u/Maleficent-Cat-220

Today while we were passing the sacrament I was having really bad anxiety and was feeling kind of guilty about some things. I was even contemplating whether I should even take the sacrament or not.

I just... Sat there thinking about it and eventually the spirit whispered to me that it's okay. I'll get it this week. I went ahead and took it and I just sat there meditating in God's love.

I knew a moment later I had to get up there and share about it. My heart was literally beating out of my chest. My friend Trent who is the first counselor wasn't even finished doing his opening testimony but I knew I had to get up there before my courage failed me.

I walked up there and sat down and listened to Trent finish speaking because my friend Trent is a genuinely amazing speaker.

When I got up the first thing I did was tell everyone how much I loved listening to him speak. He really ain't wonderful. He's a school teacher and no wonder. He's actually amazing.

Then I talked about my feeling while receiving the sacrament. That I sat there and meditated on God's love and for a moment I could just feel it....

I told everyone how were all just humans and we don't even have the capacity to understand how infinite Gods love is, and feeling it just for a fraction of a minute and... It was something else entirely.... Impossible to describe almost.

I got down and sat next to my friend the missionaries that were by me on the pew and they both told me how beautiful what I said was.

A few people came up to me afterward and said how touched they were by what I said.

I got home and I didn't even know what to do with myself for a bit. I kept asking myself what even just happened?

I guess I just need to calm down... It was just... really something...

Alright so don't laugh. I just don't have any experience dealing with this so I'm looking for advice here because I want to handle this to the best of my ability.

Long story short my friend I've had for about fifteen years since I was in the Army came out to me and admitted attraction to me. I hate this. I get every girl now who's had a friend admit they were in to them and then are thrown into a difficult spot. Never thought it would happen to me. I am a guy, btw.

My friend is a super great guy. We write letters back and forth. I just type mine but he does his in super awesome calligraphy. I've kept most of them because they're super neat. He's also helped me out of a really tight jam financially a good while back. I was homeless at the time and I was able to buy a buss ticket to a much more favorable city because of his help.

So obviously my friend is someone who deserves to be honored. So my question is how does someone address this is in the most respectful way possible? I'm not trying to do a beat around the bush thing here and just pretend like he didn't say anything. It's even a little bit flattering but then again my ego can be kind of out of control sometimes.

So anyone ever deal with this? What's the best way going forward?

The other day I talked myself out of putting a new mattress from Sam's club on my credit card because I really don't need to be running it up like that but now I'm wondering if that would have actually been a good idea. I've been awake for an hour, since 2:30. It's now 3:30 and I guess I'm just going to have to get up and make the most of it. Being tired is whatever anyway. I can deal with it. C'est la vie.

Oh my gosh. I get why people say this now. I've spend most of this spring and summer cultivating a lawn out in front of my house and I'm currently laying in it and just... Wow. This feels amazing. Absolute 11/10 experience.

I was at HEB here in West Texas and I grabbed a shopping cart from the front there and took it into the store. I looked over the recipe I was shopping for and figured I didn't actually need the cart and went to take it back to put it with the other carts. As soon as I moved the cart across some sort of invisible barrier it locked up on me.

So one of the store managers was right there and explained to me that I locked up the cart because I tried to put the cart back without it going through the check out line first, which I guess is actually a pretty smart theft deterrent mechanism. Cool.

What got me bent out of shape was the manager telling me like this was my fault. Like my trying to return the cart where people could use it and not so it would just be sitting in the store taking up space like the considerate person I make myself out to be was to be blamed for this happening to the cart.

Whatever. She probably didn't even mean it like that. Probably was just trying to explain to me the situation with the carts, which I didn't even know. Ya it would be cool if they put a sign up or something but people like myself probably wouldn't even read it anyway.

I'm just kind of on edge lately because I honest to God have not been okay lately. I'm exercising every day now and even flossing every day but I'm probably depressed or something because most waking moments I just feel bad and isolate. I don't get it because I was quite literally on top of the world a couple weeks back. C'est la vie.

I told the lady I only wanted one burrito and just to make conversation I told her I was cheap. I had to look it up. It's "Soy tocaño". She said something back to me. I heard basically "why are you cheap" but she sounded mad about it. She probably said something else too. I told her I didn't need money now, I need money later but I didn't know how to say that so I basically said I don't need money here, I need money over there. (No necessito denero aqui, necessito denero por ahi.) I think that got the point across though. Also one burrito was $7 so that doesn't feel that cheap anyway.

Can I get a shout out from everyone who's found their lives to be better by letting go of the past??? If that's not you that's cool. Love you anyway.