u/Lans-25

On paper I've achieved a lot since I lost my parents. Things they'd be proud of. I make a tremendous effort every day to get out of bed, and to not let my personal issues spill out into others lives. I try to be friendly to everyone. I try at work. I try to do what everyone says I should. I go outside. I do activities. I try. I try. But after all that, what do I feel? I feel completely empty. Life has become completely meaningless without them. I descended to hell and others can't even see it. I truly believe I'm in hell.

I learned to drive this year, and I'm now looking at buying my first car. I have an interview for a great job next week too. I feel the loss of my parents so much lately with the achievements I'm making. I just need someone to hype me up as I'm sitting here in my room after crying my eyes out lol

I did terribly on my mock tests over the past week, getting around five serious faults per test and a couple of driving faults. This morning I was a nervous wreck, shaking inside when the examiner got in beside me. But I passed with only four driving faults! I think my instructor was being extra harsh with the marking on the mocks, because I didn't even get faults for a couple of things I thought were mistakes. I was making silly mistakes with my instructor that morning too, like drifting slightly into another lane on roundabouts, and undertaking people -- and I didn't do any of that during my test. I barely slept the night before either, and woke up multiple times. Happy doesn't capture how I feel. I was so excited I nearly cried.

I'm a shell of who I used to be. Life just feels like a waiting game now until I can be reunited. That's all.

In order to get proper help I think I need to tell a psychiatrist how bad I felt last year after a traumatic experience. I made an attempt on my life, but didn't phone for help afterward as I thought I would be 'locked up' or sectioned. Then as the months passed, I worried it would go on my permanent record and prevent me from doing things in the future like holding certain jobs, or fostering (not something I have plans for but I'm young and don't know the future).

However, I need help. Can I share this with them, without impacting things such as the above?

Many thanks

I just turned 26. I work a pretty crappy restaurant job because I have a lot going on and need a flexible job. I'm a super awkward person, so others usually assume I'm around 19. I hate when people discover my age because it makes me feel so ashamed. Today a new girl started and I could tell she was younger than me, but I thought maybe 18 or 19. I was super awkward introducing myself and she was awkward too (though in her case that is excusable). I wanted to try and make her feel welcome and comfortable in her new job, so when other staff were chatting away and I saw her by herself I asked if she wanted a glass of water and to help me out with something. She said sure and we stood and polished glasses mostly in silence, and theb had a very brief convo that was honestly super strained and took a lot of effort on my part because I'm terrible at speaking to people. Then another coworker asked her if she could serve some alcohol and she says 'I don't think I can, I'm fourteen'. I instantly felt so humilated. How am I just as bad, or worse at conversation than a fourteen year old?? I just don't know how to improve! I don't know how, because it stems from absolutely hating myself and wanting to be invisible. I try not to go out of my way to talk to people, because I usually speak too quietly and am asked to repeat myself, and I'm useless in group settings. She's literally a child and I can barely speak to her. Can anyone relate or have advice?

Hey,

I'm looking to get a pannier rack for my ghost e teru bike. Does anyone know if I can buy a opeak Explorer 29er 2.0 and will be compatible? Thanks

No traumatic experience in my life is related to loud sounds, but they still distress me and startle me more than others. For example someone dropped a bowl at work today and it was very loud, and it nearly made me cry for some inexplicable reason.

I just need a hug from someone I love, and who loves me. I just need someone I can be honest with, and cry in front of. There's nobody left. I try so hard. I just have so many things to do, I see them all piled up, the emails, the work, so many responsibilities. I can't relate to people my own age, I don't know how to communicate, how to be light hearted or funny anymore. I'm no fun. I'm just so tired and so lonely. I just want to sleep forever. I see people with families everywhere I go and I just don't understand why I had to lose what little I had. I feel so lonely and in so much pain all the time, and I try so hard with people but there's some kind of wall between us. I just don't know what it is but I have no personality anymore, I'm just tired all the time.

Hi,

I had a pretty bad crash on my bike last week and twisted my handlebars totally round and bent the wheel. It's not terrible, but definitely a bit concave now (I've still been using it every day - which may be risky?). I wondered how do you find the right wheel to replace it with? Does it just have to be a 29" mountain bike wheel? Does it matter that I have hydraulic brakes? I live in nowhere-land so there aren't any techs nearby.

Thank you

Hi,

I'm trying to renovate a two-wythe brick cavity one-story building. I am currently investigating the cavity and trying to figure out the construction. By removing a couple of bricks and using a small camera I have found that the cavity wall is constructed in such a way that the internal walls (which are to be moved) aren't just built up to the internal wythe of bricks but continue into the cavity and reach the external wythe. Essentially, they divide the cavity wall up into 'pockets'. I'm now concerned this bridging is going to mess up my insulation strategy (fill cavity eps beads, add external insulation approx 100mm, add internal insulation approx 40mm.

Is this a typical build? I assume done for structural purposes. If I move the internal walls, is it okay that they just run up to the internal wythe? I believed the interal wythe is the structural one, but now I'm questioning. I will consult a structural engineer also, I just want to know if this really throws a spanner in the works.

Thanks

Hi,

I never used to be this way, but over the past few months I have been getting worse and it concerns me. A few examples from a single day:

I am visiting someone and staying in their room, which I have done before, but this time coming back from the kitchen I accidentally open their roomates bedroom door instead and fully step inside before I realise what I've done - she turns around surprised but fortunately was not doing anything private.

I then put the door snib on later in the day after returning to the apartment and accidentally lock her out for five minutes, realising when I hear her scrambling with the keys what I've done.

I'm catching the bus I've caught multiple times before but this time I get on the wrong one and have to step off after asking for my destination and the driver looks at me like I'm stupid and says read what the outside of the bus says. I then get on the right bus but give the wrong destination and have to walk back up the aisle and ask him to extend the ride. He's clearly annoyed but doesn't make me buy a new ticket.

I then decide to cut through a side street to take an alternate route home. I'm wandering around clearly looking lost so someone comes up and says 'just follow that path through there, it's clearly marked', and instead of saying, oh I live around here, or that's not the way I'm headed, or whatever, I just say 'oh really?' and wander off, then realising I didn't even thank them or anything.

I'm usually a good driver too but made multiple SIMPLE mistakes over the past few days to the point I am concerened about my safety as a driver. Fortunately all low speed scenarios, but still very stupid oversights, like not looking both ways at a junction before pulling out, or seriously delayed reaction to someone stepping out into the road. Dangerous, stupid, simple things.

At work someone will tell me to put something on the right and I'll put it on the left, I mean what the hell is that about?

I forget things as I'm told them. I don't process them properly. I'm not sure if I'm just chronically sleep deprived or what, because I do wake up multiple times a night. I don't know. I just feel like my mind is blown apart and I'm struggling with basic common sense and routine and it's making me feel and seem completely idiotic. I am under a lot of stress currently but I also have been for around a year and I'm just getting worse even if the stress hasn't increased.

Wtf is going on and how do I fix this? I feel like I'm blowing up my life.

Hi,

I never used to be this way, but over the past month I have been getting worse and it concerns me. A few examples from a single day:

I am visiting someone and staying in their room, which I have done before, but this time coming back from the kitchen I accidentally open their roomates bedroom door instead and fully step inside before I realise what I've done - she turns around surprised but fortunately was not doing anything private.

I then put the door snib on later in the day after returning to the apartment and accidentally lock her out for five minutes, realising when I hear her scrambling with the keys what I've done.

I'm catching the bus I've caught multiple times before but this time I get on the wrong one and have to step off after asking for my destination and the driver looks at me like I'm stupid and says read what the outside of the bus says. I then get on the right bus but give the wrong destination and have to walk back up the aisle and ask him to extend the ride. He's clearly annoyed but doesn't make me buy a new ticket.

I then decide to cut through a side street to take an alternate route home. I'm wandering around clearly looking lost so someone comes up and says 'just follow that path through there, it's clearly marked', and instead of saying, oh I live around here, or that's not the way I'm headed, or whatever, I just say 'oh really?' and wander off, then realising I didn't even thank them or anything.

I'm usually a good driver too but made multiple SIMPLE mistakes over the past few days to the point I am concerened about my safety as a driver. Fortunately all low speed scenarios, but still very stupid oversights, like not looking both ways at a junction before pulling out, or seriously delayed reaction to someone stepping out into the road. Dangerous, stupid, simple things.

At work someone will tell me to put something on the right and I'll put it on the left, I mean what the hell is that about?

I forget things as I'm told them. I don't process them properly. I'm not sure if I'm just chronically sleep deprived or what, because I do wake up multiple times a night. I don't know. I just feel like my mind is blown apart and I'm struggling with basic common sense and routine and it's making me feel and seem completely idiotic. I am constantly distracted, trying desperately to stop my mind from drifting away. I am under a lot of stress currently but I also have been for around a year and I'm just getting worse even if the stress hasn't increased.

Wtf is going on and how do I fix this? I feel like I'm blowing up my life.