u/Potential_One_8058

I purposely sent this man unflattering photos of me before we met. He said he thought I was cute. He texts me 24/7, then we meet today. He texts me once after then radio silence. I’m so tired of this. I get wanting to give people a chance but I hate always having to be anxious on a first date because I don’t know if they’ll ghost afterwords.

I feel pathetic at this point. Its been almost TWO MONTHS since the guy I was dating for 9 weeks ghosted me. We met off a dating app, I thought things were great for two months, then he just started responding once a day and being too busy to ever see me. At first he told me his work schedule was just crazy, so I gave him some space and wait’s. It’s been six weeks since we’ve last hung out. I asked him to hangout three weeks ago, he said yes, then flaked on me saying it was his friends birthday and he hasn’t seen them in forever.

Last week I asked him if he wanted to hangout over the weekend. He tells me he’s not going to be home, but we can do next weekend. Then he texted me yesterday that he actually is going on an impromptu trip over the weekend. He gets one day off a week, so he’s apparently driving 8 hours to stay at the beach for one day. I flipped out on him, and said I understand im not his type and wish him the best of luck.

He then responds insisting he’s just busy, and goes “ but we can hangout Thursday? I’ll just be working *most important and stressful role that day, I’ll try to get one of my coworkers to cover that day for me”. I already know he has no intention of calling off and putting me before his career so I say i feel bad, and he doesn’t have to do that. He then thanks me for understanding and says he just has so much he wants to do and he only gets one day off per week. ITS BEEN ALMOST 7 WEEKS!

Im just enraged. Why for the love of god can this man just not say ” I’m sorry you’re just not my type and I don’t feel a connection.”?! Hes obviously not suddenly so busy that he can’t see me for 7 weeks, when he use to see me weekly. Same with texts, he use to text 16 times a day, now it’s once per day.

I’m a young woman who’s physically unattractive due to my facial features, not weight, meaning there’s nothing I could do. Please do not ask me for pictures and just take my word for it. I constantly get told by people to just date unattractive men who cant get attractive woman. The issue though is that I can’t force physical attraction, and having sex with someone I’m not physically attracted to actually repulses me ( I’ve tried and couldnt do it). People have called me shallow for it, and have told me there’s more to relationships than looks. Many people have told me that most average looking people are attracted to their partners for their personality, not looks. One person even said if everyone only dated people they were physically into no one would date past age 29?? Is this true?

Literally the title. I started seeing this guy in December who seemed crazy about me. Three weeks after we had sex he switched up and started acting less into me. One night after we had sex I brought up the “what are we” conversation. His response was “ omg I used you and lead you on im sorry” . When I asked if it was my appearance he said I was pretty in my own way, and that ugly men have it worse cause they can’t wear makeup.

He stopped even pretending to be my friend then and straight up only hit me up for more ego boosts, for example one of his texts after we got in a fight and stopped talking for awhile was “ I bet you really missed talking to me and couldn’t take it“ and more that I can’t include because it would be too long.

I dated another man after him for two months and the guy ended it because he just couldn’t become attracted to me. He tried because of my personality but he just couldn’t. I feel like I can’t trust that a man who pursues me is even into me anymore. The only red flag I can think of for this guy was he never complimented me.

I’ve put myself out there A LOT dating wise. I’ve managed to go out with guys who want to use me for sex when desperate, or they’re just desperate in general and don’t have any other options. One thing that’s ALWAYS happened is they can never just confidently reassure me that I’m pretty to them. I know no one owes you anything, but it still really sucks.

One guy was giving me a chance because he had low self esteem. I confide in him that I don’t believe he’s attracted to me and his response is “ just wear more makeup and you’re pretty in your own way. Pretty girls have it hard too, you should walk a mile in their shoes”. Like I’m so bad looking they can’t even LIE! And I’m suppose to be grateful they’re giving me any attention at all.

I’ve been reading a lot of posts on Reddit, and it seems like the common sentiment for unconventional looking people dating is “ oh my husband sees beyond my looks and is very attracted to me for my personality“ or some variation of it. I don’t need to be the most attractive woman ever to a man, but I do want him to find me attractive physically, am I hoping for too much?

I was seeing a guy for two months. I thought things were going great. We had sex a month in and I was fully prepared for him to ghost me after, but he didn’t and he continued seeing me for another month. I asked to be exclusive and then he tried to cheat the next day ( don’t want to get into the specifics).

I said we could go back to just not being exclusive but he just started slow fading me. Suddenly he was too busy to text back more than once a day, and he was too busy to hangout. I tried talking to him about it, I asked if I misread things the entire time and if I was just seeing what I wanted to see, because i was so certain that he really liked me before and was interested. He just apologized for misleading me, and we haven’t spoken since.

This was a man who was taking me out on dates, paying for things, and texting constantly. Before him the same thing happened with another guy, he was buying me lunch everyday, being vulnerable with me, texting me 24:7 and taking me on dates. Even people around us swore the other guy liked me, then three weeks after sex suddenly he just wanted a friendship and he claimed that’s all he ever wanted, which is complete bullshit. He even tried saying I was the one who initiated the sex which just isn’t true.

I feel like an idiot. Granted both these situations only lasted two months, but still. Am I missing som red flag?

I’m saying this as a woman. I constantly see a woman go on about how a man really does love her, but he’s afraid of commitment and is an avoidant. I find it ridiculous and, I think it stops the woman from moving on because she thinks there’s still a chance. Unless a man is going through something extreme like a big health issue or family emergency, there’s a 99% chance he just doesn’t like you enough.

In her late teens/early 20s she was regularly going on about how Justin prefers models, she encouraged her fans to hate on Sofia Richie, and she reposted a photo of Justin hanging out with a model to encourage her fans to hate on said model. The thing is though- Selena Gomez was arguably just as conventionally attractive as models, maybe more so, she just wasn’t tall enough.

It’s also weird how she chased after Justin so much when she could’ve had almost any man she wanted back then. Maybe Justin was just not that into her look, but I wouldn’t be surprised if her massive personality issues made him lose interest. I get her feeling insecure after the weight gain started, but it’s genuinely bizarre that she was insecure back then when she was as pretty as she was.

I was dating a guy for two months, I asked to be exclusive then found him on a dating app the next day. We had a big fight and then I agreed we could just keep seeing each other casually. We hung out once after that, he flaked on me two times, and it’s been other a month since we’ve hung out. The last time he flaked on me he never rescheduled and just said he wants to see me but doesn’t know when.

He has texted me first, and he’s not dry , but he mainly only talks about himself and never asks about my life. He also takes 20 hours- 1 day to respond, when he use to text me 8-16 times a day. The past few days he’s texted me 24 hours later, and he only responds after I post a story. Yesterday he posted a story while I was on delivered for 16 hours.

He has a very demanding/busy career, but the difference in interest level he’s been giving me is jarring. His family is also visiting from another country . I left his last message on read when it kind of elicited a response and idk how to feel about it. On one hand I feel like I was being slow faded anyway, on the other hand what if he’s just really busy?

I went out with this guy in residency for two months. We saw each other once a week and he texted me 10-16 times a day. Over the past month we haven’t hung out once, and he texts 1-3 times a day. I’ve asked if he’s just not interested and he swears he’s busy. I have a big feeling he’s just lost interest and I should move on, but is this normal and he was just putting a ton of effort in at the start?

Before I accepted it, my ego would get in the way of me understanding a dude obviously didn’t like me. I’d believe stupid bullshit like “ oh yeah he’s just been too busy the past 19 hours to answer”. Now? Now I just think “ Obviously he doesnt like me because I’m ugly, I’m not going to embarrass myself any longer.”

I had a guy get with me out of desperation then dip after two months. He’d keep texting me and insist he’s just busy, even though he texts 3 times a day and hasn’t seen me in a month. I told myself “ you’re ugly, of course he’s not interested, just stop answering before he ghosts you entirely” and you know what I’m happy I had that thought process.

If I hadn’t accepted my fate as an ugly person I probably would’ve dragged this out longer, but at least I ended it relatively quickly; and I got to do it first. I feel proud of myself.

Mine has been horrible. The last ugly guy I tried to date was probably even less attractive than me do his weight, and he was 5’7. I thought things were going well, then he hit on my friend and called her gorgeous. He had never even called me pretty. We havent hung out since but I’m 99% sure he was desperate, gave it a chance, but just couldn’t like me.

I realized I was at 20. I’m white and thin, yet I never got treated like the pretty blonde hair blue eyes girls did. I realized it was my facial features that were bad then. Dont get me wrong, it’s great that I don’t experience racism or fatphobia, but it does kind of suck when people say shit like “ all young thin white woman are conventionally attractive” and you are a thin young woman who’s still ugly.

I am objectively unattractive to most people. I have the face of a man even though I’m a woman. My body and voice are feminine, my hormones are normal, I get a period and have a uterus etc, but for whatever reason I have the face of a man who grows no facial hair. I will get people constantly telling me to “embrace it” and that “ one guy will find it attractive” and it just makes me feel like shit because I desperately don’t want to look like this.

When I confide that I want facial feminization surgery they all start going off about how I shouldn’t do that because I’m uniquely pretty and I shouldn’t care what people think. They then again empathize that I should embrace the masculinity even though no part of me wants to look masculine. It’s irritating because I know if these people woke up tomorrow looking like the opposite gender they’d want surgery too. I had one guy think I was trans from just seeing my face, and he STILL told me I shouldn’t get surgery.

Any good surgeons for jaw/chin reduction, preferably in the USA?