i don’t like when people say “it’s not ghosting if you only went on 1-2 dates they just stopped texting you” but that’s literally what ghosting is…someone stops replying and acknowledging your existence. you can go on 0 dates and get ghosted.
i made the mistake of moving in with my alcoholic mother a few years ago because my parents got a divorce, i wanted to move out of my childhood home to feel more “adult”, and i couldn’t afford to live alone. both of my parents have been alcoholics my entire life but my mom is a different breed it seems. she turns into a different person while drunk and it’s scary.
throughout my whole life i’ve been body shamed, harassed, and even attacked physically by her multiple times while drunk. she has called me basically every mean word you can think of. i’ve been chased, had my hair pulled, and been punched by her. i guess i don’t really feel bad for myself because i knew what i was getting into by moving in with her but her addiction got worse after we moved in here.
last october she lost her job due to her alcoholism and hasn’t really made the effort to find a new one. she doesn’t get unemployment anymore and basically lays in bed and drinks nowadays. lately has been especially bad. she goes to the liquor store every day with the money she gets from my dad every month. she doesn’t take care of her dog when she gets in a blackout state like this. she eats maybe one meal every three days and hasn’t showered in two weeks. she yells at me, calls me ugly, loser, bitch, and makes fun of my body. she has also been throwing stuff like empty glass bottles, decorations, etc. all over our apartment too. between the throwing objects, the name calling, yelling, i just cant take it anymore.
tomorrow i’m going to start packing my stuff to move back home at my dads. i feel a bit like a failure and embarrassed for moving back home but i need to get away from her. my dad is an alcoholic too but he doesn’t harass me or physically attack me. the ultimate goal is to get away from both alcoholic parents and i’ll be saving a lot of money by living at my dads. my name is on the lease here so i will probably have an eviction on my record when she gets evicted but at this point i don’t even care. my anxiety has gotten so bad over the past few months that i had to get my medication dose increased. my mental health has been so bad lately due to this and i deserve better.
i’ve been ghosted by two different men in the past 6 months and now i’m super paranoid it’s going to happen again with a guy i’m talking to right now. i’m just assuming it will happen even though things are going well. the other day i saw my doctor to get my meds increased because my anxiety about getting ghosted again is so bad it’s making me cry. i hate that what they did impacted me this much mentally.