u/Lazy_Hall_8798

Thought I'd share this anecdote from one of my FB friends. Made me chuckle.

Tom got this text today: “you can pick up the other woman in Fallston.” He was a little puzzled since he thought his hands were already full with one woman. Then he realized it was a Louis Lamour book he’d ordered from the library.

74M, widowed 4-1/2 years after 42 years

Had a bit of a restless night last night.

I very recently made the decision to try dating again. It was an impulsive move on my part, not well thought out at all! I didn't really expect to find anyone compatible in my area anyway.

Matched with a woman about 45 miles away, struck up a conversation, and we kind of clicked. We met for coffee, had an enjoyable morning together. We exchanged phone numbers and have been texting and talking daily since.

This happened much quicker than I anticipated, and last night I sent a lot of time pondering where this is heading, hence the restless night.

Sitting in my recliner this morning with soft music playing, guess I dozed off. I was startled awake when I heard my wife's voice say simply, "I love you". Oh, how I miss that!

We had talked about what would happen if one of us died before the other, and I remember her saying, our vows are until death do us part. If you find love again, don't push it away.

Once fully awake, I realized the voice I had heard was just a part of the zen music in the background, not some mystical communication from Beyond, but still, it put my mind at ease.

I think this new friendship has a chance to develop into something deeper, and I intend to pursue it.

I know many of the people here are still deeply grieving, and my heart goes out to you. I've been there. I'm fortunate to have many wonderful memories from a lifetime together with my best friend, so it has been a bit easier to work through my grief.

Just want you to know that there is hope beyond the grief. Hang in there!

74M, widowed 4-1/2 years

So, scanning through older posts, seems like I'm kind of a NKOTB. Been here about two weeks, I've received some good advice, and thanks for that!

My first encounter was a bit of a disappointment; she canceled our first meeting, said she just wasn't ready yet to date.

The second experience had a brief hiccup when she became ill the night before we were to meet. Some of my frustration was expressed here somewhat prematurely, and I apologize for that. We got past that, had a wonderful meeting and have been talking daily since.

I bit of advice I had gotten, not just from this group, is that talking about a previous marriage should be avoided. I agree wholeheartedly, but soon discovered it becomes the "elephant in the room". You try to tiptoe around and pretend it isn't there, but it inhibits any real conversation. My 42 years of marriage made me who I am today. If she asked me a personal question, I had to try to figure out how \*not\* to reference my marriage. It was becoming awkward.

Finally, last night, my new friend just told me, "stop holding back." We both had lives before we met, so we had \*the talk\*. We agreed that neither of us would be offended if previous relationships came up in our conversations. It makes it so much easier to talk now. She called this morning to express how pleased it made her that we could be so frank and open.

\*You know, Louie, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship \*

74M, widowed 4-1/2 years

So, scanning through older posts, seems like I'm kind of a NKOTB. Been here about two weeks, I've received some good advice, and thanks for that!

My first encounter was a bit of a disappointment; she canceled our first meeting, said she just wasn't ready yet to date.

The second experience had a brief hiccup when she became ill the night before we were to meet. Some of my frustration was expressed here somewhat prematurely, and I apologize for that. We got past that, had a wonderful meeting and have been talking daily since.

I bit of advice I had gotten, not just from this group, is that talking about a previous marriage should be avoided. I agree wholeheartedly, but soon discovered it becomes the "elephant in the room". You try to tiptoe around and pretend it isn't there, but it inhibits any real conversation. My 42 years of marriage made me who I am today. If she asked me a personal question, I had to try to figure out how *not* to reference my marriage. It was becoming awkward.

Finally, last night, my new friend just told me, "stop holding back." We both had lives before we met, so we had *the talk*. We agreed that neither of us would be offended if previous relationships came up in our conversations. It makes it so much easier to talk now. She called this morning to express how pleased it made her that we could be so frank and open.

*You know, Louie, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship *

Got a 1997 BMW Z3 Roadster, bright red, about two years ago. There are a lot of swirl marks in the clear coat. Got somebody coming to polish them out. Are any of the diy ceramic coatings any good? I see price ranges from $30 to over $150. I hate to drop the cash for a professional application if its something I can do myself.

TIA

Arghh!! Had a coffee date set up for this morning. She texted me about an hour ago, said her stomach was upset, and could we reschedule. I believe her, probably nerves. I'll check back with her tomorrow to see if she's feeling better.

I completely understand the nervousness. There's no way for her to know from a few texts that I'm not some crazed rapist luring her far from her hometown for nefarious purposes (I'm not, fwiw).

Is this a common problem for you ladies? I'm trying to think of some way to introduce my self in the early stage of texting that can show I'm an honest, genuine human being.

Is it nuts to suggest that it's okay if she brings a trusted friend to the first meeting? I mean, it's just coffee, right?

I haven't dated in 45 years. If I can't figure this out soon, I'm just gonna write it off as a stupid impulse. I was doing fine on my own, just thought some female companionship would be nice.

Edit to add: We've been in touch again. She was (still is) ill. We exchanged phone numbers, texted and talked for a while yesterday. No idea where this is going, but at least its going. Thanks for all the great advice and support.

I'm completely new to this OLD thing, and feeling a bit out of my depth.

I was married to the love of my life for 42 years. She was the first and only woman I was ever intimate with. She died 4-1/2 years ago.

Recently, tired of being on my own all the time, I listed my bio in a dating service. I've had a number of responses, and a couple I've followed up on.

I feel a bit like an awkward teenager anticipating a first date. I'm not a brilliant conversationalist. My wife could strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. I tend to be more quiet and contemplative. Having read some the posts here, it seems that women my age want a man to show interest in their life, but without conspicuously prying. So, what kind of questions are safe to ask?

I haven't gotten that far yet, but first date is likely going to be just meeting for coffee or something like that. How does one greet a lady he's never met? Obviously, the purpose of the meeting is to evaluate potential romantic compatibility, so a handshake seems a bit cool. Is a kiss on the cheek going to be misinterpreted? Is a mild embrace going overboard? Am I just overthinking all of this.

I'll be interested in any thoughts the community have. Don't be too hard on me!