u/Mad-dog107

So rant....

So ive been here and in ossd for sometimes while getting my diagnosis. To clarify im not diagnosed with D.I D/OSDD I just started coming to these spaces because my therapist suspects I have something along the lines of it cause of my symtoms.

So you dint have to read this post and these are just my opinions so I already know this will be taken down and that's fine.

Ive come here to read and post sometimes on bith communities to see if anyone relates to the symtoms and im 30 now and been having these all my life and just now noticing it since 2 years ago almost. But Ive noticed people who comments or post on these communities have such a way with their imagination and im not saying you cant do these things im just saying majority of the people on here I cant relate too, it almost feels like a Role playing game with some of these post or Larping and not D.I.D or OSDD. When I hear alters I feel ashamed because reading these post on here make alters feel like friends or family when to me it feels less than that and more just me spit into different parts and nothing more. When I do see people who make senes to me they get down voted for no reason and that what confuses me...do I have to be so inverted with my own symtoms to get people to see my own struggles or relate to them even. I feel like so different with "this" that it feels like im there odd one out along with people I tend to relate to. The terms and labeling are also out of control in my eyes, its like people make it their whole personality and say things like "singlets" and other terms which I think it very weird to say to someone just because you have these parts of yourself. Im scared of my parts coming out because I want to live a decent and normal life and I praise anyone who doesn't make this their whole personality and take it to very extreme imaginative lengths that they can show themselves and get better. I just dont see whats so special about being stuck in your head at times, that scares me and I cant control it and when I see people who says they love not being here in the actual real world that also scares me because I know its hard to move on from these traumatic memories or even if you cant remember and have no will power on switching which im open about that as well but I also praise the people who keeps living their lives despite it and not this role playing, larping thing that feels so unreal....

Today I felt different not like different person just felt not me today, I feel like I just have this overwhelming out of no where confidence and I felt calm mostly like theres another part of me that also merged with me like the other times, when I thought about talking to myself and asking myself "Is it me or is it something else that feeling this way" I started to feel those weird headache pain in the back of my eye that lasted for a few seconds.

Today I felt different not like different person just felt not me today, I feel like I just have this overwhelming out of no where confidence and I felt calm mostly like theres another part of me that also merged with me like the other times, when I thought about talking to myself and asking myself "Is it me or is it something else that feeling this way" I started to feel those weird headache pain in the back of my eye that lasted for a few seconds.

on my mac using usb with my ipad, i cant use the color wheel for dynamic coloring on clip studio paint using my tourbox elite plus, whenever i use my dail it doesnt move to another color or i cant tap on it either using my apple pen it'll just click off studio paint and back to the home page.

How are your experience with it? Mines is like i feel im 2 or 3 people at once and my brain and eyes feels like its in 3 different places at once or I feel glitchy.

When im blurry I feel like 2 or 3 combined with me and I feel whole, almost alien like but in a good way, like theres no fear at all with the whole thing and it feels nice until it goes back to normal.

How are your experience with it? Mines is like i feel im 2 or 3 people at once and my brain and eyes feels like its in 3 different places at once or I feel glitchy.

When im blurry I feel like 2 or 3 combined with me and I feel whole, almost alien like but in a good way, like theres no fear at all with the whole thing and it feels nice until it goes back to normal.

Still discovering this while thing. So far the therapist thinks I have dissociation mixed with schizophrenia or mixed D.I.D, just waiting on results from someone else to talk to me but its almost have been a year since ive been in there

and got my first Ibanez Gio RG330EX as a beginner, wish me luck in this long long journey. ☆

Id like to make a mawile one so badly.

Idk If this is co-fronting or not but I always feel different when I feel one of them near. I cant get out this hazy feeling along with having to deal with my thoughts and talk patterns blending with theirs I guess. Wonder if anyone else goes through this. Along with this constant noise at times.