u/Naaji_lune

I was just trying to make pancakes and my sister was eating at the kitchen counter (very small apartment so that's the only cooking space). I asked if she could eat elsewhere (like the desk) so I could make them.

She refused to do so and wanted me to use a small table and claims it will "give me more room" (it won't).

I get annoyed and put back everything that I was going to cook with because how am I supposed to make them with no space? She then proceeds to say I "can't tolerate being annoyed" or smth along those lines and proceeds to SPEAK and SPEAK and SPEAK. One thing about me, when i'm frustrated i prefer if everyone just shuts the fuck up. So as she's continuing to talk and talk i'm just nodding and going into my room but she CONTINUES to talk abt me and mumble while i'm in the room like shut your goddamn mouth??? She's literally 20 years old i'm a teenager I am effectively de-escalating the situation by leaving/no longer engaging and not cooking anymore. You got what you wanted so why the hell do you feel the need to act like your mother and yap your head off abt a stupid situation?

I didn't even have the patience to tell her that i'm not even upset about the pancakes.

I'm upset because had it been her she would have flamed and gaslit me into doing it. When she wants smth she will demonize you and make it seem like YOU are the one being an inconvenience despite her being the one asking a favor.

She will expect me to pick things up for her at the store, move where i'm eating for her, move out of the room, move off of couches for her, do her hair, etc. She will get exasperated when you express not wanting to do these things but oh god FORBID I want to cook. Every favor she asks big or small she expects me to fulfill it, but when it's time to reciprocate it's an issue.

Mind you it's not like I found her eating in that area, she was warming up food AS I was getting things out to cook. Like I cannot believe someone can behave this way and never see fault in their behavior (and yes my other sibling agrees).

Just felt like ranting because I have an eating disorder so when i DO make myself eat it's very important to me and now i've given up and will likely not eat until dinner. (I don't expect her to accommodate my ED it just makes this more frustrating).

I was in the boys section today looking for some jeans and decided to buy boxers. I usually wear women's boxers which are EXTREMELY uncomfortable for me because they dig into my genitalia. The extra room male boxers have is so incredible it feels criminal that I wasnt wearing them beforehand.

Like holy cow why did no one tell me this sooner 🥹
And it's giving me great euphoria I feel incredible, hopefully I can pass it off to my family somehow since i like lounging with underwear.

I am a student ranking colleges for the Questbridge National College Match looking to gather first hand experiences on the colleges i'm considering!

Type of student: I'm not interested in Greek life, would love a nice outdoors, quirky, and authentic social scene with friends I can hangout with regularly. I'm a hard worker but value relaxation on certain days. I want liberty/freedom regarding my academics despite knowing I'm going to be premed because I have many passions. I want to have as many friends/connections as possible and gain a good community.

Questions

1. How is the education? Do the professors support the students?
2. What are pros/cons you've experienced?
3. How accessible are jobs, internships, opportunities, etc.
4. How is the social scene?
5. What is the general political sentiment that most students/faculty hold? Do POC and Queer individuals feel welcomed and supported?
6. How are the dorms and food?
7. Are there things to do around town?
8. Describe the school in one word!

I am a student ranking colleges for the Questbridge National College Match looking to gather first hand experiences on the colleges i'm considering!

Type of student: I'm not interested in Greek life, would love a nice outdoors, quirky, and authentic social scene with friends I can hangout with regularly. I'm a hard worker but value relaxation on certain days. I want liberty/freedom regarding my academics despite knowing I'm going to be premed because I have many passions. I want to have as many friends/connections as possible and gain a good community.

Questions

1. How is the education? Do the professors support the students?
2. What are pros/cons you've experienced?
3. How accessible are jobs, internships, opportunities, etc.
4. How is the social scene?
5. What is the general political sentiment that most students/faculty hold? Do POC and Queer individuals feel welcomed and supported?
6. How are the dorms and food?
7. Are there things to do around town?
   9.Is the admin truly that corrupt? Is the lack of admin support enough to deter me from applying?
8. Describe the school in one word!

Brown is my top school because of its ope curriculum and how quirky/authentic everything seems! (Also the PLME program)

I was wondering how the social scene was and how many thin there are in Providence? I'm not a city person and love hikes, nature, cute coffee shops, reading nooks, etc. so I was wondering how that would translate (if i ever got in lol).

(If i'm not allowed to post this I will gladly delete it :)

I am a student ranking colleges for the Questbridge National College Match looking to gather first hand experiences on the colleges i'm considering!

Type of student: I'm not interested in Greek life, would love a nice outdoors, quirky, and authentic social scene with friends I can hangout with regularly.
I'm a hard worker but value relaxation on certain days. I want liberty/freedom regarding my academics despite knowing I'm going to be premed because I have many passions. I want to have as many friends/ connections as possible and gain a good community.

Questions

1. How is the premed track?
2. What are pros/cons you've experienced?
3. How accessible are jobs, internships, opportunities, etc.
4. How is the social scene?
5. What is the general political sentiment that most students/faculty hold? Do POC and Queer individuals feel welcomed and supported?
6. How are the dorms and food?
7. Are there things to do in town?
8. Describe the school in one word!

I am a student ranking colleges for the Questbridge National College Match looking to gather first hand experiences on the colleges i'm considering!

Type of student: I'm not interested in Greek life, would love a nice outdoors, quirky, and authentic social scene with friends I can hangout with regularly.
I'm a hard worker but value relaxation on certain days. I want liberty/freedom regarding my academics despite knowing I'm going to be premed because I have many passions. I want to have as many friends/ connections as possible and gain a good community.

Questions

1. How is the premed track?
2. What are pros/cons you've experienced?
3. How accessible are jobs, internships, opportunities, etc.
4. How is the social scene?
5. What is the general political sentiment that most students/faculty hold? Do POC and Queer individuals feel welcomed and supported?
6. How are the dorms and food?
7. Is it a very city oriented experience? Or are there calmer areas?
8. Describe the school in one word!

I am a student ranking colleges for the Questbridge National College Match looking to gather first hand experiences on the colleges i'm considering!

Type of student: I'm not interested in Greek life, would love a nice outdoors, quirky, and authentic social scene with friends I can hangout with regularly. I'm a hard worker but value relaxation on certain days. I want liberty/freedom regarding my academics despite knowing I'm going to be premed because I have many passions. I want to have as many friends/connections as possible and gain a good community.

Questions

1. How is the premed track?

2. What are pros/cons you've experienced?

3. How accessible are jobs, internships, opportunities, etc.

4. How is the social scene?

5. What is the general political sentiment that most students/faculty hold? Do POC and Queer individuals feel welcomed and supported?

6. How are the dorms and food?

7. Is it a very city oriented experience? Or are there calmer areas?

8. Describe the school in one word!

I am a student ranking colleges for the Questbridge National College Match looking to gather first hand experiences on the colleges i'm considering!

Type of student: I'm not interested in Greek life, would love a nice outdoors, quirky, and authentic social scene with friends I can hangout with regularly. I'm a hard worker but value relaxation on certain days. I want liberty/freedom regarding my academics despite knowing I'm going to be premed because I have many passions. I want to have as many friends/connections as possible and gain a good community.

Questions

1. How did the open curriculum positively or negatively impact your educational experience?

2. What are pros/cons you've experienced?

3. How accessible are jobs, internships, opportunities, etc.

4. How is the social scene?

5. What is the general political sentiment that most students/faculty hold? Do POC and Queer individuals feel welcomed and supported?

6. How are the dorms and food?

7. Are there things to do around town?

8. Describe the school in one word!

I'm a student ranking colleges for the Questbridge National College Match looking to gather first hand experiences on the colleges i'm considering!

2 big motivators for my consideration of Amherst: It's location in MA and it's open curriculum.

Type of student: I'm not interested in Greek life, would love a nice outdoors, quirky, and authentic social scene with friends I can hangout with regularly. I'm a hard worker but value relaxation on certain days. I want liberty/freedom regarding my academics despite knowing I'm going to be premed because I have many passions. I want to have as many friends/connections as possible and gain a good community.

Questions:

1. How beneficial is the college consortium? Does it expand the amount of opportunities offered?
2. How does the open curriculum positively or negatively impact the educational experience?
3. How accessible are jobs, internships, opportunities, etc.
4. How is the social scene? Is the student athlete divide extremely detrimental?
5. What is the general political sentiment that most students/faculty hold? Do POC and Queer individuals feel welcomed and supported?
6. How are the dorms and food? Ive heard many mixed opinions.
7. Are there things to do around town?
8. How is the premed track?

I've been incredibly stressed due to college applications, sat testing/registration, scholarships, summer work, etc. and after realizing i had screwed something up felt that dread consume me.

As usual I went from calm to 100% certain that I would in fact die and could feel myself getting worse and worse. This may be a highly unconventional method, and definitely isn't for everyone, but I managed to stop it by using an adult pacifier. I just got it a while ago and mainly use it to avoid ripping off the skin on my thumbs but decided to try using it midway through before the hyperventilation kicked in

I didn't even notice the panic had subsided until I just...wasnt panicking anymore. This definitely leans into anxiety attack territory because it was induced by stress but decided to post here in case anyone wanted to try. Again, unconventional method, and i'm sure it won't work 100% of the time. But I've been dealing with intense panic attacks since 8 and this is the only thing in my life that's had this impact. Maybe someone else will benefit 🤷

Warnings: cocsa, grooming, minor

I'm currently 16 and all I can ever think about is how it felt to have those things happen to me.

I think about it when I wake up.
I think about it when I shower.
I think about it when I eat.
I think about it before going to sleep.
I think about it when i'm with friends.

In fact I don't STOP thinking about it. Sometimes i'll be fine and I can forget about it all but then the day comes to a close and I remember how those hands felt on me. I remember seeing the lustful look of my uncle when he saw me and how my mom's friend tried convincing my mom to let me "sleepover" at his place. I remember how numb I felt getting groped by her, then having her older sister do the same thing. It felt like I was some toy they passed around.

She touched me however she liked then asked me if I liked her. As if I was the one who wanted this. Like she was trying to convince me it was all somehow my idea. And I remember the way my male cousins somehow always found a way to get their hands on my genitals and how they'd slither their hand up my thigh.

I remember it all. The constant ache of being touched and sexualized by everyone around me. Like they were all in on some sick joke together seeing how far they could go before I screamed.

I'm so tired of remembering it.

And the worst part is now I feel all tainted and screwed up in the head because I want it back. I want to feel important, I want to feel cherished, I want to feel valuable again. I want to have grown men flirt with me again and tell me how adorable I am.

I hate that I feel this way and I hate that I infantilize myself in my head so I can get some sick gratification from wanting it again. Not having a father makes it all worse because now i'm ruined and I have daddy issues. I feel helpless. My mom doesn't even know, I tried telling her once and got dismissed so I just shut up about it. It's too late now.

It's funny how she hangs out with the mom of one of the girls who touched me. And how I had to see the boy who locked me in a bathroom with him years later too. It's funny how I can't seem to escape these people yet they've moved on. Somehow the actions they took as kids don't matter but for me? lol