▲ 1 r/WorkAdvice+1 crossposts

Coworker treating me especially terrible, and I don't think HR will help

I work at a semi-small family-owned pizza shop that employs probably 100 people across all three locations and our bakery. I've worked for the company for around 2 years, and I really love my job and almost all of my coworkers. I have been considered for a promotion a few times, but because my availability is limited, I've been passed over for someone with a more flexible schedule.

The coworker, whom I'll call Anne, was hired about six months after me. I was already working my way to a promotion by then, and while I was really shy, I knew I was really a part of the team and well-liked by everybody (still mostly true).

Anne and I really hit it off in the beginning, as we had a lot of things in common and our personalities just generally worked as a duo. She was pretty good at the job from the beginning, and after she was trained, I felt a lot like we were equals (I worked only 3 days a week whereas she's full time, so my skills/experience built much slower).

However, after a few months, she suddenly started avoiding me, acting short with me, and nitpicking everything I did and going to one of our managers (whom everybody dislikes) about every breath I took. She developed a sort of nose-in-the-air attitude, like she was better than everybody, but she seemed to treat me especially different. I started getting really anxious and stressed out when I was on shift with her, always wondering what she was going to get me in trouble for next, which led me to make more mistakes than on shifts without her. I had to go home sick a couple of times because the stress was affecting me so much.

Back in October-November, I got an announcement on our schedule app that she was going to be a supervisor. And I >!threw up everything I ate.!< I had one of the worst panic attacks of my life, and nearly quit my job on the spot.

She makes me feel like I'm totally beneath her, and like I'm a horrible person just for existing in the same space as her. I have no idea what I did to deserve this kind of treatment, especially considering we went from getting along really well to not getting along at all.

She recently did something (I won't go into specific detail, but it just highlighted how terrible of a person she is) and the entire staff has beef with her. And many of them have come to me to say they see what I was trying to say all along. She's been making nice with all of our other coworkers because almost everyone stopped engaging in her drama, but not me.

She talks bad about everybody behind their backs, even going as far as to actually insult them to other people. I mostly ignore her when she's around, but because she's my direct superior, I have to listen to her enough to not get myself into trouble. I think she knows this because she'll delegate every task she can to me while basically standing around talking with my other coworkers. The only times she's helped me while I was drowning on my station was when it could make her look better and me look incompetent. Apparently, she's been talking especially bad about me, but I don't know the extent of what she's saying (I do plan to ask around and find out, however, so I can decide if I should be concerned or not)

I've asked her directly several times if there's something I did that's upsetting her, and the answer is always the same: it's not me, she just has something going on and it's affecting her emotionally. Every. Single. Time. I'm really starting to feel like her punching bag

I don't know if this is something I *can* bring to HR. I trust the coworkers that came to tell me what she's doing and that they see the way I'm being treated, but our HR lady has brushed me off a few times in the past, so I'm hesitant to bring something like this to her. I can talk to our GM, and he'll at least have some good advice on what I should do, but I don't want to bother him with something like this because he's very anti-drama. I've also been really afraid she'll retaliate in some kind of way and make things even harder for me or try to push me into quitting.

Should I ask the coworkers that came to talk to me to help me talk to HR and/or the GM, or try to handle it on my own? Is it even with trying to handle with the upper management? I don't want to sound bitter/spiteful because she was chosen over me for the promotion like I think they suspect, but I don't want the continued tension either. And is there any way to word it so it comes off as professional rather than just complaining?

Tl:dr my coworker, Anne, has been treating me like I'm completely beneath her, talking tons of shit about me behind my back, and giving me extreme anxiety and panic attacks just from being on the same shift. I don't have the confidence HR will handle it because I've been brushed off in the past, but I really feel like it needs to be addressed. I've tried addressing it directly with Anne, and she's said there's no problem but continues to treat me terribly.

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 1 day ago
▲ 0 r/Maine

Anyone remember a yearly reading program in elementary schools 2009-2016?

When I was in elementary school (2009-2016) we had yearly lists of books to read, and we got special rewards for how many of them we read. I went to Spruce Mountain (previously Livermore Elementary School) and Lincoln Elementary in Augusta, and I feel like I remember both of them doing the same or at least a similar program.

The name of it is on the tip of my tongue, but I'm really struggling to remember what it was. Google searching didn't help either, as it just kept talking about the Scholastic Book Fair.

My brother and I randomly remembered it while we were reminiscing on our childhood.

Anyone know what I'm talking about? We feel like we're going crazy trying to remember what it was called

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 5 days ago

Patterns for infant/baby hats that are stretchy, and maybe has a bow

My coworker and his girlfriend are having a baby in September, and I usually make hats for any new babies my coworkers have. The theme they're doing is simply bows, preferably pink.

I think having it be stretchier/able to be grown into would be better, considering babies grow fast and have soft heads.

I'm going to look for a soft, breathable yarn too that won't irritate sensitive skin too much, but I'm open to suggestions.

Videos are preferred, but I can generally follow a written pattern. I just get confused at written instructions

Thanks in advance!

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 13 days ago

Anyone else get nervous posting a DD:DNE for the first time?

I posted a fairly dark, gruesome fic (hopefully very well tagged/warned) and I've been nervous ever since.

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The only two other fics I have posted are dark, but not nearly that gory/gruesome. It creeped me out when I re-read it one final time to make sure there weren't any typos, and I wrote the thing

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Tagging as NSFW because of potential comments

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 15 days ago

Help with mental disorder research

This post is going to cover a lot of sensitive topics, like >!panic attacks, mental health crisis, suicidal ideation, disordered eating, neglect of self, period-typical homophobia !<so if you're triggered by any of these, please do not read on

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I have a character I'm writing that's having a mental health crisis due to ongoing stress from war, and I have him written with an obsessive, compulsive reaction that leads to an adherence to made up rules for himself. I say obsessive and compulsive without any indication towards OCD, because I'm not convinced that fits with what I'm going for.

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This character forms an unhealthy attachment to his best friend (and crush, which is part of the problem) and starts out just making sure the friend's needs are always taken care of. He won't eat until this person does, won't even have a sip of water until he does. He >!even edges himself and never let's himself lose control, because he's afraid something will happen if he does and he'll lose this person. It also doubles as a punishment, but he can't come up with a rational reason he needs to be punished.!<

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The mere thought of losing this person >!made him spend every night in the center of a minefield, where he thought he was safest from the feelings. He literally memorized the map the army gave them to the mines so he never steps on one. But when his friend finally finds him there, he feels like he can't live with himself. He also has frequent panic attacks if this person isn't where he can see or hear him to confirm nothing happened to him.!<

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On to the question: what sort of mental disorder (or pair of them) can cause something like this? I want to research them to make sure I'm writing them properly. I was thinking a combination of gross stress reaction and obsessive compulsive reaction (using the DSM-I, since this is set in the 1950s war period) but I feel like he'd shy away from rules rather than creating them

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If you think it makes no sense, I'll accept that too. I'm writing more from personal experience than any sort of researched condition, but it really just boils down to a fawning stress reaction

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 19 days ago
▲ 10 r/spiders

First time seeing one of these, thought he was just a cool little guy

Pretty sure its a crab spider, found in Maine, USA. I honestly would have let him live on my windowsill, but he was getting really big really quick, and I decided to move him outside where he might get some better meals. He started out the size in the pic, and ended up almost twice that size when I removed him.

I wondered if it couldn't also be a female with eggs, which I definitely do not want in the house.

u/One-Sandwich2149 — 26 days ago

Creative things to do with gift cards?

My brother's birthday is tomorrow (he's turning 19) and he really doesn't like material gifts, so I got him a bunch of gift cards he can use on his games and food when he's working.

I feel bad just handing him a stack of gift cards for his birthday, especially as he's always gotten really considerate gifts for everyone else. I'm just trying to respect his wishes, since he's been pretty adamant that if anyone is going to do anything, then just gift cards.

I need ideas on creative things I can do with the gift cards, preferably crafty and/or funny. He loves video games and politics, so I've been looking for ideas that I could turn into a gift card holder. I looked for cards as well, but they were all really cheesy and weird so he'd hate them.

My mother is doing a bouquet of snacks, drinks, helpful little things (he's working on a law degree) and gift cards for him, otherwise I was going to

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 1 month ago

My dog keeps staring at the air above my shoulder and biting at it, but theres nothing there

My 8 month old pitbull puppy, Junior, keeps obsessively staring above my shoulder and nipping at the air like there's something there. He will not stay off my lap (I'm in a desk chair, and he puts his paws up on my legs to reach that spot) and whines and cowers away when I don't let him bite the air. This is extremely abnormal for him, and it's making me really nervous.

I thought maybe there was a fly buzzing around, as it is that time of year, but I have checked constantly and watched the spot and don't see anything at all. And it's only my shoulder he watches like that, nothing else. Even when he's laying down, he's still staring at that spot, or when he gets up he watches the entire time he's walking by and keeps his ears pinned back like hes afraid.

There's a cool draft on that ear, too, even though its currently 75° and climbing and theres no fans on.

I lost my grandmother back in September of 2025, so I wonder if its not her trying to check on me. She always used to look at what I was doing over my shoulder and make some kind of joke or sit down with me and tell me stories for a while.

I miss her like crazy, and I really hope it is her, but I've also been having a *lot* of negative feelings and thoughts lately so I'm also worried it could be something malevolent.

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 1 month ago

Longfic writers, can you relate?

I've been watching the fic that was supposed to be maybe 30k words max, 5-10 chapters at the most get steadily larger and larger. It brings a weird mix of fear, joy, and adoration with it, and every time I see the total word count go up another 5k I feel giddy and anxious.

It started out as a self indulgent thing I was never going to publish, and it's currently sitting at ~64k words and 11 chapters, and a sequel getting planned.

It's an OC fic so I don't know whether I'll publish or not, but I'm pretty happy with the way it's turning out so we'll see.

Has anyone else had this happen before, and how's it going?

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 1 month ago

is it normal for nipples to wrinkle/pucker when I lift my arms?

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I'm 21, female anatomy, pronouns whatever, and I have a fairly high breast cancer risk, apparently? I have a growth on the right side that they're biospying in September, which they struggled to find because I have really dense breast tissue. The growth has been the same for almost a year, so they weren't super concerned, but if it's still there and still the same or bigger in September they're going to do the biopsy

I don't think I've ever noticed my nipples wrinkling like that before, but when I put my arms back down, they didn't go back to normal and felt pretty uncomfortable. I had to massage them to get them back to normal. I've been having a lot of unusual pain in the left side specifically, and wearing a bra is miserable

Am I being paranoid, or should I try to get my biopsy/ultrasound moved up?

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 1 month ago

What do you wish you saw MORE of in OC fics?

No bashing, please

What do you like in OC fics that you wish you saw more of? Or what makes an OC fic better to you?

I personally love OCs that seem like real people, if that makes sense. Flawed, but not totally helpless. Good at some things, and not everything.

I'm writing an OC X Canon that I'm worried is turning into a Mary Sue/self-insert so I'm also looking for inspiration for my editing, since my first draft is almost done

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 2 months ago

Not me getting a smut scene fully written just to realize it was also inaccurate 😫

Thankfully I'm only in my first draft, but I wrote the female character as having modern-day underwear instead of the ones that were accurate for the time period.

If it weren't for the specifics of the position/amount of clothing they were wearing (which I wasn't sure if it was plausible anyways) then I wouldn't be so frustrated. But now it just doesn't work.

I'm taking this as a lesson to do my research on period-accurate clothing before I start writing

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 2 months ago

Any groups or servers doing anything based off the ancients?

I've had a strong fascination with the Tribe of Rushing Water, both ancient and current recently, and I wanted to do something related to it. I have a concept idea in case there isn't one, but I haven't had much luck with activity in other servers so I was hesitant

Anyways if you know of one, or would be interested in one, please let me know

Preferably semi-lit to novella, and 18+ if possible

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 2 months ago
▲ 26 r/mash

Watching Abyssinia, Henry for the first time.

I'm already emotional and I'm watching MASH as my nightly therapy sesh, and of course I get to this episode. Wish me luck

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 2 months ago

Here's mine:

-Character A worshipping Character B like a deity. Religious themes tend to appear when I'm not trying, and I'm not religious.

-This may be just my struggles with characterizing, but both partners being similar enough to each other that they can predict the other easily

-already established relationships, or the characters at least knowing each other in some way beforehand

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 2 months ago

Hard to see in the pics but I just cleaned this sink just barely 2 hours ago, and one of my brothers not only left all kinds of dirt in the sink but water all over the mirror, counters, and floor

u/One-Sandwich2149 — 2 months ago

My dog just had an accidental litter and the puppies all look almost identical to each other.. so far there's 8 of them, and she's not showing any signs of being done yet. I wanted to be able to distinguish them in case they have any health issues, and also to track their weights. We thought about collars, but we think they're way too young for those.

The differences are extremely subtle, and we can't get up close enough to really figure it out yet (mama needs her space)

All 8 seem very healthy so far, and Mom is doing well, AND we have a vet aware of the birth and on standby. So no hate please

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u/One-Sandwich2149 — 2 months ago