u/Kyashichan

Recently I was very upset over a healthcare issue--just getting the runaround from insurance. It's frustrating.

Someone close to me kept trying to make light of it but I was really frustrated and it felt like they were making light of that, and making it sound like nobody else in America feels this way about health insurance. So I became defensive. (My bad, I understand that.)

But when they tried to keep talking about it later and I attempted to explain why it had frustrated me so much, they asked which version of myself are they talking to and then said they think my DID is in full swing.

That didn't make any sense to me because that's not what happens here. I'm in America--the land of the impossible medical insurance to the point where CEO's end up laying face down on the NY street if you get what I'm saying. Clearly I'm not the only one who is frustrated with medical insurance. (I'm not saying I would Luigi the guy. I'm just saying this is evidence that I'm not alone in my frustration.)

But this person kept saying it's because my parents didn't help me when I was younger and things like that--making it out to be that it's not just the crappy system we have in this country.

And somehow he related this to my DID?

Would you guys feel off after they said this to you? I know it's not abnormal for a close person to point out that they are seeing signs of switching or something, but in this case I felt like he threw it in my face that I have DID basically instead of listening to my actual frustration.

I’m with my client for the 7th session and he’s got his tablet. Parents have been told to implement less tablet time especially outside of session so he doesn’t associate it with the tablet being taken just for sessions.

They have not reduced tablet time as far as I can tell. He spends at least half of his session on his tablet or watching TV. If I interact with him, he pushes me away.

I have successfully got him to at least echo me when I say ‘go away’ but beyond that I can’t do anything at all.

The BCBA said she will address this in parent training this week (again).

But I dont know how to pair with my client if he’s only wanting a tablet and silence from me.

My first client and he’s very adverse to having me with him. He doesn’t like if I sing or hum the songs he listens to. He doesn’t like if I try to play with toys next to him. He will push me away or engage in other maladaptive behavior.

But I have to interact once every 15 minutes at least.

How 😭

It’s not just the jump scaring but the jump scaring is the final straw. I have witnessed multiple things at work that make me think the place is turning a blind eye to toxic practices. I’ve made complaints about that.

So knowing that, I then have a co-worker jump scare me the other day. He scared me so bad I threw what was in my hand and it triggered me to the point of crying. I understand that typically someone doesn’t insta cry when scared. But those with trauma and other disabilities do. So I did.

I told my immediate manager about it and also said I would talk to this person when I calmed down but I wanted to document this because I had to step off the floor to re-regulate my nervous system.

She pulled him to the office, spoke to him, then left the store for the day while I was still in the bathroom regulating myself.

After this, the co-worker wouldn’t even talk to me. I messaged the manager and told her I wasn’t okay, and her response was that we would talk about it when I’m back in to work. (Mind you, I still had the majority of an 8 hour shift to work while still severely dis regulated.) I explained that I appreciated her concern, but I don’t think talking in a few days would help me with the panicked feeling I was currently struggling with. She did not reply until the next day where she said we would talk when I’m in next.

Am I overreacting by not wanting to even return? This isn’t just about the jump scare. There is a history of ignoring safety and ethical concerns in the past and I was already feeling exhausted. Now I feel exhausted, embarrassed, ignored and way under supported.

I was recently diagnosed with OSDD. I wasn’t told a type. Just OSDD.

I was told to talk to my parts in the morning and see if anyone responded. I’m doing that. But I can’t tell if it’s ‘my’ thoughts or theirs.

For example, I called in to work the next day. I asked my parts ‘does anyone want to go to work? I head a ‘no’ and that was it. So I said screw it, let’s stay home.

How do I know that wasn’t just me saying I wanna stay home? How do I know who that was? How can I tell if I’m talking to them or just myself?

I feel like I am making it up. I know that’s a common feeling. But we are co-conscious I think. At least some of us are. I can tell when I’m not me, but I can’t remember everything we do all of the time. Even mid convo, I can’t remember what some people say to me and I end up tripping over the convo because I forgot what someone said and it has consequences to relationships.

I know I’m not alone. I’m just a new system, or at least newly aware. I always knew but I didn’t know ya know?

Hey so I have no write ups. No verbal warnings. I’m a manager.

I asked for an ADA accommodation and then FMLA a few months later.

Two days after FMLA paperwork was sent to me, they gave me a very poor review that essentially functions as a PIP.

Then when I pointed out the inconsistencies and blatant lies on the review, and the poor timing, they put me on admin leave for something that is not a policy violation.

Now I am being told that I have a meeting with H.R. today when my shift would regularly start. They moved the manager to the same closing shift as me but have not removed my shift from the schedule. We never have two managers close on a Monday. It’s just not busy enough. In their haste they also didn’t update the opening mangers shift, so it looks weird even if you don’t know what’s happening with me.

They want me to bring all of my dates and times for the things I made complaints about.

And we will ‘discuss the findings of the investigation’ from when I was on admin leave. They did their investigation over the weekend as my admin leave started Friday.

I fear this all adds up to firing. I’m going to be asked for the evidence I have (which helps them build their case) and then they will let me go from whatever they found on investigation.

But then again why would they have a full meeting, normally firings are very quick meetings.

How would yall feel?

I have only recently accepted that I could have DID.

But I dont know. Hence taking the assessment.

What I’m wondering is what causes y’all to acknowledge/accept the possibility or actual diagnosis?

For me is was when I looked up from what I was doing at work and realized I actually didn’t feel like I was there, and that I couldn’t remember the previous transaction that had literally just happened in front of me.

That’s when I knew I needed to talk to the therapist.

We will explore my assessment answers in two weeks. I have 2 weeks to juggle how I feel and take notes on what I’m doing and feeling.

Good day,

I got a new general manager a month ago. When she took over there wasn't a schedule for the following week. I had doctors appointments I needed to schedule for an injury (not work related) I had recently suffered and I asked if she would be getting it out. I told her I knew shew as new and obviously it wasn't her fault. I was just trying to schedule my appointment with the least amount of disruptions for the company. She said she'd have it out by end of day and she would like to have them out three weeks in advance in the future.

End of day-no schedule is released.

So the next time I see her I ask, and she says again that she'd have it by end of day.

Again, no schedule by end of day. At this point it was my day off and the doctor was calling me to schedule imaging. I made the appointment for a week out (it was the soonest they had) and I messaged her saying that since I didn't have a schedule I had to schedule this imaging. I wouldn't be at work at that time but if I'm scheduled, I'll come in late.

She responded that she needs some grace on things because she's new to the role.

I responded that I was just giving her a weeks notice that I couldn't be there that day due to a medical appointment for an injury.

Since then she's been delayed on releasing the schedule and she's not releasing it 3 weeks out.
She's failed to notify myself or the other manager of store policy changes or even when she allows someone to go home early or when they call in. We basically end up guessing that the person won't be there. She doesn't let us know when she's leaving for the day, we just eventually end up going to her office to talk to her to find that she's not there. She regularly ignores our texts, she doesn't reply to emails when we ask questions.

Is this normal for a new manager? Or is this something that I should take as a bit of a red flag and start looking for another job maybe?

She's college educated, worked in the industry for a while, has middle management experience and experience at the entry level with this industry as well. So I was a little shocked to find that this was how she was handling the management below her.

Edit: She isn’t new to the company or management. She simply jumped departments. She’s also been the assistant GM at another store before.

And I wasn’t demanding a schedule same day, she was the one who said the schedule would be out by end of day, twice. We didn’t have a schedule for the following week, and I scheduled my appointment on a Thursday for the next Thursday (that we didn’t have a schedule for.)

TL;DR Roommate became progressively more abusive and I asked the landlord to leave my lease and they let me out due to abuse, but they are also evicting him. AITAH?

When we moved in I thought maybe we would end up dating since we had tried and it lasted a month before we realized that living an hour away was making it too difficult and he was having problems with it. So we decided to just be friends for now, and then we became roommates.

During the first few months I decided I couldn’t date him. This was due to an argument that had occurred within the first month of living there. A song had come on about fu ck boys and he commented saying women can listen to that but he can’t be that, and commenting on how he has to pay for all of the abusive men even though he’s no abusive himself. I tried to explain it’s actually just that women just don’t know *who* is safe and have to pretend they all might be until they know. (I also said I do this with any gender not just men.) but because of this our first fight was him attacking me for ‘hating men’. After that I had come out of my room and he screamed at me because he thought I was his cat. I asked him to please not yell at *anyone* because we were both coming out of traumatic places and needed peace.

That’s the first thing that happened.

Other things that happened:
⚪️ Have had to remind him when bills are do and ask multiple times for money he owes on them
⚪️I mowed the yard by myself for the entire spring, summer, fall of last year. He won’t help.
⚪️I pay him to let my dog out when I’m at work. For a while he wasn’t doing it and she got a UTI.
⚪️he let his girlfriend into my bedroom to ‘clean’ and I told them not to do that again and installed a pet cam inside of my room
⚪️If I ask for help dripping faucets so our pipes don’t freeze, as the landlord requests, he freaks out on me
⚪️when he finally did help mow I reminded him we are required to mow around the AC-he freaked out on me, calling me a narcissist even though I had thanked him for his help and was being very nice
⚪️he changes his clothes in front of the bedroom door while it’s open. I don’t mean just a shirt.
⚪️he told me my food should be in a box, not in a cabinet where food goes. Why? Well it was ingredients and I’m not using them quickly so they should go
⚪️he uses up the entire living room. Leaving no space for me
⚪️we were supposed to share a craft room. Instead he took it over and barely does any crafts
⚪️his girlfriend was playing with him in an inappropriate way on the couch
⚪️he comes out of his room naked
⚪️he yells at his cats
⚪️he yells at my dog
⚪️he allows his girlfriend to stay when he’s not home. She has a key. We never discussed this, I’m not okay with it. But he won’t allow me to let a dog walker in to let my dog out of my room to pee
⚪️I had to remind him of bills, at his request, because otherwise he just wouldn’t pay them and the ones coming from my bank would overdraft me
⚪️all of my stuff is inside of my bedroom, I don’t get any other space in the house
⚪️when I told him I didn’t like being sexualized in a conversation we had, after we agreed we wouldn’t date, he got mad and said all of his female friends didn’t have a problem with it. He then stormed through the house in an exaggerated way because I could ‘accuse him of SA’ and everyone would believe me.
⚪️there were so many times where we were talking and if I had any opinion that differed from his he would get mad and shut down, usually not talking to me for days.
⚪️he’s called me stupid
⚪️he told his girlfriend I wouldn’t let maintinance into the house but actually I’m always the one calling them and having them fix things
⚪️he got mad when I wanted to turn the heat on because my elderly cat was in my cold room, but he keeps the heat on and opens all of the windows

This isn’t the whole list. I’m just sick of adding bullet points. I never wanted him to get kicked out. I only wanted out of my lease. My therapist and an advocate both wrote a letter asking for my release due to emotional abuse. There’s a police report about him exposing himself.

I asked to be out of my lease, they agreed, they turned around and gave him a 30 day notice to vacate. He’s blaming me. His girlfriend is also blaming me. They don’t know about why I’m out of my lease, they don’t even know I was released. They only know I’m leaving because I moved my dog and cats to my new place already.

And I had to ask them to stay out of my room because at 1:30am the other day, his girlfriend was peeking into my room. She’s already been told not to go in there, and they know my dog isn’t there. So there’s no legal need to go in my room and in my state roommates aren’t allowed to trespass into the other roommates private room. I didn’t call cops or anything, just reminded them that my dog isn’t there and to please leave my stuff alone.