Spiraling
LO is a coworker. I've been waning off limerence, bit by bit. Some days better some days worse...
I get sad when I see her cause I know she barely even registers me. And I don't like feeling sad when I see someone I like. It sucks. Therefore my efforts to get off limerence.
Now, to my 4 am spiraling: we usually have to take a shifts the weekends. It's not mandatory but it kinda is, you know how it goes. We used to have similar schedules, we'd sit close by and chat on downtime. This month scheduling changed and I got a fixed shift in weekends while hers depends on company needs. Now. She asked to take this weekend off, also, another coworker, male, has the weekend off. I know these last few weekends they've been sharing a similar schedule. I know the most probable thing is nothing is happening but of course my fucking head won't let me be. I feel sad, angry, jealous, confused, silly, confused again and dumb.
I don't want to feel this way! Even if something is happening between them, it's got nothing to do with me! Good gosh, I want off of this train of thought. It fucking sucks. I want calm, I don't want to be limerencing over someone with whom I'll have nothing...