful world. Much like homeless street kids who see the same people and pretend they are part of that family.

Pretending to have a M to talk to on the phone as a kid and the conversation is lucid, speaks volumes about what I was lacking. Or a stable F to exchange dialouge with says it all.

Also, why do some of us struggle with simply acknowledging this is a brain developmental issue.

Most here knew something was off very early on.

In my case, I'm only recently coming to terms this was a biological issue much like a cancer. It's futile to try and reason, communicate or have hopes of a healthy relationship with these folks.

Its similar to being a child with a parent battling cancer. You know they cannot go out and play with us. We accept those limitations. Yet with mental health issues , some of us ( myself included) struggle with acceptance.

Could it be due to external validation? Watching my parents get houses, money and cars while I went without.

F got a house for free . Gift from his M. He sold it and moved into a crack house where I stayed for a while.

He often bragged how much cash he had. Thinking he was cool.

Yet no one called him out. Instead, I was told what a bad kid I was because my M couldn't deal with me and F didn't trust me,etc. So everything was my fault.

Had people rallied around and said these folks ain't normal, maybe it would have been different.

On a side note, there are forums on reddit for the npd themselves. Please don't go too deep into it as it's not healthy. These are the people we talk about here venting to each other.

It's often venting how dissatisfied they are with kids and family. One can almost immediately see the emotional immaturity. You can tell these people cannot give themselves to their children. It's always the adult kids did something against their wishes and they love to dangle money.

" I told my daughter my biopsy is being scheduled for Friday. Could she please re schedule her small wedding of 8 people to Sunday? Only 8 people showing because everyone hates her over her attitude. She says I'm making it about me and i called venue. They said no problem. She says I'm ruining her big day. She hasn't spoke to me for a year and yes, I refused to pay the wedding bill. I couldn't go as I may have cancer why should I pay?

I've paid enough and can't stand this one way street. She won't even ask how my biopsy went. Ugh. "

Everyone jumps in with support instead of advice don't let your kids get wet from your storms.

You can tell they all have same thought pattern. I.e frontal lobes not developed.

I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Thanks

Helo All

Thanks to those who have responded to my posts as of late about grade appeals.

I've been trying to get to the root of what is really annoying me.

I've regressed career wise. This is something that can happen to each of us. Especially adjuncts.

One institution you are teaching and doing admin work, Helping other adjuncts out , making real improvements, and when it dries up you are scrambling for courses to teach.

My problem is being low person in union place where ft teaches 9-10 courses. Only 2 in person. They get a bunch of online courses different sections, same class.

I have to spend unpaid time dealing with students appeals and admin accusations i.e instructor didn't explain late policy. I'm fighting with admin because I didn't clearly say once semester is over, no more submissions of work.

Part of the issues as one pointed out here is these places are free colleges. Whole bunch of admins getting paid to keep it running and they all need different things. Reports, student outcomes,etc

The other issue is teaching at off site locations. I've been asking myself why I'm so annoyed. I have several admins to deal with all have conflicting agendas. I get texts accusing me of letting someone out early or did I do this or that.

I wasn't sure if I was being a hothouse flower until I got this one. Asking me to keep the class going after contract and semester ends because place where class is held canceled 1x.

This is illegal. You have admins with no clue thinking they can bully and browbeat. The teaching there is awful. Can't get anything done.

There is a disconnect between admin and adjuncts. They believe we work ft year round. The irony is our low wages are what enables layers of admin.

Moral here is manage your career . Otherwise, you are getting a flurry of threatening texts about BS.

Hello All,

How do you view having summer off and yet grade appeals are happening.

The grade appeals at my public institution is getting absurd.

It's a free school and kids treat it like a flexible grade 13.

Admin helps students file appeals for every reason under the sun. Our syllabus didn't mention submitting work after the semester was over. Student claims all work was submitted online but it didn't go through and lms was down. Of course I didn't help .

I'm responding but thinking I'm not getting paid and all I'm doing is being put on trial by a group of 6 figure salary hacks who need students to keep this bloat going.

Every person on the email chain is taking home over 6 figures and im making nothing and dealing with accusations.

What is a healthy way to view this?

Thanks

Hello All,

How do you view having summer off and yet grade appeals are happening.

The grade appeals at my public institution is getting absurd.

It's a free school and kids treat it like a flexible grade 13.

Admin helps students file appeals for every reason under the sun. Our syllabus didn't mention submitting work after the semester was over. Student claims all work was submitted online but it didn't go through and lms was down. Of course I didn't help .

I'm responding but thinking I'm not getting paid and all I'm doing is being put on trial by a group of 6 figure salary hacks who need students to keep this bloat going.

Every person on the email chain is taking home over 6 figures and im making nothing and dealing with accusations.

What is a healthy way to view this?

Thanks

Hello All

Parent has been a heavy cocaine and alcohol user for many years.

In their 70s , still takes edible marijuana as the copd doesn't allow smoking. Not on oxygen but some skin discoloration.

He has always been flaky, almost dementia like.

His memory is bad and prone to rage and being mean has gotten much worse.

I reconnected 10 years ago but quickly went low contact due to his insanity. Accusations, demands,etc.

I was told dementia over 10 years would have finished him. Instead, frontal lobe damage from substance abuse may be the culprit.

I'm trying to figure out what his issues are.

I know one cannot dx. Just looking for suggestions.

Thanks

Hello,

Both parents started new families after the divorce ( I was 8).

I didn't know either of the new families ( both fell apart as well).

I do know no one ever contacted me for 25 years. F did looking for help with new kids being on drugs.

Other than that interaction, I don't think anyone considered me family. Grandmother on M side believed M nonsense on why she had to abandon me as a kid and fully embrace new family.

I always see first set of kids get pushed away. Almost always!

This is especially true when inheritance comes around.

New family shocked first kids are legally entitled.

Even relatives side with new kids i.e that's the family home. First kids shouldn't have a right to it. They never set foot in there,etc.

Why is this a phenomenon and how common is it?

I have a few friends in similar situations. Step parents family has celebrations and my friends may get invite from his parent but he knows they are not family. They don't celebrate his birthdays.

One guy told me his mother took him for Xmas and went to her new hubby's parents house with their kids. Guy didn't know anyone as he saw mother occasionally. He saw pictures of his younger siblings everywhere. He was a guest.

His mother made up some bs errand to run with him. They went out for a few and when they came back, all the presents were open. He knew she took him out as there was nothing for him under tree. He played it off which is impressive for a 10 year old. It hurt him though. M in new family,etc.

It's only the bio parent pushing the whole one family narrative.

I've seen numerous inheritance situations where kids who called people grandparents were not listed in will but half siblings are.

One young lady had her mother die, leave her a house and assets. Absent father showed up with his new family insisting she be fair and split with " her sisters".

When one remarries and has more kids, are they in fact starting a new family?

Everyone seems to think yes except the person doing it.

I've had step families and it's polite but awkward. The parent is the one saying we are family.

Is it selfish to start new family and then be blind as first kids get pushed away?

I believe there is often a big difference in full and half siblings. It can never be remotely fair

Thanks

Hello All,

If you were trying to do rol ups in the accounting ( tax , bookkeeping, payroll space), what model / approach would you take?

Platform company then negotiate to buy mom and pop firms with a large percentage in the earnout? These firms are based on personality and relationships.

Your thoughts please?

Please fill me in on what you do?

Takalim Arabia ?

Hello,

F was 21 and M 17 were when I was born. Statutory rape case but they married. I recall F telling me how awful my my grandmother was for wanting have him arrested.

Parents divorced when I was around 9. F had been in prison for drug trafficking. His mother blamed me as surveillance photos showed me in car as a child on some deals and judge gave him extra time.

This has been a theme throughout. Grandmother's on both sides give their kids everything yet blame me. I recall F mother telling me how she told her son not to put his name on my birth certificate.

I watched them gets cars, houses, etc. Yet, I was on my own with no resources trying to build a life. And demonized by everyone.

F remarried to another much younger person in my teens . He told her his past was caused by ex wife being into drugs. He didn't know kids that well but was stuck with child support. We stayed with him cause he couldn't afford new family and child support. His wife was not happy.

Mother gone at this point. 5 kids 4 different men but her mother told me I should be helping her. I'm 18 living on my own working going to school and I'm a jerk for not giving her money. She told everyone I was such a bad kid she didn't want me around her new family. They all died of overdoses

F married lasted a few years as they got hooked on crack cocaine and he went to jail.

I recall I sort of stopped speaking to parents or they stopped reaching out. Somehow we didn't talk for 20 years.

F showed up one day bragging about money telling me I fucked him over in life but he survived. It was like the 12 steps but find people who hurt you and tell them you are better than them. It was surreal.

He called a bunch of times yelling into vm about me not calling back. One time he sung a song about my aunt putting perfume on her vagina. He sounded like he had schizophrenia.

He also reached out to my cousin before he contacted me asking how I dressed and if I looked like I have money. Cousin told me.

He started demanding I speak to his kids from marriage #2 who were on drugs and raised in foster care. I said they can call me but he doesn't need to be involved. They are adults.

He started telling me I abandoned everyone, etc. He doesn't speak to he hurls accusations.

He looks gray skin, couldn't remember his cousins. Heavy , drinker, weed , cocaine and cigarettes.

We met a handful of times but it Always turned bad. He was just waiting for time to pop off. I could see it. I have kids and don't want them around that

In his 70s. Could him trying to reach out to me have been vasuclar dementia? I don't know anyone that knows him to get information. We haven't spoken in years.

Why do narcs always have family support and we get chased away and demonized?

I believe it's too big of an ask to get children to realize parents are not well or a parent to realize their child is sick. Nature built those ties in. Therefore, it's easier for family to demonize us. He told everyone I was gonna steal all his stuff so his kids couldn't get it and his kids should never trust me.

Meanwhile, they are heroin addicts.

Thanks

As salamu aleikum,

Those of you from USA and English speaking countries, what schools are you sending your children to?

​

Baraka loufik