I need my ego to feel like there's a reason to be doing things.
My ego is what tells me I'll be special if I accomplish X or Y, but now after spiritual awakening I am no longer motivated by my ego.
Feels like a dark side to awakening. Nothing matters but you're still alive and have to keep on working.
It seemed easier to live when I was under the illusion that what I did mattered.
We could've been eternal beings with the ability to just choose which world we want our consciousness projected into, with the option to leave whenever we are bored.
Instead we are trapped in this one and are going to die in this one.
We have no free will to choose whether we get cancer or not. Our deaths will be agonizing and full of regret.
In another universe, there are beings who have the technology to do whatever they want. While we were born too early to experience such a thing.
Like imagine if you had a world where you're an eternal being, and from that world you can project your consciousness into infinite possibilities, and leave those worlds when you're bored.
instead of being trapped working a 9-5, imagine if we could just leave whenever we want and go to a different simulation.
Surely this world isn't the best God could come up with?
Like out of infinite possibilities, I'd rather be somewhere else.
Imagine being God but you are stuck working a job, oh wait you don't have to imagine it because it's reality.
It's extremely mundane being God.
I feel like I seen everything life has to offer except start a family.
I don't want to start a family but I now see why people get children.
I am dreading the fact that I still got possibly 50+ more years of this.