I HATE BEING TRANS OH MY GOD. I feel so empty, like no matter what gender I am im lying to myself. My name sounds like a slur. I can never be who I want to be anyway because apparently my existence is controversial. I just want to start testosterone and finally love myself.
For context I'm a baby witch, and i worship mother nature. I never have religious dreams. Last night I started making a devil mask for fun because why not, i make masks all the time. When I went to sleep, I had a dream about god. I could feel the sunlight and I felt very worshipful, but it almost felt fuzzy, like I was just out of her reach. And then I could feel that something was terribly wrong. She told me that I had welcomed an evil spirit into my home. When I woke up, I felt sick.
I think the evil is coming from the mask,,, should I cleanse it and try to salvage it? Should I burn it??
The cat is Bluestar from Warrior Cats, and the collie is my fursona! He's a four leaf clover dog but the LPS version just looks stoned HELP.
I've wanted her for so long omg!!! Yippee!!!
Im probably going to delete this later.
Because shes 18 theres nothing we can do. She is states away now, that's all we know. She won't talk to anybody and she's with someone we don't know. She didn't even bring her dog.
I feel like a part of me has been ripped out. She was my role model. She was everything. And now she won't even respond to my text asking if she's okay. I feel so out of place in the world at the moment. I'm trying to be brave and to keep eating for my mom but it's hard.
Such a weird dream. Every time you "went to bed" in my dream this title popped up with different messages. I don't remember anything else except for that I was walking around town and there was nobody else.
Aegoaroace
Queer
Schrodinger's boy
Aporagender
Berrisexual
Rottenboy
:33
I can't will myself to do anything. I feel dead. I've forgotten how to interact with people. I almost hit someone over a small argument. I'm going to hell.
Based on season one episode twelve. Idk I want to give Kevin a hug 😭
I never thought I would make it this far
Edit: someone commented telling me to relapse LMAO say that to my face without deleting it pussy
With some Headcanons but whatever lmao
Second image is a screenshot of what I sent my mother. Her and my dad have been ignoring me since.
I wanted to bridge the gap between us regarding my gender identity. I wanted them to have a meaningful part in my life and contribute to my name but I guess not.
It's not even like me being trans is a surprise to them. I've talked to them several times and every time they hurt me more and more, with the most recent time before this escalating into my dad comparing me to a drug addict.
I've been watering this dead plant for far too long. I'm tired of grieving people who don't care or want to be involved in my life, especially when i fought tooth and nail to protect their peace and ignore the abuse. I'm cutting contact when I move out.
I've spent so long being unsure of literally everything and hating myself and it's coming to bite me in the ass. Also thank you derealization/dissasociation for making me believe I'm faking my mental disorders and plurality