u/MovieTypical2138

It would be so much easier if I could just be okay in my own, but I can't. Ive tried before, I've tried just not caring and being okay being alone but it sucks, it sucks so fucking bad. I'll walk outside and see all these couples going hand in hand and I'll see them everywhere. They'll get coffee they'll go to the gym, they'll just be together and I want that too. I really don't get much attention from anyone and while I can live on my own and get my college work and jobs done and still be healthy and clean, so I guess function normally, I can't say I'm happy. I really can't sya the last time I felt like I mattered or like someone gave a shit about me. I just do the things I need to be sure I don't have another option. I try and do hobbies, but nobody cares about them. I wrote an audio series and my family won't read it, they don't care about my hobbies and they constantly say how I "hate everything" when they won't even give the stuff I like a chance.

Idk I just wish I mattered to someone. I don't have any proof of that and it hurts. I've tried dating before but after awhile of nonstop failure it just beats down on you, and knowing my family doesn't believe in me doesn't help at all. I barley tell anyone anything because if I do they'll start a fight. I don't trust people easily because of how I've been hurt in the past. I rely on myself to get shit done and I don't ask for favors. And I'm just so sick of it all. But I can't do it, I'm just to scared to take a risk, even if I find someone I'm interested in, and no matter how bad I wanna ask them out, I'm not gonna be able to do it because I'm just to scared. I don't wanna be hurt again, but then that leaves regrets with stay with me too.

Idk it would all be so much easier if I just didn't care. If I could just be okay alone, but I just can't and it sucks so bad to be alone everyday, to wake up and go to bed alone day after day, month after month

I'm an animation major in college and I draw alot., I'm also exposed to art of every kind every 4 seconds of my day and I've seen a fair share of things.

To put it simply I have a very different view of art than many people I know. For starters I don't call everything I make "art" mainly I'll say, "I was drawing this picture" "let me show you what I just drew" I never say "look at my new OC" or "look at my art!!" Idk to me it just feels childish and awkward to give such a title to everything that's been made. I guess I think of "art" as high and mighty and random drawings on my iPad don't fit that definition.

I have a fairly unique style that goes against alot of traditional things. I like to draw flat 2d facing characters. I mainly draw dinosaurs and creatures, so everything I make has a sharper more angular approach. I color in muted colors and rarely use saturation or crazy vibrant colors. I tend to stray away from excessive lighting and only use it when I think to benefits the shot, so I use more shadows than I do lighting. all of that tho is very against the grain and people always say the same things like, "you need more of this like everyone else!"

Idk just being in school and art reddit pages I've noticed that people only ever really draw in hyper realism or anime. And those posts with similar styles seem to be the ones that get attention and praise, and when I post my stuff it goes blank. And like I'm not really craving validation from the Internet, and I get the feedback I need from professionals in my life. But it is wierd to notice that trend.

Also what irks me the wrong way is the whole OC thing. Like I get it, I've made original characters too, Ive made stories and films and worlds for my characters to do what they need to do, but I don't call them OCs, I call them characters. Idk sometimes to me it feels like an OC is a wierd projection of what someone wants themselves to be instead of a character who serves a certain purpose. It also feels kinda diminishing to call something an OC. Like to me that terms feels childish and kinda destroys and relevance or importance your character could have.

And currently my friends are all talking about art fight, which I think is a website where you draw other peoples OCs and idk that just doesn't seem fun to me at all.

Honestly I don't really know but some art or at least the way art is on the internet is wierd

I'm just so sick of it, I hate how everyone has to blame the other gender for everything.

I a man but anytime I go on social media I can't make it 5 seconds without one of my friends putting those "this is why men are evil" posts on their stories. And all the comments keep talking about how much better the world would be if all men died and stuff like that. And yeah I know they're are really evil and shitty men, I know that first hand from my grandfather, who was a terrible father and abusive twords my mother and her siblings, I'm not trying to deny that and I agree, but constantly having your gender slammed every 4 seconds weighs down on you. It's part of my identity you know, I am a man, I'm proud of who I am and I'm not gonna change it.

And then barley anyone talks about the opposite. I've met some horrible women in my life to, I know first and from my aunt who is an abusive drug addicted alcoholic who's been black listed from multiple countries. And women who have personality treated me horrible. And yes I used to follow those "supporting men" pages on Instagram where they'd blabble on about nothing really, eventually I realized nothing they were saying made sense and was kinda sexist, so I just left. I also don't go making "here's why all women are evil" posts and I don't put them on my story either.

It's all just so stupid. Can't we just say humans sucks. All people suck. The world sucks. What's the point of all this anyway? Why beat each other down for absolutely no reason?

And I'm 20m right now and I'm worried about the future. I'm terrified of what's gonna happen after I graduate, I'm making in animation, which always has a terrible job market but currently it's even worse. Yes I have backup plans as I'm minoring in package design and I work at school as a graphic designer, so there's options, but jobs in general are a nightmare to find currently.

My parents, mainly my mom, don't seem to realize how hard it is currently. She just expects us to get jobs right out of school, and while I'll probably be able to get A job somewhere, like retail or something, I want an actual career. I don't think it'll ever happen, but I wanna make shit, be know for a show or a comic or whatever, but money comes first so who knows. I mean the chances are next to none to begin with, but it's really discouraging to hear that my parents don't believe in me all the time.

And it's not just jobs, I also don't wanna be alone anymore. I'm 20 and I've never had a relationship. I've never even held hands. I've tried dating, I've genuinely tried, taking things slow, going to a coffee shop and just talking, most of the time it's just regular incompatibility, which nobody can do anything about. But they're have been a few extreme examples that destroyed my confidence. The biggest one is during my first semester ever of college this girl and I started hanging out a lot, we started doing basically everything together, and over time I got feelings. Skipping alot of the story I ended up confessing my feelings twords the end of the semester, after this girl started ignoring me and ditching me for another group of friends. I basically said "I feel a stronger connection between us then just friends, and Im wondering how would you feel about us dating?" She said that she's still with her boyfriend (who she never mentioned/hinted at once in the 6+ months that I new her and saw her daily). I still cringe everytime I think about that, but it's not the rejection that gets me upset, sure that's part of it, but its because I really really liked her and I tried to do everything I could to help her. There was a point she had family issues and I helped her through it, I bought her stuff, idk I just tried to show her that I liked her and appreciated her company, but even after all that, the millisecond someone better came along I was dropped and left behind without another word. After that winter break happened, I never spoke to her again (so I don't really have closure which sucks) but her boyfriend messaged me on Instagram saying I was a slut for asking her out then they were still together, but she now dumped him for some other guy. So that's fun. I was pretty hurt by all of this and I tried to talk to my mom and she basically said "it's your fault she used you like that because you never asked if she was in a relationship". And I never brought it up again, she could've just said "I'm sorry that happened, maybe be more upfront next time about what you're looking for, there's always gonna be some mean people out there". But no it's my fault, I'm the reason for someone else actions. Idk that whole situation really messed me up, and now I have trust issues and abandonment issues and I need really clear communication otherwise my anxiety kicks in and I start feeling out. And yes I and in therpay and will continue to keep going, but it's slow and hard to find a good match of a therapist.

Anyway after that I tried dating again next semester, all I did was embarrass myself and after chasing this girl for like 5 months, I just decided to give up. Clearly nothing was working and people always say "if it's meant to be it'll work out" I don't know how much I believed that, but I just gave up. Last year I didn't talk to a single person I was interested in, I just didn't have the courage and I was too scared of whatever the result was gonna be that I just kept my mouth shut. And yeah there were people I was interested in, but I just couldn't do it. My therapist recommended talking to any girl in public about literally anything, and I tried, I really did, but I just couldn't do it. I was too scared.

Anyway my mom thinks dating is easy and just happens. I've also tried talking to my dad about this and I have him the whole story I said above, but he really didn't have any advice. I mean he was nice about it, but he truly had nothing to say.

And anytime I try and bring this up my mom immediately starts talking about all the things she had to do when my age. And idk if she's trying to relate, but it always feels like she's downplaying my struggles, sometimes I just wanna cut her off an say "you're better than me okay! You're smarter your better you've been through worse! Is that what you want me to say!" Because it really feels like that's what she wants.

Idk it's hard to talk to my parents about fear and worries about life without feeling stupid and like a whiny little baby.

Idk I just don't know what to do anymore

I'm 20m right now and I'm worried about the future. I'm terrified of what's gonna happen after I graduate, I'm making in animation, which always has a terrible job market but currently it's even worse. Yes I have backup plans as I'm minoring in package design and I work at school as a graphic designer, so there's options, but jobs in general are a nightmare to find currently.

My parents, mainly my mom, don't seem to realize how hard it is currently. She just expects us to get jobs right out of school, and while I'll probably be able to get A job somewhere, like retail or something, I want an actual career. I don't think it'll ever happen, but I wanna make shit, be know for a show or a comic or whatever, but money comes first so who knows. I mean the chances are next to none to begin with, but it's really discouraging to hear that my parents don't believe in me all the time.

And it's not just jobs, I also don't wanna be alone anymore. I'm 20 and I've never had a relationship. I've never even held hands. I've tried dating, I've genuinely tried, taking things slow, going to a coffee shop and just talking, most of the time it's just regular incompatibility, which nobody can do anything about. But they're have been a few extreme examples that destroyed my confidence. The biggest one is during my first semester ever of college this girl and I started hanging out a lot, we started doing basically everything together, and over time I got feelings. Skipping alot of the story I ended up confessing my feelings twords the end of the semester, after this girl started ignoring me and ditching me for another group of friends. I basically said "I feel a stronger connection between us then just friends, and Im wondering how would you feel about us dating?" She said that she's still with her boyfriend (who she never mentioned/hinted at once in the 6+ months that I new her and saw her daily). I still cringe everytime I think about that, but it's not the rejection that gets me upset, sure that's part of it, but its because I really really liked her and I tried to do everything I could to help her. There was a point she had family issues and I helped her through it, I bought her stuff, idk I just tried to show her that I liked her and appreciated her company, but even after all that, the millisecond someone better came along I was dropped and left behind without another word. After that winter break happened, I never spoke to her again (so I don't really have closure which sucks) but her boyfriend messaged me on Instagram saying I was a slut for asking her out then they were still together, but she now dumped him for some other guy. So that's fun. I was pretty hurt by all of this and I tried to talk to my mom and she basically said "it's your fault she used you like that because you never asked if she was in a relationship". And I never brought it up again, she could've just said "I'm sorry that happened, maybe be more upfront next time about what you're looking for, there's always gonna be some mean people out there". But no it's my fault, I'm the reason for someone else actions. Idk that whole situation really messed me up, and now I have trust issues and abandonment issues and I need really clear communication otherwise my anxiety kicks in and I start feeling out. And yes I and in therpay and will continue to keep going, but it's slow and hard to find a good match of a therapist.

Anyway after that I tried dating again next semester, all I did was embarrass myself and after chasing this girl for like 5 months, I just decided to give up. Clearly nothing was working and people always say "if it's meant to be it'll work out" I don't know how much I believed that, but I just gave up. Last year I didn't talk to a single person I was interested in, I just didn't have the courage and I was too scared of whatever the result was gonna be that I just kept my mouth shut. And yeah there were people I was interested in, but I just couldn't do it. My therapist recommended talking to any girl in public about literally anything, and I tried, I really did, but I just couldn't do it. I was too scared.

Anyway my mom thinks dating is easy and just happens. I've also tried talking to my dad about this and I have him the whole story I said above, but he really didn't have any advice. I mean he was nice about it, but he truly had nothing to say.

So yeah it's hard to talk to my parents about fear and worries about life without feeling stupid and like a whiny little baby.

Idk I just don't know what to do anymore

I'm 20m and I just finished my second year of college. I really don't wanna sound like a "woe is me" redpilled incel, but dating is hard. I've tried in the past and nothing worked out, really to nobody's fault, kinda just not a good match y'know. But what gets me is that I have zero evidence that people actually like me as a person and would want a relationship with me. I have friends and I've talked to a few of them about this and they'll all day the cliche "you'd make a great boyfriend, anyone would be lucky to have you", but I get the feeling they just say that because what else are you supposed to say? My one friend claims were super close, but she doesn't really step up for me, like I'll do a lot for her and hang out on her time and stuff, but when I ask shes always too busy or reschedules last second. So even with friends I feel unwanted, or at least not worth the maximum effort.

Idk it's reached a pattern where I'm just done. Every time I reach out and try to connect or date, I get hurt or embarrassed. This last full year I didnt ask out a single person, I deleted all the dating apps I had and I just did nothing. I thought it would make me feel better, like I didn't need connection in my life, but it didn't. Everyday I was just reminded of how lonely I am, and nothing changed. I've been to therapy for 2 years about this and I've made basically no progress.

I mean yeah anxiety and trust issues are definitely a part of this, but the only real common denominator is me. And I've tried to act differently or change how I think but that doesn't work either. I've basically tried everything, even the "do things for yourself and you'll attract people" and none of it works. I just feel so unwanted and ugly, any version of me feels that way.

And as much as I want to get married and be a father some day, when I genuinely try and imagine myself in a relationship with someone who cares about me and wants me to be around, it all feels so alien, like I physically look out of place when I imagine it.

All of this has of course recked my confidence and there have been some pretty crushing past issues revolving dating that have caused me to have abandonment and trust issues. But it's still the fact that I can't think of a single positive slightly romantic experience I've had ever. I can't think of a single time someone thought I was attractive or was even curious about me. And that just makes me feel even worse.

I guess I just wish I knew how to give up. I wish I could come to terms with being alone and just take it for what it is and just move on with my life. But I can't. I'll see couples everywhere and I get so jealous and upset and I just wish so and that would be me. I wish I could see a happy couple, not think anything of it and just move on.

Idk I really can't imagine myself in a relationship, but I can't stop wishing I had one I guess

I'm 20 right now and any time I remember something I did in the past I physically cringe. Mainly from failed dating attempts and saying really dumb shit, but it's got me thinking that in hindsight, I must be a nightmare to be around. Like some of the shit I say is so dark cringy and makes no sense, and I'm just trying to be funny and stuff. But idk man it must be so embarrassing to have me around. And then there's when I tried dating for a little bit, I'm not smooth at all, I can't use good word play or smooth talk or anything, I normally just try to be upfront and honest about relationship and dating stuff. But when I remember the dates I've been on, it's just so bad. Like it's just so cringy and embarrassing and I physically got my teeth and think "why would I ever do that", and like now there's people who walk around and probably think about how dumb and stupid I sound and act. even thinking back to highschool, I was such a looser and I'm kinda impressed and surprised people talked to me. Idk maybe I'm just easily embarrassed, but even when I try and act different and watch what I say and stuff, I wonder at what point do I just loose all personality and become a basic dude who doesn't do anything special. Like is it worth the cringe to be your own person and have some originallity, or is it better to be seen by others as normal and not embarrassing. Idk

I just feel like nothing I do has any meaning to it. I'm 20m and I just feel bad. I'm so lonely and I really want a relationship, but absolutely nothing I've done in the past 2 years has worked.

When I first got to college I started hanging out a lot with this girl, but to make a long story short, in the end she was using me as a placeholder while she worked through her issues with her boyfriend (that she never told me about) and when they broke up, she dropped me for a better guy. That absolutely destroyed my trust in people because I did everything I could to help her and make her happy and she just leaves without a goodbye like nothing I did mattered. Then to make it worse her ex messaged me on Instagram calling me a whore basically for talking to her while they were still together (even though I didn't know he existed and we never even did as much as hold hands), then my I tell my mom the whole story and she says it's all my fault I got used and mistreated because I didn't ask upfront if she was in a relationship. So yeah greta start. Then for the rest of that year I tried actually dating, using apps, asking people out and being clear about dating. But none of it worked. The apps are an absolute joke, and I never got as far as a second date. And I was lucky if I got one, but I'd either get stood up, ignored, or I could tell the other person didn't actually wanna be there and just didn't know how to say no, so if just give up after the date ended.

I tried doing what people recommended, I go to the gym alot, I have hobbies, Im clubs, I do things in public like write or draw, I have hobbies, I'm employed, I have 3 jobs while being a student and an RA. None of that worked. Barley makes me feel better anyway.

I just feel so lost. I feel so stuck because no matter what I try nothing works. I wouldn't call myself attractive but I'm not a hideous troll. I am tall but that only gets other dudes mad at me online because when they post about being short and having no luck, and I say "I'm tall and still have no luck, it really doesn't make a difference" they start going like "well you're the only exception" "you must be hideous then" "you must be autistic" and other nasty things. I just feel like no matter how hard I try or what I do, absolutely nothing matters.

I've been to therapy for the past 2 years and it's not that helpful either. People always say finding a good therapist is like dating, which is horrendous because I can't date and I can't find a good therapist so I'm stuck in this loop.

I just want someone who cares about me. I also really wanna start the relationship stage of life, I wanna have meaningful 1-1 connections with another person. I want to put the time and effort into a relationship.

Idk man it sucks and I dont know what to do

I just feel like nothing I do has any meaning to it. I'm 20m and I just feel bad. I'm so lonely and I really want a relationship, but absolutely nothing I've done in the past 2 years has worked.

When I first got to college I started hanging out a lot with this girl, but to make a long story short, in the end she was using me as a placeholder while she worked through her issues with her boyfriend (that she never told me about) and when they broke up, she dropped me for a better guy. That absolutely destroyed my trust in people because I did everything I could to help her and make her happy and she just leaves without a goodbye like nothing I did mattered. Then to make it worse her ex messaged me on Instagram calling me a whore basically for talking to her while they were still together (even though I didn't know he existed and we never even did as much as hold hands), then my I tell my mom the whole story and she says it's all my fault I got used and mistreated because I didn't ask upfront if she was in a relationship. So yeah greta start. Then for the rest of that year I tried actually dating, using apps, asking people out and being clear about dating. But none of it worked. The apps are an absolute joke, and I never got as far as a second date. And I was lucky if I got one, but I'd either get stood up, ignored, or I could tell the other person didn't actually wanna be there and just didn't know how to say no, so if just give up after the date ended.

I tried doing what people recommended, I go to the gym alot, I have hobbies, Im clubs, I do things in public like write or draw, I have hobbies, I'm employed, I have 3 jobs while being a student and an RA. None of that worked. Barley makes me feel better anyway.

I just feel so lost. I feel so stuck because no matter what I try nothing works. I wouldn't call myself attractive but I'm not a hideous troll. I am tall but that only gets other dudes mad at me online because when they post about being short and having no luck, and I say "I'm tall and still have no luck, it really doesn't make a difference" they start going like "well you're the only exception" "you must be hideous then" "you must be autistic" and other nasty things. I just feel like no matter how hard I try or what I do, absolutely nothing matters.

I've been to therapy for the past 2 years and it's not that helpful either. People always say finding a good therapist is like dating, which is horrendous because I can't date and I can't find a good therapist so I'm stuck in this loop.

I just want someone who cares about me. I also really wanna start the relationship stage of life, I wanna have meaningful 1-1 connections with another person. I want to put the time and effort into a relationship.

Idk man it sucks and I dont know what to do

I just feel like nothing I do has any meaning to it. I'm 20m and I just feel bad. I'm so lonely and I really want a relationship, but absolutely nothing I've done in the past 2 years has worked.

When I first got to college I started hanging out a lot with this girl, but to make a long story short, in the end she was using me as a placeholder while she worked through her issues with her boyfriend (that she never told me about) and when they broke up, she dropped me for a better guy. That absolutely destroyed my trust in people because I did everything I could to help her and make her happy and she just leaves without a goodbye like nothing I did mattered. Then to make it worse her ex messaged me on Instagram calling me a whore basically for talking to her while they were still together (even though I didn't know he existed and we never even did as much as hold hands), then my I tell my mom the whole story and she says it's all my fault I got used and mistreated because I didn't ask upfront if she was in a relationship. So yeah greta start. Then for the rest of that year I tried actually dating, using apps, asking people out and being clear about dating. But none of it worked. The apps are an absolute joke, and I never got as far as a second date. And I was lucky if I got one, but I'd either get stood up, ignored, or I could tell the other person didn't actually wanna be there and just didn't know how to say no, so if just give up after the date ended.

I tried doing what people recommended, I go to the gym alot, I have hobbies, Im clubs, I do things in public like write or draw, I have hobbies, I'm employed, I have 3 jobs while being a student and an RA. None of that worked. Barley makes me feel better anyway.

I just feel so lost. I feel so stuck because no matter what I try nothing works. I wouldn't call myself attractive but I'm not a hideous troll. I am tall but that only gets other dudes mad at me online because when they post about being short and having no luck, and I say "I'm tall and still have no luck, it really doesn't make a difference" they start going like "well you're the only exception" "you must be hideous then" "you must be autistic" and other nasty things. I just feel like no matter how hard I try or what I do, absolutely nothing matters.

I've been to therapy for the past 2 years and it's not that helpful either. People always say finding a good therapist is like dating, which is horrendous because I can't date and I can't find a good therapist so I'm stuck in this loop.

I just want someone who cares about me. I also really wanna start the relationship stage of life, I wanna have meaningful 1-1 connections with another person. I want to put the time and effort into a relationship.

Idk man it sucks and I dont know what to do

I'm 20m in college right now, I've just finished all my assignments so that always gets me in a wierd feeling about how fast time is moving and how I'm scared I'm not gonna catch up. But I've also just realized how truly alone I am.

I've struggled with loneliness for ages, when I first got to college I fell hard for this girl and I thought she felt the same, but she was just using me as a placeholder and dropped me the millisecond someone better came along. After that other girls just stood me up, laughed in my face, or less me on for no reason. All that destroyed my confidence and I haven't gone out to date in over a year. Idk I'm just too scared to get hurt again and I can't really trust people anymore.

But anyway loneliness is hitting hard. I keep seeing all these people walking together with partners or best friends, and while I do have a group of friends, I'm nobody's #1. I'm just an accessory, y'know not fundamental but it's neat if I'm around. I feel so secondary.

It's also the fact that nobody thinks to check on me, nobody does anything nice for me, and it seems like they only care about me when I directly benefit them. I could probably transfer schools without a word and people would stop caring or wondering where I went before the weeks over.

Idk man. My family skimps out on me all the time too. My parents flake out on my birthday because more important things keep popping up, it just becomes and opportunity for my sisters to get what they want. My sisters will make fun of me constantly and say my interests are childish and immature. Strangers say the same to me, they think my major (animation) is a joke. They all think my ideas are stupid, I feel stupid because nobody will take me seriously. I feel like a clown, dancing around and tripping over my tongue all the time.

And what really sucks is that I'm just expected to be okay all the time. Like I can't have emotions or fall apart, everyone just assumes I'm fine and that I'll still be standing no matter what happens. And they're not wrong, I'm not gonna fall, but it gets so hard trying every single day to support myself all on my own. I don't ask for help for a single thing because I'm worried people will think I'm too much a burden then, I hate asking for rides or asking to lay someone back later. I try and do everything I can on my own because of scared of what will happen. When I'm alone I'm sad and upset, but at least nobody is yelling at me.

I just feel like nothing I do matters. I'll put so much effort into something for nobody to care. And if nobody cares, does it really have meaning? I do a lot, I have 4 jobs I take between 15 or 18 credits, my major needs alot out out of school time to get everything done, and I do personal projects for myself. Yet nobody gives a shit. They just go "yeah that's cool" and move on. While other people get all this praise all the time just for existing

I have to fight so hard to prove my worth, hell just to prove I exist, and seeing people get that attention without even trying kills me every time. What am I doing wrong? Why am I never enough? Will anybody care about me?

Idk man, I'm just sad

Nothing I do matters. People only ever have negative things to say to me. I just wish everything would stop and I could just lay in bed forever. I just finished my second year of college and I feel nothing, I worked my ass off for both nothing, got home and my parents immediately started yelling at me for not doing anything.

Nobody cares about me. I'm just expected to be okay but when I'm not I'm doing it for attention or overreacting or they just ignore me because they don't care. I can't do anything without being criticized. I have a cylindrical body pillow and my mom kept making wierd comments about it. I can't even own a pillow without getting criticized. And then everyone wonders why I have no confidence, maybe it's because every single things I do is not open to shreds, shot down, or made fun of before I even finish my sentence.

Nothing I make is good enough, and everyone makes things legions better than mine without even trying.

I'm just so done. I don't have the fight in me anymore. I'm not happy but I can't do anything to change it because nothing I try works and nothing I do matters.

I just wish someone gave a shit about me. But I'm so hopeless at this point

I'm 20 right now and I just finished my second year of college. I've tried dating, I've really really tried. My first year I was fairly social and talk to a lot of new people, I made lasting friendships I still have but I haven't been successful dating. A few times it was simple incompatibility which nobody can do anything about, but other times I got horribly mistreated by people and after that happened too many times in a row, my trust is now broken and approaching new people of the scariest thing in the world for me.

This year I didn't ask out a single soul, yeah there were a few people I wanted to ask out, but I just remembered back to the first year and decided the risk wasn't worth feeling as hurt as I did before. Plus and the answer would already be no, and I only have had evidence to support that so why would it be different now?

Idk man just the whole idea of dating, or at least me dating feels so alien. It also feels impossible, like you first need to find someone who you think is attractive and has characteristics and a personality you like and meshes well with yours, then you need to make sure they're single and that they are actively looking for the same type of reltas you, then you need to make sure your actually compatible as people and for real and not just theoretically, then you need to make sure you both want to move at the same pace and commit to a full relationship, and then you need to make sure your life values align, if your jobs/careers will allow you both to be together for the time you need to maintain a relationship.

I can't even get past step one, and even if I had I couldn't get a second date ever.

It just feels so impossible. Some people I know instantly got relationships the second they got to college and are still together 2 years later, theve already moved in together, adopted pets, and are probably gonna get married the second they can.

I'm genuinely surprised at how they did that, it genuinely blows my mind how stuff like that happens on a regular basis. Like you know how no matter where you go you kinda always see the same people, well there's like 3 different couples I see all the time who have just been together sense day 1 and I truly have no idea why.

Or I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I know I'm not physically attractive, I'm not disgusting, but I have a baby face and I'm tall so my proportions look odd, but I'm hygienic and I'm active, not athletenlevel, but I'm healthy. I definitely have a personality, I'm not a mindless drone, but wether people like it is another question. I'm pretty quiet and I'll keep to myself in public, but I do things, I'll withwr draw or write, I try and do creative projects to stay active outside of my major.

Idk man, I think about this often and the idea of someone actively choosing me and wanting to do relationship-y things with me just feels so alien, like I'll imagine the scene of being on a dinner date or whatever and I feel so out of place, it looks wrong, it feels wrong, and I wish it didn't but it does.

Somtimes I'll look at myself in the mirror and wish I didn't because I look really bad sometimes, and aeemily no matter what I do is good enough. My hair is a big issue, I was it every other day but it grows pretty fast and doesn't get long it just gets fuller and puffy, and then parts stick up randomly and combing doesn't work or anything. When I first got to college I bleached the top of my hair, I liked the way it looked but it definitely took some getting used to. But apparently eveyone on my family hated it, my mom and sisters and dad and aunt all said they didn't like it once it was all cut off. Idk I just never think I look good, I hate my baby face and my double chin and I wish I looked sharper but I don't.

Idk I've kinda lost the plot but I guess dating just feels so impossible and all I have is stories and evidence of getting laughed at to my face and emotionally manipulated to back it up. I've been to therapy for the past 2 years and it really hasn't been helpful, I'ma still gonna keep going but everyone says finding a good therapist is like dating so then I'm stuck in the loop ironically.

Yeah idk I'm bummed, I never feel good enough and people only ever point out the negatives with me.

I'm 20 right now and I just finished my second year of college. I've tried dating, I've really really tried. My first year I was fairly social and talk to a lot of new people, I made lasting friendships I still have but I haven't been successful dating. A few times it was simple incompatibility which nobody can do anything about, but other times I got horribly mistreated by people and after that happened too many times in a row, my trust is now broken and approaching new people of the scariest thing in the world for me.

This year I didn't ask out a single soul, yeah there were a few people I wanted to ask out, but I just remembered back to the first year and decided the risk wasn't worth feeling as hurt as I did before. Plus and the answer would already be no, and I only have had evidence to support that so why would it be different now?

Idk man just the whole idea of dating, or at least me dating feels so alien. It also feels impossible, like you first need to find someone who you think is attractive and has characteristics and a personality you like and meshes well with yours, then you need to make sure they're single and that they are actively looking for the same type of reltas you, then you need to make sure your actually compatible as people and for real and not just theoretically, then you need to make sure you both want to move at the same pace and commit to a full relationship, and then you need to make sure your life values align, if your jobs/careers will allow you both to be together for the time you need to maintain a relationship.

I can't even get past step one, and even if I had I couldn't get a second date ever.

It just feels so impossible. Some people I know instantly got relationships the second they got to college and are still together 2 years later, theve already moved in together, adopted pets, and are probably gonna get married the second they can.

I'm genuinely surprised at how they did that, it genuinely blows my mind how stuff like that happens on a regular basis. Like you know how no matter where you go you kinda always see the same people, well there's like 3 different couples I see all the time who have just been together sense day 1 and I truly have no idea why.

Or I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I know I'm not physically attractive, I'm not disgusting, but I have a baby face and I'm tall so my proportions look odd, but I'm hygienic and I'm active, not athletenlevel, but I'm healthy. I definitely have a personality, I'm not a mindless drone, but wether people like it is another question. I'm pretty quiet and I'll keep to myself in public, but I do things, I'll withwr draw or write, I try and do creative projects to stay active outside of my major.

Idk man, I think about this often and the idea of someone actively choosing me and wanting to do relationship-y things with me just feels so alien, like I'll imagine the scene of being on a dinner date or whatever and I feel so out of place, it looks wrong, it feels wrong, and I wish it didn't but it does.

Somtimes I'll look at myself in the mirror and wish I didn't because I look really bad sometimes, and aeemily no matter what I do is good enough. My hair is a big issue, I was it every other day but it grows pretty fast and doesn't get long it just gets fuller and puffy, and then parts stick up randomly and combing doesn't work or anything. When I first got to college I bleached the top of my hair, I liked the way it looked but it definitely took some getting used to. But apparently eveyone on my family hated it, my mom and sisters and dad and aunt all said they didn't like it once it was all cut off. Idk I just never think I look good, I hate my baby face and my double chin and I wish I looked sharper but I don't.

Idk I've kinda lost the plot but I guess dating just feels so impossible and all I have is stories and evidence of getting laughed at to my face and emotionally manipulated to back it up. I've been to therapy for the past 2 years and it really hasn't been helpful, I'ma still gonna keep going but everyone says finding a good therapist is like dating so then I'm stuck in the loop ironically.

Yeah idk I'm bummed, I never feel good enough and people only ever point out the negatives with me.

I'm 20 right now and I just finished my second year of college. I've tried dating, I've really really tried. My first year I was fairly social and talk to a lot of new people, I made lasting friendships I still have but I haven't been successful dating. A few times it was simple incompatibility which nobody can do anything about, but other times I got horribly mistreated by people and after that happened too many times in a row, my trust is now broken and approaching new people of the scariest thing in the world for me.

This year I didn't ask out a single soul, yeah there were a few people I wanted to ask out, but I just remembered back to the first year and decided the risk wasn't worth feeling as hurt as I did before. Plus and the answer would already be no, and I only have had evidence to support that so why would it be different now?

Idk man just the whole idea of dating, or at least me dating feels so alien. It also feels impossible, like you first need to find someone who you think is attractive and has characteristics and a personality you like and meshes well with yours, then you need to make sure they're single and that they are actively looking for the same type of reltas you, then you need to make sure your actually compatible as people and for real and not just theoretically, then you need to make sure you both want to move at the same pace and commit to a full relationship, and then you need to make sure your life values align, if your jobs/careers will allow you both to be together for the time you need to maintain a relationship.

I can't even get past step one, and even if I had I couldn't get a second date ever.

It just feels so impossible. Some people I know instantly got relationships the second they got to college and are still together 2 years later, theve already moved in together, adopted pets, and are probably gonna get married the second they can.

I'm genuinely surprised at how they did that, it genuinely blows my mind how stuff like that happens on a regular basis. Like you know how no matter where you go you kinda always see the same people, well there's like 3 different couples I see all the time who have just been together sense day 1 and I truly have no idea why.

Or I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I know I'm not physically attractive, I'm not disgusting, but I have a baby face and I'm tall so my proportions look odd, but I'm hygienic and I'm active, not athletenlevel, but I'm healthy. I definitely have a personality, I'm not a mindless drone, but wether people like it is another question. I'm pretty quiet and I'll keep to myself in public, but I do things, I'll withwr draw or write, I try and do creative projects to stay active outside of my major.

Idk man, I think about this often and the idea of someone actively choosing me and wanting to do relationship-y things with me just feels so alien, like I'll imagine the scene of being on a dinner date or whatever and I feel so out of place, it looks wrong, it feels wrong, and I wish it didn't but it does.

Somtimes I'll look at myself in the mirror and wish I didn't because I look really bad sometimes, and aeemily no matter what I do is good enough. My hair is a big issue, I was it every other day but it grows pretty fast and doesn't get long it just gets fuller and puffy, and then parts stick up randomly and combing doesn't work or anything. When I first got to college I bleached the top of my hair, I liked the way it looked but it definitely took some getting used to. But apparently eveyone on my family hated it, my mom and sisters and dad and aunt all said they didn't like it once it was all cut off. Idk I just never think I look good, I hate my baby face and my double chin and I wish I looked sharper but I don't.

Idk I've kinda lost the plot but I guess dating just feels so impossible and all I have is stories and evidence of getting laughed at to my face and emotionally manipulated to back it up. I've been to therapy for the past 2 years and it really hasn't been helpful, I'ma still gonna keep going but everyone says finding a good therapist is like dating so then I'm stuck in the loop ironically.

Yeah idk I'm bummed, I never feel good enough and people only ever point out the negatives with me.

I'm 20 right now and I just finished my second year of college. I've tried dating, I've really really tried. My first year I was fairly social and talk to a lot of new people, I made lasting friendships I still have but I haven't been successful dating. A few times it was simple incompatibility which nobody can do anything about, but other times I got horribly mistreated by people and after that happened too many times in a row, my trust is now broken and approaching new people of the scariest thing in the world for me.

This year I didn't ask out a single soul, yeah there were a few people I wanted to ask out, but I just remembered back to the first year and decided the risk wasn't worth feeling as hurt as I did before. Plus and the answer would already be no, and I only have had evidence to support that so why would it be different now?

Idk man just the whole idea of dating, or at least me dating feels so alien. It also feels impossible, like you first need to find someone who you think is attractive and has characteristics and a personality you like and meshes well with yours, then you need to make sure they're single and that they are actively looking for the same type of reltas you, then you need to make sure your actually compatible as people and for real and not just theoretically, then you need to make sure you both want to move at the same pace and commit to a full relationship, and then you need to make sure your life values align, if your jobs/careers will allow you both to be together for the time you need to maintain a relationship.

I can't even get past step one, and even if I had I couldn't get a second date ever.

It just feels so impossible. Some people I know instantly got relationships the second they got to college and are still together 2 years later, theve already moved in together, adopted pets, and are probably gonna get married the second they can.

I'm genuinely surprised at how they did that, it genuinely blows my mind how stuff like that happens on a regular basis. Like you know how no matter where you go you kinda always see the same people, well there's like 3 different couples I see all the time who have just been together sense day 1 and I truly have no idea why.

Or I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I know I'm not physically attractive, I'm not disgusting, but I have a baby face and I'm tall so my proportions look odd, but I'm hygienic and I'm active, not athletenlevel, but I'm healthy. I definitely have a personality, I'm not a mindless drone, but wether people like it is another question. I'm pretty quiet and I'll keep to myself in public, but I do things, I'll withwr draw or write, I try and do creative projects to stay active outside of my major.

Idk man, I think about this often and the idea of someone actively choosing me and wanting to do relationship-y things with me just feels so alien, like I'll imagine the scene of being on a dinner date or whatever and I feel so out of place, it looks wrong, it feels wrong, and I wish it didn't but it does.

Somtimes I'll look at myself in the mirror and wish I didn't because I look really bad sometimes, and aeemily no matter what I do is good enough. My hair is a big issue, I was it every other day but it grows pretty fast and doesn't get long it just gets fuller and puffy, and then parts stick up randomly and combing doesn't work or anything. When I first got to college I bleached the top of my hair, I liked the way it looked but it definitely took some getting used to. But apparently eveyone on my family hated it, my mom and sisters and dad and aunt all said they didn't like it once it was all cut off. Idk I just never think I look good, I hate my baby face and my double chin and I wish I looked sharper but I don't.

Idk I've kinda lost the plot but I guess dating just feels so impossible and all I have is stories and evidence of getting laughed at to my face and emotionally manipulated to back it up. I've been to therapy for the past 2 years and it really hasn't been helpful, I'ma still gonna keep going but everyone says finding a good therapist is like dating so then I'm stuck in the loop ironically.

Yeah idk I'm bummed, I never feel good enough and people only ever point out the negatives with me.