u/Mundane-Waltz8844

I really want to be better at making friends and just be less socially awkward in general. I started looking into social skills groups, and I was able to find one in my state that isn’t geared toward any specific diagnosis and is just open to anyone looking to improve social skills. I’m still on the fence about if it’s something I actually want to go through with, though. Has anyone done anything similar? What was your experience like? Was it helpful?

I found this wonderful vintage shop a few months back, and I was hoping to head down there tomorrow for a last minute gift. When I tried to look up the store hours, though, it said that they’re permanently closed. Are they actually? I feel like they just opened!

Also, if they are and you have recs for where to go for a last minute gift, lmk.

Decided to lowkey test my limits tonight. This is the most shitfaced I’ve been in a hot minute, and it feels good.

Even as a kid, I was never that interested in arts and crafts. I was never good at making things with my hands. I struggled to do basic things like tie knots, use scissors, hold a paintbrush, etc. so doing anything artsy or crafty was just frustrating for me. I remember in art class I would always be like a project or two behind everyone, so I naturally hated art class. Now I’m thinking this is probably related to my NVLD.

I’m not very into group outings/events/hangouts. When I hang out with friends, I strongly prefer just hanging out one on one. When a friend invites me somewhere only to later tell me that they’re invited other people and it’s actually gonna be a group thing, I always get anxious and disappointed, often to the point of no longer wanting to go. However, I feel like if I communicate with my friends that I really prefer to hang out one on one, I’ll just come off as crazy or possessive or something. The issue, though, isn’t that I mind my friends hanging out with other people. I just don’t necessarily want to also hang out with those people. I also just get really anxious and feel awkward navigating a social situation where there are multiple people, especially if they’re people I don’t know. Also, I can do small talk if needed, but I like to feel open to talk about whatever. When I hang out with friends, I don’t want to feel like I have to censor or monitor what I say. I want to be able to actually catch up and spend quality time with a person instead of just navigating some weird situation where I don’t know what to say or how to act and I’m just focused all night on not seeming too weird.

I had palilalia as a child. It’s often a sign of autism, but not always. I am not autistic, but I do have NVLD, and I am curious if there is a possible connection between NVLD and palilalia, and, as a result, I am wondering if there are other folks in this subreddit who have or had palilalia.

I went up from 10mg to 20mg. My blood pressure, which is fine when off the med, was high (I bought a monitor). Should I give it some time and see if my body adjusts or is this something that doesn’t get better?

Basically, I started seeing my current psychiatrist fairly recently. When I met with her, she told me that my symptoms sounded like ADHD. I informed her that I received a psycho educational evaluation as a teenager, but she believed that my ADHD was simply missed by the testing clinician, and, as a result, referred me for a neuropsychological evaluation. The clinical psychologist I was referred to told me a neuropsych eval would be a lot of work for him (yes, those are the words he used, I am not paraphrasing) and that a psych eval would reveal all the same information and that it would save us both time and also save me money, since I would not be able to find anyone who would do a neuropsych eval and take insurance. As a result, I said fine, and I went through with the psych eval. It was more or less a truncated version of what I did when I was 17, so, the results were nearly identical aside from some improvement in processing speed since then.

Even after the test, my psychiatrist still felt confident in her prognosis, and prescribed me 10mg of Vyvanse. I took it for about a month. Initially, I did notice some weird side effects, namely sleepiness. It basically just made me the calmest I’ve ever felt, and, as a result, it made me just wanna take a nap every day. I got over that hurdle and found that I didn’t feel the urge to sleep if I kept myself occupied. The medication made me a bit more focused, and, while I still found myself procrastinating, normal tasks like doing dishes or sending an email just felt annoying rather than so paralyzing I can’t even bring myself to start, and that was huge for me. I also found that it reduced my anxiety, fidgeting, and skin picking. Overall, I considered it a win and was happy with the med.

Then, I got really low on the medication. I tried to reach my psychiatrist’s office to schedule another appointment, but that took some time. I also couldn’t get an appointment right away, because our schedules were not compatible (I primarily work afternoons and evenings, and she primarily had afternoon availability). Eventually, I got in to see her, and she upped my dose to 20mg per my request. I had two 10mg pills left that I had saved for a rainy day, but I had gone off the medication for a few weeks and just started again with the medication yesterday. I took the last of the 10mg pills today, so, if I were to take my Vyvanse tomorrow, I would be taking a 20mg dose for the first time.

In this time, I also discovered that a neuropsych eval is, in fact, different from a psych eval, and I was able to find an office that takes me insurance. They called my provider, and it turns out I won’t even have to pay a copay, which is great. I have to cross state lines, but I’m okay with it. I like to think of myself as an individual with common sense, and as a result, yes, I did call the clinical psychologist who will be administering the evaluation. He said he does not have a definitive answer for me and that I should call my psychiatrist. I, of course, did that, and I left a voicemail. The turnaround time for communication with her is typically not great, so I acknowledge that there is a good chance I will not hear from her in time, and that brings me here.

My goals for the test are to gain diagnostic clarity and to explore potential treatment plans to help me with my day to day functioning and independence (I struggle a lot with everyday tasks, I’ve never had a full time job, and I live at home at 24).

So, if I don’t get an answer from my psychiatrist, what do you think I should do? Take my first 20mg dose of Vyvanse before my test, or raw dog it?

Edit: Okay, so not sure how much this matters, but I just thought I’d mention it just in case. The medication I was referring to in the body of the post by the name “Vyvanse” is not actually brand name Vyvanse. It’s just generic Lisdexamfetamine.

My psychiatrist believes me to have ADHD and prescribed me Vyvanse as a result. I was on 10mg for about a month. I then ran out of the medication and was unable to get an appointment with my psychiatrist, resulting in me going off of the medication for a few weeks. I had 2 pills left that I decided to save for some reason (Idk, I just felt like I should have them in case I “really needed them”). I finally was able to meet with my provider, and she upped my dose to 20mg. I took the final two of the 10mg yesterday and today after being off of them, so now I only have the 20mg pills.

I was operating under the assumption that I probably shouldn’t take them on my testing date, but I thought I’d ask just in case, and surprisingly, the clinical psychologist who will be administering the test really didn’t have a definitive answer for me. He said it depends on what I’m looking for, and I told him that I was looking for diagnostic clarity and potential treatment plans, and he said he still didn’t have a definitive answer. He told me to call my psychiatrist for an answer. I did, and I left a voicemail, and obviously if she gets back to me in time I will follow her advice over the advice I get in a reddit comment section. However, based on how past communication has gone with her office, I highly doubt I will get an answer from her in time.

So, what do y’all think?

I’ve had a lot of therapists (8 to be exact). Most of them sort of defaulted to CBT, which I was not a fan of. When searching for my current therapist a little over 2 years ago, I was specifically looking to explore psychodynamic therapy, as I’ve never had a therapist I could actually process my childhood with. I did a consultation with my now current therapist, and they told me that they don’t specifically do psychodynamic therapy but that their modality specifically works with processing trauma and is similar. I have been able to build a good rapport with this therapist and genuinely feel comfortable talking to them, and that is definitely a relief for me since some of my pasts therapists weren’t great.

However, I noticed that I was falling into the same pattern with my therapist that I did with past therapists: we only talk about what was currently happening in my life and never talk about my childhood wounds or anything. I once brought up that I wanted to spend some time with it, so we did one session that focused on it, and then the next session fell right back into the same pattern. I’ve tried bringing certain things up other times, but my therapist would just redirect me to focus on current things. I talked about this with my psychiatrist, and they said that my therapist should help me work through those things. So, I brought it up to my therapist again, and they said that they do cognitive processing therapy and that it focuses on how my trauma impacts my day to day life and that the actual details of said trauma aren’t relevant, and if I actually want to explore my trauma, then I need to find a different therapist who does EMDR. I’m not really interested in doing EMDR nor finding a new therapist, though.

Now, we’re just doing this really long, boring DBT workbook that I kind of hate and just want to get over with but it’s like 200 pages or something so I feel like it’ll never end. For reference, I’m being treated for Persistent Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My psychiatrist thinks I have ADHD, but my therapist disagrees. When I asked my therapist about what could be the root of my executive functioning issues and inattentiveness, they just said that I need to stop being so preoccupied with labels. They’re constantly asking me what I want to do in session/what I want to talk about, only to tell me that the things I want to talk about are not relevant to our therapeutic work. Then when I ask them what I’m supposed to say, they go back to telling me that we can use our sessions however I want. I just feel like we’re going in circles sometimes, and it is very frustrating.

The thing is, though, that I’ve never actually had a therapist that let me talk about my childhood, so it makes me wonder if that’s a myth about therapy and not a thing that actually happens. I’m also just feeling really frustrated with the whole mental health industry, and I’m honestly feeling really suicidal as a result (and yes, I did tell my therapist this and they basically just told me to talk to my psychiatrist about it). I’m just starting to feel like there’s no hope for me and like mental health treatment is just fundamentally useless. I was off my meds (Vyvanse) for a while, and I just got some more so I’ll go back on it and see if it helps, but if not I might just give up tbh.

Also, like what are therapists actually meant to do? Explain it to me like I’m 5.

Edit: My therapist uses they/them pronouns. Idk why some people are defaulting to “he” or “she” when I never used either for my therapist in this post.

Why can I never seem to find anyone who actually gives a shit about me? Why is that so much to ask for?

Looking for insight from fellow black actors specifically, here.

Basically, I’m a black woman and also an actor. I’m rehearsing for a ten minute play festival, and I’m having a bit of an issue with one of my directors, who is a white man. Essentially, any time I express any kind of emotion on stage or speak above a whisper (even though we’re not mic’d so I literally just wanted to make sure people could hear me), I’m told that my character reads as “too angry”. She’s also a very jaded, sarcastic character, but when I use sarcasm (that I know the playwright intended to be present in the script), I’m told it comes off as “hostile.” Basically, my rehearsal last night was just me in a room with too white men telling me I’m too loud and too angry. It’s not like I’m some diva who thinks I’m perfect and can’t take criticism. In fact, I’m the type of person who will go out of my way to ask for notes. I love notes. I love hearing how I can improve. However, I’d be lying if being stopped every other line so my white director and scene partner could tell me how loud, angry, and aggressive I seem to them wasn’t a little triggering for me. I tried to subdue the character enough to be palatable for them, but now I’m told that my performance lacks energy (and I agree, but I know that they’ll automatically perceive me as an angry black woman if I do have any energy), so I just feel like I can’t win. While of course, the director has not said this out loud, I truly feel like his issue is not with my performance, but rather with things about me that I can’t change. I don’t know how to move forward, and he has made this a really unpleasant experience for me to the point that I just want to drop out, but I know that looks bad, and I live in a small city with a small theatre scene where everyone knows everyone, so I don’t want to gain a reputation for being a diva and never get a role again. What am I supposed to do here?

How do you express anger when you don’t know it’s there? And what do you do when, by the time you do notice it, you’ve let it get really bad already?

I sometimes have a bad habit of keeping people in my life even though they treat me like shit just because I’m so desperate for friends and don’t have very many as is. But I decided to cut a really shitty “friend” who doesn’t care about me off today. I blocked her and everything. It’s hard, because that means one less person to talk to/hang out with and I tend to have a scarcity mindset since I struggle so much with making friends, but I am proud of myself for doing it nonetheless.

I’m looking for recommendations of short plays to serve as examples for my students. I’m currently teaching devised theatre to rising 9th graders (so 14 year olds mostly). They’re creating their own standalone scenes rather than creating a larger work, so I think that reading short plays could be helpful for them to give them an idea of what it could look like. We’re still more in the brainstorming stage, but once they dive more into actually formatting/writing, I think that could be useful.

Please keep the age of the students in mind when sending recommendations. I’m fine with swear words, but nothing overly sexual, please (especially since I will likely take volunteers to do cold reads of these scripts in class). Thanks!

I think I’m gonna have to go off of Vyvanse. It’s been helpful, but I’m not diagnosed as ADHD (I’ve actually been evaluated and found to not have it). My psychiatrist thinks I do, though, so she prescribed Vyvanse. It’s been helpful, but then said psychiatrist ghosted me, and I doubt any other psychiatrist is gonna be willing to prescribe it. I’m just so frustrated.

My psychiatrist prescribed me 10mg of Vyvanse. I reached out to her, because I’ve found myself experiencing some drowsiness on the medication. This was a week ago, and she never responded. We also don’t have another appointment scheduled (she didn’t bring it up during our last one). I’m wondering what’s a reasonable timeframe for psychiatrists to respond to medical concerns like this/how long I should consider myself ghosted and search for a new provider.

I’ve been reflecting a bit on my relationship with religion (or lack thereof, I suppose), and I was wondering if my alexithymia has contributed to it. I’m not a religious person. I suppose I consider myself agnostic, since there’s just no way to be “sure” of anything in that regard. Some people consider themselves spiritual but not religious, but I’m really not spiritual, either.

I was raised religious. Sort of. My parents were Christian, but we were never that consistent about going to church. I remember when we did go, people would talk about their relationships with God and the comfort it brought them. For a long time, I tried to force it, but I just don’t think religion has ever made me feel anything? Praying just felt like talking to myself. Singing hymns never made me feel closer to any sort of higher power. Listening to scripture was just boring.

So, now, it’s made me curious about other folks’ relationships with religion and whether or not you feel that your Alexithymia has contributed.

My dad is dead. It happened a long time ago, so I’m okay. I actually forgot it was Father’s Day, and then I opened instagram. Even after the realization hit me, I’m not sure if I felt anything. I don’t know if this relates to my Alexithymia or not. Maybe this is simply what moving on looks like. I don’t know. I just feel like a bad daughter sometimes. I used to try to stop by his grave on Father’s Day and his birthday, but it’s started to feel just like an obligation or even a chore. Like I’m performing grief. And that’s not to say that my grief isn’t very real. But I don’t know if how I experience it is exactly how other people do, and it makes me feel like a horrible person. I’ve tried talking to him at his grave, and I felt almost like I was forcing it. I don’t feel like I’m talking to him. I feel like I’m talking to a block of stone, not to him. They say there’s no wrong way to grieve, but I feel like I’m doing it all wrong.

Anyway, to anyone else here with a dead dad, my condolences, and I hope today is alright for you.