u/Ill_Bread_8469

É só esse o texto mesmo. Eu entendo que as organizações maoístas no Brasil são muito mais difíceis de serem contatadas devido à ênfase mais forte no trabalho ilegal e por conta da perseguição mais forte que elas sofrem. Mas há alguma maneira de entrar em contato com essas organizações?

Hunter Biden (when asked about possible solutions to US's community disengagement):"Well, for one, this [...] for me to be able to talk to someone i vehemently disagree with (refering to Nick Fuentes), and find some kind of common ground"

The text is self-explanatory. This is just a funny thought i had while watching the movie. If the One-Wish Willow can override free will and make people madly obsess over someone, what would be the consequences for me to wish that every single human being on existence loved me more than anything else in the universe? Surely nothing bad can happen /s.

You know, i have always grown up to believe only the righteous deserve a place among the earth. I don't mean it in a religious sense, of course. But that only those that upholded the social contract - that never hurted anybody, never abused, never partook in the suffering of others voluntarily and knowingly - deserved to breathe and to live another day in earth. And i always believed i would be different, that i never would be like those monsters that roam our society - murderers, abusers, sadists, egotists that turn a blind eye to the suffering of their fellow people. I would be one of the others in our society, normal and upright.

Yet day after day, my belief is shaken beyond measure. I hurt former friends, acquaintances, the people around me, all in avoidable ways, had only i not choose the worst option. Sometimes i didn't even know i was hurting them, i just didn't want to feel alone. Sometimes i was just too wicked to do the right thing and not hurt them, all because of my self-gratification. I can't even muster the courage to say the things i have done to them. I'm feeling alone, knowing that i'm slowly turning away all other people in my life due to my decisions. Yet i don't even feel like i deserve to cry or feel sorrow, because they are all just alligator tears. They don't mean nothing, because those were my choices, and i only have myself to blame for them.

It's like a never-ending cycle of wanting to be near other people, but hurting them, and withdrawing to avoid furthing hurting other people, but then hurting myself because of the solitude, and trying once again to meet new people. I always try, consciously, to not make them feel uncomfortable, but i always mess something up: i used to be agressive, so i try to be more friendly and calm, but now some people think i'm too obsequitious. I used to not hug and touch other people, but this made cold and distant, so i tried to touch and hug more, but now i'm too disrespecting of other people's personal space. People mocked me for not having a romantic relationship, so i tried to pursue it more actively, but now i am too creepy and upfront.

Sometimes i thought it was my autism, or some behavioral disorder i had. But the more i saw other people with similar problems succeeding in making other people happy, the more i realised the problem was me.

If only the righteous among the earth deserve to live, then what does that say about me?

I don't understand. The more i try to make people love me, to cherish me, the more they seem disturbed, put off by my behavior.

I honestly never really cared about dating. It felt such a lowly, base past-time made for people with no direction in their lives. I was quite content, prideful and boastful in my interest for the arts, for the sciences, and philosophy. I could study hours a day, and never be bored by what i genuinely liked.

But then came my high-school friends, and i gave my all. I loved people at my school. And i still love all my peers, all my colleagues. I love when they pay attention to me, when they make me feel like i'm one of them, that i'm just as better as them in all that they do. I'd do anything to have that feeling forever. Yet despite everything in my power to make them like me - talking like them, spending time with them, doing things that honestly felt boring and pointless, none of it was enough. One of those things was dating. They mocked me for being a virgin, for being a shut-in, for not flirting, etc. I thought people would love, identify mor with myself if i started dating. It would prove that i'm not inferior to them, and that i also can socialize just as better as they do.

And so did i. I made almost a scientific endeavour on it, testing what doesn't work, what does. I finally dated some girls. It always ended awfully, because i didn't know and often did not have interest in engaging in a relationship. But what mattered to me is that it became a part of me, a part that i wanted people to identify themselves with it.

It amounted to nothing. I'm at Med school now (another thing that didn't work: enrolling in the greatest university of my region and doing a course of prestige did jack to make people love me and see me as different, as something that stands out. I still do Medicine for genuine interest, but it eludes me that even this is not enough to "un-lame" me), and my peers are still put off by me. If now i felt like they saw me as the creepy, awkward loner, i now feel like they see me as the inconvenient, creepy guy that needs to be shun down so he stops bothering other people. I thought being more flirting, more assertive, talking more to people would make them like me, but it always has the opposite effect - they seem to like me *less* when i talk to them, and telling them that i have a girlfriend doesn't do bull.

Why? I did what everyoned asked of me. Trying to be more charming, jokeful, and flirting. I have difficulty studying, reading, making my art and poetry, all because i lay in bed thinking about what i did to make them not like me, and what i should do to improve, and i can't concentrate in things i once used to love dearly. Yet when i did exactly what they asked of me, it did nothing. I started to once again speak less once my talkative, humorous persona didn't work, and they still once again have no interest in me. They all hang out together, play soccer, feast together, party, and i'm all left out.

It can't be because of my appearance. I'm not really ugly, and people less beautiful than me hang out, make friends and date just fine. It can't be because of my ASD. My other autistic peers are still popular and talk just fine. I don't think i'm that boring. I'm not an all-knowing God, but i do have a lot of knowledge in various topics in science, philosophy, video-games, anime, etc - things that they do talk to eachother, yet when i speak, it feels different, unwanted. What is missing?