u/Ok_Juggernaut_835

I totally forgot my ex-fling. I don't have any feelings for her anymore, and thinking about her never makes me sad. From time to time, I remember her, but I feel like I'm forcing myself to think about her. I don't know why, but I can't let go of people in my mind. It takes me so much time to stop holding onto their ghosts. I can't wrap my head around endings. Death and breakups feel the same to me. What could be the reason for this? I know that I'm fearful-avoidant. I might have inattentive ADHD, and I might have relationship OCD. Is it because of relationship OCD?

I totally forgot my ex-fling. I don't have any feelings for her anymore, and thinking about her never makes me sad. From time to time, I remember her, but I feel like I'm forcing myself to think about her. I don't know why, but I can't let go of people in my mind. It takes me so much time to stop holding onto their ghosts. I can't wrap my head around endings. Death and breakups feel the same to me. What could be the reason for this? I know that I'm fearful-avoidant. I might have inattentive ADHD, and I might have relationship OCD. Is it because of relationship OCD?

Hello guys!

I'm not trying to be illegal but I found this lovely room (with a cat :')) for the first semester. I'll move somewhere else for second semester. Is it okay to rent such a house. Does it cause any problem with residence permit renewal, do you have any idea?

I want to pass my thesis. And I'm planning to stay here one more year so I decided to fail one of my classes but I'm not sure if I can obtain a residence permit with only one course. Have you ever heard something like this? I want to do this because when you're a student everything is easier but I'm not sure if I can stay here with only one course.

Recently, I was hanging out with the loveliest woman in the world. She had a male partner and was in an open relationship. Unfortunately, we stopped seeing each other, but the reason was irrelevant. During our relationship, I was slightly insecure about her relationship, but it was not a big issue, so I didn't even try to talk about it. I tried to understand why. Is it because I'm not into open relationships or her bisexuality, etc.? Then I realised that women’s relationships with men make me feel like a child because my whole childhood was filled with platonic crushes on these newly-wed women. I feel kind of the same, and my feelings feel less important compared to her relationship, which is approved and supported by society. And I lowkey put myself in a kind of fantasy instead of a real relationship. I think it flares up my internalised homophobia, and I don't know how to deal with it. With her it was easier because she had this miserable sapphic story as a child so I could relate to her and got rid of these ideas but I cannot imagine being with a bi girl who is in a relationship and has no such a childhood memory.

I really get lost in this term. I don't love myself but at the same time I don't hate myself. I wouldn't choose myself as a partner, for example. The only time that I see myself as a likeable person is when someone loves me. I've been lonely for years and years and this destroyed my relationship with myself so now I can easily say that I don't love myself. I believe that we love ourselves more when people love us. Their love nourish our love toward ourselves. How could somebody love himself/herself when nobody touched his/her body with compassion, with love for years?

I'm so reliable person in friendships but when it comes to romantic relationships I ruin everything all the time. I'm like a pinpon ball between extreme emotions and numbness. I get too emotional and then all of a sudden break up with people. I wouldn't say that I'm an angry person but resentments turn me into an angry person. I've never experienced this in my romantic relationships by the way. I onlu get angry at my parents. With my partners I'm sometimes child-like emotional ball and I feel so ashamed of it. So, I usually run away from people. I don't have much experience in love just because of this. Now, I did it again. I ruined this very beautiful possibility with this very beautiful soul. And I don't know what to do. I blame myself and I cannot stop thinking that I don't deserve any nice romantic connection, I cannot deal with those emotions. I think insensity of emotions comes from adhd. In the past I thought if I could be borderline or bipolar but I'm not that destructive or hysterical person. This year, for the first time, my therapist told me that she thinks I might have adhd. After researching this rejection sensitivity and emotional dysregulation, it made sense. But I don't know what to do this. Does it mean that I'm doomed forever? I'm 33 and I act like a child and I hate it when I acted like a child.