u/Particular_Home_6455

It's a hot summer where I live. I work at a garden store, so naturally, the store itself is also pretty warm. So, of course, we sell drinks at the front of the store in order to quench our poor customers' thirst.

A woman wanted some sprite. We sell all the basic sodas, sprite being one of them, so when she asked if we had regular sprite, I pointed her towards the fridge.

"But this sprite is lemon-lime! It's not normal sprite!"

I looked at her and said "uh.. that's the default sprite flavor?"

"No it's not. Sprite is sprite flavored."

I've been drinking sprite my whole life and I'm fairly certain it has always been lemon-lime flavored.

I didn't even know how to handle it at that point. I just shrugged and asked if she still wanted it. She did. She didn't open it while she was there, but I really wish I could've been there when she figured out it tasted like regular sprite.

Hey y'all! I'm hopefully not going to sound like an asshole in this, but if I am being an ass then please tell me.

I have this friend, let's call him Shane, that I met in a class a couple of years ago. We met because he randomly DMed me on discord from a server dedicated to a minor we were both pursuing in college. He seemed to be hitting on me (it was a program with not as many women, but definitely still enough of us) but he backed off when he found out I was taken and still wanted to be friends.

At the time, I had an extremely active social life. Since becoming so disabled I don't get out much, but I still wake up to 12+ people sending me things on a daily basis (instagram reels, morning check ins, etc). I don't want to sound like woe is me because I love my friends, but I dont text everyone back and dont like being texted daily because it is overwhelming for me to respond, especially with my limited energy. I like to put actual thought into a conversation so I'm not one for daily one offs- if I had to tell everyone how my day was then I'd never have a life outside of my phone!! I touch too much grass (my garden is a lot of work, I am a founder of a local cat rescue, I work, etc etc).

When we hung out in person, he used to want to meet all of my friends to be their friends and he was so happy to meet so many people through me since I was pretty popular in college. I could tell he was lonely and he constantly complained about how his other friends dont want to hang out every day or text every day and they were bad friends- i tried explaining that he may get similar from me as well because I simply did not have the time to text back every day. I literally couldn't. I was a large club president pursuing a major and three minors while running a cat rescue, taking overloaded classes, and participating in all of the fun campus events. I'm just really not one to stay in the digital world unless I'm sick.

He celebrated Easter with my family because he told me his family wasnt celebrating that year. He became weirdly obsessed with my cousin (11 at the time) and wanted to play games with her on switch, which made me pretty uncomfortable. He said that he just missed having contact with his younger siblings so I brushed it off, but in retrospect I still find it very strange. My aunt was uncomfortable with it and he was not allowed back at any family events. I was trying to be kind and it totally backfired and then I became the cousin who brought a weird guy around.

I go months without talking to a lot of people and then we catch up like it's nothing. I've tried telling him that's how I do it before and he seemed to get upset every time- but I dont understand why he feels he deserves more of my time than even my childhood best friends.

I began to find his self loathing exhausting. He constantly talked about how he would never have a girlfriend, couldn't stop being overweight, how ugly he is, etc etc. He started making threesome and throuple jokes about my fiance and I and I nervously played along at first but it started getting too far, especially when he started to send selfies and ask if he looks like my fiance. But again, he literally only has a few other friends and I didnt want to just abandon him and I believe I did eventually tell him it was getting a little too far. My family thought they could be brothers but to me they look nothing alike, as I find my fiance incredibly attractive and I am not at all attracted to Shane.

He graduated by making his group in his capstone feel bad enough to do his work. It seems like that might just be how he operates- make himself seem too pathetic to abandon. I feel like an asshole just saying that because I know he struggles with depression and it doesnt seem fair to abandon someone struggling like that, especially because I struggled with depression for most of my life and still do on occasion.

So I reached back out recently because in spite of not wanting to talk daily because I dont hate the guy or anything and I still try to check up on all of my friends periodically. He asked what I've been up to and I said I started streaming again, so he asked to stream together. He's not a streamer and has never streamed before and frankly I have no interest in including anyone but my fiance on there. His response was "awe okay" and it made me feel guilty for not just trying even though I dont want to.

Then I told him I was in a new d&d campaign and he asked why he wasnt invited. Its a friend group that he absolutely doesn't know and it's a women's only campaign, so I expressed that- but what could I have said if it wasnt women only without him getting upset? I feel rude saying this but I feel like it's weird of him to just immediately tell me he wants to be included in everything I tell him that I'm doing. And now he is texting me good morning every morning and I just dont do that with anyone. The only person I talk to first thing in the morning is my fiance when we're getting ready for work. I don't even keep Snapchat streaks.

I have no idea how to navigate this without emotionally destroying him because he is very sensitive. I used to try and give him advice when he'd ask why women didnt want him but he really wasn't receptive to being told that eating taco bell every day, gaming, and randomly DMing women you have classes with isn't the way to go. It had to be some other factor outside of his control- so I gave up. His mom seemed to like that I was trying to be realistic with him and told him I was being a good friend, but he's a bit at odds with his mom so I don't think that was a good thing.

I feel guilty for not finding a way to include him in things I'm doing but he lives 4 hours away and I'm getting uncomfortable with him suggesting he should have been invited every time. I haven't responded to his good morning text this morning.

I feel shitty because it seems like he wants me to give the same amount that he does, but he has way less going on in his life so of course he can give more. Its easy to text your friends daily when you have like 4 of them and a part time job with no other hobbies but gaming.

I dont know if this means I should stop being friends with him or try another approach. I would really appreciate any insight or advice because I want to be a better friend while respecting my own boundaries and I dont know how to do that. And yes, I've talked to him before about me not texting all the time. Haven't known how to talk to him about his "I should have been invited!" responses to things with people he doesnt know, and he really doesnt know any of my current friends. He just knew my old church friends and some other friends who don't like him so I definitely couldn't invite him to anything with them. He wants me to be his social life instead of making his own but I dont even know how he could make irl friends with where he lives so...

I want it to be known that I do genuinely care about his wellbeing. Ive done a lot of complaining but he made me and his other friends valentines day cards that were funny and hand drawn, he genuinely cares about my wellbeing too, etc. Thats why this is so hard- I cant pinpoint anything specific that makes him a "bad" friend to justify cutting him off.

Tl;dr: clingy friend is disappointed when I dont text daily and wants to be included in everything I do despite not knowing the other people involved. I want to be a better friend and I dont know if that means ending the friendship or trying again to talk it out. TIA!

Exactly as title says. I cant sleep more than 30 minutes at a time without waking up to puke and then unable to sleep again. Been halfway living in the shower. Been in the hospital for 4 days and they still can't find any single drug to stop the nausea and vomiting, and pain medicine makes those even worse. I just need to hear that it's going to get better. In the past week I have only had a bowl of macaroni.