u/Ok_Calendar_7626

I am 38 male and i have not dated in a very long time. I have stopped counting how many years its been, and honestly, i do not want to think back to that time.

My previous relationship was very abusive and ended with my ex cheating on me on Valentines day with a guy she met at a tram a week prior. She basically got a kick out of telling me about the guys she met, what she found sexy about them, what i lacked compared to them, flirting with other guys in front of me etc.

Two years of emotional abuse, which i have internalized after the breakup have basically destroyed my self-esteem completely, and triggered a form of body dysmorphia.

Now i am lonely. I want to find somebody to share life with. But i am terrified that i will never be good enough to build a lasting relationship with any woman. And i am also terrified that if i try and it does not work out (and it probably will not), it will only further reinforce my already very negative self-image and make my dysmorphia worse.

I can not stand having my picture taken or looking at myself in the mirror.

At the same time, i dont want to spend the rest of my life alone. I dont want to be one of those people that die alone in their apartment and decompose for two years because there is nobody that misses them.

Looking for general tips because i learned to play the game on Yugoslavia and Red Dragons. But USSR seems completely different.

They dont seem to have many cheap "just good enough" units like Yugoslavia does. Instead their units (especially their infantry) seem really good, but also expensive and few in numbers.

The VDV 90 for example are really good, but all their transports are kind of odd. You get the 5 point BTR-D, which seems pretty shitty. Then you get the Robot, which is basically a BTR-D with a Fagot, which is not that good of an ATGM and frankly, i would rather have an APC with an autocanon that can take out other APCs then a crappy ATGM. The Skrezhet is an interesting idea as an AA APC, but it does not seem worth the 15 points stats wise (terrible accuracy).

Then you have the BMDs, most of which seem overpriced for what they can do. The BMD-3 has a great ATGM for 25 points. But combined with the 25 point VDV 90, thats a whopping 50 points squad!

And this is a theme that seems to apply to all Soviet infantry and transports. The cheap stuff is kind of shitty or gimmicky, and the good stuff is very expensive. Nothing in between.

Maybe i got too used to cheap Mehanizovana and Proleteri spam... When an F-111 (screw those guys) bombs those, i dont care that much. Especially if he gets a Neva missile in the face afterwards. But when he bombs my VDV or their expensive 25 point APCs, i really feel it!

Kind of torn myself.

They are both pretty effective generally. The only real difference is that that HQ-61s require a bit more micro so they dont get sniped by SEAD.

Fallout 4 nearly drove me insane today.

Vortex suddenly started disabling all my plugins over and over and i have no idea why. I am starting to get really damn tired of Vortex and its constant bullshit, but i dont want to have to reinstall everything yet AGAIN to switch to the Mod Organizer. Any way, eventually it stopped. But now my game started to crash when loading a save. Any save.

Eventually i fixed it by updating all my mods and messing around with my load order. Apparently the crashing was caused by the Previsbines Repair Pack update 81.8. Reverting back to version 81.5 fixed it.

But i still have no idea what was causing Vortex to act up.

I checked the Addictol crash logs, but i have no idea what any of that means. And provided of course that the crashing and Vortex screwing up are even related.

Occasionally my game will crash only to find out on trying to load back in that Vortex has disabled every single mod i have in my load order.

It is not common, but i have no idea why it happens.

They get the M67-HAN with the decently long range AOE and they can come in the WAPC that has a Mk. 19 for 30 points total.

The Kutei 90 with the Howa Type 96 rifles that have a respectable 60% base accuracy and the Minimi.

5 point transports with two MGs.

Type 89 Hachi-Kyu Shiki IFV with 4 frontal armor and a very respectable 35mm autocanon at 25 point and you can get 18 of them with the Syoujyu-Buntai 90s at hardened.

The Short Arrow is a pretty good anti-helicopter unti. And the Closed Arrow is a great light anti-air unit.

They get an absolutely bonkers 6! Type 90 Kayu-Maru Shiki tanks! Which is among the best super heavies in the game.

They get the Type 84G Nana-Yon Shiki tanks at 60 points with an amazing 17 AP gun for their price and a Mk. 19.

The Type 84E Nana-Yon Shiki at 50 points with 16 AP and 65% accuracy are not bad either.

The Type 61 Roku-Ichi Shiki with an MG and 6 frontal armor at 15 points, and you get 31 of them at trained.

The Ninja is an insanely good anti-air helicopter.

The AH-1F Cobra is not the best attack helicopter, but it is not bad for 80 points either. And you get 5 of them at hardended.

Honestly, the only tab where they are a bit lacking is planes. But even that is not outright bad, the F-1 is a very respectable 90 points bomber, with two 12 HE guided bombs.

Overall, they have a lot of units that are good-great. And few units that are not good. The only thing that is not really useable are the jeeps.

The transport variant that Graničari and Senke come in.

Seems pretty odd to me. I ordered it to shoot a CV yesterday, but it did not even give me the option to order the attack. But i am pretty sure i was using them to attack other helicopters a few times.

A video found its way into my feed today of a woman crying because her pet dog died. And i could not help but ask myself why would anyone record themselves doing that and post it onto social media?

I was devastated when my cat died a few years back, as a man, it is hard to admit but yes, i cried like a river. But the last thing on my mind at that moment was to record myself and post it on social media. I was grieving and most of all just wanted to be left alone to process it. And i am sure the woman in the video was also grieving over her dog as well. But even that was apparently not enough to make her forget her hunger for social media attention. Even for just a moment.

Since when has humanity become so utterly narcissistic that even grief does not stop us from craving attention? What is causing this?

I think it is because the confrontation with him comes too early in the game. And you dont really see anything of him between when he shoots your partner until you track him down.

He is meant to be your archnemesis, but the threat is just not there. He is mentioned a couple of times in terminal logs at University Point and thats pretty much it.

I think he would be a much more threatening villain if we had more run ins with him before the final confrontation. Maybe if there was a random chance of him showing up to fight you in certain parts of the Commonwealth. And if where were more visible effects of his villainy. And if more NPC mentioned him and now dangerous he is.

Nothing too serious, but the little things that make scratch your head.

Fallout 4

The Sole Survivor gets literally lifted out of the pre-war world and dropped into the wasteland, and somehow instantly knows to collect bottlecaps.

Fallout 3

How did Harold get rooted in that grove? Tree roots do not exactly grow overnight. Was he just standing there in one place for months until the roots took hold?

New Vegas

How did the Legion manage to get so many troops into the Divide behind NCR lines.

Fallout 2

There is a chop shop for car parts, but the player is the only one that seems to posses a working car.