In my experience everytime I’ve dated someone with history it almost always led to me contemplating breaking up 24/7 because of it. My body and mind just couldn’t handle all the pressure and stress of it so I always thought that breaking up is the easiest solution to it.
How do you cope and fight it?
I don’t think anyone wants to hear my sob story but tldr I was bullied a lot as a kid so I’m just trying to get over the trauma by putting myself out more
yall look great by the way
I grew up as a fat kid which was the main reason for my bullying, which in turn just let me to just eat more out of (likely) anxiety and such to cope with it. I weighted about 130KG at 13-14. The bullying never stopped, it was verbal and often times physical. The most traumatic moment I can recall is when a group of about 6-8 people jumped me and recorded me. Pretty sure another reason was because I was rumoured to be gay which unfortunately I am, the bullying stopped recently when I moved schools, about a year or two ago.
I’m 17 now, lost most of my weight, I workout regularly and I’m now at a school where I have friends and I’m okay, but I’ve never gotten my confidence back. I don’t have enough fingers to count how many failed relationships/connections I had because I believed I wasn’t enough for that person. Whenever someone I deemed attractive approached me and tried to form a connection with me I always ghosted and dipped due to my very low self esteem and fear of vulnerability, which in turn made me miss the teenage love experience. I only had one kiss which is recent and I never tried talking to that person again cause I didn’t deem myself attractive or worthy enough and I hate that I’m not able to have a relationship because of this.
I don’t really get bullied a lot anymore but the “PTSD” I got from it is insane. I feel like everyone is against me and I can’t trust no one which means that whenever someone tries forming a genuine connection and friendship with me I always have my suspicions and feelings that it’s false or they want to make fun of me. Albeit I’ve managed to make a few good friends I’m comfortable with.
I love boxing. I used to be part of a boxing sports team until recently when my low self esteem hit again and I had to leave. That was a great year of my life though.
Does it ever get better?
I grew up as a fat kid which was the main reason for my bullying, which in turn just let me to just eat more out of (likely) anxiety and such to cope with it. I weighted about 130KG at 13-14. The bullying never stopped, it was verbal and often times physical. The most traumatic moment I can recall is when a group of about 6-8 people jumped me and recorded me.
I’m 17 now, lost most of my weight, I workout regularly and I’m now at a school where I have friends and I’m okay, but I’ve never gotten my confidence back. I don’t have enough fingers to count how many failed relationships/connections I had because I believed I wasn’t enough for that person. Whenever someone I deemed attractive approached me and tried to form a connection with me I always ghosted and dipped due to my very low self esteem and fear of vulnerability, which in turn made me miss the teenage love experience. I only had one kiss which is recent and I never tried talking to that person again cause I didn’t deem myself attractive or worthy enough and I hate that I’m not able to have a relationship because of this.
I don’t really get bullied a lot anymore but the “PTSD” I got from it is insane. I feel like everyone is against me and I can’t trust no one which means that whenever someone tries forming a genuine connection and friendship with me I always have my suspicions and feelings that it’s false or they want to make fun of me. Albeit I’ve managed to make a few good friends I’m comfortable with.
I love boxing. I used to be part of a boxing sports team until recently when my low self esteem hit again and I had to leave. That was a great year of my life though.
Does it ever get better?
I was born orthodox in the Romanian Orthodox Church, but holy fuck it’s the most corrupt and morally deprived church that I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being born into.
Corruption, sex scandals, pedophilia, political bias, bribery, hate and bigotry. Eastern European orthodox churches are well known of these.
Lately, for about 2 years now I’ve been looking into and studying Anglicanism, more specifically the Church of England as it’s the most prominent Anglican Church in Europe and Romania. After thinking about it for a long time I decided I’ll convert the following month in Belgium within the CoE Archdiocese of Europe.
I’ve made that decision because from my personal experience and point of view the Anglican Church is more accepting and modern. The world evolves and so does the church and faith. The Orthodox Church sees change as an enemy and because of that the outdated status-quo needs to be maintained even if it hurts others. The recent attacks against Archbishop Mullally has shown me how nasty “orthobros” can be and how disrespectful they can be to other churches. That cemented my will to convert.
The leadership of the church is also often calling for hate. Congregations are almost always racist, xenophobic, homophobic and priests turn away anyone who wishes to take part in the church based on the motives I just listed earlier. I did my part in the church by participating in it, but seeing friends and people I know getting turned away like this isn’t right.
Local church leaders are usually paid by political parties to be partisan and tell their congregation what to vote, almost always being a far-right party as I experienced this myself.
The Orthodox Church, atleast the Romanian one is an outdated institution used by politicians to boost their popularity and hateful rhetoric.
Tell me why as level 29 I always and only get matchmaked with people above level 100 that just wipe out the entire lobby? I only play sponsored cause of that and now its the same in every sponsored lobby too lmao
Player count absolutely sucks sure but just implement SBMM or anything bro, what is the point of playing if you never extract or have fun? Not to mention that queue times take 6-12 minutes with crossplay on in Europe
as for the “you’re bad lol” excuses yeah Ofcourse I suck against players 5x my level and skill level
LBMM is terrible when it doesn’t even work in the slightest
edit: I don’t hate this game, I’m really excited for vault breaker as I hope it’ll finally let me and my friends enjoy the game we bought. But buying a video game and having absolutely no fun in matches isn’t really worth the money. As for my server region I’m Eastern European which might have something to do with the long queues
The game requires you to have a super-speed retina implant that can detect any type of movement on a pixel screen within the allocated 1 millisecond of the TTK and robot arms that can move your mouse/controller within a millisecond on the target otherwise you’re dead in 0.1 seconds cause of the horrible TTK
ain’t nobody gonna play this shit, im level 30 and I get queued with levels 80-100+ man fuck bungie and their shitty matchmaking system, im having a BLAST playing with players 10x sweatier
I liked arc raiders cause I could get matchmaked with people on the same level as me without having to grind 10 hours each day to train my aim on a video game, not to mention i play on console against PC players cause you genuinely can’t get into any match if u have crossplay disabled, sad I wasted money and 70 precious hours of my life on a game I can’t even play properly cause of its shitty matchmaking and TTK
maybe this is why I’ve never seen anyone like me under the age of 20 play marathon cause they genuinely can’t gaf to play with sweaty 30 years old blast-having edgelords
Awesome move to get rid of the PvE mode Bungie 👍 lost your last fuckass casual players 😂🫵
yup right on the nose of Romania
I’m gay and I (M, 17) live in a closed rural and very conservative Eastern European/slavic area with the only major city being an hour away by car, so I’ve never really had the opportunity to experience love or dating. Had a couple experiences with girls but never clicked so I gave up.
But this guy hit me up a month ago, he’s one year younger than me and goes to a high school right next to mine in a town nearby. We talked a few days through texting, but I ended up ghosting him due to my fear of getting too close to someone and being vulnerable. I know it sounds stupid but if you were in my place you’d see it as the rational choice.
Fast forward a month later he comes over to my village and out of nowhere sends me a text asking if I want to hangout with him, I agreed to it cause I like hanging out at night with friends. The streets are totally empty at night where I am so we just hanged outside from 8 PM to 1 AM together just walking around, listening to music, eating snacks and doing random shit to get rid of the boredom. I brought a girl friend of mine which I’ve known since forever and knows about my sexuality so we can all 3 hangout together, was a blast ngl. I do miss it already
At about 12 he kindly asks her if she can go get some water for everyone, hinting at her that he wants a moment with me and she picked it up, after which I realised she knows he has feelings for me. Long story short we make out for a bit until she comes back, after which we still do it cause my friend was actually happy seeing me happy.
After that we talk while I have him cuddle on top of me on the stairs of some abandoned school. The topic of exes and body count comes up which I absolutely really dread, he tells us he has had 2 exes/situationship and 1 body count. I don’t think I’ve ever had my feelings completely disappear for someone until that moment, just gone after hearing it and confirming my suspicions. I stopped cuddling with him and just sat there while the 2 of them discussed it.
We called it a day soon after, reluctantly hugged him so I could leave faster, after I’m done hugging and turned my back he quickly calls me back to ask for a kiss, he’s taller than me so I actually had to get on my tip toes to do it, I enjoyed this one because I knew it was the last we’d have
We didn’t talk the following day. I think he sent me a text or two? I don’t remember but I just know I didn’t text him back, and that’s cause of my retroactive jealousy I think. Deep down I know it’s for the better to protect myself from getting hurt. I’m a virgin so I think it’s okay for me to expect someone to be the same, even though I know it’s impossible where I live, so I’d rather protect myself by being alone.
Thing is I truly started to like him that night until I found out about his past, which makes me miss him rn and gives me a big urge to text him but I know I shouldn’t and I won’t for my own good. Tbh I’d go for therapy but there’s no therapists around and I’m not wasting one hour of fuel for a session. What would you do in my situation?
For context I’ve made this account last year, it has grown significantly averaging a few hundred to thousands likes per post, on Bluesky which in itself only has like 40 million users
I’ve gotten a DM yesterday from Insider Wire, a way more established news company asking if they can buy this company from me. Truth be told I haven’t had much time to post as I’ve been busy with political science uni, so I did consider selling it.
How much would you value it for? This is also the only offer I’m considering so no I’m not trying to sell here or advertise that I’m selling it, I just genuinely need advice from more experienced people than me
Bungie I literally beg you bro fix matchmaking for lower level people. I’m barely level 37, my teammates around the 20-40 level area too yet we get skinned alive by people with OVER level 200. On Perimeter out of all maps too
Wouldn’t it be wiser to just introduce a new matchmaking system if the player count is low? Make the game a little more forgiving for new players
LI know there are a few political students over here so I’m gonna suggest these if anyone’s interested in them
I’m currently studying for Political Science in Brussels and I recently finished 107 Days by Kamala Harris, it gave me a really interesting insight into the way political campaigns work and party politics, if you’re into political memorandums and analytical thinking you should totally give it a try!
I decided to get 2 new books: The Tragedy of Great Power Politics from the University of Chicago to further study Political Science and International Relations and The Truths We Hold by Kamala Harris as a cool political motivational side piece
I just started them but I totally recommend all 3 of them, the Tragedy of Great Power Politics goes in depth about how international relations work, how every country is fighting against eachother, even allies and what strategies diplomats employ.
The Truths We Hold on the other hand is a political memorandum, an inspiring and motivational one about Kamala Harris’ rise from a second generation immigrant to a prosecutor and then Senator, very interesting read aswell
If anyone has more recommendations I’m totally open to reading them, I need more books like these :)
FOLKS, the WOKEOMETER, tremendous checker by the way, the BEST there has ever been, nobody knows checkers like me, just DROPPED the numbers and it’s OFF THE CHARTS!
The ROBOTS are here, they’re taking over, and even THEY gave MARATHON a 1 out of 10… but they’re calling it BASED! Can you believe it? BASED!
But frankly, the WOKE ESTABLISHMENT led by no one other than JOE BIDEN and “cackling” KAMALA is coming after MARATHON like never before.. total WITCH HUNT!
We’ve all seen it, MARATHON has done EXTREMELY PATRIOTIC things, the most patriotic anyone’s ever seen. I’ve PLAYED it, folks. Nobody plays MARATHON like me, NOBODY I’m telling you!
I looked everywhere. Not ONE DEI initiative! Not even a Mexican! ZERO! They’ve got more secure borders than we do… on an ALIEN PLANET!
TREMENDOUS guns, by the way, I LOVE guns, patriots LOVE guns, the best guns!
Played it with my buddy the “Big Yahu” great guy, tough as hell. And the Outpost map? Looks exactly like Tel Aviv, or so I’m told. BEAUTIFUL!
They can’t stop us! 🇺🇸
RESIST! - DJT
I’m level 30 with about 35-40 hours put into the game but man I love it.
This is my second ever extraction shooter, first being Arc and damn it was indeed very hard getting used to it as a more casual gamer, but with time I started to learn the gameplay loop, strategies and started using team comms constantly.
My friends don’t play it cause they play Arc more but I find it okay playing with infill too, some of them use comms and some don’t but nonetheless it’s fun. My favourite part of the game is definitely the lore and story, I’m a sucker for a good story
If there’s anything I’d want changed it’s to be matched with lower lever players like me, I sometimes match with players above level 60-80 which is pretty crazy for me but I manage sometimes. I’d say I wish it was more casual-friendly but the hardcore part of the game is what makes it special no? Also optional but more cinematics would be sick I love them and the story
I’m in the EU and matchmaking takes a few minutes yeah, but it gives me time to drink water, use the restroom etc so it cancels out
People should really stop doomposting here IMO, a free-weekend could probably convince my friends to buy Marathon though and others’ friends for sure
I haven’t played Arc in about 2 months and this update def got me hooked on the game again
There are some bad changes in this update Ofcourse, such as changing the Trials system, the nerfs etc.
While the nerfs do suck yes, it does make the game feel more competitive. Makes you strategise how to use your materials and when to shoot someone/something, if it’s even worth the cost and how to find new ways to avoid threats (in a way it also encourages player cooperation)
The new map is cool, it being smaller gives u more interaction with players and the Arc being more present gives u a bigger threat to focus on, same cool adrenaline I used to get when I first started playing
The turbine is okay as an enemy, even after 6 hours of playing I still only met it about 2 times so it’s spawn rate should definitely be higher
The update has its bad side as every other update does, but imo the good outweighs the bad. Me and my friends had a blast today
I do sympathise with invisibility cloak users though , hope it gets fixed alongside the trials system
Recently I’ve realised I might be aromantic, asexual or just both.
It started recently when I got asked out by a crush or two irl, which made me realise that both romance and sex are overrated and not what is made to be in movies, books etc.
I somewhat realised that what I really craved was human connection, something like what I had with my best friend before she had to move away, once I made a connection with them I enjoyed it so much, but I got avoidant when one of them tried to kiss me and take things further.
I’m not that much of a sexual person either, I thought I could handle it but when I got asked if I wanna do anything I couldn’t say yes, and don’t get me wrong he was beautiful, not even porn gets me “in the mood” to do it solo
What I really found peace, happiness and love recently is my political science and international relations journey. Im currently going to Brussels in about 2 or 3 months to hopefully study either political science or international relations there, something I’ve thought about every day since I was little, something I never thought was possible due to my working class background, but with my family’s support recently it got possible. Recently I’ve read so many books that have to do with political theories or foreign affairs such as “The Tragedy of Great Power Politics”, I’ve also volunteered for political parties I like and helping my uncle out with his parliamentary candidacy. I’ve also started my own little political movement in my home country, atleast online and it seems to be doing well
The friends I made there honestly feel like they fill every gap I thought I needed in a romantic/sexual relationship. I like the thought of being so close with someone, but I love more the thought of leading people forward, helping shape a country/institution and leaving a lasting legacy. I even prayed to God that’d I’d be happy and grateful to have a successful political career rather than children, hoping he did listen to that.
Although I’m very thankful to everyone in my life who made me realise that relationships, children or marriage might just not be for me, that I’m destined for something bigger, even though I know I dissapointed most of them due to me not learning this sooner.