u/InevitableEternal

My ex has a medical support order in place but dropped our kids from their insurance due to a job change in January. I was on medical leave so my employer would not allow me to add them to my insurance then or even when I returned to work due to reduced hours. I added them during open enrollment after providing my ex with the amounts for both kids and him again refusing to cover them on his insurance and requesting that they be covered on my policy. In my first paycheck with this change their coverage is 43% of my gross income. Even with adjusting my hours (without medical approval), I will still pay 35% gross just for my kids premiums, while he gets a credit for insurance he dropped six months ago. Should I file now knowing it’s going to take months before family court schedules anything to address this? Even though it’s barely started and I just have one paystub so far to document the situation?

So my uber PIMI brother decided it was his place to text an encyclopedia in the family group chat outlining why I deserved to be shunned (all because my husband and I called out my mother for insulting us behind our backs) and how I needed to ask the elders for forgiveness. So now I’m just being a jerk and doubling down on the disrespect and pressing that while we’re in different places my husband and I regard them each with respect and would not be two faced and that Jesus wouldn’t tolerate that kind of hypocrisy. I’m preparing myself for the fact that I’ll probably be blocking all of them (mother, father, brother and sister) by the end of the week. It’s one thing to have to shun your family member and do so with some internal conflict but it’s quite another thing to enjoy it. Would anyone like to adopt a 40-something remarried mom of teens?

So the nonsense with my mom insulting my husband and I by accidentally texting me instead of my sister (she refuses to wear her glasses, my sister and I have similar short names that start with the same letter) happened while my husband was working his butt off at his second job and didn’t get home until 2.5 hours after he should have been off. Saturday we finally got to talk out how upsetting it was, the specifics and why I don’t feel the need to have contact with my mom for the foreseeable future. Then he started working on his own reply in our group chat with my parents and siblings so he could say his peace about us being disrespected, them not being welcomed at our home any longer, how he doesn’t want to be bombarded with scriptures and watchtower articles when they live like hypocrites and they can go complain to their elders, etc. I mean, at first I kinda felt like it came on a bit harsh but if you mess with a bull I’m not here to protect you from the horns. Today I don’t feel bad, no replies, my mother is probably victimizing herself and making excuses for her actions and blaming us for calling her out. Or she’s crying to her elders about how horrible I am for keeping her beloved grandchildren away from her when she is a shitty grandparent to begin with. And to be fair I don’t want my kids to lose any more family members but if they don’t respect me as my kids primary parent and the one responsible for them, no access granted. If they are going to interrogate me and call me on the carpet for every single thing I’ve ever done wrong and resurrect every one of my sins, then they better be able to do the same. If not, then let me live my life in peace.

Shared from my post in another community, relevant to this community:

My family shuns me and it finally came to a head today when I found a text message from my mother she didn’t mean to send to me. She called my husband my puppet, which is rude and wildly inaccurate, and then she tried to delete it but she’s not tech savvy. Then today she sent a fake nice message saying her and my dad wanted to sit with us to talk when my kids aren’t around (that’s never). So I kindly said she’s welcome to be wrong but not contemptuous and disrespectful and we had nothing to talk about and then the backpedaling started so I blocked her. It’s hard being an orphan by choice.

Copied and pasted from another post I made, I hope that’s ok:

My family shuns me and it finally came to a head today when I found a text message from my mother she didn’t mean to send to me. She called my husband my puppet, which is rude and wildly inaccurate, and then she tried to delete it but she’s not tech savvy. Then today she sent a fake nice message saying her and my dad wanted to sit with us to talk when my kids aren’t around (that’s never). So I kindly said she’s welcome to be wrong but not contemptuous and disrespectful and we had nothing to talk about and then the backpedaling started so I blocked her. It’s hard being an orphan by choice.

My family shuns me and it finally came to a head today when I found a text message from my mother she didn’t mean to send to me. She called my husband my puppet, which is rude and wildly inaccurate, and then she tried to delete it but she’s not tech savvy. Then today she sent a fake nice message saying her and my dad wanted to sit with us to talk when my kids aren’t around (that’s never). So I kindly said she’s welcome to be wrong but not contemptuous and disrespectful and we had nothing to talk about and then the backpedaling started so I blocked her. It’s hard being an orphan by choice.

It’s not my job forcing me, it’s my life. I have two kids, their dad split from us 5 years ago and it’s been an ongoing battle to keep him financially and medically accountable regarding health insurance ever since. We both remarried in 2025 for context, and early in 2026, I had the wrist surgery that led me to developing CRPS in my left hand and wrist, now spreading to my shoulder. I was on medical leave for the surgery when my ex dropped our kids off their health insurance because he didn’t want to pay for it. I couldn’t take them on mine because my job wouldn’t allow it while I was on leave and not working. After my diagnosis I went back part time in a different role, I can no longer work in my chosen profession due to CRPS and even with this modification I still work in pain. Now we’ve reached open enrollment for health insurance, it’s going to cost 41% of my gross income full time (as long as I can push myself) to insure me and my kids. I presented the $ amount to my ex who is court ordered to provide insurance and he still refused and told me he wants me to add them to my insurance. Now my husband, who is already working 2 jobs to cover my reduced hours, and I are scrambling to figure out how we’re going to pay for our bills and necessities until I can take my ex back to court over this. I’m exhausted working three days a week averaging 22-25 hours, but I have to work 40 to make our budget for this. How do I explain this condition to a family court judge, that the average person can work full time for pennies but for me, I’m going to be working through the intense suffering that CRPS brings? My job gave us literally three days to figure all of this out before it goes into effect so I have to talk to my manager about going full time next week from now on. Sorry for the long read. On a positive note, I’m a good candidate for the clinical trial and may participate in it later this summer/fall, so maybe that’s how I survive this nightmare?

Please know I understand that many would love the ability to work at all and that desire is not lost on me. I’m asking from a place of genuine curiosity as someone who is newly diagnosed and trying to balance all of life’s demands and now a chronic pain condition on top of already having type 1 diabetes. I’m working part time in an adjusted role, I cannot go back to my normal job because of my hand and wrist being so limited, so I’m more admin now. But financially I feel the need to get back to full time as soon as possible. Does anyone here have the ability to work full time and have CRPS, particularly upper limb? I’m in OT/hand therapy 3 times per week, on nerve and anti inflammatory medications, have had one nerve block with temporary relief and am trying to get involved in the clinical trial closest to me.

Anybody else still have one? Mine is a glorified lawn ornament at this point, and a monthly insurance expense I don’t need. I’ve owned it for 20 years this spring, I wanted to keep it going for 300K but I don’t think I can justify the expense of fixing it anymore for another 50,000 miles when I bought a replacement 2 years ago. This has been my absolute favorite car, I’ve had a lot of fun and adventures with it, so many memories in 2 decades, it’s been with me through so many life changes and struggles including my own difficulties learning how to do my own work on it as a single mom years ago. I get the love for something new and shiny or impressive to look at but until you’ve had a ride or die car, you just don’t understand.

My CRPS started with my wrist and hand but now seems to have spread to my left shoulder. Originally my OT/CHT thought the pain was due to guarding from my wrist surgery and immobility but even with exercises it’s only getting worse. I saw a sub CHT Tuesday and she was like “you need to see someone”. I made an appointment with Dr. Kearns at Philadelphia Hand and Shoulder Center (my wrist surgeon and pain specialist are both affiliated), anyone have an history with him? My pain specialist sent in Meloxicam which I’ll start tomorrow, something has to help or give me some answers.

My ex went to rehab in April-May which meant upon his return he had only supervised (by me) visits with our teenage kids for 4 weeks. Now we have to come to a decision together about how to move forward, and I’m not 100% sure. Would it be inappropriate to ask for some kind of attendance record from his IOP, no treatment details, but verification he’s going, as reassurance he’s adhering to an aftercare plan? My gut is not trusting what his wife has told me, that he’s “doing the work” (she’s lied to me before), and she is no longer living with him. I’m very much of the trust but verify ideology when it comes to anything either of them tells me because they’ve both lied to me before and rather than argue, I’d rather have proof in case we have to go to court. So am I just being a jerk or am I being a discerning parent to make sure he’s following an aftercare plan before I send my kids over there alone? I recognize my own issues here, my mama bear desire to protect my kids from their dad’s instability, my desire for information that may not be mine to know and generally trying to control the unknown.

I go for my first nerve block tomorrow with my first pain specialist, things I didn’t expect to be doing in my life when I had surgery on my wrist back in January. Tomorrow determines if my shoulder pain is related to the CRPS if it also responds well or if it’s a separate issue that I need to see a shoulder specialist for. I broke down sobbing last night because my spouse just took on a second job since I’m barely working part time and we’re drowning. I’m mourning the career I can’t go back to because of how limited my mobility is in my wrist and now I’m trying to pivot to a new kind of role in the same field. But I see what my diagnosis costs us in numbers, $60/week for OT/PT, medications, taking off work and driving 200 miles round trip for my orthopedic appointments and now a pain specialist and maybe a shoulder specialist (I’ll find one closer to home). Mentally I have the drive to work full time and grab a second job to help out, but physically I’m limited by my CRPS and pain. I’m trying not to put too much hope in this nerve block doing much, but I kinda need it to do something productive. I’m in my 40s, I did not expect to be held back by my health this soon in life.

I’ve just finished my second (or third, my brain is a little foggy today) Medrol pack for a joint flare up since being diagnosed in April and having surgery in January. I tolerate it pretty well for being a type 1 diabetic, just wondering if anyone else needs steroids frequently or I just get to be special. It didn’t seem to do much for my shoulder but it did calm down a little.

Has anyone transitioned from chairside assisting to a treatment coordinator? I’ve transitioned to front desk for the moment and will be moving forward soon. Any tips or suggestions?

So I’m a newbie, diagnosed less than 6 weeks with this fun disease in my left hand and wrist with it possibly creeping into my left shoulder and neck (or it’s compensatory due to my wrist). After reporting this change to my shoulder to my hand surgeon’s PA, she and her awesome staff worked their magic and got me in with the group’s pain specialist for a stellate ganglion nerve block it looks like. I know I need it but I’m a little nervous about a needle in my neck and being fully aware of the procedure. But it’s what I need.

I have early CRPS in my left wrist and hand, making progress in hand therapy sessions and my elbow gives me no trouble. But in the last two weeks my left shoulder has tightened up so much. I’m now adding specific exercises to try to loosen it up but it’s painful. Could this be a progression of the CRPS, like moving from one joint to another in the same limb but not the closest one?

Mentally I started checking out 2 years ago and I wrote my DA letter a little over a year ago, laying the background. 3rd generation on one side, 4th generation on the other, youngest of 3. I married a wonderful never JW and we’re now raising my 2 kids outside of the organization. My hubby recently caught my mother in a lie (in a family group text) about shunning and excluding me so my dad and brother came out swinging. My brother has browbeat me with scriptures before so it was more of that and a flurry of jdub dot org articles about how I’m a sinner and I need to repent because I’m “removed”. I threatened legal action against my BOE if they discussed my DA letter with any other publishers or harassed me or my kids at our home. So my brother was “asking” to know the terms of my removal and my hubby told him to mind his own business. Is it me or would the average person not have the audacity to speak to a relative stranger like this? It’s like they’re (my dad and brother) bargaining over control of me like I’m property or livestock. And yet it still stings to know my family hated me this much all along.

My ex just got home a few days ago from inpatient treatment according to his wife and because of how he was admitted and our custody orders, his visitation is suspended. Now that he’s back he has to begin with a minimum of 4 weeks of supervised visits but I may be stuck supervising. The nature of his questions regarding setting visits up have been exactly as demanding and entitled as usual for him. I recognize that I’m projecting my own expectations of how I’d feel leaving 4 weeks of inpatient care for alcohol addiction onto him and assuming a drastic change in behavior so that is a me problem that I need to adjust. But his selfish behavior towards me is not sitting well and I’m not catering to it. I’m not compromising my kids safety for his convenience when I have to determine his stability to be around our kids at all. I don’t think he’s understanding the reason for the supervising; it originally was to assess mental health stability but now it’s to also gauge sobriety. I know the selfish nature of addiction and alcoholism, I am 6.5 years sober and reconcile my weaknesses daily. But what I’m already observing is a complete lack of change, it’s like he’s exactly the same person. I’m having a moment of frustration and I know with sleep and time I’ll get perspective and think clearer on it and get my head on straight.

My ex husband is coming home “early” from rehab today and I feel like it’s the calm before the storm. I know his recovery is his own, I have zero input in it and I have no control nor do I want it. I’m reflecting back on my own first 30 days sober (I did not go to inpatient care) and how much I struggled even with the support of my mental health providers and my sobriety support system, I had to make my real life gentler without my ex’s direct support (we were together back then) and it was a bear fight. My only responsibility here is regarding custody of our two teenagers, and because of the nature of his situation, he has no visitation until he ca demonstrate stability in an outpatient setting. I know I need to manage my pessimistic thoughts and feelings, I just don’t see this going well, as he’s jumping straight from inpatient to normal life. But maybe the wrong here is my expectation and not the plan and I need to sit back and wait with my kids behind me and let him figure it out. I’m prejudging the situation, based on my experiences with him and his behavior that has been untrustworthy and unreliable and I own that as a me problem. How do I look at this and not see doom and gloom and just let it play out? Is this just my traumatized brain trying to prepare myself so I’m not blindsided?

My orthopedic surgeon has put in a request for me to see the group’s orthopedic pain specialist but that was a month ago and I haven’t heard anything. If I find someone on my own, should it be ortho-specific or should it just be pain management who can do a stellate ganglion nerve block and any other reasonable treatments for my hand/wrist CRPS? I was diagnosed in mid April but showing signs since March so I’m getting antsy about missing my ideal treatment window and worrying about permanent disability.