u/MelancholyAtaraxia

John 9:31. Ive been married for 4 years. For the past 3 years after having a baby, I have been miserable with my husband. We arent intimate. I dont want him to touch me. Its ruining our marriage. Ive been praying that if this marriage is meant to end in divorce, for God to show me the infidelity bc the Bible says thats the only reason to divorce. I didnt know why I was like this until I was recently diagnosed a month ago with Autism, ADHD, and severe Depression through months of tests by my psychiatrist. Weve concluded that, because of my conditions, child birth was traumatizing to me and that the extra mental load of caring for a child has been hard because of these diagnosis. Its ruining my marriage, though. My husband puts in zero effort. Im left feeling like a bad wife for feeling this way. Am I being a bad sinner and this is why God isnt helping? Idk. Its all so much and its so hard.

Context: im a SAHM. Hes military. 35 hours a week with weekends and holidays off. We go to church on Sundays. No family or friends nearby to help bc of his job. I'm also level 1 Autistic with ADHD. Before having a child, I did everything and tbh, it was fine. Cooking, cleaning, working, etc.

Ever since having a child, everything is different. I now have to ask for things to be done multiple times. Or he will say he will do something and then never do it. He has learned initiative on dishes, taking out trash, and laundry bc i just quit doing them. (Part of my ADHD/ Autism. I forget a lot of cleaning after me and him bc cleaning up after and caring for our child comes first.) I ask and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask and then I have a mental breakdown and THEN he does whatever ive been asking for.

Today he had a minor surgery. We took him and picked him up. All three of us went home and napped and when we woke up, we agreed on going to get food together. He was lollygagging and not getting ready and its like he forgot about our plans saying: "I just had surgery." Bro it was minimally invasive and it took 15 minutes under local anesthesia. Anyway, my issue is that he said he was gonna do this with me and then he just-- didn't want to. He does this a lot. The back yard is a huge example. It gets so overgrown even though he says he will do it. I end up doing it from time to time and hes like: "why did u do it? I said i was gonna!" Brother, the grass is 4 feet tall. It wasnt getting done.

So, today, I had another breakdown. I took our kid to go eat and to get lollipops without him after stating: "when I ripped from my v to my a after giving birth, I was up 4 hours later doing everything while u jacked off to my boobs in the hospital bathroom." Ofc that didnt sit well, so we left quick. Came back to him doing the back yard and cleaning the house after saying he: "just had surgery." Idk. Its all very confusing to me. He said he wanted us all to go eat. He didnt get ready. I did. He said he couldn't do much bc of his surgery. I come back and the house is spotless. Its so confusing to me.

Seeking advice. Im in personal therapy for my ADHD and Autism, so therapy suggestions are a moot point.

Tldr; husband says he'll do something, never does. Or will only do it if I have a breakdown.

I picked this book up yesterday because it looked interesting and now im already confused. It goes over the book of Mark. I'm reading the introduction and it says: "There is no resurrection from the dead. The story closes inside and empty tomb, with three women fleeing, out of their minds with fear." So i open my Bible mark, and there certainly is text about the resurrection. I did a bit of research and it says that the verses of 9-20 did not exist in the earliest manuscripts of in Mark chapter 16. (biblegateway dot com) BUT Mark 16:4-8 speaks of a young man who tells the women that he is risen. Im already confused about a new book I just bought. Has anyone read this book? Or does anyone have clarification? Thanks.

I picked this book up yesterday because it looked interesting and now im already confused. It goes over the book of Mark. I'm reading the introduction and it says: "There is no resurrection from the dead. The story closes inside and empty tomb, with three women fleeing, out of their minds with fear." So i open my Bible mark, and there certainly is text about the resurrection. I did a bit of research and it says that the verses of 9-20 did not exist in the earliest manuscripts of in Mark chapter 16. (biblegateway.com) BUT Mark 16:4-8 speaks of a young man who tells the women that he is risen. Im already confused about a new book I just bought. Has anyone read this book? Or does anyone have clarification? Thanks.

Im 34. F. Ive been married to my husband for 4 years. Together for 6. Im diagnosed with level 1 autism and ADHD. Ive always been weird and quirky and my husband knew this marrying me.

Anyway, ever since having a child nearly 3 years ago, things have changed for me. I dont wanna be intimate, I have a hard time keeping up with the house, I have a hard time even touching my husband, and im extremely depressed. Its hurting him and its hurting me. I need more help and he needs more intimacy. He is military so we move a lot and we have zero family near by. These issues coupled with the fact that I can't make friends is harrowing for me. We attend church and I volunteer there, so Sundays are usually nice because our toddler is watched by teachers while i get to listen to the sermon. Otherwise, my hobbies are childish, so finding people who enjoy them with me is insanely difficult.

Sorry for the long rant. Im just scared. Im in therapy with a psychiatrist and ive been in talk therapy for years. Im trying everything to help our marriage but my husband is so sad and im trying to help, but forcing intimacy for me is so hard. I still do it for his sake, but yea.

Tldr my autism is ruining our marriage after having the responsibilities of a child.

I was recently tested by my psychiatrist using the WAIS IV. Working Memory: 134, Visual Spatial: 119, 108 Fluid Reasoning, Processing Speed: 100, Verbal Reasoning: 95. I was also given a diagnosis of level 1 ASD and ADHD. I also have complex PTSD. With this cocktail, had i not been abused and if my ADHD is medicated, I'm curious if my score would be higher or lower. Does anyone that's educated in these topics have info? On a journey of self discovery at the ripe age of 34. Just fun to chat about. Thanks. 😊

Our child is 32 months and has recently (within the past 2-ish months) started waking up in the middle of the night. They've always been a decent sleeper so this is odd. They always wake up and ask for water. So we started leaving a water cup for them. Then it changed into saying theyre hungry, but we dont feed them at 2am. Then they tried the potty method of asking to pee then never actually going. They have always taken their single 2 hour nap. Wake up is around 6-7am. Nap from 12-1pm to 2-3pm. Bedtime routine at 8pm, they fall asleep around 9pm. Weve recently decided to skip naps to see if it would help. It isnt. They still wake up and stay up for about an hour. Has anyone else had this issue? What helps?

So my 2 year old and I are watching Silly Miss Lily this morning because they're not feeling well. We're watching the "Toddler Learning Video - Learn Emotions and Feelings" and in some of this episode, she is wearing a bright pink beanie and I notice on the front it says: "KYS" and i was like HOLD UP. So I go back and freeze the video and in small print underneath it says: "Keep Your Soul". Girl. 😭 Psyop averted oh my gosh. So I texted my husband at work about this and he said: "not so silly miss lily 🫪🔫" and I'm crying from laughter. I just had to share because it was such a wild thing to notice and my husbands response was hilarious. Apparently it's a local band-- I had to do some research. Whew. Lol.

Been together for 5.5 years, married for 4. Sex life was always multiple times a week in the beginning. No issues. Had a kid 2 years into the marriage and my want for sex has significantly decreased. It started, honestly, when i was heavily pregnant. I have a memory of being about 8 months pregnant and trying to serve him. I didnt like it but I did it. Then, 2 days after I gave birth, he asked for pics of my chest and went to jerk off in the hospital bathroom. I could have said no, but I felt bad, so i gave him pics of my chest. I have resentment over that for some reason bc, to me, I was just ripped open and 2 days later he wants to think of that? Anyway, after everything healed, we were back to having fairly regular sex, but not as much as before, but maybe like once a week? But its like we couldn't even hold fucking hands without him getting a boner. Genuinely. I dont unferstand why I can't just have intimacy without sex. Sometimes all I need is a cuddle. Then, after our child turned 1, it got way worse. I forced myself once a month, and now its been spaced to about once every 3 months and I still have to force myself. Some days I genuinely want it, its not a hormone thing-- im still very much horny, but it freaks me out how easily he gets a boner. I just want a hug without feeling bad bc I dont want sex. I need advice, please. Our couples therapist didnt help me at all. She basically told me that if I didnt please him, he'd eventually find it elsewhere. She said: "well, men are just different than women" and while I can agree, it just felt like she was siding with him. Im also totally open to being the one with the issue here. Like I mean im fine with being the bad guy. I just need help bc i feel so disgusted by sex and idk why.

Tldr; husband has high libido and I dont after having a kid and im grossed out by it

Edit: Many are suggesting therapy, but ive been in therapy for 9 years total. Currently in it and no plans to leave. I have a cPTSD diagnosis and i just took an Autism and ADHD evaluation yesterday at my psychiatrists office per her recommendation bc she "suspects neurodivergence". We are also Christian so the notion of an open marriage violates our covenant. My hormones are normal, they've been checked if this info helps 😅