u/PoeticPeacenik

So I'm disabled so I don't work at an in-person or regular job, but I do earn money doing surveys on my phone. And guess what!! I redeemed for a $100 Mastercard from MyPoints last Friday, and I was so worried I wouldn't get it before the sale ends (especially since yesterday was the 4th of July aka Independence Day in the US and I live in the US), but guess what!!! I got the card today and was able to place an order today!!!! 🥳🙌

This time, I ordered the maladaptive daydreaming bunny and a plushie keychain.

But now I'm a little bit worried about receiving the wrong item since I saw a post from someone who received the wrong item, despite receiving the right item my first time ordering and despite only seeing one post about such an issue thus far. But there was a reason my first plushie was the anxiety rabbit lmao (because I worry a lot about stuff, even small stuff, and even if the fear is irrational or unlikely to happen). But can someone reassure me so I don't worry for 2 or 3 weeks lol?

Because of my disability, I still live with my controlling parents who infantalizes me. So if I got the wrong item, my mom isn't gonna let me send it back for an exchange because "it'll cost too much to send it back" and I'd hate to spend another $80+ to buy the same item(s) again to risk another mix up. I ordered the maladaptive daydreaming bunny specifically because of my connection to that specific one due to my own daydreaming which I have difficulty controlling especially after a daydream starts and because my connection to the characters inside my head. In fact, I'm thinking of naming the maladaptive daydreaming bunny after one of my characters, who is very special to me in my inner world. I don't usually name my plushies, but this one'll be special.

I just placed my second order today, so it'll be a while before I get it, but meanwhile, I'm worried I'll be getting the wrong item when it arrives.

Sorry, my anxiety/brain is making me worry ever since I saw that other person's post. When I see something, sometimes that'll put stuff in my head, although I did worry a little while I was waiting on my first item, but I didn't worry as much. And yes, I got the right item the first time I ordered. So I hope my anxiety/brain is just doing some overthinking this time, and that's all it is. 🙏

I'm not sure if I use the right flair. Sorry if I didn't. But where does Switzerland stand when it comes to these laws that would require identification to use social media and the broader internet?

I'm an American. The KIDS act just passed the senate or house (I can't remember which) in the US. Other measures have been passed or proposed in Canada, Australia, the UK, and several other places. This is so weird and strange that so many countries are passing the same law or a similar law, almost as if something is up or something is about to go down. Very sus.

I'm aware that Switzerland is not a part of the EU and that Switzerland has a history of protecting its citizens' privacy. In fact, many trusted and great VPNs come from there, and it's also the home of ProtonMail.

So where do Switzerland stand in all this? Is Switzerland gonna pass these kinds of laws too or will we still be able to turn to Switzerland via VPN to avoid handing over our ID to social media giants or third-party companies that'll be caught up in a data breach before we know it? Will the Swiss government at least stand up for the people of these other countries and warn these other countries' governments about the dangers of these laws, especially in the event of a data breach? Maybe the Swiss government can help fight these laws? After all, authorities from other countries have gotten involved with unjust laws in other countries before (using legal proceedings and advocacy). Any Swiss activists fighting this?

If Switzerland passes these laws too, then there goes my last hope. The world will be fucked then.

Most people in the US and other countries and across the political spectrum oppose these laws, but in case anyone's still confused and wondering, "What's the problem?" ⬇️

These laws are a huge privacy violation and just a way to put us all under surveillance, so governments can track us. This could lead to governments using this against people who say things they don't like, which brings me to the next concern.

These laws are a danger to free speech and even freedom of expression. Many people say the ulterior motive is to suppress free speech and freedom of expression, and I agree.

These laws will exclude anyone who doesn't have ID from social media or the broader internet (if it includes the broader internet), including adults who are sheltered, homebound, disabled, etc. Adults whose only socialization, communication, and support group comes from social media or the internet. Many people also say the ulterior motive is to keep people in the dark about what happening in the world around them (people who don't have ID or people who don't feel comfortable handing over their ID), and I agree.

And data breaches. It's probably my biggest concern. Remember the Tea app data breach and the Discord data breach that happened recently? Imagine all these countries passing laws requiring everyone (millions or billions of people) to hand over their ID and the more frequent and larger data breaches that will follow? That is the most massive data breach to date, just waiting to happen. Such data breaches could lead to IDs being leaked and posted to sketchy websites and apps like 4chan and Telegram, which could then lead to irl harm, stalking, gender-based violence, political violence, etc.

And there's fucking rape "academies" on Telegram and men teaching other men how to drug and rape women and how to get away with it and the last thing we need are laws requiring people to hand over their IDs so that they can end up on the same website or app as these rape "academies." That is not a good look on the politicians and lawmakers passing these laws or on anyone supporting these laws, fyi. Multiple countries, by the way, are currently investigating online groups where men are teaching men how to drug and rape women without getting caught.

If your government in Switzerland is considering proposing similar laws, please bring these concerns to their attention and mention the very real data breaches and rape "academies" that have been in the news recently and remind them of their history of and their commitment to protecting your privacy.

The title ⬆️ Especially considering tomorrow is 4th of July.

I know today is the last day of the summer sale, and I wouldn't have the money before the day ends. So I was wondering when the next sale might be?

The anxiety rabbit, tie dye limited edition. And I'm so happy with my bun. 💕 She's so cute and small (smaller than I expected/imagined, but I like that because it means she'll take up less space). I plan on buying the maladaptive daydreaming bunny next, but I'm not sure when.

I was also pleased with the extra goodies (totebag, PTSD pen, and the stickers). I was actually surprised to receive the stickers because I removed them from my cart, but only because I wasn't able to apply the welcome discount at checkout unless I removed the stickers from the cart. So I was surprised and happy when I opened my package today to see that I still got the stickers. 😁 (so thank you to Plushie Dreadfuls for still sending me my stickers ❤️🤗)

I have a couple of questions. Any suggestions for what I can do with the stickers? I mean I don't want to put them on something that's gonna eventually be replaced (like a laptop or a folder that will eventually get worn out). I want to put the stickers on something that I'll always have, so I'll always have the stickers as well. Any suggestions?

And I haven't taken off the tags yet from my bun. But I was debating on whether or not to take them off or leave them on like a collector's item (even if I don't plan on getting rid of my bun). I don't plan on cuddling or sleeping with her because I don't want her worn or torn. So she'll sit next to my bed and I'll hold her and pet her sometimes for the sensory satisfaction and to feel less alone when I'm anxious or worried. But I noticed most people take the tags off (and usually I do as well as most of my plushies don't have their tags except for a very recent teddy bear I got from etsy and it just didn't cross my mind to take the tag off it). But after finding out the value that some things are worth years later, I'm wondering now if I should keep tags on some or most of my plushies when I order any lol (especially name brands like Plushie Dreadfuls or Build-a-Bear, etc). Again, even if I don't plan on getting rid of anything (I can get very attached to things lol). Thoughts?

As a disabled/neurodivergent adult who still lives at home with my parents and doesn't have access to my own documents, I'm worried about what these laws mean for me. I am very sheltered, and because my parents are very overprotective and paranoid, I don't get out of the house to socialize or make friends, and I'm unable to do anything with my life. So the internet (social media, specifically) is my socialization, and my support group and provides the only thing I'm able to do with my life (unbeknownst to my parents) which is posting my writing online (it makes me feel like a real writer and gives me some confidence in myself). If I wasn't in my situation and could make friends irl and go to in-person poetry readings, I absolutely would.

But the effects these laws will have on disabled and neurodivergent adults who are still living at home with their parents is a side of this whole thing that isn't talked about enough. We talk about privacy, censorship, and free speech, and rightfully so, because those things are very important. But I don't think some people think about the sheltered disabled and neurodivergent adults whose only socialization may be social media and whose only fulfillment in life is posting writing or art online and sharing it with the world. And many of these adults may not have IDs or if they do, they may not have access to them as their parents may have them.

I have an ID. But for many of my adult years, I didn't because my mom didn't think I needed one because she sees me as a kid and because I live with her and I never leave the house without her (because she doesn't let me). But even now, I still worry about whether or not she'll renew it when the time comes. By the way, it stays in her possession. But I'd be scared to hand over my ID to a social media site anyway for the same reasons as most people (data breaches, the risk of my ID being leaked and posted on some sketchy site, etc.) but also because I rely on anonymity to keep my mom from finding out about my social media pages or from finding out certain stuff about me (not bad stuff but we just wouldn't see eye to eye on certain viewpoints and such). And it wouldn’t be a good idea to have my real identity attached to any of my social media pages or my pen name (especially because of the situation I'm in). And I'm not doing anything wrong. I just want to socialize, make friends, and share my writing with the public so I can feel like a real writer.

If I have to leave social media or many of the apps that I use for communication, then I'm gonna lose a lot of friends and I'll have to stop posting my writing online and I'll be even more sheltered than I already am.

I hope I don't get any hate for this post. I posted in the vent sub earlier about my situation (I didn't mention anything about the ID laws that I can remember) and got some hate or comments that were less than supportive or understanding. People just don't understand disabled or neurodivergent adults, especially those in a situation like mine.

Please be kind. ☮️ ❤️🙏

I still live at home because I'm a disabled/neurodivergent adult. My mom thinks just because she gets things confused and mistakes things that others will too. Just because she's a dummy doesn't mean everyone else is. That's like seeing me as a kid. She thinks because she sees me as a kid that everyone else does too, which is why she wouldn't let me walk into a liquor store when she bought some liquor that's supposed to be good for colds (she said I'm a "youngin" to them and I'm like "no, I'm a youngin to you and you think everyone else sees things the same as you do". (FYI, total strangers aren't gonna know my medical history; all they see is a woman and a lot of non-disabled and neurotypical adults still lives at home so living with parents arent an indicator that someone is disabled or neurodivergent). Plus even minors can walk into liquor stores, they just can't buy liquor until they're 21. But she thinks disabled or neurodivergent adults can't drink alcohol. FYI, the 21+ is about physical age, not mental age. But try telling her that lmao.

Anyway, I remember one day overhearing my stepdad trying to explain to her that changing the clocks doesn't make it get darker outside (this was about daylight savings time). Total Ricky moment and no, she's never seen that show. But she's like a female and mom version of Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Omgosh, how Ricky reminded me of her when I was watching that show. Some of the stuff he said and asked was so HER. She won't even let me wear a scarf over my head in public because she thinks people will mistake me for a Muslim or a bandana because she thinks people will mistake it for gang affiliation, and it won't even be a Muslim hijab or gang colors that I'd be wearing (just because SHES ignorant and confuses shit, she thinks everyone will confuse shit too and that everyone else is dumb asf like she is).

She also gets New Mexico confused with Mexico and thinks you're talking about Mexico when you mention New Mexico.

I'm honestly tempted to tell I'd rather be trafficked than live with her since she's so overprotective and always talking about evil the world is and how dangerous it is out there. Maybe telling her that will piss her off enough to actually kick me out and not care about "how evil the world it is." Before anyone gets offended or mad, we've all said some stupid shit when we get super pissed or to get under someone's skin. And if you get mad or offended, then that's the point and the point is to say it to make my mom mad or to offend her, but enough where she kicks me out despite seeing me as a "vulnerable" adult. Kinda like an "I'll show you" reaction or "if you think that's worse than living here, then get out" reaction.

If you're not an adult in my situation, don't judge me. Sheltered and infantalizing disabled and neurodivergent adults should be taken just as seriously as sexual and physical abuse since it can also cause distress, depression, and trauma and basically devalues the person and strips them of their autonomy. If you wouldn't tell a sexual abuse or physical abuse victim to "Shut up" or dismiss them when they speak out, then don't do it to me.

Requiring everyone to upload IDs (like some places are already doing) puts the rest of us at risk of data breaches, which could mean our IDs being leaked and posted on sketchy sites like 4chan and Telegram. "Age verification" laws puts women in danger, violates the autonomy of disabled adults who may not have access to their IDs or who may not have IDs at all, and enables incels who will have access to women's leaked IDs. Not to mention it does away with online anonymity, which puts stalking victims in danger and others who are hiding from people for their own safety. Fuck "age verification" laws.

If you support these "age verification" laws at a time when violence or hatred against women is at an all-time high, then that's very telling and very sus. And many of the violence, hate, and incel rhetoric are teenagers being brainwashed by Andrew Tate. So you're wanting to pass laws to protect the next generation of incels and women-haters while requiring everyone (including women) to hand over their IDs so they can end up in the hands of incels.

But I see how violence against women is dismissed or downplayed on Instagram when women-haters are asking for rapists and murderers who killed or raped women to be released from prison just because they killed a child killer/rapist. It shows just how little women are valued or thought of in society. So many people in society are willing to throw women under the bus or to the wolves. I even saw some comments from those same people literally saying they don't care about women because women ruin men's lives, but they care about the children (they didn't say boys, they said children which means boys and girls). Hello?! Then why do you care about children then? You do realize those children (the girl children) are future women who are, according to *your* logic, gonna ruin men's lives when they reach adulthood/womanhood someday. You know the argument that pro-lifers only care about babies until they're born? This is the equivalent: caring about little girls until they/we turn 18 then "you're on your own because fuck you." If you support passing laws to "protect the kids" that could put women in danger (like these "age verification" laws) then that is the equivalent of caring about little girls until they turn 18 then telling them "You're on your own now, fuck you. Hand over your ID so it can end up on 4chan."

And the worst part? Some feminists supporting these laws even after they're told about the risks these laws can pose to women. Feminists should be the first ones to oppose these laws. Please don't support laws that put women at risk and could further violate the autonomy of disabled and neurodivergent adults.

Does anyone else find comfort or euphoria in their daydreaming even if it's maladaptive?

And does anyone else create characters in your head that are basically people with qualities and traits that you don't have in your life but wish you had? Like creating a friend who loves you unconditionally no matter what you say or do and who is very patient with you and very understanding and sees you as a little sister to protect (kinda like they "adopted" you) because that's the kind of friend you wish you had but don't have.

I had a so-called friend block me because I told him I had OCD (which I genuinely do suspect because of my brain's behavior and patterns), but I'm not diagnosed. And instead of being understanding and supportive or compassionate, he said bullshit and told me I don't have OCD (which sounds like gaslighting to me) and then proceeded to block me. How does he (or anybody) know what I have and what I don't have? Nobody has my mind and brain but me. Nobody knows what I struggle with or the effects my brain has on me and my activities. If I remember correctly, I think I even mention my situation about my mom not taking me seriously and not taking me to get diagnosed so he responded that way knowing that that is how my mom is with me (dismissing me, not taking me seriously) and knowing about my situation (I'm a disabled adult still living with my parents and I don't drive).

So now I don't say I have OCD. I just say "my intrusive thoughts, repetitive behavior, and anxiety" when I talk about struggling with my brain. But silencing a sufferer because they're not diagnosed is cruel as fuck and so is cutting off a friendship of someone who is struggling and calling their suffering bullshit instead of being there as a friend and showing compassion and empathy. A diagnosis just confirms what you already suspect. Not being diagnosed doesn't make the problem non-existent, and it doesn't make it go away or lessen the suffering/struggling.

Also how is a person supposed to seek out online support groups if they're not supposed to say "I have xyz" unless they have an official diagnosis or if they get hate for saying "I have xyz" without having an official diagnosis?? Just suffer alone and in silence, huh?

I should have responded by asking him if it's bullshit and if I don't have OCD, then why does it cause me so much sadness and anguish and frustration, and why do I want to hurt myself over it sometimes?? Not to mention, it discourages me and makes me want to give up on things. But it was brought to my attention later on by somebody else that what I'm experiencing (intrusive thoughts, repetitive behavior, etc.) could actually be anxiety and not OCD. But the effects of whatever it is are still the same. Sadness, anguish, frustration, wanting to hurt myself, discouragement, giving up on stuff, etc.

Thank you to the mods for accepting my request to join this sub. :)

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I was gonna post asking for recommendations on what bunny to get (my first time buying a Plushie Dreadful), but I've already ordered the anxiety rabbit (since I have anxiety).

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So my new question is, how long did it take you guys to get your plushies? Especially if you live in the USA?

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But I do plan on buying a second plushie, and I'm leaning heavily towards the maladaptive daydreaming one since I'm a maladaptive daydreamer.

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But I was gonna ask for recommendations since I have a few different conditions (anxiety, maladaptive daydreaming, restless legs syndrome), and I wanted just the ones that resonate with me due to the conditions I have. Especially since I can't afford to buy too many to start a collection, nor do I have the space for that lol. I also have signs and symptoms that points toward OCD but it was brought to my attention that that could be anxiety (including my intrusive thoughts and repetitive behavior), which I know I have because of how I worry and freak out very easily and quickly and over the smallest things that turns out to be so small. I always think the worst thing about things (even get panicky) and then feel stupid afterward.

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But anyway, I'm still leaning towards the maladaptive daydream bunny. But what do others recommend?

I posted this in the AskParents sub, but it was removed so I'm posting it here since this is a FASD sub. But for context, I'm a neurodivergent adult with FASD, and I still live at home with my overprotective, controlling parents (they're my adoptive parents, not my biological parents). When I post or complain about my situation or controlling parents, some people do side with me since I'm an adult but there's always people who also side with my parents and respond to me as if I'm in the wrong for wanting to be a normal adult or as if I'm a teenager who thinks they're grown rather than a literal adult who is grown. And I don't understand those people. And yes, I always mention that I'm an adult when I post about my situation.

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And people who knows us in real life absolutely sides with my parents and sees my mom as a selfless mom who took me in and sees me as being in the wrong just for wanting to live like everyone else my age (just for wanting to fall in love or pursue my dreams I've had since high school). But my mom taking me in is literally why I'm not allowed to live a normal adult life (why I'm not married, why I don't have kids of my own, why I didn't get to go to college, why I didnt get to pursue any of my dreams) because I was raised by someone who sees disabled/neurodivergent adults as "forever children" and who doesn't believe disabled/neurodivergent adults should be treated equal. I understand not all parents are like this because a lot of parents treat their disabled/neurodivergent adult kids as equal adults and don't stop them from doing any of those things. Anyone can take in and raise someone else's child and anyone can give birth to a child and raise said child, but not every parent keeps that child from being an adult once the child turns 18 (even if the child is disabled or neurodivergent). There's so many people I see online with Downs Syndrome and Autism who are doing amazing things with their lives (some are even married or own their own business) because they were raised by parents who didn't force them to be identified by just their disability and who saw past just a disability.

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Also taking in and raising someone's else's child shouldn't give you a free pass to shelter and infantalize the child once they become an adult and then they're seen as "ungrateful" because they're mad you won't let them grow up. If taking in and raising someone else's child doesn't give a parent a free pass to be sexually abusive or physically abusive because "at least they took you in and raised you and put a roof over your head" then it shouldn't give a parent a free pass to shelter and infantalize a disabled/neurodivergent adult. And yes, I see sheltering and infantalizing disabled/neurodivergent adults as another form of abuse (and I'm not the only one who thinks that way) because it can cause trauma, depression, and other issues just like sexual and physical abuse can. After all, we're talking about not letting an adult grow up and everything that comes with that (their freedoms and rights taken away and forcing them to let go of their dreams and not giving them autonomy and agency). We're not talking about telling teenagers (who can do what they want when they're 18 anyway) what to do, which is normal. And I don't care that the intention is good. The road to hell is paved with good intentions and what should matter is what it does to someone mentally and emotionally. In other words, if taking someone in and raising them doesn't outweigh sexual or physical abuse, then taking someone in and raising them shouldn't outweigh sheltering and infantalizing them once they turn 18 and especially not when they're well over 21.

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I even had someone in the Christianity sub tell me one time, "Shut up, you're just mad you can't do whatever you want," as if they were responding to a teenager who thinks they're grown instead of a literal adult that is grown (yes, I mentioned I'm an adult in my post) or as if I'm mad because I can't be a whore and do drugs. 1) I'm a literal adult and adults are supposed to be able to do whatever they want within reason and as long as they're not hurting anyone or doing anything illegal (why you think teenagers can't wait to turn 18?) and 2) you know what, I am mad I can't do whatever I want because not being able to do whatever I want means not being able to experience falling in love since my mom won't let me date (even if I was to date a fellow neurodivergent person), not being able to vote (which is supposed to be a human right for Americans), not being able to follow and pursue my dreams I've had since high school (which includes being a professional poet, freelance journalist, and documentary filmmaker and yes those are things I still want to do to this day). I'm literally not able to do anything with my life or make anything of myself because my mom doesn't want or allow me to grow up and when I do stuff behind her back (such as posting poetry online behind her back), some people judge me for that as if there's something wrong with me wanting to do something with my life or make something of myself (knowing full well that if I ask her, she'll say no and then if I "obey" her, I'll just continue feeling like my life is empty with no purpose or meaning).

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If you wouldn't tell a sexual abuse victim or physical abuse victim to "Shut up, you just don't want to be molested or raped" or "Shut up you just don't want to be beat," then don't tell a literal adult that's complaining about parents who won't let them live a normal adult life with dreams and aspirations "Shut up, you just mad you can't do whatever you want."

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And before anyone says something about how I'm living under her roof, it is not by choice. She doesn't even want me to move out and if I tried, she'd accuse me of being "ungrateful" and "stabbing her in the back" because she's my adoptive mom and she'd see me as a kid moving out because I don't want to follow her rules after everything she's done for me instead of seeing me as a literal adult moving out because I want to be independent and be like everyone else my age.

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I also feel like even people with other disorders or disabilities (like Autism or Down Syndrome) don't fully know or understand what it's like to have a disability or disorder that was literally caused by another person's actions, and neurotypical and non-disabled people certainly don't understand because when you blame your mom (in this case my biological mom) for literally being the reason why people treat you like a kid or why you're not allowed to have sex, people just thinks it's another case of "blaming something on someone else," or "pointing fingers," or "misdirected anger or blame." No, FASD, just like Shaken Baby Syndrome, are conditions that are literally caused by someone else's actions (choices that the other person didn't have to make) and conditions that could have been prevented by the person not making certain poor choices in the first place. So when a person with a condition that was caused by someone else is treated like a kid or not allowed to have sex or vote or whatever (even if accurate or justified and 90% of the time, I don't think it is but just unfair and unjustified infantilization), then the person is literally not able to do those things because of someone else making selfish or poor choices that the person didn't have to make and the person with the condition have every right to be mad at the other person and every right to blame the other person for literally causing them to be the way they are. People whose conditions were caused by other people's actions and choices are more likely to understand this and more likely to understand me.

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And one last thing, people "call out" my behavior as "childish" or "immature" like when I talk about reverse psychology to get my mom to loosen up or doing stuff behind her back, but have you thought maybe my "childish" or "immature" behavior is literally the result of her treating me like a kid in the first place because if she treated me like the adult that I am, I wouldn't have to do anything behind her back and I wouldn't be thinking of ways to get her to loosen up. And no, sitting down and having a conversation with her like an adult doesn't work because 1) she doesn't see me as an adult and 2) she gets defensive quick. But I would love to have a supportive mom that I could talk to about my poetry that I share online and share with her the positive comments I get sometimes. And not have to worry about her taking, or trying to take, my phone from me just for doing something that other adults has the freedom to do.

I posted this in the AskParents sub, but it was removed so I'm posting it here since it's also kinda a vent. But for context, I'm a neurodivergent adult with FASD, and I still live at home with my overprotective, controlling parents (they're my adoptive parents, not my biological parents). When I post or complain about my situation or controlling parents, some people do side with me since I'm an adult but there's always people who also side with my parents and respond to me as if I'm in the wrong for wanting to be a normal adult or as if I'm a teenager who thinks they're grown rather than a literal adult who is grown. And I don't understand those people. And yes, I always mention that I'm an adult when I post about my situation.

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And people who knows us in real life absolutely sides with my parents and sees my mom as a selfless mom who took me in and sees me as being in the wrong just for wanting to live like everyone else my age (just for wanting to fall in love or pursue my dreams I've had since high school). But my mom taking me in is literally why I'm not allowed to live a normal adult life (why I'm not married, why I don't have kids of my own, why I didn't get to go to college, why I didnt get to pursue any of my dreams) because I was raised by someone who sees disabled/neurodivergent adults as "forever children" and who doesn't believe disabled/neurodivergent adults should be treated equal. I understand not all parents are like this because a lot of parents treat their disabled/neurodivergent adult kids as equal adults and don't stop them from doing any of those things. Anyone can take in and raise someone else's child and anyone can give birth to a child and raise said child, but not every parent keeps that child from being an adult once the child turns 18 (even if the child is disabled or neurodivergent). There's so many people I see online with Downs Syndrome and Autism who are doing amazing things with their lives (some are even married or own their own business) because they were raised by parents who didn't force them to be identified by just their disability and who saw past just a disability.

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Also taking in and raising someone's else's child shouldn't give you a free pass to shelter and infantalize the child once they become an adult and then they're seen as "ungrateful" because they're mad you won't let them grow up. If taking in and raising someone else's child doesn't give a parent a free pass to be sexually abusive or physically abusive because "at least they took you in and raised you and put a roof over your head" then it shouldn't give a parent a free pass to shelter and infantalize a disabled/neurodivergent adult. And yes, I see sheltering and infantalizing disabled/neurodivergent adults as another form of abuse (and I'm not the only one who thinks that way) because it can cause trauma, depression, and other issues just like sexual and physical abuse can. After all, we're talking about not letting an adult grow up and everything that comes with that (their freedoms and rights taken away and forcing them to let go of their dreams and not giving them autonomy and agency). We're not talking about telling teenagers (who can do what they want when they're 18 anyway) what to do, which is normal. And I don't care that the intention is good. The road to hell is paved with good intentions and what should matter is what it does to someone mentally and emotionally. In other words, if taking someone in and raising them doesn't outweigh sexual or physical abuse, then taking someone in and raising them shouldn't outweigh sheltering and infantalizing them once they turn 18 and especially not when they're well over 21.

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I even had someone in the Christianity sub tell me one time, "Shut up, you're just mad you can't do whatever you want," as if they were responding to a teenager who thinks they're grown instead of a literal adult that is grown (yes, I mentioned I'm an adult in my post) or as if I'm mad because I can't be a whore and do drugs. 1) I'm a literal adult and adults are supposed to be able to do whatever they want within reason and as long as they're not hurting anyone or doing anything illegal (why you think teenagers can't wait to turn 18?) and 2) you know what, I am mad I can't do whatever I want because not being able to do whatever I want means not being able to experience falling in love since my mom won't let me date (even if I was to date a fellow neurodivergent person), not being able to vote (which is supposed to be a human right for Americans), not being able to follow and pursue my dreams I've had since high school (which includes being a professional poet, freelance journalist, and documentary filmmaker and yes those are things I still want to do to this day). I'm literally not able to do anything with my life or make anything of myself because my mom doesn't want or allow me to grow up and when I do stuff behind her back (such as posting poetry online behind her back), some people judge me for that as if there's something wrong with me wanting to do something with my life or make something of myself (knowing full well that if I ask her, she'll say no and then if I "obey" her, I'll just continue feeling like my life is empty with no purpose or meaning).

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If you wouldn't tell a sexual abuse victim or physical abuse victim to "Shut up, you just don't want to be molested or raped" or "Shut up you just don't want to be beat," then don't tell a literal adult that's complaining about parents who won't let them live a normal adult life with dreams and aspirations "Shut up, you just mad you can't do whatever you want."

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And before anyone says something about how I'm living under her roof, it is not by choice. She doesn't even want me to move out and if I tried, she'd accuse me of being "ungrateful" and "stabbing her in the back" because she's my adoptive mom and she'd see me as a kid moving out because I don't want to follow her rules after everything she's done for me instead of seeing me as a literal adult moving out because I want to be independent and be like everyone else my age.

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I also feel like even people with other disorders or disabilities (like Autism or Down Syndrome) don't fully know or understand what it's like to have a disability or disorder that was literally caused by another person's actions, and neurotypical and non-disabled people certainly don't understand because when you blame your mom (in this case my biological mom) for literally being the reason why people treat you like a kid or why you're not allowed to have sex, people just thinks it's another case of "blaming something on someone else," or "pointing fingers," or "misdirected anger or blame." No, FASD, just like Shaken Baby Syndrome, are conditions that are literally caused by someone else's actions (choices that the other person didn't have to make) and conditions that could have been prevented by the person not making certain poor choices in the first place. So when a person with a condition that was caused by someone else is treated like a kid or not allowed to have sex or vote or whatever (even if accurate or justified and 90% of the time, I don't think it is but just unfair and unjustified infantilization), then the person is literally not able to do those things because of someone else making selfish or poor choices that the person didn't have to make and the person with the condition have every right to be mad at the other person and every right to blame the other person for literally causing them to be the way they are. People whose conditions were caused by other people's actions and choices are more likely to understand this and more likely to understand me.

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And one last thing, people "call out" my behavior as "childish" or "immature" like when I talk about reverse psychology to get my mom to loosen up or doing stuff behind her back, but have you thought maybe my "childish" or "immature" behavior is literally the result of her treating me like a kid in the first place because if she treated me like the adult that I am, I wouldn't have to do anything behind her back and I wouldn't be thinking of ways to get her to loosen up. And no, sitting down and having a conversation with her like an adult doesn't work because 1) she doesn't see me as an adult and 2) she gets defensive quick. But I would love to have a supportive mom that I could talk to about my poetry that I share online and share with her the positive comments I get sometimes. And not have to worry about her taking, or trying to take, my phone from me just for doing something that other adults has the freedom to do.

Are there any hoodies for teddy bears that have a functioning pocket (like the hoodies that are made for people, so I can put little stuff in the pocket) and that offers the ability to customize with a photo of my choice?

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I prefer to buy it from Amazon since I already have a little bit of money on there that I need to spend and $3 left over on a prepaid Mastercard (I can't add the $3 from the card to my Amazon balance because of their $5 minimum limit but I can add the card to my account and set it as my default payment then buy something and it'll deduct from the card first then my Amazon balance so that the $3 doesn't go to waste). Otherwise, I'd buy from etsy if it wasn't for me needing to use up the remaining balance on my card, which is less than $5.

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But if anyone has any links, please feel free to drop them in the comments. I've already looked on Amazon, and I'm continuing to see what I can find on there. But I thought I'd ask for some help here. ❤️

The title ⬆️ Should I (as a neurodivergent adult who's a little slow and who's still living at home with parents who infantalizes me and shelters me) volunteer as a crisis counselor for Crisis Text Line?

I don't know, I feel like I'm dismissed or not taken seriously, especially by neurotypical adults and by parents, so it makes me feel dismissed or like I'm too immature/childish to be in the field of crisis counseling like I wouldn't know what I'm doing or like I'm just a kid who hasn't grown up trying to talk to people in serious situations (I'm an adult, fyi).

On the other hand, a person could do a better job than people initially thought they were capable of and could turn out to be amazing at what they do, despite their own situation, circumstances, or mental health struggles.

But I genuinely want to help people, and mental health is a very important topic to me. So I'm just looking for thoughts, opinions, or advice from the neurodivergent community.

Plus, crisis counseling is anonymous, so the people you're helping don't know who is helping them. They just know they're talking to a trained counselor on the other end of the screen. And counselors go through, I think, 15 hours of training before being able to help people in crisis.

I've also had people tell me I shouldn't volunteer because I'm too immature or childish due to worrying about whether or not my parents would find out about me volunteering. Or that I'm too immature or childish for doing something behind my parents' backs. But of course, I'm gonna worry about that when I still live at home with parents who refuse to let me grow up. In my opinion, it's no different than a woman living with an abusive husband and worrying about him finding out about her activities or volunteer work. And *adults*, whether neurodivergent or neurotypical, shouldn't have to tell their parents everything they do, whether they're still living at home or not. Especially if they're not hurting anyone or doing anything illegal.

The double standard between a disabled/neurodivergent adult still living with controlling parents who infantalizes them and a neurotypical adult living with an abusive spouse is crazy. All the times, people have victim blamed me for still living here and not standing up to my parents because of fear, manipulation, etc. You wouldn't victim blame a victim of spousal abuse for not leaving or for not standing up to their spouse or for doing something behind their spouse's back that their spouse wouldn't approve of (due to overly controlling behavior), so don't victim blame disabled/neurodivergent adults. Fear, manipulation, and coercion are very real. Got a little off-topic with this last paragraph. Sorry about that. I just got a little rant-y.

The title ⬆️ Should I (as a neurodivergent adult who's a little slow and who's still living at home with parents who infantalizes me and shelters me) volunteer as a crisis counselor for Crisis Text Line?

I don't know, I feel like I'm dismissed or not taken seriously, especially by neurotypical adults and by parents, so it makes me feel dismissed or like I'm too immature/childish to be in the field of crisis counseling like I wouldn't know what I'm doing or like I'm just a kid who hasn't grown up trying to talk to people in serious situations (I'm an adult, fyi).

On the other hand, a person could do a better job than people initially thought they were capable of and could turn out to be amazing at what they do, despite their own situation, circumstances, or mental health struggles.

But I genuinely want to help people, and mental health is a very important topic to me. So I'm just looking for thoughts, opinions, or advice from the neurodivergent community.

Plus, crisis counseling is anonymous, so the people you're helping don't know who is helping them. They just know they're talking to a trained counselor on the other end of the screen. And counselors go through, I think, 15 hours of training before being able to help people in crisis.

I've also had people tell me I shouldn't volunteer because I'm too immature or childish due to worrying about whether or not my parents would find out about me volunteering. Or that I'm too immature or childish for doing something behind my parents' backs. But of course, I'm gonna worry about that when I still live at home with parents who refuse to let me grow up. In my opinion, it's no different than a woman living with an abusive husband and worrying about him finding out about her activities or volunteer work. And *adults*, whether neurodivergent or neurotypical, shouldn't have to tell their parents everything they do, whether they're still living at home or not. Especially if they're not hurting anyone or doing anything illegal.

The double standard between a disabled/neurodivergent adult still living with controlling parents who infantalizes them and a neurotypical adult living with an abusive spouse is crazy. All the times, people have victim blamed me for still living here and not standing up to my parents because of fear, manipulation, etc. You wouldn't victim blame a victim of spousal abuse for not leaving or for not standing up to their spouse or for doing something behind their spouse's back that their spouse wouldn't approve of (due to overly controlling behavior), so don't victim blame disabled/neurodivergent adults. Fear, manipulation, and coercion are very real. Got a little off-topic with this last paragraph. Sorry about that. I just got a little rant-y.

My mom is talking about buying a camera to put up outside. And I think she's serious about it this time.

I was hoping I could talk her out of it by making her think cameras can be hacked into by the government or by hackers (regardless of which kind of camera she buys). Or make her think that I'm paranoid the government or hackers will hack into it and spy on us. But the last time I said something about it, she said "those kind of cameras can't be hacked into." I'm not saying I actually believe that stuff, and I don't know if that stuff is true, but regardless, I want her to **think** it is.

Maybe I can **act** like I'm paranoid of the government or hackers hacking into the camera and maybe if I **act paranoid** or act out **bad enough**, she will decide not to put a camera up regardless of what *she* believes personally. Maybe I can even use this to threaten to move out or actually finally get the guts to stand up to her and move out and maybe she won't call me "ungrateful" if she **thinks** it's because I'm paranoid about the cameras being hacked into, instead of taking as a personal attack against her ("oh you're leaving me after everything I did for you").

And she knows how anti-government I am already and have been that way for years, so it should be believable by now even if I'm just *acting*.

Why is a camera so bad?

Because I already can't talk on the phone or video chat unless I'm home alone. If she puts a camera up, I might not be able to talk on the phone or video chat ever again for as long as I'm living here (depends on what kind of camera she gets and if it can pick up sound inside the house). It'll be an outside camera.

I'm very sheltered, and I feel trapped as it is. I was also hoping if I ever get a neighbor to hang out with while I'm home alone, I could go over to their house or invite them over (so far, no neighbors for me to hang out with while I'm home alone, yet). But if my mom puts a camera up, then there goes that plan.

That also means I'll never lose my virginity, as long as I'm living here. Even if I did have a neighbor I could lose it to or a friend I could invite over. I don't have privacy unless I'm home alone. But there goes my privacy when/if the camera goes up.

And why do I think my mom is more serious now? Because we're about to get a new neighbor who is an ex-con and she doesn't trust him. And no, he's not the kind of neighbor I was hoping for per my previous two paragraphs. He's married, a lot older than me, and like I said, an ex-con. Ugh and yikes. I also prefer someone neurodivergent like me and within a 4 year age range.

And if the politicians pass the social media "age verification" laws (I don't have access to my ID because my mom has it) and if my mom puts a camera up, then I will be nothing more than a sheltered prisoner in my own home. I will have nothing else going for me. The little bit of freedom I do have will be gone.

I'm an adult, by the way.