u/Ordinary-Design-2622

Hypersensitive ako sa fat jokes ngayon. My kid is turning 2 years old and fat jokes are worse and all over the place.

Most painful to hear from my partner who is supposed to be my safe space.

From 55kg, I am now a whopping 85 kg after the baby.

Ang hirap. Laging day 1. I was on low carb diet for years. I fucking loved it! It was so effortless! And the fasting, MWAH, Chef’s kiss. Shit, I miss my calamansi-infused black coffee every morning. I didn’t even own a rice cooker until we lived together. I know how to do it…

But all- ALL OF THIS IS NOT HELPING: Weak finance situation because siya ang nagwowork ngayon for a month now. I let him do it, since for so many years ako lang lagi ang may trabaho. The jokes and the non-expert advice he is giving as if he is the expert of dieting - Mr Gout, couch-potato-sitting-mf. All the stress he causes. Like ang saya saya naming mag-ina but all of a sudden, somehow when he is home, incompetence and arrogance reeks from within our home.

Thank you, Lord, pinaalala mo sa akin kung bakit ko nga pala gustong hiwalayan tong gagong to. Nakakampante na naman kasi.

Fucking insensitive and emotionally-vapid mf who can’t spell shit even if his life depended on it.

I cried when he laughed. He laughed when I started filling up my Portion Plate that I am using for the first time. Yes, I cried. Why does his opinion still matter. Then I realized I am crying because I shouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. I don’t deserve this. I took care of the baby while working 8-5 and a gig on the side. All the disrespect, every time he threw me under the bus to save his sorry ass. And I cried for a good 30 minutes in the room while I can hear him mumbling shit at the table. I told him it hurts to hear insults from him. He snorted.

He doesn’t deserve me at my best. When that happens soon.

Lord, SALAMAT 🙏🏽

PS. I probably need an April Aries friend to remind the shit out of me every time 🤦🏽‍♀️ Becoming a mom has been so isolating…. *sigh

My kid’s surviving off snacks in the day and only eats proper meals at night. Also all of a sudden para siyang wrestler na gusto islaman palagi 🤦🏽‍♀️

He likes to hit people’s faces now too so discipline mode talaga.

And totoo pala, his favorite word now is NO. Naturuan naman mag-yes pero lahat ang sagot NO 😭😂

I realized how effortless it is to love your child as a mother... which makes me wonder, why couldn’t my mother ever bring herself to do the same for me?

I mean too late na at this point.

This is one thing that has been bothering me for months now since becoming a mom myself. Ang daling mahalin ng anak ko. Maliit pa sya, oo. But I find it soooo easy to prioritize him, make decisions around him, make him feel loved specially during difficult moments for him..

When he is confused, scared, or when he just wants to feel loved. Ang dali sobra. For so many people, even myself, ang hirap magmahal o kahit simple gestures to show you love someone.. ang hirap haha.

Pero sa anak ko? Tanggal angas talaga. Tanggal tapang. Yung mga bagay na hindi ko magawa or madrop before- I can now. All for him.

Tapos when I am gone, I freaking miss my child. I miss his smell. I miss the noises he makes. I miss the mess. I miss the cute little kisses and hugs. I miss being loved. Being the center of his world.

Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so pathetic. I just want to express how I am finding this all so easy.

So the big question again is.. bakit hindi magawa ng nanay ko yon? How can she easily just give me away? Ako yung bunso, sabi nila paborito ang bunso, why not me? Even as I grew older, I never even got one hug. Nothing. Zild. Why am I so unfamiliar to her? Like hindi ba dugtong ang puso at bituka namin?

Must be me.

My kid is turning 2 and I want to encourage more play but really difficult to do that in the city unless there are other kids to play with. And di too early pa for playschool.

Ok din sana kung may makalaro na kapitbahay kaso wala ding kids dito masydo and di sila lumalabas kung meron man :(

Di din naman araw araw makakasama nya yung 2 nyang nakakalaro. Yung iba may school, yung iba busy ang parents.

So I want to bring my kid to a park or playground where he can release all his play energy. We always go to Family Park pero baka may alam pa kayong places here.

I don’t like yung mga playground ng 3S kasi di well-maintained. Also wag muna sana yung mga indoor like Kidzoona or Fantasy World.

Just looking for recos ng mga mapupuntahan para makapaglaro and other moms are welcome to come with us too hehe para naman makapag playdate kids natin hehe

I let my 1-year old (22 months) watch YouTube on TV or laptop. Rarely sa phone kapag lang nasa labas and need talaga panoorin muna.

Limit din ang time. Max na ang 45 minutes. Tapos pag matutulog na lang, pinapanood ko siya ng songs and lullabies to sleep.

I don’t leave it on and sleep while he watches, pinapatay ko at some point kasi when I let that happen once, until 3AM hindi ko alam nanonood pa din siya.

Problem: his father and my in-laws let him watch Reels. Ilang beses ko na sinabi to please stop. Makulit sila. Malingat lang ako naka-reels na naman! Nakakaasar. Pero minsan mapapagod ka nalang mag-salita dahil sa kanila no big deal ang ganyan. Basta nanonood at masaya si LO. 🙄

These are the shows I let him watch-
Blippi
Ms Rachel
Diana and Roma
Super Simple Songs
Pinkfong (pero pili lang usually yung may songs at actions, paulit ulit na din kasi Baby Shark nila di na makaisip ng bago 😂)
Ms Tenny
Patty Shukla
Some Tagalog ones with Filipino Nursery Rhymes
Yakka Dee
Elmo’s World or Sesame Street

(minsan lang nya magustuhan) Bluey and Tiger Neighboorhood ba yun?

He can finish a whole show kahit 30 mins pa yan. Pero lately dahil sa punyetang reels na yan, ang bilis niya na magsawa sa isang show.

Palipat ng palipat. Iiyak pag bored na sya sa palabas. 5 minutes in gusto lipat na sa iba. Picky na din siya sa shows. Inaayawan niya na ang Yakka Dee or Super Simple Songs. Mas gusto niya yung brighter colors.

Questions:
May nakakaexperience ba nito?
What worked to help bring back a longer attention span?
What other shows can your recommend? Yung may malinaw na naguusap, may mouth movement, and/or play.

Minsan hinayaan ko siya manood, kahit magpapalit sya ng show di ko ginagawa. If nagtantrums na, pinapatay ko na yung laptop/TV and then talk to him. I’m consistent when it comes to talking with him kahit na 1 y/o lang sya.

BTW - I talk to him everyday, I read books to him, and listen to music together. We want to go out more to play and I’m finding ways for that na. Pero sa screen time, eto lang naman dilemma ko. He has a lot of words he knows na but can not construct sentences or phrases yet.

He says things like “wow car broom broom pot pot” or “cat meowww” and syempre yung favorite ng 2 year olds which is “NO”, and many more.

He can understand 3-4 word sentences like “no more paci” or “let’s go ligo” or “give mo kay Nanay”.

For months now, I have been asking my partner for separation.

My reasons:
- di sya tumatagal sa trabaho, laging may excuse.
- since the baby, he hasn’t been very nice to me. Iinsultuhin ang katawan ko, pag lalambingin galit, para syang napipilitan makipag bond sa akin. Once I got sick after taking care of everyone in the house na nagkasakit din including him, sabi ko massage mo naman kamay ko, he refused. Alam ko naman daw na pagod siya.
- wala ng acts of service. Dati hatid sundo pa ako nyan sa work, ngayon galit pa yan papahatid lang ako sa kanto. Magbibiro pa yan when I ask “why do you no longer do this for me?” And he says “e nakuha na kita e”. And he insists joke lang daw.
- I have been open to him about what I have been wanting for the longest time like “when I cry, please just hug me and I will calm down” Wala. Tatalikuran lang ako niyan mamaya tulog na
- cp sa banyo matagal, cp paguwi, cp hanggang matulog. Kailangan ko pa sabihin na laruin mo naman anak mo. Lalaruin saglit tapos papanoorin na ng reels. Which I have told him countless times wag panoorin ng reels.
- aayain ko mag date, lumabas, kahit tusok tusok lang.. ang daming excuses.
- my dealbreaker, wala na siyang respeto sa akin. He tells his friends so many mean things about me, even calls me names.
- he cares so much for his reputation. I should not tell a soul about us because “edi masama na tingin nila sakin” according to him. How about ako? Don’t you care how I think of you?
- ako ang nagwork samin even postpartum I had to get back to work kasi nga pinagbigyan ko siya sa mga ventures niya. Always helping out friends start their businesses mahina ang kita or minsan wala talaga. Bcos he said that I don’t trust him daw.
- he also chats girls online, nagpapapansin, nagaadd ng kung sino sino, maghehello siya, yung isa kinakamusta pa nya, pag nasa work ivivideo call niya
- the lies, all the liiiieees

And so many more..

I’ve had enough. I deserve better. I work, I get paid well, pinapasyal ko sila pati in laws ko at kapatid nya kasama pa, I lost so much bcos of him including myself, I sacrificed so much.. only to be met with lies and disrespect.

I told him many times na halata namang galit na galit siya sa akin. Hindi ko maitagalog ang resentment sa kanya but it’s that. He hates me. His definition of love is staying, that’s it. Di bale toxic basta mag stay pwede na yan. And again, it’s all about his reputation.

I am always always always troubled with so many advices. I mean people say leave him. And then some say “this made us even stronger” “i was about to leave him but he changed” “i did this and he changed” and all the stories of those old couples now.
Or some couples na may nag cheat na even countless times, nag stay pa din. Or when you see old couples tapos pangit treatment nung lalaki sa girl tapos tiniis lang kasi you’re supposed to stay and “always choose each other”.

Like it makes me think - “should i just endure this???” “So one day we might say, we worked through it all”

Hindi ko kaya to. If this is what they say marriage is then I don’t want it. I would rather be single.

And about my child? Don’t think na sarili ko lang iniisip ko dito. And don’t think na hindi ko naaappreciate o narerecognize ang good qualities ng asawa ko. He is a good father.

But like I said, mas ok na ang maghiwalay kami ngayon habang maliit pa si baby.

We have not been talking for days here at home. Sa sala ko na sya pinapatulog. I am still praying na sana maging malinis tong separation na to. Na he agrees to co-parent instead. He can be a father but he can’t fill the partner role for the longest time now. So magpakatatay na lang siya.

Sorry mga mi napahaba. Reddit na lang ang kaibigan ko.

PS I am scared. Terribly scared.

Besides nung nanganak ako syempre. I went back to work within a few months. Not bcos I want to but because ako yung provider sa amin ng partner ko. Mas mataas income ko. If I stop, maaapektuhan ang lifestyle namin.

Very hands on pa din naman ako kay baby nung may work ako. Ako in charge sa day shift, si partner sa gabi when I work.

And so now my baby is turning 2 soon, at eto na nga - burned out na ako sa work. Hindi ako tumatagal sa trabaho. Just got fired again 2 weeks ago. And masyado na din kasi comfortable ang partner ko sa setup namin. Sinabi ko na sakanya noon pa na pagod na ako and want to rest. Siya naman.

I forced him back to work. Kahit maliit ang income, may naiuuwi naman siya daily. Enough for the bills but he is doing his mighty best.

For 2 weeks now, kami lang ng anak ko sa bahay. It’s been fun syempre. Pero struggling ako on so many things.

- I want to play with my kid pero pucha ang init ng weather. Wala na kami sa subdivision at di na pwede mag play at magpagod sa labas.
- It’s dinner time soon. Ang hirap pala mag-isip ng lulutuin every damn day.
- I want to keep my child active but going out can be expensive; and staying in tapos inviting friends with kids over quickly consumes our grocery lol magastos din hehe
- Linis ako ng linis. Ayos ng ayos. Then I rest, look around, and I think of another thing to organize/clean/declutter. (w Inattentive ADHD)
- I don’t have a lot of friends anymore. Lahat may anak na din, nagasawa, nasa malayo, busy. Ang friends ko na lang ngayon alak lang ang alam na bonding. Ayoko naman uminom nalang lagi. I
- I thought punta ako sa friends ko kaso their places are not suitable for a 1-y/o toddler. Like last time, I traveled hours to a friend only for her to smoke weed within the same room as my child. I left that same night. May relatives naman partner ko who adores my child kaso I find their place very unhygienic - dog pee and fur everywhere, even beside the bed OR on the bed. Hindi ako maarte, promise. Iniisip ko lang ang bata. Cowboy naman ako but I can never sacrifice my kid’s health and comfort. Di baleng sa sahig ako matulog, wag lang ang anak ko.

And now I am now realizing why I like to work - grabe utak ko. Isip ng isip ng isip ng isip. Non-stop. I want to keep busy. Nakakasawa magdoom-scroll. I want to be productive.

I want to start a business ulit because last time I did well but I am kinda scared to do it alone at home with a toddler.

And I am super grateful btw. I want to make this count for myself and my child. Kung ako lang sana, aba doomscroll all day, go! But I want my kid to be stimulated. Use this time to learn and play. On the brighter side, napagluluto at medyo naaasikaso ko na partner ko. Hindi lang din sanay hehe

Btw I say mahirap maging SAHM hindi lang dahil sa reasons ko but for many other na di ko na diniscuss dito. For instance, grabe ang isolation..

Tldr - first time kong maging full-time housewife - wala akong maiso na magawa, hirap magisip ng lulutuin, may gustong gawin pero magastos, may gustong puntahan pero hindi comfortable sa anak ko hehe

I have so much time lol not too much but I am up and alive. Let’s play codm!

Keep it platonic and sfw thank you so much!

I have so much time lol not too much but I am up and alive. Let’s play codm!

Keep it platonic and sfw thank you so much!

I have so much time lol not too much but I am up and alive. Let’s play codm!

Keep it platonic and sfw thank you so much!

or play codm at wag na mag work?

De joke. Anything under the sun siguro. Idk. Let’s check the vibes via chat first? Bahala na haha

Let’s keep it SFW

I am not 100% sure this is the right sub…

I want to give an anon tip to the right authorities of illegal drug activity in my area. I have googled numbers to PNP and PDEA. But some here might have better suggestions.

I was thinking an SMS from a new SIM or a new email address. Or if anyone has experience doing so? How’d you do it while protecting your anonymity?

Location: Northern Metro Manila

coming from Valenzuela City 🫶🏽

And noting that I have a 1-year old with me. Grab is an option but I wonder if there is a straight bus trip from here to there. Yung dirediretso na lang or at least minimal transfer lang.

Tricy and taxi is OK in between. Pero no jeeps or FX bcos baby hehe 🙅🏽‍♀️

Update: someone suggested bus from Mento to Ayala. Sakay sa One Ayala ulit ng bus pa Festi.

Meron bang nakakaalam if yung VGC merong diretso na don? (Fuck habang byahe non hahahuhu)

Edit: also mukang mag LRT ako para maexperience ni baby? Saturday naman yun, I will travel during non-busy hours, hopefully

So I have lots of picture frames, hanging clothes hook, just a LOT of stuff I need to mount on the wall.

I have asked my partner a thousand times but he never once did it. We are 4 months in our new apartment and wala pa ding nadidikit sa walls. My kid broke 2 TVs already kasi nakapatong lang sa bangko even though the TV wall mount has been ready for ages.

I have seen some videos from YT and TT pero kasi I am mostly an active, kinesthetic learner… so here are my questions and what I think the answers are:

• can I buy a decent cordless drill for ₱1000 or less? Or mga madaling masira ang mabibili ko? Wala ako plano ipahiram, I don’t plan on big projects, just a quick tool I can pull out when needed.

• do you have a reco product? I am overwhelmed with so many options and affiliate videos online tapos di ko pa sure kung accurate pinagsasabi nung iba, makabenta lang. Feel free to share links 🙏🏽

• if my projects are mostly mounting things on concrete walls or small woodworking projects, do I need a drill or a hammer drill? I think hammer drill, right?

• what are your life hacks for collecting dusts or clean up when drilling? I’ve seen a few online pero like I said, I am so overwhelmed and overstimulated na. I have probably saved hundreds of videos I have not seen entirely.

• out of topic: I have shelves made out of marine plywood ata tawag don? May parang wood design sya tapos smooth. So kailangan ko ba muna sya iliha kung gusto ko sya pinturahan ng all white? Or kahit wag na? Diretso paint nalang?

• medyo intimated pa ako sa ibat ibang drill bits huhu. Pero ang nagets ko is pag may flat na metal sya sa dulo pang-concrete yun, at pag pointy pang wood.

🙇🏽‍♀️ Thank you so much!!!

Problem/goal: I want to end my relationship with my partner, kick him out of the house, and have him agree to co-parent (specially now na 1 year old palang si baby kesa he grows up and still sees us like this)

Context: I can take all day telling you our problems but I really don’t want to burden anyone with our marital issues as common as anyone’s. Long story short, the man absolutely hates me. I hate him but I still have this faint hope that he’d one day change and treat me (and himself) better. Wala eh. Walang plano. He lies all the time. Burned so many bridges with friends. Won’t hold a job.

Hindi ko lang talaga siya mapaalis at this exact moment like really force him to go kasi we have a 1 year old that he still helps with. And ako yung may trabaho. Minsan magbibigay siya from doing sidelines. But hey, I have told him a hundred times! It’s not about the money. I do not care that he doesn’t make much. What I am worried is that he does not care enough to try and make more. He slacks off. He is lazy. Even referred him to work for some friends but he did so bad I had to apologize on his behalf too.

It’s just that it feels like I have some random adult here that I have to feed and remind basic manners every single day, who also acts nice kapag need umi-score.

This is not love.

This is not the marriage the boomers brag about and so I have to endure today.

This isn’t going to end well kahit ano pang antay o gawin ko.

I don’t deserve this. I have helped him so many times to do better, treat himself better. I am not perfect but I really do not deserve this. I would rather be single than have this kind of relationship.

Kahit mag-glow up ako, I don’t want to give him my best version of myself.

Previous attempts: dinaan ko na sa lambing, sa drama, sa sigawan, sa seryosong usapan, once even my therapist was giving advice na (she also specialized in rels).. walang napaguusapan, magsosorry tapos ganon lang din ulit, paulit ulit ulit ulit, we’be probably gone to extremes like our last fight involved a little sakitan na. I don’t want anything worse than that.

I just want this to end as peacefully as possible. He leaves. We become friends maybe while we co-parent. I really care for my in-laws and don’t want my son to lose them.

How did it end?

Did you have to go through absolute extremes?

How difficult was it?

How did this affect your child?