u/Present_Community_55

I made a similar post on marriage and now I am making this post on not wanting to have children

1. I don't want to inflict the same trauma I went through on them

2. I will be the one to break the generational trauma that my parents dumped on me

3. No child of mine will ever see his dad putting his hands on mom

4)No child of mine will be the parentified adult daughter

5)I have no choice but to work 12 hours a day for the next 12 years

6)I have two siblings who I have to take care for next 10 years

7. my parents have become my children at this point of my life

8. my kids will never live in poverty like I did

9. My kids will never go through mental health issues like I did

10. I like to give silent treatment to people who bug me but I will never give that silent treatment to my own kids

11. most woman on my family who had children always despised them secretly

12. Having kids and not giving them time could have been my condition because I work a lot and no kid deserve negligence

13. Parenting everyone from the birth has made me resentful

14)If I had a girl child I will always be worried about her safety as I have gone through molestation and everything

15. If I had a boy child I will always be worried about him going through sexual assault too

16. The country I live in has a very orthodox mentality regarding parents and kids relation

17. I have seen what my mother went through having no money and shielding her kids throughout childhood from abuse

18. I will never want to outlive my children.

19. Oneday I will pass and leave them alone in the world, always worrying about them, that's not gonna happen

20. I may have a healthy and happy marriage but my kids can choose abusive partners, I would not want them to go through that, If I had an abusive partner and children , then that's another sad thing to add.

I am asking specifically who witnessed that in childhood, beetween your parents.

I had forgotten about that for so long but now those memories keeps coming back.

From the beginning of my life, I had been a very nice and kind girl, never done anything to harm anybody.

I had so much empathy for the people around me that I always made sure to take other people emotions in consideration.

That only left me with trauma and trust issues.

Sometimes, you have to match the energy and show them what they deserve.

This is only for single folks.

If you are happily married please scroll past.

Also please add more reasons in the comments to remind me to never get married.

Here it goes:

1. I like being by myself

2)I don't want to get into an abusive relationship

3. marriage is one of the few things in life that is not warranted

4. I don't want to be cheated on

5)I am way too focused on my career

6. Money is a priority for me and I want to spend it without feeling guilty

7. I don't like to be constantly criticised and belittled

8)I don't want to be coerced into r*pe

9)I don't want to be forced into having kids

10. I don't want a man to put his hands on me

11. I work alot so I don't have time to put into a relationship

12)I am going to spend the next decade into paying for my siblings education

13)I want to take care of my parents and provide a lot of luxuries to them

14. The cycle of toxicity that has been faced by my previous generation ends with me

15)I no longer have desire to bond with a new sets of in-laws and relatives

16)I have a lot of medical health issues that seems selfish to put on someone

17. When I come home from a hard day at work, all I wanna do is rest not to entertain someone

18)I like to keep my social circle small

19)I have a lot of trauma of childhood that is gonna take time to heal

20. I don't want to put my happiness on hold because it has taken a long time to achieve it.

I used to be very optimistic, saw my life as an ideal one and living a very hedonistic , rose coloured lenses visoned life.

Basically living life through instagram.

After that life has hit me very hard.

I no longer have any self confidence left, no longer like or trust people and have sort of given up.

Three years ago I used to be a person who naturally found happiness in others people smile.

I used to like doing things for others , serving them used to make me happy.

I was fat and ugly since childhood, so I knew the only way to get validation from others is to make people happy.

But I did realise that they don't care about you, nobody does.

You being nice person will only get betrayals and betrayals in life.

I have become just opposite of what I used to be.

I no longer cares and being selfish is the best thing I have done.

I like him but I know it's not healthy, how long did it took you all to get over them?

So far I have had a very stressful , painful and meaningless life that I won't wish upon anyone.

I witnessed domestic violence and constant bickering of my parents since childhood.

Every year on every festival my parents would fight with each other.

There was no love .

We were the financially weaker members in our extended families and therefore had very less money for outings and stuff.

As a result I always saw my cousins and others going on trips and everything but never us.

My mom through my childhood had a lot of mental health issues for which I was in the charge as I was the eldest daughter.

When I finally went to college , I enjoyed my time a little because I was no longer the eldest daughter serving everyone I was the proud girl who was carefree.

But I started how much of a pickmesha I had become, I always craved for attention of others and never took any risks or did all the things I had promised to do.

I eventually developed a crush on that person when I had promised myself to not fall for anyone.

To be honest I know I don't like him It's just my feelings and emotions taking over my rationality.

I barely know him and as they say a crush is just a lack of information.

I always see other girls getting validation and love and me having nothing.

I had a very difficult childhood and for most part I have always tried to fit in.

Well not anymore, I guess I will always be that unlovable girl who will constantly seek love and attention from others.

It hurts to not have any real friends, parents who don't care about you, being extremely ugly and being extremely fat.

I wish I never existed.

I am extremely critical person and I don't like most of my people.

I haven't talked to my parents for a while and don't have many friends either.

But when it comes to that specific person my heart starts to beat very fast because I know that he will always be there.

I am married to him in my mind.

The thing is that I don't even know him and it's really hurtful.

It's been a journey of 20 months in total.

I have remembered each and every meeting of mine with him.

I have loved and cherished him so much in my mind , I am already married to him in my mind.

We have never spoken but I know there is something between us.

He is my senior and 1 year 21 days older than me.

Today was his graduation prom( we call it farewell in India) and I was feeling sad all the time.

I couldn't see him leaving.

But I know it's just a crush and. I don't love him for real.

I don't know much about him but when I look at him I feel I have known him very much and very dearly.

It feels that I have known him for eternity.

He sometimes looks at me but I know that he doesn't love me or care about me.

For my entire life I have been through a lot and I no longer care about what everyone thinks about me and I no longer care about their expectations, their wants , their needs.

I no longer want a shoulder to cry on.

The urge to be loved, accepted and validated has disappeared.

I no longer want to be idolised, no longer want to be understood and no longer want to be the good girl who can never harm anyone.

Because being a good girl with lack of boundaries made me a scapegoat.

Being considered good came with a lot of taking of abuse.

My own father threw my entire family out when I was 12 and I was rejected by relatives for not being the ideal good girl.

I was just a child and I deserved to loved not trying to always walk on eggshells to please my father.

When I got into college , it was my goal to make everyone love me, I would go above and beyond just so everything will love me but I quickly realised that how pathetic I looked.

I am not longer the person I used to be.

I no longer dream of love like I used to .

I no longer wants to fall in love.

I am fine with being by myself.

I no longer wants to pick up my relatives calls and I no longer wants to talk my father ever.

I am the same unlovable girl I used to be and I have no desire to change it.