u/Old-Midnight-8979

So I had no choice but to now face xanax and alcohol taper.

What sucks is I have no interest in quitting alcohol forever, but this sucks.

5 years of .25 xanax every morning. Only thing that kept my cervical dizzyness away every day or I would be jobless and jump a cliff it was torture.

Then started taking another .25 at night cuz Im an idiot.

Then trauma and stuff caused me to start taking another .5 here and there.

Then dec 2024 lost my stepdad of 35 years and now moms alone at 76 years old, me at 50 they were the ONLY 2 people or anything outside my dog that made my heart full of joy and care about all lifes joys, then therapist of 13 years died then 2 oldest best friends then uncle who was huge in my life. Then my dog got bad health problems and Im single no kids shes my life but shes old and not gonna be around very long.

So i ran out of my xanax about 7 months ago and got ahold of higher doses along with getting mine back.

Got to taking around up to 2mg a day for 3 to 4 months.....

now I have been on .5 in morning and .5 before bed at midnight

NOW...... drinking regularly since covid.

last 2 years though especialy after stepdads death and all the trauma, was drinking up to 4 tall can strong IPAs a night, and or 2 or 3 plus 2 or 3 shots.

and drink beers through the afternoons on weekends

SOOOOOO NOW THIS

Im proud to say.........

...... since theres no way my doc was going to up my xanax to 2 fkn mg a day..... he put me in for 1mg a day.

SO HERE WE GO, AND I HAVE TO BE PROUD, BUT ALSO IM DYING INSIDE

Ive been on .5 xanax in morning and .5 at midnight.

The alcohol, I got down to 2 tall can trulys 5 percent alcohol...... then 1 truly and 1 tall can corona

now 2 tall can coronas.

SO..... I know MOST say never add alchohol to benzo taper, well Im not. Im not stupid and adding something I never did to an existing dependency.

NOW LETS GO....

oh and maybe someone will be proud and see how hard Ive worked to get both down.

So the alchohol, is the ONLYYYYYYY FKN THING that by 9 at night, is keeping me from ending it, because this has been absolutely devastating crippling anhedonia and anxiety.

I also know, its making the next day as bad as the previous.

I could teach a course in alcohol.

My thing is......

1. Ive already done a HUGE alchohol taper.

2. Ive already done a huge xanax taper.

3. I am trying to still lower the alchohol.

4. The psych wants to stay at this xanax dose a bit longer.

5. should I not have leveled off a bit after 2 months????? Or was it too drastic too fast??

6. I know most of you say you have to lose the alchohol first. I dont think I have the time or strength. Even right now, 8 at night, Ive been suffering all day trying not to want to be gone. So by 930, Im going to grab the beer or 2 and take my old sweet doggy to the park. and I will feel like I dont want to be dead finally. Just from 2 stupid ass low alchohol tall cans. I will feel good untill I go to sleep around 1 or 2 in morning which is when I take my next .5 xanax so it helps sleep at least 4 hours.

7. I feel zero from the xanax anymore, is it because my tolerance got so high?

8. why do I fully feel the 2 beers, since I was drinking 5 times as much before?

9. Why havnt I leveled out a bit after 2 months of this 1mg xanax a day and dropping the alchohol so low?

10. Have literally NONE of you successfully tapered both together, or ditched xanax while still drinking? I find that hard to believe, because Ive over heard ppl in bars and parties befor say they were hooked on xanax bad and had to quit, meanwhile there they were still drinking.

Still, shoukdnt I have leveled out a bit after 2 months? Was the taper just too drastic? Could it level out soon so I can taper a bit mor slower this time?

Can anhedonia ease up while you are tapering?

Unfortunately Im tapering xanax as well.

Im dying.

But lets focus on the alcohol part.

I have no interest in quitting forever but want to go back to my old self of a drink or 2 with dinner, or just at concerts or such.

After the virus I got in this nightly drinking habbit.

A few months ago I was still drinking up to 4 tall can strong IPAs through the evening, sometimes a couple cans and a few shots.

Last 3 months its been 2 tall can plain coronas instead.

The anhedonia is killing me, im sure from going so much lower with the alchohol percentage and amount.

Can I start feeling at least a little relief from the all day anhedonia from tapering so much?

I quit lexapro about a year ago. About 13 years ago zi quit and had to go back due to daily anxiety for no reason.

I also can ony get my testosterone up to around 500 due to blood clots, and low testosterone already cause low libido and stuff.

So I quit again a year ago.

Now here I am tapering xanax and Ive had ALL day fight flight freeze crippling anxiety.

and anhedonia for several months.

I cant do it anymore, trying not to go on temp disability.

Trying not to want to give up everything.

Seeing the psych next week, he wanted me to just give this xanax dose another month then concider adding something.

I cant take it.

He mentioned zoloft.

I read tons of bad stuff about zoloft.

Wellbutrin made me wsnt to end it.

So now Im heading to him next week having to be open to adding something.

I dont know how much of this crippling anxiety is the xanax taper..... or my body needing lexapro again.

Im devistated at the thought of having to fully lose libido and ED from ssri again, but, it better than death........

Anyone use ssri to help through the taper?

Im also scared ssri will worsen anhedonia.

Please, thoughts on this...

I cant imagine surving another month on this same xanax dose, I get zero relief, only thong that helps the anhedonia and anxiety is a few drinks at night, and yes I know thats bad, but i got down to just 1 tall can corona, from 4 IPAs and a shot or so all evening before.

So Im proud of that but Im dying.

So please, thoughts on SSRIs or other for the anxiety and anhedonia durring this....... because this horror might not only be from the taper, it could be also from being off lexapro for a year?

help

Been on lexapro 15 years or so.

Been on .25 xanax every morning for 6 years for occipital nerve dizziness after trying every doctor.

After covid and discovering low testosterone I was so tire of feeling down and a bit anhedonic without having a few drinks we tried wellbutrin.

Three weeks of wanting to die, tunnel vision, head pressure, paranoid, tinnitus,nausea, dizzy, anxiety, couldnt form a sentence.

Been on testosterone now for a couple years but can only get around 500 or I will get another blood clot.

Major trauma and loss december 2024

drank more, took more xanax, quit lexapro about 10 months ago maybe, felt a cloud lift and libido come back a bit.

Got up to 2mg here and there a day on xanax for about 3 months, after doing about 1mg a day..... now this past 2months it's been tapering so I'm down to .5 twice a day.

For the past 3 or 4 months the anhedonia and depression and anxiety have led me to facing disability now, constant crisis line calls just to cry and be heard, I'm in hell.

Trying to figure out how much is from the xanax and alcohol tapering, vs maybe the body wanting the lexapro back

So I see the psych next week.

His goal was to keep me at this xanax dose for a bit then tell him how i'm doing next week and if bad still then possibly ad zoloft.

Well I've read all those horror stories, and I thought maybe I will have to go back on lexapro. But my thing is I'm terrified of an SSRI making the depression anhedonia worse and right back to tanked libido or ED as a 50 year old single guy.

The ONLY time my anhedonia lifts is when I have a couple drinks around 9 at night then I finaly can fkn breath for the rest of the night.

Yes I know all the stuff about alcohol, and xanax.

So I tell the doctors and therapist if alcohol heals the anhedonia, what med would work better because that's more dopamine hit right? Like how blow makes someone feel amazing. Well from everything they say and I read, that would be like wellbutrin, well that almost killed me.

So I'm doomed with SSRI?

Is there anything else for anxiety and anhedonia that won't treat me like wellbutrin?

Has anyone had luck adding something like that to benzo taper?

Its terrifying because Im only gonna see him for like 15 minutes, fkn stupid.

My old therapist thought I needed vyvance, well won't that shit cause anxiety?

Right now for three or four months, crippling anhedonia other than sadness and fear and anger.

Sever depression.

Absoloutly crippling anxiety fight flight freeze full body from the moment my eyes open till I go to sleep at night then four hours later full on allllllll fkn day.

Nothing helps, only alcohol for the anhedonia and maybe anxiety late at night, I know that can make it all worse the next day but I've tapered big time the drinking from like 4 tall can IPAs and a shot or so every night from after work till sleep, to just 1 or 2 tall coronas after 9 at night, so that's fkn huge for me.

So please, anything I put a question mark on, please give thoughts, and any other thoughts welcome.

please help, I see him next week.

Im tapering xanax and alcohol, and have had terrible high chronic stress and low testosterone since covid, i can only get my testosterone to mid range, i know my nervous system is terrible.

So Two main questions, B vitamins, they always seem to make my anxiety way worse instead of better.

B1 is supposed to be important for my issue, and some say b5..... what th f am I doing wrong, how can i take b vitamins without anxiety spikes,

also, it says l theanine should help.

i tried it a couple times but cant tell if it gave me worse rebount anxiety or what, cuz later in the day after a nap after taking it one morning my anxiety was nuts.

its not supposed to mess with gaba right?

I know my blood sugar is high, im still trying to taper alcohol and xanax, i read ozempic can cause nausea and dizziness,

im going to try and exercise, and eat better, but any other supplements or advice?

Guys I know my magnisium is jacked from drinking and chronic stress

magnesium glycinate jacked me up, bad brain fog and dizziness, i read its not good for tapering xanax that it messes with gaba

is theonate safer, i need magnesium but need one thats legit and wont cause side effects, any more dizziness anhedonia anxiety and im dead

Can as many ppl chime in as possible please...

Ive made more detailed posts, but too much detail maybe.

Did anyone ever just get bad anhedonia and depression while on xanax for years?

Then how about once tapering started, severe anhedonia and anxiety

So anhedonia bad yes or no?

Sadly Ive been having to taper nightly alcohol as well.

When I take my next xanax, I feel zero relief from anything.

Couple drinks and anhedonia lifts.

Im fkn dying I cant take this anymore.

5 years or so of 3 years .25 xanax a day, then another at night for a couple years, then last year up to 1mg then for a few months up to 2mg a day..... now 2 months of .5 twice daily and 1 or 2 tall beers at night to stop the anhedonia depression.

Pleas someone help this anhedonia

they conider ssri again but I quit Lexapro a year ago because after 15 years on it i think it was causing some of that and libido stuff.

Wellbutrin made me want to end things.

Could my new severe anxiety be from a year off lexapro, or more likely the xanax tapering?

So anhedonia and depression while on xanax too long, or while tapering?

Im in hell

Tapering xanax and alcohol.

Always have struggled with anhedonia a bit and general anxiety.

Many major losses last year.

Anyways, just wanna stick to this though, did omega 3s help lift your mood and help things for you?

I take prescription strength now.

Only bad thing is i think it stirs up this weird histamine thing they cant figure out for a year now, but most think its stress related from all my trauma. My head neck and face itch super bad.

Didnt happen yesterday but happened right now.

Anyways, omega 3s help you guys with brain fog, anhedonia, depression, anxiety?

How about vit c?

Im taking prescription omega 3s again and D3.....

some say my alcohol and d3 and such can deplete magnisium

last 2 times I tried magnisium glycinate during this taper I felt terrible and I think zi read tjat magnisium can do that during xanax taper.

Should i just ignore the magnisium for now, i doubt im really depleting it that bad....

.

Tapering xanax and alcohol and pry gonna be a long ride.

I know the b1 depletion link with alcohol, will b1 cause anxiety or make it worse for me right now, as its already terrible

I had major loss back to back, and other hardships, more to come, 50 single no kids male, the biggest one was losing stepdad last year of 35 years and he and my mom were my best friends, did stuff together constantly, my true home base, only thing the brought me peace in life despite tons of family and friends, they dont make me feel the same, if I can even get them to slow down and actually be together. I would always do my own thing, traveled alone often, all my hobbies, but it all felt like being alive because they were always there when I was done and just being at their house or mine or us going out or traveling or just sitting together, they were the only thing that made the rest of life worth a shit to me, now my mom and I are struggling with our relationship and its torturing me.

Anyways, Im tapering xanax and it sucks because after everyone died last year, and my low testosterone and other strife, and started going hard on the xanax to just sleep it all away, severe anxiety depression anhedonia.

also drink still at night because it literally is the ONLY relief I get from the Anhedonia.

So with meds, my question.........

Who here felt drinking completely temporarily relieves the anhedonia?

Then, if so, that would me we are fighting a dopamine issue right?

So SSRIs help the anxiety, but dont hit the dopamine problem, well meds like Wellbutrin do, then why did Wellbutrin make me almost have to check myself out....I took it ontop of lexapro.

Im not on lexapro anymore.

Did any of you who feel the complete relief from anhedonia from alchol, ever find a med that got rid of the anhedonia and depression, with feeling like hell......... while also helping anxiety?

What about stuff like vyvance, pry cause worse anxiety?

Basically I got crippling anxiety, sadness, anhedonia, depression, Im terrified there is no hooe as I dont care about life without them anymore, Im barely surviving every minute is a struggle, untill I grab a couple drinks and take my dog to park at like 9pm,

but I cant just drink all the time.

I looked up other youtube vids and saw years ago I posted about anhedonia even way back, also claiming that it goes away if I drink.

Well you cant just drink all the time.

I can give a course in alcohol and mental health.

I felt like anhedonia and low libido lifted after I quit Lexapro, but a year later now more anxiety and anhedonia and everything, but ton of its coming from the xanax taper Im sure.

Anyways, meds other than Wellbutrin that might help my dopamine since alcohol helps? I just need more ammo to bring my psych.

Fkn torture you only see your psych for moments per month, and starting with new therapist is awful

Severe anhedonia and depression unless I drink. Chronic anxiety.

Tapering long term xanax use and chilling out the drinking.

6 major losses last year, most importantly my stepdad of 35 years so even as a 50 year old single guy, my mom and him together were the only ones in the family and friends that made me feel life was meaningfull, mom moved out of the old house and has hardened up and trying to cope as well but shes got more ppl around, the ppl I got dont bring me relief.

Anyways long story, so went heavy on the xanax for like 4 months after already taking more than my regular daily dose for nerve problems..

All I wanted to do is be bed ridden, safe in bed asleep, soon as I wake up, my hell is back.

So now on lower doses, theydont do shit, they just cause emotional blunting and keep me from getting sick while tapering.

I have low Testosterone so my cortisol and adrenaline run way high.

This is absolutely hell, trying not to lose my job.

Sadly Alcohol relieves the Anhedonia big time but I cant just drink all the time.

Heres what im curious from you guys about.

Of course Ive done all the research and was in fitness and nutrition all my life till covid......but i want personal experiences.

I wake up, in forning, instant hell, floods of cortisol, anxiety, dread, saddness anhedonia and realize within seconds im still in hell and see no hope.

I force and force myself to try and go back to slerp for hours.

By the time I cant handle the buzzing feeling of terror and cortisol anxiety, I finaly get up, and have to fight that feeling all day, till finally at lunch or after work, I force nap again, then sleep but then try and force that longer, same thing though, not sleep inertia but anxiety and anhedonia torture, dwelling thoughts and absolute fear for how my life has become and the bad future stuff Im facing.

Have you guys noticed that napping, and forcing it, and forcing yourself to sleep in, Im mean hours of laying there trying to go back........

does this stuff make your anhedonia, depression way worse?

I think it keeps the cortisol high because your not using it up, but does it make the anhedonia absolute torture, and depression?

Its so dam hard because I want the sun to explode and to just stay asleep forever.

Also, if any of you have the same feeling that alcohol instantly rrmoves the anhedonia? If so, thats usually a dopamine issue, but the meds like Wellbutrin that are supposed to help that, Wellbutrin almost killed me, what othrrs have worked for you

Got back in the cig habbit this past 6 months.

Im having terrible time durring this xanax taper, also have low testosterone and high cortisol and have myself hardly doing anything physical to burn up the cortisol adrenaline and such. Im trying.

Most say dont quit cigs or alcohol at the same time as benzos but heres the deal, I feel nothing but worse anxiety and cortisol like after a cig, I think even while smoking it now.

I know cigs work on gaba and dopamine and cortisol and everything.

so unlike alchohol that makes me feel great and gets rid of everything, anhedonia depression anxiety.....

the cigs are making this process terrible by keeping my cortisol and such up.

I think I gotta quit em. I think my nervous system is to jacked, and my hormones.

Any similar experiences?

Maybe my other post was to confusing?

Does xanax actually worsen or cause anhedonia and depression for some of you, even though it alleviates the anxiety?

Im on a taper, so it doesnt even help the anxiety anymore hardly, but I feel like the anhedonia and depression are way worse after each dose for the hours its active, then I think I start feeling less anhedonic for a little bit before my night dose.

So, think hard about this for a sec, I hope I explain this right.

Im tapering xanax and alcohol, so my couple hard seltzers are at night a few hours befor bed because the anhedonia and depression anxiety are too much to handle after the entire day, and yes we know the alcohol makes it worse the next day. However the couple tall cans completely make me feel alive again, so yeah.

Im trying to pick the night to skip the alcohol completely, sry just very hard because the anhedonia is crippling.

So Ive notice over the past week, I take my .5 xanax around 11am.....

due to a lower dose now, it hardly helps the anxiety.

now, alcohol helps anxiety and especially anhedonia and depression

I truly believe, that xanax works differently, as it helps the anxiety normally, it causes anhedonia and depression a bit while its working.

I think I noticed than by the time it comes around 9 at night where I feel I need the drinks to stop the crippling anhedonia depression, that the crippling anhedonia starts to chill a bit......right before I buy the drinks

so im thinking, maybe the f.... I mean the stupid xanax truly causes me the worst part of the anhedonia, and could it be wearing off enough by that time, that I can skip the drinks, not feeling great, but finally manageable, then just take my next .5 xanax before bed......

Because in the end, the alcohol at night plus the xanax before bed makes everything worse the next day......

but have you guys noticed in tapering benzos, that they kinda of still help the anxiety, but cause depression and anhedonia after taking your dose, then that part of it chills out later?

Again, I think alchohol helps each ailment, but I think anhedonia and depression can be worse during the several hours of xanax......

I think I might be able to fight easier through the night without the alchohol, and skip it, knowing the fu...... I mean stupid benzo was causing most the anhedonia.

Please let someone know wtf Im trying to say lol.

I see some comments about taking gaba?

Im tapering xanax, and alcohol, so would taking gaba during my horrible anhedonia anxiety depression cause a worse effect, is there ANYTHING THAT HELPS

Since the virus I started drinking nightly. Then also had to start takinging .25 xanax in mornings for occipital nerve daily dizziness stuff.

Anyways, last couple years from trauma and loss, I started taking way more xanax.

So Im tapering now, and got my drinks to a couple tall can seltzers at night.

My symptoms for the past 1 or so is severe freeze mode like torture over the slightest amound of stress like having to even clean the toilet, so imagine what work feels like, one slight challenge and I die inside like I want to cry and scream.

Then the rest is sever anhedonia and anxiety depression.

.5 xanax in morning, couple drinks around 9 at night to finaly give me relief, then .5 xanax before sleep about 1 in morning.

After the drinks I feel alive again. But only for the rest of the night.

Is this just completely keeping my dopamine shot each day?

Is the nightly drinking for years what likely has cause my severe freeze sleep response to even trying to talk to a mechinc about my car, or talk to a customer?

Battery, alternator, ac control modular, wire harness from resistor to front blower motor, blower motor, resistor, all new.

Original blower motor straight dight one day, replaced resistor, still dead, replaced motor, within a month made loud noise burned up.

Next motor, cheap brand as well, smell burn through vents, replaced wires and modular and resistor.

Just had ac leak fixed, they said compressor is whinny and may go out soon.

Everything I see says compressor wont cause inside motor issues.

They fixed leak.

Motor did not get hot anymore.

Now, 2 months later, RPMs at idle when ac on bringing in outside air, go up and down each second while voltage drops, then stops sometimes.

sat the other day with recycle ac on, started smelling burn again......

felt motor, hot heck

last few days just ran outside ac, no smell but felt motor, hot, and all wires warm, nothing burnt or melted, RPMs still go up, then down, at idle.

just popped in another cheap motor, already getting hot.

What the heck else is causing this?

Compressor voltage may be whats popping my headlights.

Everything shows compressor wont touch this motor.

Whats causing my motor and wires to get hot?

Some say you need an oem motor that these suck, but come on........ im broke, I cant afford to guess.

So from my other posts you can see my sob story from all the trauma losing all the ppl and drastic life change in early 2025, built up from years of fighting other stuff.

I quit my lexapro of over 10 years about a year ago.

Was on .25 xanax every morning for over 5 years to stop an occipital nervrve cervical dizzyness thing daily.

Started taking morr xanax when things got bad then more.

So about a 10 months, i dont remember, away from lexapro, in the beginning i got some libido back, felt less anhedonic and such I think.

But then when I whent heavier on the xanax they also cause brain fog and such anhedonia unless I drank.

Slowly anxiety, 24 7 came back big time, anhedonia, apathy, depression, feel frozen, only want to hide in bed, brain fox, horrible hopless and pry gonna lose my job. Can hardly make myself shower.

Well couple months ago I had to start tapering the xanax, so I know thats killing me, the anhedonia and anxiety started getting bad a bit before that, but is insane now.

Psych said lets try one more month with this xanax dose before possibly adding something.

Well I already have low testosterone and can only take so much testosterone, so ssri made libido and such even worse.

Since alcohol makes me feel great again temporarily I feel I have more of a dopamine issue but wellbutrin almost killed me. Big time.

Im dying to figure out if like my psych mentioned zoloft but were scared I will lose my job while starting it........ or its all just from the xanax taper......BUT IM AFRAID..... that what if this is more a full on sign I need the lexapro back?

as devestated as I will be to have more libido issues or other side effects as a 50 year old single guy, its wrecking me right now thinking I should maybe just start my lexapro back...... because I have no idea how I can go on much longer, 24 7 fight or flight frozen crippling anxiety and dread and anhedonia and spaced....... again unless I have a few drinks. But we all know all about alcohol.

please help

sucks you cant just see or call your psych as needed right fkn now