u/Lizz_Master

at a 2g lobes rn, going up to 1g soon been stretching for like a year. i got my ears pierced with piercing guns when i was like 11, 3 separate times even because they kept closing up…i heard that the trauma from that can impact your streching journey. just curious what can change and if theres anything i should keep in mind. so far my ears been fine even tho ive been rushing a bit. no blowouts or anything.

at a 2g lobes rn, going up to 1g soon been stretching for like a year. i got my ears pierced with piercing guns when i was like 11, 3 separate times even because they kept closing up…i heard that the trauma from that can impact your streching journey. just curious what can change and if theres anything i should keep in mind. so far my ears been fine even tho ive been rushing a bit. no blowouts or anything.

well i didnt really come out, my mom approached me asking what name id like to be called because my parents knew i was trans and going by a diffrent name at my school, as theyve heard my friends call me it and etc, but i just never got the guts to actually sit down and talk about it. they are supportive thankfully but not overly, my parents are very practical people so its not like they were crying or anything it was more of a “alright, what now” kinda thing. but i got the process of changing my legal name started too. gonna take a while but excited to get it over with. very nice not to need to have awkward moments with my friends not knowing what to call me and my parents seeing me for who i am. they said theyd talk to the rest of my family about it too so i dont have to carry that burden

pretty much everytime ive tried to party for a good while ive just gotten really sad and have very vivid fantasies about suicidal behaviour and NSSI. once it was bad enough for me to smash a bottle and start cutting myself at a party. or just when i get sad enough and i just start ideating about it. im not a threat to myself or others but im still scared of myself, as ive had cuts that were potentially life threatening before.

i really just want to enjoy myself and have fun with my friends without ruining it for myself and others. im somewhat clean from self-harm currently (almost a month) and would really like to stay that way, but would also like to drink and have fun. i predict alot of comments will be that i need to fix the root cause or stop drinking, but the first one is not happening for a while and the second one would just make me feel a bit left out from my friends and i do quite enjoy drinking when i dont get sad.

generally the fantasies i have also just affect me in my day to day life. its thinking about suicide plans or just seeing a sharp objects i know are good and immediately thinking out places to cut. i really dont want to be thinking that and it gets in my day to day life and id just like to know coping mechanisms untill i get completely clean.