u/Polar_Bear_55

I (19m) was diagnosed with general dysautonomia after I’ve been having symptoms since September. Weirdly enough I was doing better for a while, up until now..
Yesterday I didn’t really have an appetite as I was under a lot of stress, so I didn’t eat any proper meals. In the evening I suddenly felt panicky (which is a recurring symptom of mine and I hate it), so I ate some salty meat before going to sleep. I jolted awake a few times. Today I woke up feeling the same way I did in October. I was shaky and felt quite weak, my face was flushed and I feel like the world is spinning. This has caused me three breakdowns so far, since I’m terrified this means I’m back at the worst of it. I also got so worked up I’m nauseous now so that’s great too.. I ate some ansjovis, drank chocolate milk and orange juice so far, but I don’t feel okay and I’m easily afraid. September was traumatic and I’d sell my left kidney not to end up there again.

My platonic(!!) best friend (19f) and I (19m) just said goodbyes. She’s taking a real long break that might last a year or longer to find herself. I’m at the worst time of my life already as I’ve been very physically ill since september while doctors have been dismissing me left and right while friends ditch me, and I’m also struggling badly mentally. I’ve got family issues, nightmares disrupt my sleep and I was sa’d too. But having this happen on a random Monday morning on top of it all has pushed me over the edge. Since it seems to be the best thing for her regarding her situation I’m glad for her. She didn’t want to do it either, but I know she practically had to. On the other hand though, I feel all alone now. Due to the illness I haven’t been able to meet up with anyone since november. Her and I used to text at least every evening, and now I’m all alone. I feel very anxious and afraid, I’ve got nothing rn. I can’t go out to meet new people to spend time with, I can’t even go for a walk. All the ways I’ve found to distract myself or keep busy at home since September are getting boring. I’m alone and exhausted, and I don’t know what to do with myself.

I’ve been learning this language and sometimes I get stuck on when I want to learn specific words or sentences. Obviously google translate isn’t the most accurate I don’t use it, but I feel like places to learn specific things that aren’t just the basics are hard to find. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Keeping it short because I want to say so many things it leaves me unable to say stuff at all.
I’m struggling with my physical and mental health a lot since september (can’t leave the house), my best friend might leave me, im alone, i beg professionals to take me seriously.. Etc. It’s all too much and I can’t even escape life in sleep because I just can’t sleep or get nightmares. I’m sobbing as I write this, I can’t see a future for myself and I feel like I’m starting to consider the easy way out. I’m 19 and it’s all gone to waste, I don’t have a future left and i can’t do it anymore.

I’m a 19 year old guy and I’ve always wished I had an older brother or cousin to look up to or something. In school I had a teacher who filled that role for me like yearly, and now that I’ve been out of school for almost two years I feel the lack of it a lot. My father’s always been present but absent, and I don’t have any older male family members to look up to or get trustworthy advice from. Not someone I hear from once in a blue moon, but someone present I can talk to. Where do I find someone like that? I honestly need it in life.

Warning for heavy stuff ig. Have been getting dismissed by doctors since September and I’m tired. I’ve got a “postviral syndrome” diagnosis yet they hardly believe it’s not just anxiety. I can’t see my friends, my ocd and mental health are awful. I can’t sleep without getting vivid nightmares that leave me tired anyways. When I was younger I wanted to grow up to be peter pan, and now I think about it maybe I should “never grow up”. I’ve always felt weirdly okay with being that person and I feel like maybe it’ll be better than living like this, even more so right now. My best friend also said she wants to start again maybe and ditch everyone including me entirely, I’m home all the time.. It doesn’t seem like the illness will go away anytime soon and even after that I have so many struggles even at home and the rest of it.. I can’t. I’m 19, I’ve been through stuff and my life was supposed to start in August. It ended after a month..

I’ve been diagnosed with dysautonomia a while ago, and my doctors still hardly believe I don’t just have an anxiety disorder. Since my first day of symptoms I’ve had an intense feeling of panic, at the most random times (alongside other symptoms of course). It’s not like normal anxiety or panic, and I sure know what those feel like. It can happen out of nowhere. Sometimes I’m sat on the couch and I start to feel panicked, which is often accompanied by sinus pressure and/or facial flushing. I also sometimes get a tingling sensation down there iykyk. I’ve gotten better at dealing with it aka not giving into it, but it can be terrifying. Weirdly enough, I also had this panic in 2020 but then right before I got very ill for a while. I blocked it out so I’m not sure what made it go away, but it’s been back for 10 months now and it’s messing with me. A few weeks back I started getting nightmares too (sometimes realistic, sometimes totally not). They give me intense dread upon waking up..
Can anyone relate?

I’ve been struggling with dysautonomia since September. One of my biggest symptoms is a sort of adrenaline/panic I never had before.
Since a few months, I’ve started having these episodes where I get tense and panicked, and it feels as IF I’m about to start shaking, collapse, have a seizure or something.
It’s like a pressure or tingling on my head, feeling as if I will shake internally, a very anxious feeling though I’m calm. It never actually escalates but everytime I think now’s the time.
I had a specifically bad one just now, with acid reflux and slight lightheadedness which stresses me out. I’m writing this to try calm down and settle myself..
When the panic comes on I often feel like my muscles are more tense, and also get a tingling sensation “down there”.. Weird to mention, but I feel like I should. It’s not good for my mental health either though, because I feel like everytime it comes back will be the time it escalates.. Does anyone understand what I’m saying?

I wasn’t sure what flair to use as it’s just so confusing. Disclaimer: before this I’d usually sleep normally except for that I find it very hard to fall asleep and stay asleep. I also have woken up having cried in my sleep, and I sometimes start feeling like I can’t breathe and wake up coughing and gasping for air.

I’ve been having surreal dreams/nightmares lately that genuinely seem to blend with reality. They’re not entirely realistic, that’s why I’m marking them surreal. Some of it is realistic, but usually there’s even fantasy or impossible situations involved. Now this isn’t that big of a problem, as I’d try just tell myself it’s dreams and nothing more than that.

The problem with this is upon waking it still feels real. Not like an “Am I still dreaming?” feeling, but a feeling as if the dreams (though surreal) were real. Another thing is that they also give me a very panicked feeling aswell as a feeling of doom.

I’m just hoping I’m not going crazy, so let me know. A few days ago my mom was so creepy and odd in my dream I needed two hours away from her once I’d woken up.

OCD related. Short rant but I’m scared.
I have OCD and I’ve been ill with dysautonomia for 11 months. Before this, I’ve always been confident I was a trans man. But since the illness I’ve had ups and downs as my OCD has gotten more intense being home. Lately I’m struggling badly. My OCD keeps telling me I want to be a girl (even though I’m scared of that) and that I want to detransition, and it just won’t stop. I have nightmares about it and I wake up panicked. (One of my symptoms is adrenaline/panic)
This happened in November, and I was confidently able to discard the thought. But I feel mentally drained now, and when a heatwave hit it came back and I started to struggle to keep calm. My thoughts race in the background of whatever I do 24/7, and when I focus on them I get all warm and panicked..
Even my dreams are surreal and intense. I’ve also been struggling with intense dysphoria so this is hell on Earth.
Yesterday evening I had a moment of clarity where despite all this confusion it’s causing, I felt like I really do want to be a man. Yet I woke up today, panicked again, and I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know how to take it anymore. I’m so tired I can’t even cry or think clearly.

I’ve been ill and mostly home since September, which has made my OCD a lot worse. In November I had a topic I could hardly reassure myself on and I finally managed to calm it down, only for it to return last month but worse. It went away again only for a different thing to ruin my days and sleep for four days, and now it’s back. This is a really sensitive topic and I’m afraid of the thoughts I get because I can never be 100 percent sure of the opposite.
It is so bad I deal with it in my sleep to the point I hardly can sleep, and I get panicked because I hear my thoughts the entire day even while trying to distract myself. “Sitting with it” and “maybe, maybe not? “ don’t work. Someone please tell me what has worked for you because I am desperate.

I’m not sure anyone will be able to relate, but I’m scared so I want to put this out here. A random day in September I got a panicked feeling. This was my very first symptom, and it felt worse than a normal panic attack. Along with that came a warm feeling in my face, and a whole bunch of other stuff. A few months ago I was diagnosed with dysautonomia. I’ve often had these episodes of feeling like I’m about to have something happen. Like I’m about to have a seizure even though I don’t have any symptoms that point to it (also have ocd which might be making it worse) or like I will start shaking or get worse but it never actually happens. And the worst thing I get is these moments where I get warm, slightly tingly, and panicked out of nowhere. Not normal panic, but a sense of doom/dread and high anxiety. I also feel weirdly overwhelmed when this happens like I can’t handle anything. Usually I try just zone out and be calm until it passes, but sometimes I go lay down and feel like I need to be alone then only get better when I start shaking and come down from it. I also get terrified my life will be like this forever and that I might wind up in the hospital with no one helping me. I just had two good days and I managed to go for a car ride, jump on the trampoline etc.. and now I had an episode of panic again. As if my body releases stress that way after I do something that gives me some stress.
I am quite an anxious person since these symptoms came along so I’m afraid they will never go away. My sleep is also affected, I have surrealistic dreams that leave me with a sense of doom and confusion when I wake up.
Does anyone know what I could do to make the panic go away or lessen? I am desperate, I feel mentally out of it.
Doorbells scare me, I also mishear noises and I’m very jumpy. I’m also scared it’ll get worse somehow so I’m constantly anxious in a way. Before this I was the calmest person I know.

I feel anxious and trapped and have OCD which is currently making me feel like I’m the worst person ever for lying about things. Can I please talk to anyone?

( I couldn’t post this in the OCD subreddit because I don’t have enough karma but I need help )

I can’t deal with this guilt and overwhelming urge. I’m a 21 year old guy who’s had some trouble in life. I was groomed by multiple men, can’t remember majority of my childhood, and have OCD that can get real bad real quick at times.
I’ve been dealing with dysautonomia, and the topics my intensified OCD gets fixated on are kicking my ass. First I struggled with Harm ocd again, then when I finally got over it I was struggling with my sexuality and now I feel like I need to confess things that are eating me alive. I love my friends, and I’ve told them some personal stuff. I told them I was groomed (cause I was), but I didn’t specify it was just online because I feel like I’d be less valid for the reaction I had to it. On top of that, I said it was mainly one person just to get closure with how I hardly remember what happened as I also feel like something went down previous to that that I can’t remember. I’ve also lied about some other things like fights, as I feel weak for being gay and stuff like that. I also struggle with fake memories which confuse me about what actually happened even more.

I love my friends, and I’ve never lied about something involving them. I’d do anything for them, and this is an issue that’s in my head because I can’t get a grip and remember things or figure out what actually happened, but I feel so guilty. I only told about three lies, and I feel like I’m an awful person who doesn’t deserve them and it makes me not want to be here. The OCD of course loves this topic, because it keeps coming back to that making me feel a sense of dread. I can’t tell them because I don’t even know what actually happened, and I feel like the worst person in the world.

I’m an 18 year old male. I’ve had struggles all my life, but lately has been bad. A year ago, I was sa’d by some guy in my class I gave a chance because he had no friends. I froze up when it happened. Told myself I would be out there and starting life soon so I dealt with it, tried to overcome it, and when I finally did I got a post viral syndrome from some dumbass virus. I’ve been dealing with symptoms since September, mainly an unnatural sort of panic, heat intolerance and nausea. On top of that it made me mentally unstable and weak, which influenced my OCD. I keep questioning everything in my life, and getting a sense of doom like nobody can help me. Not with my mental health, and not physically. I’m stuck and I can’t do this anymore. So much is going on and this is the moment my life was supposed to begin.

This story is very long but I’ve explained myself to so many professionals who hardly even believe it’s not just stress, I’ve undergone scans and all types of medical procedures and therapy to no avail. I’m lost and fucked.

I don’t know where to even start, or if anyone will read this, but I need help or insight I can’t seem to get from professionals.

I’m a nineteen year old guy. Throughout my life, I’ve come across a lot of struggles. My father’s emotionally abusive, but not in the sense that he’d cuss me out or something. I’ll go deeper into that later. I struggled with undiagnosed OCD my entire youth, which made me feel like I was a monster for having intrusive thoughts and other symptoms of it. I only got clarity a year ago. I’ve got deadly allergies which gave me medical anxiety from always having to watch out what I eat and getting testing done and being in hospitals (I had bad experiences on multiple occasions which make me avoid hospitals even nowadays, even though I did get scans done for the problems I’ll be explaining).
I also found out about sexual things way too young. The intrusive thoughts, different food everywhere I went and sexual things made me feel like an alien sometimes.
I didn’t fit in and I didn’t feel like I did either. On top of that I am also queer, so my childhood was confusing. Coming back to what I said about my father, he’d always treat my mother badly. I don’t know if I’m overreacting because they always act like nothing happened the next day, but he’d cuss her out in front of me, or cry in front of me and my little brother.. The mood of the house always depended on him, so everyone walked on eggshells. He’d threaten to kill himself, sometimes his eyes glazed over as he shouted or had one of those moments again and it scared me. My mother would always vent to me about it, saying they were never married (they’ve never divorced).
I also never felt the need to have a good relationship with him, I was almost disgusted being around him for some reason, especially when it comes to affection. I’m still not sure why. He’d always tell us everything he did for us afterwards, or manipulate whoever wasn’t picking sides to be on his in the moment. On top of that, since my parents were distracted, I got groomed multiple times by different men, sending some explicit pictures.

Throughout my youth I always had a reoccurring type of anxiety disorder that would show up once in a while and last for months. I’d be afraid about death and feel like I couldn’t breathe especially the hour before going to sleep. I was driven to the ER twice. This panic would manifest differently a few years later, where I was suddenly terrified of staying home by myself or in a car alone even though being totally fine before. Then in sixth grade I’d get panic attacks about a five-day school trip.
I cannot remember a lot when it comes to my youth, so I’m not sure if anything else caused this really. It’s kind of scary, because I’ve always suspected something might’ve happened with either my grandma’s pervy boyfriend or my second grade teacher but I can’t recall it so it makes me feel paranoid.

All my youth it was as if I hardly had any feelings the older I got. At the beginning of my teenage years it was as if I was numbed down to anything that could happen.
Then out of the blue, when I was 12, I got very ill for a few months. One of the symptoms was that I had an intense panic I’d never felt before. This went away again after a while, but I still felt unsettled. Lately, I’ve been confronted with a lot and it’s as if this triggered the panic again on a whole new level. I was hardly 18 when it started, and it’s been ten months, but I feel very miserable. It’s as if I get adrenaline dumps, the anxiety is back twenty times worse. It’s causing me to get agoraphobic just because I can hardly even go outside without anything happening.

I was talking to my best friend, who’s in a mental hospital. She’s been learning about CPTSD and how it works because she’s suspected to have it, and she told me I might too and to look into it. I’m getting brushed off by doctors left and right, since they say it’s just anxiety and I might be stressed because of the future or me being gay.. Which is bullshit. The panic is almost a physical reaction, not sure how to even explain. I get an intense panic, and a feeling of doom. Sometimes I need to lay down because I feel shaky, warm and dizzy. It’s awful and it’s making me feel awful. I know there’s a chance this is not it, but I’m desperate for answers no one is willing to help me with. So this is what I’m doing now, hoping someone will be able to even guide me in the slightest.

For context, I am 19 and since September I have been dealing with postviral symptoms after having Parvovirus B19. I’ve been home most of the time, with awful and changing symptoms that are slowly getting better partly. I’ve had scans done, bloodwork, etc.. To no avail. Until I found a specific doctor. He found the virus and diagnosed me with post viral syndrome. I’ve been on supplements. A symptom I’ve had since the very start is awful panic. I was never a panicked person, and now it’s as if adrenaline keeps sending me into surges daily. It messes up my sleep, my days, I can’t see my friends.

I had a conversation planned with him yesterday, and felt good about it since I feel like he was the first doctor who listened to me and found the problem (after countless of dismissing doctors). Yet during the conversation it seemed like my hope was crushed. He started blaming me being gay for the “stress” even though I explained to him that the panic is a symptom rather than a sort of stress I bring upon myself. He kept insisting it’s because of me being gay, saying it must bring stress with it. Then he also started crushing my one motivation that keeps me going, which is how I want to move abroad. He told me it was unrealistic and that I needed a real plan.. He’s supposed to help fix my illness, not be my life coach.

I understand he meant well, but I am at rock bottom so discouraging my motivation made me feel depressed. This panic is the worst thing out of all my symptoms that I’ve ever felt, because it’s tricky and I don’t feel like myself. I need to get rid of this feeling, and now I feel like my hope is lost as he’s telling me it might be because I’m gay though I know it’s not. Does anyone know what I can do? He felt like my last hope.. And I have no clue what to do to make this panic/adrenaline better. I can’t deal with it anymore.

I’m not great at writing things on here, but I’m doing it anyways right now because I feel so alone it’s driving me nuts.
I am a 19 year old male who’s never had that bad of mental issues. Sometimes some anxiety, but nothing life altering.
In September, out of nowhere, I got ill. My first symptom was intense panic, then the rest of the day I was shaking in my bed with a fever and panicked feeling accompanied by dizziness. The next day I woke up fine. After that, for the next two weeks I had an unsettling, unnatural feeling of stress. I say unnatural because it felt as if it wasn’t how I felt. I couldn’t do breathing exercises or anything to calm it down, and stressing myself didn’t make it worse either. After these two weeks, I crashed again. I was sat in my bed late in the evening, and I suddenly felt tingling in the roof of my mouth, accompanied by a cold feeling in my body, then a warm wave. I was quite freaked out, so I tried to sleep it off again. But it did not go away like the last time, and since then it’s been non stop since September 15th.

I’ve had ct scans done, an mri, a petscan, a heart echo and none of them showed anything wrong. Countless blood draws too. This freaked me out. I ended up with a specific doctor, who tested things people normally wouldn’t. This showed I had been through Parvovirus B19, and that I had deficiencies too. I was diagnosed post viral syndrome. Now here’s what I’m wondering about. All I read is just people with physical symptoms, which I have. But I never find anyone really talking about the way it messes with your mind. For me, I’ve gained sleeping issues where I have surrealistic dreams and struggle to feel disconnected enough from them when I wake up. This causes derealisation. I also get the mad anxiety I never had before, which is an everyday issue I really struggle with. The entire first week after the illness returned, I couldn’t stop crying even though I am normally not an emotional person like that. And another thing that freaks me out is how I sometimes get a feeling of doom like something bad will happen, and also a weird aura as if I NEED to be alone and away from everyone. Like a sort of overwhelm.

I feel very alone in this, and I do not understand how it works or how to solve it. I need help, because my life has been hell. If anyone knows anything, or wants to comment on anything I’ve said here.. Please don’t hesitate. I want my life back, or at least my mind to begin with.