u/Independent_Lynx1389

doesn’t need to be a serious chat, just not been feeling happiness lately and it’s making it hard to get up in the morning so i just want someone to talk to

okay i made a post earlier about how i haven’t read past the 3rd book and now i want to read up til the 6th book all original and then switch to a really good really accurate rewrite of the last book where it’s drarry cannon and like drarry based if that is out there..thank you

my fiance is obsessed with harry potter like read the books and all, and i’ve watched all the movies with him which is where i found drarry and became obsessed with the pairing and the fics in the fandom. i read the first 3 books because my fiance begged me to and i did like the but after every book all i could think about was fan fiction and how i would rather be reading that. that’s why i haven’t picked up the fourth book yet. and my fiance begs me to finish them and when i tell him oh i just like romantic books more, he tries to tell me to hang on for harry and ginny (UGH NO) and it’s just not what i want. i love drarry fan fictions and i would read all of harry potter in 1 day if drarry was actually cannon and in the original story. idk i wanted to see if anyone could relate or if im just super weird

about 32 days into vape quitting. i’ve always struggled with finding things that make me happy, i don’t have any hobbies and since recovering from my eating disorder and quitting drinking i’ve found that nothing can really replace the gaping hole thise things have left in my life. like how i wish a good book or tv show would fill me with the same joyful feeling but it just doesn’t. nothing does. not even having out with my friends anymore. my friend had a birthday picnic yesterday and the whole time i was there i was thinking how if j was at home scrolling on my phone i would be having the same amount of fun-little to none. and it’s starting to really kill me because my fiance loves to do things and wants me to do all these things with him but none of it makes me happy at all. and i complain we don’t do things i want to do but i don’t want to do anything and that’s the problem. so i never feel joy unless im smoking weed or having an orgasm. idk what’s wrong with me, i just can’t figure out what makes me want to wake up in the fuckinf morning. and ive been thinking about self harm lately, not in a bad way but just thinking about it. my cat scratched my arm and it hurt and left a arm and it for once made my brain shut up fo 5 seconds and i just keep thinking about how i wish i could hurt myself in private without anyone knowing as a way to deal with these thoughts in my head. but i can’t because i share my life with someone so i can’t

today is day 31 meaning i’ve completed 30 days without vaping! it’s been hard but finally i can wake up without the first thought being where the vape is. yay me!

today is day 18 and i don’t feel anything at all. i gave up vaping because i assumed it was contributing to my bad GERD but things haven’t really gotten any better since i quit. i will say ive been using a disposable cart (weed pen) and everytime i hit it i get terrible trapped gas so im gonna quit using that as well. i’m just sad, and empty. i’ve given up so much that makes me happy because of my gerd and yeah these things are bad for me but they’re what i liked and idk how to fill my time without them. i don’t like anything, i went to work today and after i got home from a miserable shift and smoked bud outside, i didn’t know what to do with myself. i played tomodachi life for a bit but other than that i flipped thru apps on my phone like a mad man and made myself feel insane talking to myself in my head. just a nothing burger ass day and most dad go this way cause i don’t wanna do anything ever not even something simple like watch the tv. i went on a walk but i have fatigue from my gerd episode so i can only do so much. anyways wanted to check in

i’m so low energy and at the point of giving up today. my gerd has been really bad and i’ve already given up alcohol 10 months ago, and i decided to quit vaping 18 days ago because my gerd hasn’t even improving and i knew nictotine was an issue for gerd havers. anyways i figured things would get better but they haven’t. i’m a big weed smoker and i bought a disposable cart to help with quitting vaping and everytime i hit it i get horrible gas in my stomach and it’s been giving me really bad side and back pain. my acids been terrible and i just want to cry. probably going to have to quit smoking or atleast cut down for a while, but im just depressed about it. i don’t have hobbies and i don’t like to do things. my seretonin is probably fried and that’s my fault but it’s just so hard and restricting to have gerd.

i’ve been sound really well, but today i just feel sad. my gerd is acting up so i have bad fatigue and trapped gas and i just wanna go back to bed bud i have to work for 6.5 more hours lol. just not in the mood and i think quitting has something to do with it idk