▲ 11 r/Jokesuncensored
Why would you become an Islamic fundamentalist suicide bomber on the off chance you might get 72 virgins when you die?
Become a catholic priest.
Have them now!
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 9 days ago
u/JimmyCarr_Official
r/inspiration r/UnitedAmericaHQ r/bullying r/modernwisdom r/dadjokes r/SlopcoreCirclejerk r/horrorhumour r/MediocreTutorials r/heartbreak r/JoeRogan r/BreakupSurvival r/motivation r/darkfunny r/Jokesuncensored r/LastOneLaughing r/DarkHumorHell r/3amjokes r/u_JimmyCarr_Official r/Killtony r/YOUAREIT r/rareinsults r/DystopianToday r/generativeAI r/Jokes r/malementalhealth r/MurderBryan r/EnoughMuskSpam r/Breakupadvice r/quotes r/inspirationalquotes r/MotivationalThoughts r/kindness r/ArtificialSentience r/TopGear r/8outof10cats r/StandUpComedy r/comedy r/capitalism_in_decay
▲ 0 r/Jokes
To keep things fresh in the bedroom, we do a little bit of role play. I’d recommend it if you’re in a long-term relationship. How it works is she pretends to be a nurse and I pretend
… I’m still attracted to her.
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 21 days ago
▲ 0 r/dadjokes
Climate change is like my niece.
It’s getting hotter every year.
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 1 month ago
▲ 28 r/Jokes
I’ve written a two-word joke. "Stepdads…"
... Motherfuckers"
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 1 month ago
▲ 402 r/Jokes
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children.
Fair enough. Use an ashtray.
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 1 month ago
Thoughts on Elon musk becoming a trillionare
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 1 month ago
▲ 77 r/Jokes
Velcro is actually a brand name for a type of hook-and-loop fastener. Other companies have attempted to copy the idea.
But their versions are just rip-offs.
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 1 month ago
▲ 162 r/StandUpComedy
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 1 month ago
▲ 600 r/Jokes
I told my best friend I f*cked his wife and got her pregnant.
That cured his hiccups.
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 2 months ago
▲ 63 r/3amjokes
3% of Britain's never leave a tip.
They're known as the weirdos that live at the tip.
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 2 months ago
▲ 81 r/3amjokes
Wetting your bed is embarrassing as a child but as an adult...
Wetting a child's bed is mortifying. It's almost impossible to explain.
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 2 months ago
▲ 84 r/dadjokes
Someone came up to me outside and said "I thought you'd be younger"
I said, "I was".
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 2 months ago
▲ 0 r/Jokes
The popular singer Sting's often bragging about his 8-hour night sex sessions with his wife Trudy.
Imagine how long he'd be able to keep it up if she was a looker...
u/JimmyCarr_Official — 2 months ago